by Cynthia Dane
Wait. I did. I did ask for this.
I kiss him, tentatively, letting my lips peck his until he wraps his arms back around me and pulls me in for a harder kiss. He’s not pushing me. He’s letting me take control for a few moments.
Can he sense it? The sub in me coming out? My desire to feel him in such an intimate way manifesting?
He tries to talk through our kisses, and I barely understand him. “You need a safe word,” he mumbles on my lips. “You’ll say stop and wait without thinking. Your safe word means you really need me to stop.”
I’m too busy kissing these lips to think of a safe word. “Pick one for me… sir.”
His hands caress my ass, my spine. “Pink. Like the color of these pretty lips.”
I can remember that.
“Tonight, Katie.” I’m wrapped up in his embrace, my nose grazing his stubble and inhaling that powerful cologne. I want him. I want him inside me, consuming me, helping me to get to know a side of myself I’ve never met before. “You’re going to be all mine tonight. I’ll go easy, but it will still be hard on you because you’re coming from a different world. Do you understand?”
“Yes… sir.”
“Good. Now when we go in there,” Ian gestures toward his bedroom, “I’m going to start Topping you again. I don’t mean to scare you. I’m listening to you, to your body. I want you to feel nothing but pleasure, but you have to let yourself feel that pleasure. I can’t do that for you.”
“I understand.”
“Come here.” He kisses me once more, his arms lowering and then lifting me.
Lifting me into his hold.
I’ve never had a man carry me before. I never thought Ian would be strong enough. I know he’s muscular. I know he’s stronger than he looks, but holy shit, he’s actually carrying me to his room, my arms looped around his neck as I try to hold myself together.
Ian Mathers is carrying me into his room. To dominate me.
Give in, slut. I wish she would shut up. I want to savor this moment as I am.
Chapter 26
KATHRYN
“You’re so soft and beautiful.” Ian has me on his bed, my arms propping myself up as he stands before me, pulling off my coat and devouring my body with his hungry eyes. “Everything about you is supple. Especially here.” He pokes one of my breasts, making me tremble. “You’re going to come undone for me, and I can’t wait.”
The coat falls down my arms, and I lift up each hand so he can pull it away and let it drop to the floor. Now he’s looming so far over me that everything is shadow.
Ian kisses my forehead, my cheek, my shoulder. Teeth nip my bra strap. He’s going slow, even though everything he does feels so… predatory. An alpha wolf in a crisp Barney’s shirt.
It shouldn’t make me so hot.
Moving to his room has made me feel safer, and I can’t really explain why. Maybe it’s the heightened sense of privacy. Maybe it’s the comfort of his king-sized bed. Or maybe I needed a change in scenery after associating my fear of losing control with the living room.
Doesn’t matter. I feel so much better now. I think I’m ready.
Pink. That’s my safe word. I can stop this at any time. Pink. I still have control.
“Do you want me to do it?” He’s muttering against my shoulder, pressing his face into my cleavage. His tongue strikes my nipple inside my bra, and I suck in my breath like I’ve never had this done to me before. “Do you want me to take you over, Katie?”
The word falls too easily from my lips. “Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, sir.”
He’s so soft-spoken, but I hear the Dom in his voice. The man who wants to be respected. To get obedience.
“You’re so hot.” He’s on his knees, breathing hard against my thighs. Fuck me. “I’m gonna make sure you’re nice and relaxed for what I have planned next.”
Planned. Next.
Ian’s tongue is all over my slit before I realize my legs are opened and spread on the bed. Fuck. He’s licking my panties, tearing at the lace and silk with his teeth, tongue frisking my clit whenever he feels like it. I try not to think about how vulnerable I feel. Especially with my wetness slipping from me.
I can’t hide how aroused I am.
“Katie…” Ian pulls away my underwear and goes for it, his tongue all over my clit, my slit, inside me. His tongue is deceptively large. If it feels like it packs a punch in my mouth, then it’s downright destructive down there.
It feels so good. His hands are on my hips, pulling me forward against his face. His tongue practically obliterates the last of my worries as I relax into this and anticipate my first climax of the evening.
If I come, I’ll feel so much better.
Except Ian is a Dom, and he’s got games to play. When he senses my moans, my shaking thighs, he kisses my navel and makes his way back up to my mouth. Sure enough, he kisses me, and I taste myself on his tongue.
I taste good.
“Stay spread.” A part of me hopes he’ll fuck me with that cock of his, like this, with my legs wide open on the edge of his bed. I’ll let him call me whatever he likes if he does that. “You like this?”
His fingers aren’t his cock, but fuck, I’ll take ‘em. “Yes, sir,” I whisper, one arm hooking around his strong shoulders as two of his fingers slip into me.
“You’re so warm and tight.” His fingers curl inside me. Twist. Search for something to bring me to the edge of orgasm. “And wet. You get wetter than any woman I’ve known, Katie.”
I don’t tell him, but this intimate moment alone is one of the greatest of my life. I wrap my hand around his wrist, gently, my eyes locking with his. “Can I come? Please?”
“We’ll see.” His movements slow. I don’t care. He’s still inside of me, and that’s all that matters right now. “I like it when you ask for things. You should be polite to me. The nicer you are, the more likely I am to give you what you want.”
Good to know.
“What do you want, Katie? Do you want me to fuck you with my fingers?”
“Yes, sir.”
Ian’s fingers thrust into me. I gasp, eyes closing and rolling into the back of my head. “All right.”
He fucks me.
Shit, I can’t describe it past that. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, and I don’t know why. My toes are curling over the side of his bed, his fingers filling me, tighter, harder, twisting inside and stroking my G-spot. One arm is flung around his shoulders while the other holds me up on his bed. My breasts are popping out of my bra, Ian’s mouth finding them so quickly that I almost don’t see my own nipple before it’s between his lips. The man isn’t even touching my clit, and I feel like I could come.
“Please, sir. Please let me come.”
I don’t recognize my voice. Who is this quiet woman?
A groan against my breast has got me so unhinged that I release half my arousal all over this man’s hand. He chuckles. “You like being fingered, my darling?”
My darling. “Uh huh…”
He smacks the inside of my thigh before shoving his fingers into my easy gap. “Be polite.”
“Yes, sir…”
I’m losing consciousness. I want to come so badly that my hips thrust against his hand.
He pulls out.
“Now, now.” Ian wipes his wet hand all over my leg, my breasts. “I didn’t say you could do that. You need to wait for my command.”
His lips suck my throat. I’m pushed down onto the bed, him on top of me, my legs flinging into the air.
Take it out, Ian. Take out your cock and fuck me.
Just as quickly as this begins, Ian rolls off and points to the pillow.
“Up there.”
My legs are shaking as I pull myself to the head of the bed. Ian walks around the edge, opening a drawer and pulling out what I’ve been wondering about for a while now.
Handcuffs.
Black silk.
I know what’s coming, but I’m denying it for my own sanity.
Pink. I can say it. I keep that power locked within me.
“Tell me what you want, Katie.” Ian goes through a few scraps of black silk, holding this one up to the light and that one against my bare skin. “What turns you on the most right now? What position are you begging for?”
He sounds like he’s negotiating with me. “I don’t care, sir. I just want you to…”
Ian raises an eyebrow. “Go on.”
“I want you to fuck me. With your cock. Please.”
The handcuffs land beside me. They sound so heavy. “Last two times I did that, I took you against a wall.” Before I can say uncle, one of my wrists is handcuffed to the bed. Have I mentioned that I’m on my stomach? I feel so vulnerable that I want to cry. This is happening so fast. “In fact, I haven’t had non-wall sex with a woman in a good while. I can’t wait to take you.”
He snatches my other wrist and makes it join the first.
“Well, well.” Ian’s fingers start at my neck and then travel down my back, following the curve of my spine before ending at my ass. My wet ass, since that’s how aroused I am.
I kinda hate it.
“You are the hottest woman I’ve ever seen.” I don’t know if he’s telling the truth, and I don’t care. It makes me feel better. “I’m going to take you, Katie. I’m going to take your body and send your mind to oblivion.” He squeezes my French twist. I don’t know why he likes my hair up so much.
Then he pulls it out of its hold, my long hair falling over my face, down my back. It covers his hand as he caresses my flesh.
Ian lifts the blindfold.
“Wait…”
“Hm?” He sits next to me, his weight making the bed sink and my body slightly roll left. “Problem? Tell me what’s on your mind.”
I don’t know where to begin. Partly because he’s wrapping the silk around my eyes, cutting me off from the world. “I don’t know…”
“I’m not going to gag you. You’ll have every bit of power to say your safe word. But I want to do this.”
“Okay.”
Suddenly his breath is in my ear. “Good.” And now his hand is on my ass.
Firm.
Menacing.
Adrenaline pumps through me. Oh God. Oh fuck. Please take mercy on me.
I’ve never been spanked before.
I yelp when he does nothing more than tap my ass. You’d think he whacked me with a fucking flogger.
“Shh.” He kisses my shoulder, nibbling my bra strap again. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Why are you spanking me?”
I know I’m being insubordinate. I can’t help it. I need to know.
“You need to be broken in, Katie. You need to have your mindset changed, still. I’m not giving you release until I feel you’re actually in a sub’s headspace.”
I don’t say anything.
“You’ve always tried to take power.” He smacks my ass, gently, but enough to make me jerk up and yank on my handcuffs. I wish I could see the look on his face, what his hand is doing. Instead, I get another tap on my other cheek. “I don’t blame you. A woman in your position… it must be difficult.”
He spanks me harder. I gasp, a whimper underlying my voice.
“Now you’re going to let go of that control. You’re going to take every sting people have tried to throw your way and you so justly brushed off. You have to, Kathryn. You have to accept the sting.”
Ow!
Ow!
He spanked me so hard that I shrieked into the pillow!
The sting, as he calls it, takes over my body. It’s all I can fucking feel, especially when he whacks me again, my flesh rippling beneath his touch and… and… so numb. So sore. My legs shoot up and I instinctively try to roll away from his hurting touch. But I can’t. The handcuffs prevent me from using my body as it should be used.
Instead, he’s using it.
“Do you feel that?” Ian’s voice is caustic, angry. “Do you feel how much it hurts?”
“Yes!” I flinch the next time he spanks me.
“Do you feel how much it pleases you?”
I can feel it. Yes. Deep beneath the sting, beneath the pain, is excitement. Ian’s brash love has me shuddering, not in fear, but in pleasure. Pleasure. A Dom is spanking me, and I’m… I like it.
Especially when his fingers occasionally dip inside of me, fucking me tenderly until he pulls out and spanks me again.
Oh, fuck. Fuck.
At first, I’m ashamed. I hate how much I like this. I’m not supposed to. Not because I’m a good girl, but because I’m supposed to take power in spanking others. I’ve spanked many men – and a few women – in my life. Watching them shudder, begging for sexual mercy, is so exquisite. And now here I am, so confused as to why the roles have been switched.
I don’t do this.
I don’t submit!
“Tell me you like it, Katie. Tell me you like the pain.”
Blood hits my lips. I didn’t realize I had been chomping on them. “I do…” It hurts so much, and yet I can’t bring myself to say the safe word. I want more. More.
I want my ass to burn in pain. I want to feel every sting the world has ever flung at me. In this safe, controlled environment.
I had no idea this was therapy.
“Please! Another!’
The words are out of my mouth. I can’t control them. I want that sting. I want that crippling pain. I want it infused into my blood, to feel his hand hurt me.
I could make this stop, but I don’t want to!
I want him to make me bleed!
Only Ian. Only Ian could do this to me. I don’t know how I let him into my head so quickly, but he’s doing it. He’s turning me into a sub.
I’m so scared and yet so excited.
Give in, Kathryn.
Give in to that side of you that he wants to see. The one that turns him on and makes him fuck you until you can’t even see the stars in the sky.
Although my eyes see darkness, I feel a burning red. It’s my blood boiling. Fighting back the pain. Accepting this cruel punishment for daring to outrun my fears for so long. At some point they had to catch up to me. Now here they are, manifested in a Dom’s hand.
I love it.
“One more, sir,” I whisper. “Please, Ian, one more.”
“And then what?” I can feel his hand hovering above my ass.
My lip is bleeding into his pillow. “And then fuck me, sir!”
“I’m not going to just fuck you, Kathryn.” His fingers graze my ass, reminding me what this is for. “I’m going to tear you apart until you fall so far down off your high horse that you can’t imagine ever climbing back up again. You are my possession now. I own you.”
Smack!
It’s white now. Not darkness. The blindfold may bring shadows, but I see hot, white lights as he hits me so hard that my body aches. Burns. Aches for any touch he’s willing to give.
My ass barely has time to numb before I feel Ian behind me, settling in between my legs. His legs are bare. When did he undress?
Shit, his skin feels so good against mine. Even through the pain, my thighs become wetter. I’m ready.
Do it, Ian. Fuck it all out of me.
Pull my hair. Bite my neck. Fill me with your cock and get your own fill of my body wrapped around yours. I’m yours. I’m yours!
“You don’t know what you do to me, Katie.” His cock is hard again. He’s grinding it against my leg, letting me feel his stiff length. I want it. I want it inside of me, even in this position. “Ever since we started this game a few weeks ago, I can’t stop thinking about you. I want you every way imaginable. I want to share everything I know with you.”
His voice is so warm in my ear. My skin stings, but I’m so comforted that I don’t care what he does.
“There’s a whole worl
d out there that you don’t even know about. The world inside of your own head. Embrace it, my darling. Open yourself, to me, to that voice inside your head I know you can hear.”
How does he know?
His cock moves from my leg to my spread, wet opening. It takes all of two seconds for me to realize what he’s about to do.
“Wait!” My face is up, my arms yanking on my chains. “Pink. Pink!”
Ian stops. “What?” He’s growling, his fingers digging into my tender flesh as he’s poised to drive his cock into me.
Don’t get me wrong. I want that. I want to feel his girth split me in two like this. I want to give myself over, but…
“Condom.”
I don’t hear anything for a while. Then, “No condom.”
“But…”
“I know why you want a condom, but there’s no practical reason. We’re both clean. You have an IUD.” He sounds so… frustrated. He was ready to claim me. Yes, that’s what I’m afraid of… “You come into my bedroom, asking me to dominate you, and you don’t think I’m going to come inside you?”
I open my mouth to speak.
“That’s not how it works. You’re here. You’re mine. I am going to make sure you know that you’re mine.”
I’ve never heard him like this before. I’m scared. Anxious.
So fucking turned on. Almost to the point of losing reason. Almost.
“If you don’t feel me so deep inside of you like that… there’s no point to any of this. You need to let go of every inhibition.”
He’s right.
But I’m not ready.
“Please… Ian.” Do I sound pathetic enough?
“You know what? It’s fine, baby.” I hate it when men call me that. And yet I don’t hate him right now. He strokes my head, feeling my hair between his fingers. “You can say no. I won’t force you. You can trust me.”
I heave a sigh of relief.
“But you will need to leave.”
“What?”
“You have your limits? So do I. You’re not the only one who gets to set some rules around here. We have a conflict of interest. You want a condom, and I don’t. Sorry. It’s a deal breaker right now.”
I can’t believe this!