Finding Us

by Allie Juliette Mousseau

  “You’re going to make him know what it feels like be a man who’s loved while you prove to him you’re the only woman for the job,” Piper said.

  After thoroughly ransacking the clothes I’d packed, Livie and Piper had decided I owned nothing sexy enough to do the trick and were now lugging me from store to store in the mall to find the perfect outfit. Well, Piper was lugging me. I was carrying Livie around on Piper’s tablet.

  “No more sappy love songs!” Livie ordered. “You need power-bitch-get the-guy songs.”

  “Definitely!” Piper agreed.

  “And I have been making a Spotify playlist just for you … I’m sharing it now.” Livie made a big deal about hitting the enter button. “The rule is you are only allowed to listen to these songs until the big dance at The Buckle tonight, got it?”

  “Got it,” I said.

  “PERFECT!” Piper grabbed my arm.

  “Frederick’s of Hollywood?” My voice rose an octave. I was a serious girly girl; I loved to shop, owned almost the same number of shoes as I did books, adored jewelry and wore dresses a lot, but one thing I wasn’t accustomed to was showing a lot of skin. Call it modesty, call it shyness, it wasn’t about religion or anything, I was just not an … exhibitionist.

  “Oh yeah, this section is called “High Voltage!” Piper led the way. “Point the screen over here,” she instructed, so I did and they went about raking through the hangers without any assistance from me.

  They made me laugh though. If they weren’t so damn wonderful, I would have been out of there in a heartbeat.

  “Not the blue one,” Livie was saying.

  “The pink babydoll one is sexy and cut out at the sides.” Piper showed Livie the dress.

  It was sweet and sexy. I kind of liked it.

  “No. We need to think Nate,” Livie said.

  “Then that would be to think black,” I said.

  “Yeah!” Livie agreed.

  Piper moved through the racks while I still held Livie on the tablet.

  “Mmm, how about this one?” Piper held up the hanger.

  “Oh my God, that’s perfect!”

  “It’s a shirt!” I protested.

  “It’s sexy!” they said in unison.

  “I’m not wearing that!”

  “Girl, them are fightin’ clothes.” Piper thrust the hanger at me and held out her other hand to take Livie. “Put it on.”

  “Play the list now, she has to get brave!” Livie urged. “Jules this is your theme song from now on. Ready?”

  As if they were going to give me a choice.

  “Wanted” by Jessie James started up, and Piper gave me a shove into the dressing room and swiped the curtain closed.

  “Now this is good stripper music, so practice while you’re in there,” Piper ordered, and Livie and I crowed with laughter.

  Ironically, I found myself doing it. The song was hot. I peeled my shirt over my head and spun it around while I twirled my hips to the beat.

  Every girl should have friends who make her feel so sexy! For added effect, I held my pretty pink bra outside the curtain and flung it at them.

  “Tease!” Piper accused.

  Down came my pants. “I get it. Make him forget every other girl he’s ever had, show him he’s the only one I want and be so sexy and make him want me so badly that he won’t be able to resist.” I shimmied into the sexy little black dress and turned around to look in the mirror.

  Wow! Was that really me?

  The slinky, silky black dress was built like a barely cover your ass, body curve hugging t-shirt that was cut at both shoulders to expose them and allow the fabric to fall around the upper arm. At the front, right over the bust, was a huge cut that stretched from under my arm and across my cleavage to the other arm like a sexy viewing window. A strip of sheer black fabric connected the sides over my collarbone.

  Livie put “Wanted” on repeat.

  “WAIT!” Piper startled me. “What’s your shoe size?”

  “Eight.”

  A minute later she handed a saucy pair of red high heels through the curtain. I slipped them onto my bare feet and studied myself in the mirror. What would Natalia Morris do with her characters? What would her heroine Lia do right now? I knew. I curled my leg out and around the dressing room curtain. Piper and Livie howled so loud I thought we might get kicked out.

  I made my big debut.

  “Holy hot fuck!” Piper’s mouth dropped open and so did Livie’s.

  “You’re so going to kill my brother tonight.”

  We all laughed.

  “Okay, remember, this isn’t anything like when we went to Wild’s. That mission was totally different. We were simply trying to get them to notice us and let the chips fall where they may. Tonight your objective is to conquer and capture his heart, whatever the cost,” Livie instructed.

  “If you’re trying to make me feel stronger you’re failing hard because you’re freaking me the fuck out!” I almost yelled.

  “Feel the freak, breathe it in, then let it go.” Piper demonstrated by closing her eyes and breathing calmly through her nose.

  I was anything but calm!

  It was just nine o’clock and we were standing outside of The Buckle. Nate’s and Caleb’s trucks were parked outside, and you could hear the music each time someone opened the door. I was shaking and trying not to show it. The butterflies had made a trail, flying a circuit from my stomach, through my heart, up my arms, through my head and back to my stomach. Everything was tingling.

  The parking lot was packed. If I crashed and burned it would feel like it was in front of the whole world.

  “Maybe I should wait until I can be alone with him,” I wondered aloud.

  “Yeah, ’cause that’s worked so well all these years,” Piper quipped.

  The only thing I could think of was all the beautiful girls I’d have to compete with, everyone staring at me as if I were a freak, stumbling on these spiked heels, and the worst thing, Nate telling me he didn’t feel the same way I did. A fantasy was better than nothing, right?

  “I can’t do this!” I started to panic and turn around. Piper put a quick hand on my arm.

  “This is your rodeo, girlfriend, and it’s the final round,” Piper said. “And no matter what happens you’ll have your answer.”

  “Take a few more minutes. Listen to ‘Wanted’ then go in there and have fun,” Livie said from the tablet. We’d hung up after the store, then called her again while Piper curled my hair and I did my makeup.

  “This is it, right?” I resolved.

  “Right, and remember Pink’s song anytime you feel self-conscious; you are ‘Fucking Perfect.’ I love you, Jules.”

  “I love you, Liv.”

  We hung up.

  Piper and I looked at each other. “I have your cowboy boots in my bag, for when you’re ready for some line dancing,” she mused. “Or in case you twist your ankle.”

  “Thanks.” I faced the door and stood next to her. The warm July night was balmy.

  The door swung open fast, startling me, and a couple came outside, laughing loud. The guy had his arm wrapped around his girl’s shoulders and they looked so in love … or at least in lust.

  In that moment it was like a switch flipped. I felt powerful and had the sweet revelation that this had been a long time coming. I wasn’t going to keep living like this. No fucking way! I wanted a boy to hold my hand and wrap his arms around me. I wanted to know what a kiss really tasted like.

  “Nathaniel Morrisey, you have a choice tonight,” I said out loud. “It’s do or die so you better choose carefully, boy.”

  Piper nodded next to me. “Let’s kick down those walls.” She walked forward and pushed open the heavy wood door. With that, I entered the next chapter of my own story.

  Chapter 7

  “I’m Gonna Getcha Good!”

  Shania Twain

  I watched as my foot, cradled in red leather and shaped by the heel, took that fated step up through the do
or. Damn, that foot looked sexy and ready for anything. If I really loved Nate, which I did, then nothing was going to stop me tonight. I was going for gold.

  Piper and I showed our tickets to the bouncer, who smiled more than kindly at the two of us.

  “Thank you,” Piper purred, and the guy looked like he might melt. She turned on her heel and we escaped into the ladies’ room while the band was in the middle of Florida Georgia Line’s “Round Here.”

  “Oh my God! We’re this far in!” I felt exactly what Nate had described when he talked about getting on the bull. The adrenaline, which had felt like an explosive to my nerves outside, had now become an un-stifling excitement that had me craving action!

  “I’m taking a pit stop here,” Piper said while she straightened my hair.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I’m staying here and you’re going to make your debut performance.” Piper sat on the sofa in the powder area. “I’ll be behind you soon enough, but this is all you, Jules. You’re going to walk into the place like you own it, you understand me, like you fucking own it!”

  I nodded resolutely and clenched my jaw in defiance of any fear that might try to seep in.

  “I called Caleb already. Their table is at two o’clock with the stage and dance floor being noon, so you know exactly where you’re going,” she explained.

  “What if he’s with another girl?”

  “Take him back.”

  I stood in the threshold of the immense club, which was all country. Wooden farm fences surrounded the massive hardwood dance floor; the ceiling was fixed with stage lighting over the dance floor and dark space with bright little lights to look like stars; western murals decorated the walls. Two mechanical bulls were situated on each side of the room. The place was huge, with people everywhere, one thousand easy. Two upper floors held pool and gaming tables.

  One step at a time, Jules. You own the fucking place.

  “Shoulders back, show the rack,” I said to myself, repeating Livie.

  I stepped to the beat of the band jamming out to a cover of “Ready Set Roll” by Chase Rice. I couldn’t help notice the looks from the men that twisted their heads as I walked by. Those butterflies started tumbling again as several gave me a sexy “Hello.”

  I bit my lip and blushed, working to keep myself steady and remembering that I was a hot torpedo about to hit my target hard.

  My legs and heart stopped as I got closer. There were several girls sitting around the dark wood table. Nate was standing, drinking a beer while leaning on the wooden fence, and he looked like he was in his element. He was talking to a blonde who was sitting at what I’d been told was our table. Ryan, Charlie and Travis were talking to a couple of girls on their side, but it looked like maybe the girls had been sitting at the table next to them, ’cause their chairs had been turned around and had obviously come from that table. Griffin was talking to Caleb, who kept looking around, probably wondering what was holding up Piper, who I was hoping would be right behind me soon.

  You own the fucking place. YOU OWN THE FUCKING PLACE! TAKE HIM BACK!

  Swallow the fear. I propelled myself forward.

  I caught Nate’s attention first. His gaze started at my feet, lifted up my smooth legs to the hemline of my very tiny dress and over my breasts till he reached my eyes, searing me. For a moment he looked straight through me like he almost didn’t recognize me, then his beer bottle hit the floor.

  “God damn!” Ryan stood up from his chair, his eyes disbelieving, glued on me like he wasn’t sure. “Julia?” He sounded astonished.

  “Howdy boys,” I drawled, standing and tilting my head like Piper instructed.

  Nate’s mouth dropped open.

  “Holy shit, Jules!” my cousin Charlie cussed. “Are you allowed to dress like that?”

  “There aren’t any rules, idiot,” Piper deadpanned, coming up behind me. “Hi, babe,” she said, kissing Caleb solidly on the lips before she sat next to him.

  “Too much condensation on that bottle?” I threw at Nate before I walked between him and the girl he was talking to. “Excuse me,” I said to her. I stopped directly in front of Nate, straddling the puddle of spilt beer with my gorgeous shoes and purred, “Must have got hot in here quick.”

  Ryan moved fast to get a chair pulled out for me. “Oh my God, you look incredible!”

  I threw a glance at Caleb, who didn’t look surprised at all. In fact, he looked rather amused.

  “Thank you.” I looked directly at Nate as if he’d given the compliment, while I made sure my body, expression and voice dripped sex. This was so not me, but I had to admit it was kind of fun! I just channeled my inner romance novel heroine.

  “Can I get you a drink?” Ryan stumbled over himself.

  Wrong guy! I wanted to scream.

  So what was my best play now, I wondered? Did I work the jealousy aspect? I could, but I didn’t want to hurt Ryan, he was too sweet.

  I watched Nate as he picked up the bottle and threw cloth napkins down onto the floor, all the while watching me like he was shell-shocked.

  Yeah! I was a bombshell! Take that, Nate.

  “Drinks sound real good.” I casually ran my tongue across my lips; my eyes were still locked with Nate’s. I made sure he knew it was for him.

  “I’ll get it for you,” Ryan put in from behind me. “What would you like?”

  Nate stood up and looked like he was trying to catch his breath before he turned his back to us, hunching over and gripping the wood fence with white knuckles.

  Okay, I wasn’t prepared for that. I quickly looked to Piper for my next move.

  “Awesome!” Piper began. “They serve Jell-O shots! Come with me, we’ll get some.”

  “You just got here,” Ryan practically whined.

  She held out her hand, and I took it gratefully.

  “See you guys in a few,” she said.

  Then I had an idea since I had to walk past Nate again. My heart beat so hard I could feel it as my breath quickened and the blood rushed through the pulse points in my neck, but I was going to do it. Letting go of Piper’s hand, I stopped at Nate’s side. I smelled his cologne and lingering hints of aftershave. He was wearing dark jeans, a black cowboy hat and a tight, fitted black t-shirt that showed his fine muscles and the thickness of his shoulders. I brought my hand up to lie over the black fabric on his shoulder and he turned to face me.

  He was ashen, and I almost lost my nerve, but pushed through.

  “Mmm. I love this shirt on you.” I looked up into his eyes, reached up and pulled his cowboy hat off his head and put it on my own. Then I ran my fingers through his hair to smooth it down and purred, “Save me a dance, cowboy.”

  I turned smoothly and went with Piper toward the bar.

  “Is he looking? Is he?” I begged her and pleaded with unseen benevolent spirits to make it true.

  “Oh, yes he is.”

  We both giggled.

  “Where did you pick up that move? It was sexy as fuck!”

  “Natalia Morris novel,” I admitted.

  “I’m so proud of you!” She hugged my arm. “I knew you had it in you. Let’s celebrate.”

  She stepped to the bar to order and I turned to look back at the table. They had all started talking and, like clockwork, either Nate or Ryan gazed over. I carefully averted my eyes toward the dance floor, ignoring both of them.

  “Strawberry Jell-O shots,” Piper announced as she turned around with a Dixie cup in each hand. “Ready?”

  “Bring it!”

  “1, 2—”

  “3!” We downed the sweet Jell-O.

  “Nice and easy way to get quickly shitfaced,” she said. “Now Caramel Appletinis.”

  She handed me the frosty, Y shaped glass. I took a sip. “Wow, this is so yummy!”

  “Yeah it is.” She scanned the room. “So, who are you going to dance with until Nate smartens up?”

  “He keeps looking over.”

  “If he were smart he�
�d be guarding you.”

  As if on cue a couple gorgeous cowboys sauntered over to us.

  “Hi, ladies,” one of them said with a thick Aussie accent.

  “Oh dear, men with a hot accent.” Piper fanned her face with her hand as if she were a southern belle.

  “Can we interest you ladies in a dance?” the other guy asked.

  They were blonde haired, blue eyed gods in cowboy hats. A slow Shania Twain song was being played.

  “Sorry, boys, but I’m 100 percent taken. But my friend here isn’t,” she volunteered, gesturing toward me. “I’ll watch your glass, you go have some fun, doll.”

  Before I knew what was happening, I was on the dance floor with James from Sydney.

  Yes, you could talk to me all day, I felt like saying. In fact this guy could read the Farmer’s Almanac and make any girl swoon.

  “Are you riding in the finals?” I asked.

  He easily slipped into talking about the rodeo and I maneuvered him so I could see and gauge Nate’s reaction. The petite blonde he had been talking with was still there talking with the others, but Nate was staring into the space next to the dance floor.

  “You from around here?” James asked.

  “I live in both the U.S. and Canada. Dual citizenship. My parents own a few ranches around the borders,” I told him.

  Nate looked over at us dancing. Damn! I didn’t avert my gaze quick enough and he caught me watching him. Worse, I couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling. Maybe sad? Angry? Nothing? Aargh!!!

  The song ended. “Thanks for the dance, James. It was nice meeting you.”

  “Hey don’t run off. How about a drink?”

  “I have to get back to my party.” I shrugged.

  “Only if you tell me you’ll dance another later?” he insisted.

  “I’ll try.”

  “Try real hard, pretty girl.” He flashed me a brilliant smile.

  I walked back to the bar, where Piper was waiting for me.

  “If Nate doesn’t step up to the plate, you could always have a tale to tell about losing your innocence to a piece of hot thunder from down under.” Piper smacked her lips, handed me my drink and held out a shot glass for me to take in my other hand.