“Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I’m a serial killer and Captain of the swim team. How rude of me.”
She giggles, and as if remembering we’re not completely alone, her head tilts up to Zander. He’s glowering at me. “Zander, this is -”
“I know who he is,” Zander snaps.
“I don’t know how,” I reply smugly. “You’re more familiar with the sight of my ass than you are with my face.”
Hayley starts laughing beside me, cupping her mouth and failing miserably to stifle the noise, and Zander snarls. His eyes dart between Hayley and I, and then stop on her. “It was nice chatting to you, Hayley,” he says stiffly. “Maybe we can grab coffee some time when I’m in town for the next meet.”
“It was nice meeting you, Zander, and good luck,” she replies sweetly.
“Yes, Zander, good luck,” I chime in, mimicking Hayley’s sing-song voice but sounding more like a strangled squirrel instead.
Zander huffs and stalks off.
Pussy.
Everything about that guy sets me off, and in the worst way possible.
I turn back to Hayley and she's looking at me, biting her lip to hide her smile. "What?" I ask, shrugging.
She shakes her head. "Why do I get the feeling that was a pissing contest?"
Smirking, I reply, "He's no competition."
Hayley's about to reply, but she stops herself. Her cheeks turn a shade of red and I immediately want to know what she was about to say. The fact that she's checking me out isn't helping. I know she can see how tight my jammer is, the way it hugs my crotch and my thighs. They don't consist of much fabric, but they're streamlined and help improve my speed in the water. I'm suddenly glad they don't leave much to the imagination.
"So, what are you doing here?" I ask, saving her from her own embarrassing thoughts.
She hesitates, as if to remember why she's here. "Oh, uh, Hannah and I got an assignment for our photojournalism class. She decided we’d take some action shots of the swim team, but it was really just an excuse to see the hot guys in their wet swimming gear."
"And have you seen any hot guys yet?" I ask innocently.
"No," she replies, "The 'talent' is somewhat average. I'm rather disappointed."
My face falls and when Hayley sees my expression she bursts out laughing. "Oh, wow," she breathes, "You're too easy."
I wrap my hand around her biceps and pull her two steps closer to me. "I'll have to change your mind then, won't I?"
She sucks in a breath. "About what?" Her voice comes in a breathy whisper.
"I'm anything but average, sweetheart," I say, looking into her shocking green eyes. They have flecks of honey here and there, and are the most brilliant shade of green.
As if sensing the moment between Hayley and I, Hannah comes bounding up to us. "Hey Cam," she says happily. Her eyes land on Hayley and then shoot back to me. "I didn't know you two knew each other."
Hayley steps back, loosening my grip on her arm, and her gaze moves to Hannah. "We don't," she says, her voice impassive. "We met two weeks ago when Cameron gave me a ride, after my car broke down."
"Oh," Hannah says. "Well we better get going. I think we have enough pictures for the assignment."
Hayley nods and gives me a half-smile. "Bye, Cameron. Good luck with the rest of your races."
"Thanks," I reply.
She turns and starts walking towards the exit, disappearing amongst the spectators and swimmers. Hannah taps my arm and I look back at her.
"What was up with that? I seriously hope you haven't got your eye on her." She sounds just like Noah.
"And what if I do?" I ask.
"Cam," she whines, her eyes doing the puppy dog thing. Too bad it only works on Noah. "I really like her, and the last friend I had who you screwed stopped being my friend."
"Hannah, will you chill? I just want to get to know her."
Hannah's arms fold over her chest. "What about Rachel?" she asks.
"What about her? She's not my girlfriend, Han, and she sure as hell doesn't control or own me."
"Does she know that?"
Lifting a shoulder, I shrug. "I don't give a fuck."
"Well, just don't do anything stupid, like, fuck her and then leave her. Like I said, I like her, and would like to keep her 'round longer than the last girl."
Just then, Noah comes running towards us. "C'mon, Cam, we gotta go."
I nod, smiling at Hannah. She rolls her eyes but smiles back at me. "Okay, boys, go kick some ass and I'll see you boys at the party tonight."
Noah swats her with his towel and she scowls at him, walking away from us. "Bring Hayley!" I yell to her. She flips me off and I chuckle. Noah gives me a look but I disregard it and make my way back to the starting line. Excitement slowly starts coursing through my veins, but for an entirely different reason.
** ** **
The guys burst through the front door of Noah and Hannah’s parents’ house, carrying me on their shoulders after our victorious afternoon at the swim meet. Naturally, I’d like to take all the credit, but admittedly, I have a great team of guys who swim just as hard as they party. And tonight, we’re celebrating, both our win and the start of a new season. The grand sized house is already brimming with people and it’s not even 7 pm yet. The guys put me on my feet and they follow me to the kitchen, people congratulating us as we pass. Noah grabs us glasses, instead of those shitty plastic cups, and pours us each a shot of his father’s whiskey.
“Cheers!” he says, knocking our glasses in salute. We tip the glasses back and down the auburn liquid, which burns my throat.
“Let’s get this party started!” Someone yells from behind us. That’s all the invitation the guys need and soon they’ve joined the crowd inside the living room. My eyes roam the area, searching for a dark head of hair, when Rachel appears in my line of vision. She’s sauntering towards me, her denim mini skirt riding up her fake-tanned legs. Her grin is sultry and as she comes to stand in front of me her hands trail up my arms and down my chest. Her fingers brush against my groin. She means business, that much is obvious.
“Hey baby,” she purrs in my ear. “I missed you this week.”
“Uh, yeah,“ I hesitate, trying to come up with a good excuse for why I’ve been avoiding her. “I’ve been busy, assignments and shit.” The truth is I’m starting to get irritated with this girl. She wants something I’m not prepared to give and, well, let’s face it, I’ve been banging her every which way for over a year. I’m bored. I need a new body to play with, one with dark, rich brown hair and piercing green eyes.
Rachel pouts and she reminds me of a constipated duck. “Too busy for me?” she whines, batting her too long eyelashes. Her hand keeps rubbing my groin and my dick hardens, even if it is involuntary. Poor guy’s probably getting tired of seeing the inside of my palm. I look Rachel up and down, contemplating taking her upstairs and releasing my pent up frustration. Nah. I sigh. I need more alcohol for that.
I step out of Rachel’s grasp. “I’m going to grab a drink and hang with the guys,” I say. “Come find me later.”
Her arms cross over her chest and she huffs, but it doesn’t stop me from walking out on her. If I need her later she’ll still be there. I’m willing to bet my left nut sack on that. Pity, really. Rachel deserves so much more, but she behaves like a whore, so I treat her like one. If that makes me an asshole, then so be it. I’m an asshole, with needs that need satisfying. Green eyes flash in my mind and a twinge of guilt hits me. Hayley would be more than a quick fuck, I think, but do I want that? Fuck me if I know. Right now, the thrill of chasing her and getting her is enough to make me want to try anyway. I shake my head, laughing sadistically at myself. I’m a walking contradiction. I use Rachel to satisfy my needs, but then contemplate some kind of more with Hayley, like actually getting to know her? When I know that she’d be the first girl I attempt ‘getting to know’? Talk about fucked in the head.
After I’ve downed my third cup of warm beer, I find
the guys playing beer pong out on the deck and decide to join the fun. A few hours, and a whole lot more alcohol, my head is swimming. A chorus of “Hey Hannah!” resounds from all around the table and I turn to see Hannah walk outside. I frown.
Hayley isn’t here and I feel my excitement from earlier dissolve quickly. Hannah catches my expression before I’m able to right myself and shrugs. She mouths “She had other plans,” and starts talking to Noah and the guys.
Well that fucking sucks, I think to myself. My whole evening has gone down the shitter.
Oh well, I’ll just keep drinking until I pass out.
I push past the crowd inside the house and grab the whiskey bottle we left in the kitchen. For a brief second I think about my mother, alone at home now that my sister and her husband are back and Jordan is no longer staying with us.
I don’t want to go to that house. I just need to forget, if only for tonight, that I fucked up our happy family.
As if on cue, Rachel finds me again and this time I don’t stop her. I grab her by her neck and pull her to me roughly, slamming my lips onto hers. I break the kiss long enough to take another big swig of whiskey and drag Rachel up the stairs to a guest bedroom. She strips me of my clothes, and then does a little floor routine for me. The only problem is, my mind is completely numb, and so is my body. My dick doesn’t stir. Fuck. It just sits there, flaccid, against my thigh. Staring at me. Mocking me. That’s never happened.
What is up with that?
I fall onto the bed and throw my arm over my eyes in defeat. Rachel crawls over me and starts rubbing my dick. Nothing. Not even a twitch.
“What the fuck, Cam?” Rachel bites out. “If you weren’t getting hard for me you could’ve said so before I stripped for you.”
I lift my arm, spying her straddling my thighs and looking down at my dick angrily. That’s all it takes for me to crack. I burst out laughing, my body shaking until I feel hot liquid spilling from my eyes.
“Fuck you, Cam,” Rachel snaps, grabbing her clothes and getting dressed. “I don’t need this. We’re done!”
Her statement only makes me laugh harder, for whatever reason, and only when I hear the door slam shut, do I notice that my laughter is the empty kind.
Because that’s how I feel.
Empty.
Chapter 6
~ Hayley ~
The warm morning sun seeps through the thin yellow curtains in my room. It caresses my face, heating my skin and touching my eyelids. I roll over, seeking just another thirty minutes of sleep, when I feel little fingers stroking the side of my neck. Ari’s familiar scent hits my nose and I open one eye to peek at her. Her mouth turns up and she blinds me with her smile.
“Good morning, monkey,” I greet, opening both eyes. “How did you get into my bed?”
“Gama,” she replies. Her fingers touch my cheek and I wrap my arms around her body, pulling her closer to me until her head is tucked into the crook of my neck. She curls into me, much like she did when I was pregnant with her, and I can’t stop the onslaught of memories that flood my mind. Like the first time I heard her heartbeat, and when I found out I was having a girl. And the first time I felt her moving around in my belly, pushing her tiny foot up to remind me that I was carrying an actual living, breathing person inside me. The realization was both magical and devastating. I had to experience all those things alone and knowing that I had made that choice made it so much harder.
My fingers stroke Ari’s hair, sliding through her head of soft, brown curls, and I start humming. After a little while she starts humming along with me, until she’s singing the words to ‘You Are My Sunshine’ out loud. It’s moments like this that I wish I could bottle up and save, so that I can revisit them whenever my heart needs some tenderness. Or when I feel like I’m failing my little girl. It’s my reassurance that, despite all of the stupid things I’ve done, I’m still doing something right.
There’s a soft knock on my door and I look up when my grandmother sticks her head through the door. She smiles warmly at the sight of me and Ari, her eyes wrinkling at the sides. Her face is weathered, but she has the heart of a twenty-five year old. Sometimes she feels like more of a mother to me than my biological mother was and in some way we both filled a void in each other. My grandfather died a year before I moved here and I guess my sudden arrival helped ease my grandmother’s loneliness. But it was the arrival of my darling, Ari that seems to have given my grandmother’s soul the healing that it needed.
“There’s someone at the door for you, sweetheart,” she says quietly. “You’d better hurry.”
I frown. Who would be here at 8 am on a Saturday morning? The door closes and I slide out of bed, lifting Ari onto my hip. I walk downstairs and come to a standstill when I see Taylor standing in the entryway. There are two bags on the floor next to her and Macy is clinging to her, her little face red and blotchy, stained with tears. Her uniform is rumpled, her hair thrown into a bun haphazardly on top of her head. When my eyes land on Taylor’s face I suck in a breath. Her lip is swollen, a drop of dried blood on the side, and her eye is swelling shut. A bruise is starting to form where her eye puffs up and on her cheekbone.
“Oh my God,” I breathe, taking a step closer to her. Her lip starts trembling. “What happened?”
She sniffles, saying, “It’s Jace. H-h-he showed up a-a-and he was d-drunk.”
I look at my grandmother. “Take the girls into the kitchen, please, Gama, and make them some pancakes for breakfast?” I ask. She nods, not asking questions, and instead of reaching for Ari, she reaches for an obviously terrified Macy.
“C’mon, baby girl, I’m not going to hurt you,” she soothes, her gentle voice calming. “I bet you’d like some pancakes, huh?”
Macy looks up at Taylor and she nods. “It’s okay, Macy. Momma will be right here, okay?”
Taylor hands Macy over and I put Ari on her feet, watching as she follows my grandmother and Macy into the kitchen. I lead Taylor over to the sofa and motion for her to sit down. “I’ll be right back,” I tell her. I walk to the guest bathroom that’s downstairs and open the medicine cabinet. When I find the first-aid kit, I make my way back to the living room and take a seat next to Taylor. Without saying anything, I go about cleaning her face, tending to the small cut on her lip and then the one above her eye, which I missed earlier. She hisses but sits still until I’m done. I hear the girls giggling in the kitchen and the sound somehow helps both me and Taylor to relax.
“You want to tell me what happened?” I ask gently. Taylor swallows hard, her eyes glazing over with tears. I slip my hand into hers and give it a reassuring squeeze.
“You can tell me,” I reassure her.
“I don’t even know where to begin,” she says. Her voice is soft and shaky. “It all happened so quickly.”
I don’t say anything. I wait for her to gather her thoughts and piece herself back together.
“I decided to pick up an extra shift,” Taylor continues. “And I got a sitter for Macy. I got in about an hour ago and Jace showed up soon after the sitter left. He was so drunk. When he started yelling I was worried that he’d wake Macy, but after he threw the first punch I didn’t care. He accused me of cheating on him when we were married and he said Macy isn’t his,” her chest moves with her sharp intake of breath and tears start sliding down her face. But she finds it in herself to continue, I see the resolve in her eyes. “It’s a good thing my daddy taught me how to defend myself before he died,” she laughs sadistically. “I just wasn’t expecting to have to defend myself against my soon-to-be ex husband. I knocked him out with a lamp and grabbed Macy, along with everything that could fit into those bags. And I’m sorry to just show up, but I had nowhere else to go, and I needed to get Macy away from him.”
My arms wrap around Taylor’s shoulders and I feel her sobs. They travel from her body, into mine, and I feel her anguish and heartache as if it were my own. “I’m glad you came here,” I tell her. “You and Macy can take the guest bedr
oom downstairs and stay as long as you need to.”
“Thank you so much, Hayley. I promise we won’t get in your way.”
“You can make yourself at home and I’ll go check on the girls.”
Taylor nods. “I think I’m going to shower and then Macy and I will get some sleep.”
Taylor picks up her bags and I show her to the guest bedroom before heading to the kitchen. Macy and Ari are munching away on pancakes and I take the opportunity to pull my grandmother aside.
“Is your friend alright, sweetheart?” my grandmother asks. Worry lines her face.
“I’m not sure,” I reply honestly. “But I think she will be. Is it okay if she stays here for a little while?”
“Of course, sweetheart. They are welcome anytime.”
I smile, grateful for grandmother’s hospitality. I kiss her on the cheek and say, “Thank you.”
After Taylor and Macy get a few hours of sleep, we sit outside by the swimming pool and enjoy the summer heat. I watch as Taylor plays with and Ari and Macy in the pool and let my thoughts wander back to the swim meet yesterday. More specifically, to Cameron. Hannah invited me to their party last night but after the week I had I wanted nothing more than to relax and spend an evening at home with Ari. A small part of me can’t help but admit that I was avoiding Cameron. As much as I wanted to see him again last night I decided against it. He’s trouble.
Taylor’s voice breaks through my thoughts. “What you thinking about so hard over there?”
“Nothing,” I say.
Taylor helps Macy and Ari out of the pool and takes them inside. She reappears a few minutes later, two tall glasses of sweet tea in her hands. She takes a seat on the lounger next to mine and passes me a glass, all the while her eyes bore into my face.
“What?” I ask. My lips meet the cool glass and the tasty liquid refreshes my mouth, traveling all the way down into my belly. It’s a welcome reprieve from the sweltering mid-August temperatures.
“What’s his name?”
“What makes you think it’s a guy?”
Taylor’s eyebrow rises and she smirks. “I may be blonde, but I’m not stupid. I know when a girl is thinking about a guy.”
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