The Winning Side

by C. M. Doporto

  “And did you a have a menstrual cycle that month?”

  “Yes, I had just finished my period when I had it inserted.”

  She typed in the information on her tablet as I spoke. “Okay, what about February. Did you have a period then?”

  “Yes, and it was regular… well, maybe a little heavier than normal. And I had a period on March fifth,” I sighed. This couldn’t be happening. Not to me. What had I done to deserve this? “I don’t understand. Why didn’t it work? I was told that it was effective immediately.”

  “They are, but sometimes periods can stop. They can also alter your hormones, though you didn’t have the one with hormones.”

  “Yes, I was informed of that. That’s why I wasn’t concerned when I missed my period the last two months.”

  “The IUD can also shift and if that happens, an egg can slip through.”

  “What do you mean it can shift?” I narrowed my eyes at her.

  The doctor set the tablet on the counter behind her. “Well, when it is first inserted, it’s not firmly imbedded. So, during a heavy period or vigorous activities, such as sex, it can shift.”

  “Yeah, Raven is pretty big.” Delaney nudged me.

  My head spun around. “How the hell do you know?”

  She held up her hands. “No, I didn’t mean his junk — I wouldn’t know about that. I’m just referring to him being a muscular guy and…” she shook her head, “never mind.”

  “Laney, you’re not helping.”

  The doctor tried to conceal the smirk on her face. I had to admit, it did sound funny hearing Delaney plead her innocence to me, but it didn’t change the fact that I was supposedly pregnant, or that Raven was really big. Like deliciously big.

  Why do I keep thinking about him?

  “If the first day of your last period was March fifth, then you would have been ovulating from March seventeenth through the twenty-second, based on a twenty-eight day cycle,” she said, pointing to a calendar she retrieved from the counter.

  No wonder I was so horny.

  “Were you sexually active during those days?”

  Was I? That was an understatement. That’s all Raven and I did — have sex during Spring Break. I recalled how happy we were. We had just gotten engaged the week before. We had definitely celebrated. “Yes, I was. My fiancée and I had sex several times,” I said with a heavy voice.

  “Then I think it’s safe to say that the test is correct.”

  Shit.

  “So, I would like to do a sonogram. By my calculations, you should be about eight weeks pregnant.” She smiled and I wanted to cry.

  “Great.”

  She opened a drawer and pulled out a hospital gown. “If you’ll please put this on, with it open to the front, we can take a look.” Before she walked out of the room, she turned around. “And don’t forget to get undressed from the waist down.”

  “I need to take off my panties so you can see my belly?” I glanced at Delaney out the corner of my eye. Did this lady doctor have something else in mind?

  “Yes. I will do a sonogram across your stomach first, but if I can’t see anything, I’ll need to do a vaginal sonogram. I’ll also need to remove the IUD. We can’t leave it in there if you’re pregnant.”

  “Oh, yeah, forgot about that.”

  She shut the door and I felt the color drain from my face. I hoped I wasn’t pregnant. It could just be the IUD preventing my periods and showing a false positive — if there was such a thing.

  “I’ll just wait outside.” Delaney walked toward the door and gripped the doorknob.

  “No. I need you in here,” I said, unzipping my shorts. “Unless you’d prefer not to be.”

  She dropped her hand and turned around. “Of course I do. I’m here to support you, Lexi.”

  I gave her a lopsided smile. Hearing her say that made me want to cry. Why the hell was I feeling so emotional?

  Oh God. Maybe four tests hadn’t lied after all…

  Come to think of it, I had been very emotional the past few weeks, but I had good reason to be. My fiancée left me. I finally decided what I wanted to do with my life. I had been accepted to grad school, received a promotion at the writing center...

  Shit! This is all going south quickly.

  I got undressed and slipped on the nightgown. I wanted to get this over with and be on my way. As I sat on the cold table with my arms supporting my body, I tried to avoid the footrests staring at me. I mean, who in the hell likes to sit spread eagle while someone sticks a cold instrument inside of you? Had to be a man that invented that technique; I doubted it was a woman.

  “Damn, I should have opted for the pill instead. Maybe I wouldn’t be going through any of this”

  “I told you.” Delaney looked up from the magazine she was thumbing through. “Damn, how old is this magazine? I didn’t know Christina Aguilera was pregnant.”

  “I think she already gave birth.” A knock sounded at the door. “You can come in,” I said, laying against the paper cover beneath me.

  The doctor shut the door and sat on a stool to the side of me. “Move up, just a little.” She took out a clear bottle from a drawer and shook it a few times. “We’ll start with your stomach first. It might be a little cold.”

  She opened my nightgown and squirted a jelly like substance all over my slightly protruding belly. When did my stomach start looking like that? It had always been very flat and lean. Something was definitely wrong. She flipped on the computer monitor and pressed the mouse- like instrument to my stomach. Flesh bumps dotted my skin and I took a deep breath.

  “Laney.” I reached my hand out toward her and she quickly came to my side.

  “Okay, let’s take a look.” She moved the wand around my belly as I stared intently at the screen. It was hard to make out the images since everything was in black and white. It looked like a scrambled TV station to me. She pressed a few buttons and zoomed in on my uterus. At least, that’s what I assumed she was looking at. “Ah ha. There you are.”

  “What? There’s what?” I lifted my head, trying to get a better view.

  “Just looks like a bunch of circles to me,” Delaney said, squinting her eyes.

  “See that wishbone looking thing that’s a little crooked?”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s your IUD.”

  “Oh,” Delaney and I said simultaneously.

  Then she pressed the instrument firmly against my stomach and moved upward. She hit another button on the keyboard and the screen zoomed in again. “And see that?” Using a mouse on the keyboard, she circled two areas on the screen. “Those would be your babies.”

  “Babies?”

  “What the fu…” Delaney started and stopped.

  “Wh-what do you mean ‘babies’?”

  “Just a minute.” The doctor continued to move the instrument around my stomach with one hand, capturing different angles by pressing a few buttons on the computer. “Here’s a better position.”

  Delaney and I both leaned forward as she positioned the computer screen so we had a better view.

  “Here’s one embryo sack,” she placed a circle around it, “and here’s another one.”

  “Oh God.” I thought I was going to pass out. She couldn’t be serious. Not one baby… but two? Twins. Go figure. How the hell would I manage taking care of two babies? I wasn’t even prepared to handle one. What was I going to do?

  Cry.

  Scream.

  Tell Raven?

  I closed my eyes. The last thing I wanted was for him to be with me because I was pregnant. It wasn’t right. I wanted him to be with me because he loved me, not because we were having babies. He left me because he didn’t want to be with me. This didn’t change anything.

  “I’m so screwed,” I muttered under a heavy breath.

  Delaney must have been thinking the same thing because she took a few steps back, hitting the wall. “You’re pre-pregnant with tw-twins?”

  “Yes, she is and my ca
lculations are correct. You’re measuring right at eight weeks and three days.” She typed some information into the computer. “Which means you probably got pregnant on March seventeenth.”

  “That was my birthday.”

  “Must have been some birthday.” The doctor raised a brow.

  “Oh no.”

  “Is something wrong?”

  I took a hard swallow, trying to calm my racing heart. Even though I had never thought much about being pregnant, I’d seen the warning signs about drinking while pregnant. What if all the alcohol I’d consumed the night of my birthday caused the babies to have birth defects?

  “Yes, I got really drunk the night of my birthday. I mean, really drunk. Will that will affect the babies?”

  The doctor cleaned the jelly from my stomach. “No, it was too soon. I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Unless you’ve continued to drink for the past eight weeks.”

  “No, I haven’t had any alcohol since then.”

  “Can you tell what they are?” Delaney eyed the screen.

  “No, it’s too soon. The sex will be recognizable around week eighteen.” She pressed another button and a printer spat out a few pictures. With a quick wrist, she tore them from the feeder. Folding them up neatly, she handed them to me. “Here are the pictures of your babies.”

  I took them from her and looked at the top picture. Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! She’d typed the message on the front, one for each embryo. Tears streamed from my eyes and my throat thickened.

  I was pregnant.

  With twins.

  And they were Raven’s.

  There was no way I was aborting my babies. With or without Raven, I was going to do this. I was having these babies.

  “Okay, Lexi. I need to remove the IUD next. But I have to warn you, there is a risk of miscarrying.”

  “Miscarrying?” I quickly wiped the tears from my face. “What if we leave it in?”

  “That would be worse. Especially with twins.” She opened another drawer and took out a pair of needle nose plyers and a metal insert. My stomach tensed. “Since you’re only eight weeks, you’re at a twenty-five percent risk, so I think you’ll be fine. I do have to warn you though, because when I remove the IUD, I’m disturbing the uterus, which is where the embryos are. The body could naturally abort them. I want you to take it easy for the next few days, okay? I’ll give you my card. Call me if you have any problems.”

  “I’m supposed to move in the next few days. I’m graduating on Saturday.”

  “You should be fine for Saturday, unless you miscarry. No heavy lifting or overexerting yourself.” She smiled and patted my hand. “It’s not worth the risk.”

  “Okay.”

  “Let’s get that thing out.” She motioned for me to put my feet in the stirrups. I guess I would have to get used to it since I was officially pregnant. With twins. Lord help me.

  Σ

  Chapter 18

  “Get up! It’s moving time.” A rapid succession of knocks startled me and I bolted upright.

  I gasped for air and blinked several times. “Shit. You scared me.”

  “Why aren’t you up already?” Luke stood in my doorway, wearing shorts and a PHU ball cap backwards. The ends of his hair curled up and it looked sweaty and hot. “I texted Delaney this morning.”

  “What?” I yawned and reached for my phone. It showed fifteen minutes to noon. I’d been asleep since nine o’clock — completely spent from yesterday’s events and shocking news. I think I deserved to sleep late.

  “Shit. Did she not tell you?” My brother huffed. “Laney, I thought—”

  “Yeah, I thought you said you’d be here after twelve.” She hopped around on one leg, trying to tie her tennis shoe. “I was just about to wake her up.”

  “You should’ve already been up and ready to go. Josh is on his way with the truck, so if you’re shit isn’t ready, you’re SOL.” Luke stormed out of the room past Delaney, bumping into her. “What’s ready to go?”

  “Just a minute!” she hollered back. “Hey, I’m sorry. He text me around nine and said that he was helping Josh move and once they were done, they’d come over here and help us.” She sat on the edge of my bed. “I told him to come because we could use their help.” Glancing at my midsection, she asked, “How are you feeling?”

  I stretched. “Okay. Just a little sore.”

  “Take it easy and let everyone do the carrying. Just act like your moving stuff so no one will think anything.” She got up as Luke called for her again.

  “Laney?” I motioned for her to wait.

  “Yeah?”

  “Let me tell Luke, okay?”

  She nodded. “Sure. I won’t say anything.”

  I’d just found out a few days ago that Josh and Shelby were moving into a new condo on Seventh Street. It made me a little sad. There were so many good memories at that apartment, but without Raven there, it made sense why Josh wanted to move. Especially since Shelby got a job in downtown Fort Worth and he was getting ready for the draft.

  Throwing back the covers, I crawled out of bed and quickly dressed. Thankfully, I had almost everything packed except for my bedding and stuff I was using daily. I stripped my bed and shoved the sheets, blanket, and pillows into a large trash bag. It didn’t take me long to pack my bathroom and have everything ready just as Josh and Shelby walked in the door.

  “Hey, Lexi.” Shelby gave me a kiss on the cheek. “You look different.”

  “Um,” I shifted my weight, making sure my tiny pooch wasn’t showing. Wearing workout shorts and a loose tank top, I made sure it hid my mid-section well. “I got my hair cut last week.” I ran my fingers through the strands.

  “It does look a little shorter, but no, that’s not it.” Using her finger, she traced a circle in the air, as though marking me. “You’re glowing.”

  “Oh.” My mouth hit the floor. I was glowing? Really? That wasn’t good for masking my pregnancy from my friends.

  “Hey, Lex.” Josh approached me from behind and placed me in a bear hug.

  “Josh!” I squealed.

  “We sure miss hanging out with you.”

  “I know, I do, too.” I smiled, wiggling out of his arms wrapped just above my stomach. It’s weird how in one day I went from not knowing I was pregnant with twins, to being extra cautious. But I had to be, at least for the next few days. “Did you already move into your new place?”

  “Sure did.”

  “You’ll have to come by and visit.” Shelby fingers were working through her hair as she made a braid.

  “I will.”

  “Everything ready to go?” Josh asked, surveying the dorm.

  “Yep.” I pointed to all the boxes in the hall.

  “Then let’s get it, girl.” Josh popped Shelby on the butt and she jumped.

  “Sweetie.” She grabbed his arm and planted a kiss on his lips. They looked so happy — excited about moving in together, starting their life together. I hated to admit it, but I missed that so much. Envy was never a problem for me, but I really wanted what they had for Raven and me. Too bad that chance was over.

  Everyone shuffled around the dorm, grabbing boxes and bags as they helped us gather our belongings. I followed Josh and Shelby outside, only carrying my bedding since it wasn’t that heavy. I did what Delaney recommended so no one would think I wasn’t helping.

  “Wow.” I stared at a large U-Haul truck parked at the curbside. “Luke didn’t say you were bringing this big thing.”

  Josh unlocked the back gate and lifted it. “He said you gals needed help moving and since I don’t have to return this truck until tomorrow, I thought we could do it in one trip.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate it. Sure makes it easier for us.”

  A bare mattress and brown furniture immediately caught my attention. Josh cleared his throat a few times. “So, um, these are Raven’s. I tried to call him, but his phone isn’t working. I talked to Trish, but she said she didn’t have room for them. She told me to ask
you if you wanted them.”

  How ironic that I needed furniture for my room and it happened to be Raven’s. “Oh.” I sighed and crossed my arms. Did I really want to be sleeping on the mattress that we’d shared so many times? Where I’d lost my virginity? That mattress was full of our memories.

  Shit.

  “If you don’t want it, I’ll just drop it off at the Goodwill.”

  “No.” I raised a hand. “I mean, yes, I’ll take it. I was going to get my furniture at my parents, but this works out better.”

  “Alright.” He smiled and took the bags from my hands, sliding them into the truck.

  I trudged back upstairs and gathered a few more things as everyone picked up boxes and took them to the truck. It was evident that Raven would be a permanent part of me, even if we weren’t together. And if I were able to give birth to his babies, I would see him in them. There was no escaping it. Raven would be a part of me forever.

  “I think that’s it,” Delaney said, holding a box with odds and ends.

  Luke took the last box from my hand and I relaxed my arms. “Say your goodbyes, girls.”

  My lips twitched to the side. A lot had happened in the last two years. Part of me was glad to be moving on, while another part of me felt sad.

  “Lots of memories were made in that room.” Luke nudged Delaney as she slipped into her bedroom, doing a double check.

  “Yeah, but we’ve got a new one to start on.” She winked at him and he grinned.

  I walked into my bedroom and did one last glance. Sitting on my bed was a vision of Raven, his hands folded as he leaned against his thighs, the soft glow of my nightlight making him appear Godlike. The night he’d brought me home from the frat party was so vivid. Almost like it was yesterday. It was the night that he confessed he wanted to have sex with me. I had thought that would be the night.

  I laughed under my breath as a tear escaped. If only I wouldn’t have fallen into his trap. But it was too late for that. I ran my hand over my little bump. His trap was right there in the center of me. Two of them. I sighed and turned around, leaving those good times behind me. I turned off the light and shut the door. They would remain there forever.

  We locked up the dorm and went downstairs. “I’ll turn in our keys,” Delaney said, taking my copy as we exited the elevator.