“Okay, I’ll be outside.”
Luke followed her to the residence desk and I headed for the door. As I entered the foyer, I stopped for a second, glancing at the baby grand piano that held a lifetime of musical memories. I hadn’t played since Spring Break, but the last time I had played this one was with Raven. The tears reappeared, streaming down my cheeks and spilling into my hair.
Approaching it, I glided my hand over the sleek black wood. Nothing would ever take away the love I had for playing — not my mom and especially not Raven. Regardless of the pain it brought or the happiness it spread, the piano would forever be my favorite pastime.
I dropped my purse to the floor and slid onto the bench. Running my fingers along the keyboard, I collected the dust and wiped my hands. I’d never forget the first day Raven showed up as I was playing All of Me. I couldn’t believe he was watching me play. A tiny smile escaped from my lips. The best part was when we sang Lean On Me to each other. I had promised to be there for him, no matter what. Why didn’t he let me do that? Why did he have to walk out on me?
I shook my head and rested my fingers along the ivory. Pressing my fingers in unison, I began playing a familiar melody. It was like the notes were dying to be released. I played with all of my soul, not missing one. I had given all of myself to Raven, yet he had chosen not to accept it.
All of me honestly loved all of him.
Loved every bit of him.
Everything about him.
And I had thought he loved me equally. One thing was certain, I wouldn’t trade the time I had with him. It was magical while it lasted. For as long as I lived, despite what happened with my pregnancy, I was still willing to give all of me to him.
Forever.
A warm hand touched my shoulder and I stopped playing. “Come on, we gotta go,” Luke said with a caring voice. I smiled at him and sniffed repeatedly as another round of tears released. How I wished it would’ve been Raven’s hand instead of my brother’s.
I got up and placed Luke’s arm around me. He gave me tight squeeze. We didn’t say anything, but we didn’t have to. My brother knew what tormented me and what pain I was in because of Raven. He held me, giving me the comfort only a brother could instill. After a few minutes, we released our embrace and headed outside, leaving all of the memories behind us.
“I can’t believe this is it,” Delaney said, pulling out of the loading zone. “We’re graduating and moving on with our lives.”
“I know, it makes me sad. But it’s not like I won’t be up here every day in a few weeks.”
“So, are you still planning on going to grad school?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I really haven’t had time to think about it.”
“You’ve got time.” She grabbed my hand. “Don’t worry about it right now.”
“I’m sure it’ll all work out in the end.”
I leaned my head against the window, watching students walk in and out of buildings as Delaney drove through the campus to our new apartment. Purple and white banners attached to light poles flapped in the wind, advertising PHU’s baseball and football team. No doubt, PHU didn’t seem the same without their star quarterback, but as the saying goes, nothing good lasts forever.
We pulled up to the complex and the urge for a nap hit hard. The short drive had definitely relaxed me; I was ready to lay down for a late snooze. I struggled to get out of the car, feeling ten times heavier than normal. I couldn’t imagine what I’d feel like in six months. Thankfully, our apartment was on the first floor and stairs wouldn’t be an issue.
“Home sweet home.” Delaney opened the door and we walked in. I immediately slumped to the floor in the living room as everyone took a self-tour.
“It’s nice.” Josh stood with his hands on hips, scanning the living room.
“It’s so cute.” Shelby went from room to room.
“Thanks, I got one helluva a deal.” Delaney huffed, then dumped a bag in the middle of the hallway.
Luke dropped a few Target sacks from yesterday’s shopping excursion onto the floor and I immediately grabbed one of the pillows Delaney had bought for me. Unable to hold my head up, I clutched the pillow in my hands and remained on the floor.
“What the fuck?” Luke kicked my leg, but I was too tired to protest.
“Hey, don’t kick her.” Delaney slammed her fist into his side.
“We don’t have time for a nap. We’ve got a truck to unload.” He pointed toward the parking lot.
“In a minute.” The incessant need to close my eyes took over. It was as though my head felt like a nine pound bowling ball, ready to topple off my body. “I just need a five minute catnap.”
“Are you serious?” Josh huffed.
“Are you okay?” Shelby knelt next to me, stroking my hair. “You look a little pale.”
I nodded, unable to open my mouth. Sleep was all my body wanted, everything else would have to wait.
“I’m not going to unload all your shit while your lazy ass sleeps.” Luke’s voice rose louder and I knew he was mad. “That’s not cool, Lexi. You can’t expect us to do all the work while you take a break. It’s not right and you know it.”
Through half parted eyes, I looked at him, trying to think of a good excuse. “I’m sorry, I just…”
“Man, screw this.” Luke headed for the door and Delaney grabbed his arm.
“Luke, please. I need your help,” Delaney pleaded, but he shoved her hand away. He wasn’t buying it. “Just leave her alone. We can do it without her.”
“Fuck that.” He shoved past her and flung the door open.
“Wait!” I bolted upright and the room spun around me.
“Whoa.” Shelby braced me with her arm as I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes, trying to steady the awful sensation. “I don’t think she’s okay.”
I held up my hand as my stomach did a somersault. Swallowing a few times, I managed to keep my lunch down. This pregnancy thing wasn’t going so well. “I can explain. Just… please, don’t go. We need your help. I need your help.”
“Then explain.” Luke slammed the door. “Because I’m always doing everything for you.”
My head spun around. “Seriously? Is that how you feel? Because I’ve never asked you to do anything for me.” My eyes welled up, turning me into an emotional rollercoaster again.
This sucks.
“You might not have asked, but Mom and Dad sure expected it.” Luke’s face turned red and his jaw hardened as he pressed his lips together.
I straightened, feeling a surge of adrenaline. The dizziness subsided and I was ready to get to the bottom of his shitty attitude once and for all. I was tired of it. “That’s what this is all about?” I shoved my finger in his face. “I never expected you to do anything for me, other than giving me a ride here or there, but that’s it.”
“Maybe so, but my whole life I’ve had to watch after you. Go where you go. Follow all your steps. Make sure you didn’t do anything stupid.” He slapped my finger, knocking my hand to the side. “Well, I’m not doing it anymore. I’m done.”
“Good. I don’t need you to watch after me. I’m a grown woman. I can make my own decisions.”
“And how’s that working out for you?” Luke crossed his arms. “Huh?”
I eyed Delaney. Had she told him? She made a cross over her heart, as if swearing to the secret only we shared.
“You walked away from a guy who really loved you and gave yourself to someone who tossed you aside. Just like I warned you.”
“You’re still pissed about Collin?” I knew it. Even though he would never admit it to me, he’d been upset all along. I guess I couldn’t blame him. Collin had been his best friend since middle school.
“No, I’m not pissed about Collin. I told you it was between you and him. It just hate seeing you upset all the time and knowing that he didn’t give a shit about you infuriates me.” Luke balled his hands into fists.
Josh shifted his weight and I prayed
this wasn’t about to turn into a big fight.
“You don’t even know what you’re talking about.” Tears poured from my eyes as I battled my emotions for Raven — knowing exactly what tormented him daily. But it wasn’t my place to tell. “You have no idea what he’s been through.”
Luke rolled his eyes. “Lexi, everybody knows Raven’s story.”
“Luke, stop.” Delaney urged him to tone it down, but he ignored her.
“You might know his public story, but I know his real story.” I clutched my hand to my chest, feeling that familiar tug that gripped my heart. “And I know that he probably still loves me, but he just can’t get over what happened.”
With a laugh, Luke said, “You’ve got to be kiddin’ me. If he walked through that door, you’d take him back, wouldn’t you?”
I stared at Luke, unable to answer him. Wrapping my arms around my midsection, I embraced our creations. Even though I loved Raven, I wasn’t sure I would take him back, despite being pregnant. He hurt me and walked out on me too many times. It wasn’t like I just could brush it under the rug and give it another whirl.
“You would.” His face turned stoic.
“And if I did, that’s my decision.” I pointed to myself with two fingers. “Not yours, not Dad’s, and surely not Mom’s. In fact, what I decide to do is in my control.” I dropped my hands to my belly. “And if I want to have these babies then I will. And no one is going to tell me differently.”
“What?” Luke’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open.
Delaney covered her mouth and shook her head.
“Oh shit.” Josh looked stunned and his head jerked back.
“Oh my God, you’re pregnant!” Shelby through her hands up in the air. “Does Raven know?”
A sudden knock on the door startled us. Delaney opened the door. “Deliver for Delaney Dukahkis.” A middle-aged guy wearing a T-shirt with Furniture World over the pocket smiled as he held up a clipboard. Great timing.
“Oh, yes. That’s me.” Delaney turned toward the guy.
“You’re pregnant?” Luke said in a low voice.
With my hands, I covered my face. I had ratted on myself.
Shit.
“What’s going on?” Shawn’s voice echoed to the right of me. “Is this where the party is at?”
I dropped my hands. Could this get any worse?
Everyone looked at Shawn and he hesitated to step into the apartment.
“Hey, man.” Josh shook his hand. “Thanks for coming.”
“Yeah, were you guys waiting on me?” He looked at Luke, Delaney, and then me. “Are you okay, Lex?”
I wiped my tears and took a deep breath. “Yeah, pregnant.”
“Oh, that’s go—you’re what?” Shawn did a double take, the whites of his eyes popping out.
Now that the secret was out, I decided to tell him, too.
“Where do you want this?” The delivery guy reappeared as two guys followed behind, carrying our sofa.
“Oh, um,” Delaney scanned the living room, “how about right here, in the center.”
We shifted out of the way as the movers came toward us.
“Let’s go to your room so we can talk.” Luke pointed down the hall.
I walked to my empty bedroom and turned around to see everyone, except Delaney, file in behind me. My personal business had just became everyone’s interest.
“How long have you known?” Luke’s voice had transformed from anger to concern.
“I found out yesterday.”
“Do Mom and Dad know?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Are you going to tell them?”
I dropped my chin and peered at him through my lashes. “I’m going to have to eventually. I’m on their insurance.”
“How far along are you?” Shelby sounded the most enthusiastic about my situation.
“Eight weeks, but…” I shifted, unsure I should give them more details than they needed.
“But what?”
I straightened and took a deep breath. We were all adults and we’d all had sex. We knew about birth control. Or at least, knew something about it.
“There’s a twenty-five percent chance I could miscarry.”
Shelby sighed, “Oh no, why?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “They had to remove the IUD and it could cause the fetuses to abort.”
Luke took a step back. “Did you just say fetuses?”
“Uh, yes. I’m pregnant with twins.”
“Aw, hell.” Shawn rolled his shoulders, his body quivering.
“I guess I missed that part.” Luke took off his ball cap and ran his fingers through his hair. “How the hell are you going to manage two kids?”
“You got pregnant with an IUD?” Shelby glanced at me, then at Josh.
“Good thing you’re on the pill, sweets.” Josh told her and then looked at me with apologetic eyes. “Sorry, Lexi. Didn’t mean to throw one at ya.”
I blew off his comment. “Word to the wise, never opt for an IUD. They obviously don’t work.” I smirked.
“Damn, Lexi, I don’t know what to say.” Shelby gave me deep, sympathetic look. “I’m here for you.” She glanced at Josh. “We’re here for you. Whatever you need.” She immediately wrapped her arms around me and I hugged her tightly.
“Thank you. I appreciate it.”
“Are you going to tell Raven?” Josh asked, bringing my situation to head.
“Eventually.” I knew Raven had a right to know, but I hadn’t decided on when I was going to tell him. I needed some time to think things through. The last thing I wanted was for him to take me back because I was pregnant.
“Lexi, I think he has a right to know.” Shawn wrapped an arm around me. “If he’s the dad, I know he’d want to know.”
I looked up at Shawn. “Of course he’s the dad. And I know it’s only right to tell him, just give me some time to process a few things. What I need to do first is rest for a few days, like the doctor ordered, and then make it to graduation.”
“Okay. If you need help getting in touch with him, let me know.” Shawn pulled me closer. “I care about both of you.”
“I know you do.” I patted him on the chest. “I’ll let you know.”
“Then I guess we better get your bed set up first.” Josh turned to Luke, urging him to follow.
“Yeah, just a moment.” Luke motioned with his head. “Lexi, can I talk to you for a moment in private?”
“I’ll help you.” Shawn followed Josh and Shelby out of the room.
Luke shut the door and I took a deep breath. I’d never liked confrontation and I felt bad about what had just happened. But a part of me was glad we finally got it out in the open, exposed our true feelings — they had been repressed for too long.
Luke immediately gathered me into his arms. “I’m sorry, Sis. I didn’t mean to unleash on you like that. I had no idea you were pregnant. And I’m sorry that Raven left you. I’m here for you, you know that.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, resting my chin on his shoulder. My nose stung and my throat tightened. No matter how hard I tried to hold back the waterworks, they made their reappearance. “It’s okay. I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling that way toward me,” I mumbled against his shirt. “I hate that Mom and Dad put that burden on you. It’s not right.”
“It was more Mom than anything. You know how she is…”
I shook my head and sniffed. He increased the space between us and lifted my chin with his finger, bringing our eyes level. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but you need to tell Mom and Dad. Or at least Dad.
“I know. I will.” I pressed a hand to my temple. “Everything has happened so fast. I need a day or two to clear my head.”
“I understand, but graduation is in six days and…”
My head jerked up. “And what?”
Luke sighed and gritted his teeth together. “Mom is planning this big barbecue afterwards. She’s sent invitations to the en
tire family.”
I let my head fall back as my shoulders fell forward. “Are you serious?”
“Yep. I’m surprised Dad hasn’t told you.”
“He’s been texting me since yesterday, telling me he needs to talk to me. I told him I was busy packing and I’d call him later. That’s probably what he wants to tell me.”
“Probably.” Luke wiped a tear from my check. “Don’t worry, Sis. I know you’ll be alright.” He kissed me on the forehead and released me from his embrace.
“I know I will,” I sighed. “I’m going to have two babies to take care of. Can you believe that?”
“No.” He smiled. “I guess what happens in Padre, doesn’t stay in Padre,” Luke snickered.
I punched him in the arm. “That’s so not funny.”
“Sorry, Sis.” He walked toward the door and opened it. “You know I’m here for you.”
“Thanks. I’ll make sure to take you up on that offer once they’re born.”
Later that night, I lay on Raven’s mattress, cuddled in my new bedding, thinking about what Luke told me. I knew that I needed to tell my parents. Graduation was on Saturday and I hadn’t spoken to my mom since New Year’s Eve. I thought about what my friends said, and yes, they were right. I needed to tell Raven, too. He had a right to know. I just wasn’t ready. Not yet.
Σ
Chapter 19
“Luke’s outside!” Delaney hollered across the apartment. “He said to hurry. He wants to miss rush hour traffic.”
“Okay, I’m coming.” I grabbed my purse and headed for the door. I told Luke I was ready to tell Mom and Dad and asked him to take me. With graduation four days away, I figured I’d better get it over with.
We locked up the apartment and headed to the parking lot, where Luke was waiting.
Delaney opened the door and I got in the backseat. “Thanks, Luke, for taking me.”
“Yeah, no problem.” He lowered the radio and kept his eyes firmly planted on Delaney’s butt as she got in the car.
“Hey, sexy.” Delaney shot him one of her seductive looks as she slid into the front seat.
The Winning Side Page 23