Having had enough of this conversation, I turn my back on them and walk out the diner quickly, fumbling with my keys when I get to my car. Hannah is leaning against the back passenger door, holding Ari.
“Hayley!” I don’t need to turn around to know its Cameron. I could be a deaf mute and still know that voice. Without looking at Hannah, I ask her to get Ari into her car seat. I keep my back to Cameron, hoping he’ll get the hint that I don’t want to talk.
“You lied to me,” he says angrily. “You told me Ari’s father wasn’t in the picture. Why?” He’s talking about Kyle, which I find odd considering what he’s just found out about my past.
I spin around and my words come out rushed, thick with indignation. “I told you he wasn’t in the picture, and he isn’t.”
“You didn’t tell me he has no fucking idea that she even exists!” he snaps.
I step closer, until his heaving chest brushes against mine. “It was never about you. It was about Ari, and protecting het from my past, and my mistakes. I wish I could tell you that I regret not telling you, but I don’t. And what does it matter to you now anyway? You’ve clearly moved on.”
Cameron’s jaw does that ticking thing again and he knits his brows in what I can only interpret as confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“You and Rachel. She told me you started calling her after your dad died, which is why you never responded to my calls or texts.”
Cameron’s face twists as rage creeps across his stoic features. “She said what?”
I sigh. “I’m tired Cameron, and I need to get Ari home. I really think you need to talk to Rachel about this.”
“But I’m asking you, Buttercup.” Cameron recognizes his mistake, calling me Buttercup, but his tone is soft and takes on a hint of that caressing quality that still makes my insides go all gooey.
“Why is it so important?”
“Because I fucking miss you, and I’m trying to figure all this shit out. I wanted to talk to you after dad’s memorial service, but you couldn’t get away from me fast enough.”
“I miss you too,” I whisper, looking down. “But I can’t do this right now, Cam. Please. I’ve had as much as I can handle for one night.”
Cameron’s hand comes up, as if to touch me, but he thinks better of it. It feels too awkward with him, too unnatural after everything that has transpired between us. His shoulders sag and he rubs his nape. “Okay.”
Our eyes stay locked for a second, and it’s long enough for me to catch the silent hope that sparks in the depths of his irises. He backs away so that I can get into my car. Hannah is in the passenger seat and by now I know it means wherever I’m going, she’s going too. I look out my window one last time, and see that Cameron has already disappeared. I start the car and pull out of the parking lot, heading home, even though Ari and I haven’t eaten yet. But all I’m thinking about is what’s going through Cameron’s mind after finding out about my history, and if it would stop him from giving us another try. Do I want us to try again?
* * *
I stir from my restless sleep and hear Ari’s giggles travel up the stairs. “Should we wake your mommy up?” I hear Hannah ask. She opens my door, and peeks inside.
“Wake up, mommy!” Ari chimes. Hannah tosses her onto the bed and she laughs as she crawls over to me. I sit up and Ari falls into my lap.
“Has aunty Hannah been giving you sugar all morning?” I tease, tickling Ari’s ribs gently. She wiggles around and flops onto her side. Hannah takes a seat on the edge of my bed. “I made waffles for breakfast,” she says, watching Ari and me with an amused expression.
“Ah,” I laugh. “That explains it.”
Hannah clears her throat. “Are you okay? After last night?”
“I think so,” I reply honestly. “It’s strange, because I feel relieved now that Cameron knows.”
“What are you going to do now that Kyle knows?”
I sigh. “Nothing. I don’t want anything from him, and I don’t expect him to ‘claim’ Ari. If he wants to be part of her life, I have no right to stop him.”
Hannah rests her chin in her palm. “Last night was a catastrophe.”
“What were you guys doing there anyway?” I ask curiously.
“We planned a party for Cameron’s birthday in a weeks time, but he cancelled it and decided he didn’t want to celebrate his birthday this year. Somehow Noah convinced him to at least do something and he agreed to having dinner at the diner.”
I hesitate before asking, “And Rachel really wasn’t invited?”
Hannah shakes her head. “Hell no! And neither was Psycho Barbie. They invited themselves and I don’t think Cameron cared enough to say no. Rachel has been bugging Cam a lot, though. She hasn’t stopped calling him. I know it’s been driving him nuts.”
“Wait, what? Rachel has been calling Cam?”
“Yes! Like non-stop, on-the-verge-of-stalking. Why?”
“Rachel told me he called her, after his dad died.”
Hannah’s manicured brows furrow. “That lying bitch! I knew she was up to something!”
I contemplate telling Hannah about Rachel’s threat. It’s not like she can follow through with it anymore. “She threatened me,” I blurt out. “When we were at the memorial service. She cornered me in the bathroom afterwards and threatened to tell Cameron about the video if I didn’t leave him alone.”
“What?” Hannah half yells, her eyes bulging out of their sockets. Her face reddens. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
I shrug, feeling foolish. “Because I was hurting, okay? I thought if I kept quiet I would be able to forget it ever happened and move on from Cameron.”
“You know,” Hannah sighs. “For a smart girl, you’re really quite stupid, Hayley.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask, disgruntled.
“We both know moving on from Cameron isn’t a possibility. You’re in love with him.”
My mouth opens, a denial formed on the edge of my tongue. Only, I can’t deny it. “He doesn’t feel the same way,” I say quietly. “So it doesn’t matter, anyway.”
“That’s complete rubbish and we both know it. That boy is not only smitten with you, but with your daughter too.”
“Then why did he tell me to leave the day his dad died? And why has he ignored all my texts and calls?” I mentally kick myself in the stomach for sounding so pathetic. I’m whining, like the clingy girls I used to make fun of.
Hannah’s face softens and she rests her hand on my knee. “He needed time, Hayley. He was so full of anger and guilt over the death of his dad and he pushed you away top protect you.”
“Protect me?”
“Yes.”
“Then why was he with Rachel?”
“She only wanted you to think he was with her, because she’s a jealous psycho stalker bi…” her words trail off when she remembers that Ari is still here and is at the stage where she repeats everything she hears. “I know for a fact that he wasn’t with her, because Noah stayed with him after his dad died, and aside from drinking himself stupid at home, he didn’t go anywhere or see anyone.”
I cover my face with a groan. What a mess. I feel stupid for believing Rachel, but even more so for not listening to Cameron when he wanted to talk to me weeks ago.
I’m about to tell Hannah as much when we hear a knock at the door. I listen as my grandmother opens the door.
“You have some nerve showing up here,” she says to whoever is at the door. At first I think it’s Cameron, but I know Gama will never speak to him that way. She likes him too much. Frowning, I slip my robe over my shoulders and head for the stairs, curios to know who my grandmother is snapping at. Hannah picks Ari up and follows behind me. When I see Kyle standing in the entryway, my step falters and I almost trip my way down the rest of the stairs.
“Please,” he begs, “I just need to talk to her, Mrs. Tanner.” He looks ruffled, like he hasn’t slept.
“Kyle?” His head whips up at
the sound of my voice. “What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk,” he says, taking a tentative step forward, cautious of my grandmother. She might look old, and sweet, but she won’t hesitate to pull out a shotgun and send Kyle running for the hills if she thinks it’s necessary.
“It’s ok, Gama, I’ve got this.” I smile weakly at her and I can see she doesn’t believe me.
Hannah walks past me, and whispers into my ear. “We’ll be in the kitchen, but yell if you need anything.” She follows my grandmother into the kitchen, leaving me alone with Kyle.
The silence is awkward, and Kyle shuffles from foot-to-foot. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks forcefully, unable to keep his cool. “That you fell pregnant after we…”
I think about making this easier for him, considering I did drop a bomb on him last night, but choose not to. He doesn’t deserve it.
“Because I didn’t want you to treat her the same way you treated me, Kyle. You would’ve denied that she was yours, the same way you denied that it was you in that video and let me take the fall.”
“But I deserved to know!” he snaps. “Don’t you think I had the right to know I fathered a child?”
“No,” I reply harshly. “You didn’t. You lost that right the minute you’re turned against me, knowing how humiliated and ashamed I was after that video came out. You turned your back on me when I asked you for help, and I will be damned if I’d let you do that to my child too.”
He sticks his fingers through his hair harshly, tugging it. “Hayley,” he hesitates for a beat. “I was young, and stupid, and you deserved so much better than how I treated you. I’m sorry for that, really, I am, but I’m not ready for this.”
My eyes fixate on Kyle’s face, and for the first time I feel something akin to hatred towards another human being. The irony that it’s towards the father of my child doesn’t escape me.
I fold my arms across my chest and lift my chin. “I haven’t asked you for anything Kyle, and I have no intention of starting now.”
Incredulity flashes across his face. “So, you’re not expecting me to stick around?”
His expression is hopeful and a small part of me crumbles inside, the part that thought there was a tiny chance he’d want to know Ari. But I know better. Kyle was never the type of person to think of anyone but himself and I’m naive to think otherwise. Can I blame him when I’ve kept Ari from him for so long? I don’t know, but even now that he knows about her, he still wants to run. Which is the reason I never told him in the first place.
I brace myself, already feeling the hurt of the words I’m about to say out loud. “No, I don’t. I never expected you to, but I thought maybe you’d changed, and that you were no longer the selfish jerk you always were.”
“Hayley - ”
My hand comes up and Kyle’s mouth shuts. “You don’t deserve to know her,” I say. “I’m not even sure I deserve her, but for some reason God chose me, Ari chose me, and until a man worthy enough comes along to be there for every moment in her life, I will love her enough for both of us. We don’t need you, Kyle. We never have.”
I open the door and wait for Kyle to leave. He stops in front of me. “For what it’s worth, I really am sorry, Hayley, and you’re twice the person I will ever be.”
I close the door, and slide down until I’m on the floor. A few tears escape, but I wipe them away quickly before I have to walk into the kitchen. The last twelve hours swirl around in my head, and press down on my chest. Squeezing my eyes closed, I take a deep, calming breath.
I’ve been let down by the people closest to me more times than I can count, but I won’t be one of those people on Ari’s list.
Chapter 20
~ Cameron ~
I stop my truck next to the curb outside Hayley’s grandmother’s house and cut the ignition. I sit there for a good ten minutes, thinking about what it is that I want to say to Hayley. I know I need to apologize because I treated her poorly after my father died, but I’m still reeling after what happened at the diner last night. I can’t even imagine how she must be feeling. I woke up this morning and made the decision to drive over here, whether she wanted to see me or not, so that we could talk. I have no idea where to go from here, or if we even have a place to go, but if I don’t at least try talk to her, I will never know what could be. The truth is, Hayley has consumed me, and thinking about her has helped me through the last few weeks, helping me cope and deal with not only my father’s death but with my guilt, too. I thought I was doing the right thing by pushing her away, because she makes me feel and after losing my father, feeling was the last thing I wanted to do. But I see now that pushing her away, hurting her, wasn’t the right thing at all. Which is why I’m here. To talk. To clear things up, and to hopefully try again if she’ll let me. She needs to know how I feel about her, and Ari too, for that matter.
I climb from my truck and walk around the front just as the front door opens. It’s Kyle, and he looks happy about something. My stomach drops like an anvil. Are they getting back together? Not on my watch. Hayley and Ari are mine.
Kyle sees me, and the smug smile on his face falters.
“What are you doing here?” I ask. I don’t like this fucker one bit, and it has nothing to do with the fact that him and his bitch of a girlfriend gatecrashed my birthday dinner last night. However, it may have everything to do with the conversation I overheard when I walked back into the diner after Hayley left. Just thinking about what they put Hayley through makes me want to fuck him up seven ways from Sunday and not think twice about it.
“Taking care of business,” he replies, puffing out his chest a little. Really? “Why do you care? I thought you and Hayley were over?”
“You don’t know anything about me and Hayley, dickwad, so why don’t you get in your car and go back to whatever hole you crawled out of.” I sneer, making my disdain for this asshole known.
His hands lift up in mock defeat and he takes a step back. “Hey man, chill out. Hayley and the kid are both yours. I don’t want anything to do with them. I’m sure you can understand that at our age one pussy just isn’t enough.”
He shrugs nonchalantly, like he didn’t just throw away the best thing that could’ve been his. “Can’t deny that she was a great lay though. Too bad it came back to bite me in the ass with a kid.”
I step closer, feeling the familiar protectiveness over Hayley and Ari clash with white hot rage and warm my blood. My fist connects with his jaw and I hear the crack of bone. He falls to the ground with a thud. “What the fuck, man? What was that for?”
Bending down, I grab his shirt and yank him until our noses are pretty much touching. “Listen here, you waste of skin,” I growl. “Someone should have done that a long time ago. You have no idea how incredible those two girls are, and you sure as hell don’t even deserve to breathe the same fucking air as that precious little girl.” I let go of his shirt, giving him a shove. “So I suggest you leave and think twice about ever showing up here again, unless you want to piss sitting down for the rest of your life.”
Just then the front door swings open and Hayley appears. She sees what’s going on and runs down the porch steps.
“Cameron? What’s going on?”
Ignoring Hayley’s question, I stare at Kyle. “Are we clear?”
He spits some blood onto the grass. “Yeah, Cameron, we’re clear.”
He stands up and walks away without a backwards glance. What an asshole, I think to myself. Hayley and Ari are both better off without him anyway.
I turn to look at Hayley, expecting to find her scowling at me, or at least angry. But instead, she’s got a small smile on her face that she’s trying to fight, and I hope it’s because she’s missed me as much as I’ve missed her. Her eyes are a little red, like she’s been crying. It makes me want to find Kyle and punch him all over again.
“Do you make a habit of this?” she asks.
“A habit of what?”
“Showing up unan
nounced and punching people.”
I chuckle, looking at my hand that has started to throb. “No, but I’m starting to realize you make me do some pretty crazy things, buttercup.”
Her smile falls slightly before she looks down at her bare feet. It’s cold outside, and she’s in nothing but her pajama shorts, a tank top, and her robe. And she looks as hot as the day I met her, bending over the engine of her car.
She takes my injured hand. “Let’s get some ice on this, Mohammed Ali.”
I laugh at her little joke and feel the tension leave my body. I still need to talk to her, apologize, but at least she’s not pissed that I showed up out of nowhere. And she doesn’t seem to mind that I punched Kyle. Somehow, I think it’s because she knows I did it for her and Ari. I would do anything for them.
Hayley leads me into the kitchen and pulls out a chair. I take a seat while she grabs an ice pack from the freezer. Hannah walks into the kitchen and stops short. “Cam? What are you doing here?”
“Trying to be a hero,” Hayley murmurs, placing the ice pack on my swelling hand. I wince.
“What did you do this time, smartass?” Hannah quips.
“I punched Kyle,” I reply.
“Oh, well, then you are a hero. After what he just said to Hayley, he deserved more than just one punch.”
Hayley shoots Hannah a look. “You heard that?”
Hannah nods, but doesn’t elaborate.
I look up at Hayley. “What did he say?”
“It doesn’t matter,” she replies. “It’s nothing I didn’t expect.”
“Is that why you were crying?” I ask, feeling my anger rile in my chest again.
Her eyes dart to mine and they plead with me to drop it, to leave it alone, but I just can’t. If we’re going to sort our shit out, we might as well start now.
Hayley’s grandmother walks into the kitchen, Ari hot on her heels.
“Cam!” Ari squeals, pushing past everyone as she runs in my direction. I catch her with an outstretched arm and fling her in the air, her laughter filling up the kitchen. Her arms come around my neck and she squeezes. I’ve missed this. So much. Who would’ve thought, huh? That I’d fall flat on my face in love with a woman and her child. And I had to have it pointed out to me the first time. But now, I can see it clear as day.
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