MAXINE. Yeah, but I’ve had to study my ass off.
CANDACE. Well, for a girl like you, education is probably the best choice.
MAXINE. (After a beat:) What do you mean, a girl like me?
CANDACE. You’ve never really been into guys very much.
MAXINE. Don’t you mean guys have never really been into me? Go on, Candace, say it.
CANDACE. Say what? Jesus, Maxine, I’m tired.
MAXINE. So am I. I’m tired of being your scapegoat.
CANDACE. Can we talk about this later? You need to find us a place to stay tonight.
MAXINE. Find your own place. I’m out of here.
CANDACE. Have you lost your mind?! You’re going to leave me here?
MAXINE. I don’t care if I have to hitchhike. I don’t care if I have to go down on the limo driver to bum a ride to a motel. As long as I can get away from you. Girls like me. You really are something, Candace. I bust my ass for you, day after day, year after year and you are so inconsiderate. You know something? The limo driver was right. You are a bitch. And for your information, I hate this dress.
CANDACE. I have no idea where all of this hostility is coming from, but I won’t stand for it. This is still my wedding night. You’re supposed to be my best friend and all I’m getting from you is a headache.
MAXINE. It’s always about you. Well, I’m sick of it. I’ve put up with this crap from you since I was six. I won’t take it anymore.
CANDACE. Then leave! If you can’t stand by me when I need you the most, then you aren’t the person I thought you were.
MAXINE. You don’t even love him.
CANDACE. Of course I do!
MAXINE. Well, he doesn’t love you.
CANDACE. (Beat.) No, probably not. But we’re both young and successful and we want the same thing out of life.
MAXINE. And what’s that, a marriage of convenience?
CANDACE. Like you even know anything about relationships. You haven’t had a decent boyfriend since high school and even then you managed to screw things up, Little Miss Virgin.
MAXINE. And you don’t have a bone of decency in your body. I used to think so. I used to convince myself that everything really was my fault. I was a bad friend. I was a big, fat disappointment and if I didn’t get my act together, you wouldn’t be my friend anymore. Like that was some great reward. Being your friend is like living in a cold, dark place and I hate it. I’ve lived in your shadow for as long as I can remember.
CANDACE. No one forced you to. If I make you so miserable, then why did you come? Why did you agree to be my Maid of Honor?
MAXINE. Because I wanted to stop you.
CANDACE. Stop me?
MAXINE. I made sure we missed that plane, Candace. I gave the limo driver a hundred bucks to take a wrong turn. I did it on purpose.
CANDACE. Why would you do something like that? Are you jealous, is that it?
MAXINE. You’d like to think so.
CANDACE. (A realization:) You don’t want me to get married. You’re scared that if I do, I’ll forget all about you.
MAXINE. Hardly. You couldn’t forget about me, even if you tried. Every time the smallest thing goes wrong in your life, you’re on my doorstep expecting compliments and concern. I’m all out of both. I’ve got nothing left to give to you. Except the truth.
CANDACE. Why are you doing this to me? Tonight of all nights. I’m stuck in the middle of Little House on the Scary Prairie.
MAXINE. Because girls like me can only take so much.
CANDACE. Just say what you have to say. I’d like to bring this night to an end. I’d like to figure out where I’m sleeping tonight.
MAXINE. (Beat.) I slept with him.
CANDACE. Who, the limo driver?
MAXINE. No. With Peter. Your fiancé. The groom.
CANDACE. (A nervous laugh, followed by a painful moment of truth:) You did what?
MAXINE. More than once. We’ve been having sex for two months. On his lunch breaks. In his office. At my apartment. Even in your apartment when you went on that business trip to Boston and I fed your cat for you.
CANDACE. Let me guess, the two of you are madly in love.
MAXINE. Hardly. I hate the guy. He makes me sick.
CANDACE. Then why did you do it?
MAXINE. Because I could. I finally beat you at your own game. I finally won.
CANDACE. It was never a competition, Maxine.
MAXINE. Wasn’t it?
CANDACE. It doesn’t matter, anymore. The wedding is off. You’ve made your point. You can have him. I’m not going to Omaha.
MAXINE. No, you’ll go home and you’ll cry and whine to your entourage of the subservient girls in your office. They’ll feel sorry for you and shower you with sweet words and pity.
CANDACE. Maybe I’ll surprise you. Maybe I won’t go home. Maybe I’ll run away and change my name. Join the fucking circus.
MAXINE. He had second thoughts. Cold feet. He said he didn’t have the courage to face you.
CANDACE. He always was a coward. Just like you.
MAXINE. He wanted me to be the one to tell you. To break the news to you gently.
CANDACE. Consider your job done, Maxine. Mission accomplished. You’re finished. (Beat.) You can go now.
MAXINE. And leave you here all alone with nothing?
CANDACE. I’ll survive. It’s true, Maxine. I am made of plastic. (She reaches into her bra and pulls out a credit card.)
MAXINE. By the way, Peter never wanted you to go on a diet. He drinks like a fish and he smokes pot like a fiend. The diet was my idea. To torture you. To make you suffer. In fact, Peter told me he thought you were way… too…skinny. (She exits.)
RICARDO. (After a moment, he enters from the kitchen.) You still here?
CANDACE. Afraid so.
RICARDO. Where’s your friend?
CANDACE. She wasn’t my friend. She left.
RICARDO. On the TV in the kitchen, they said the roads are open again. The storm finally passed.
CANDACE. I know you don’t know me. I mean, I don’t even know your name. But it sounds like both of us have had a real bad day.
RICARDO. Friends by circumstances?
CANDACE. Bad circumstances. (Beat.) I have nowhere to go.
RICARDO. I imagine it’s the greatest feeling in the world.
CANDACE. It is. (Beat.) I’m not a very nice person.
RICARDO. Probably not.
CANDACE. I’m rude. I’m self-centered. I manipulate people. I treat people like — I’m selfish.
RICARDO. I knew a girl like that once.
CANDACE. Oh yeah? What happened to her?
RICARDO. She said she had big plans.
CANDACE. I used to.
RICARDO. Did you and your friend have a fight?
CANDACE. You could say that. She slept with my fiancé.
RICARDO. Ouch.
CANDACE. I think I deserved it.
RICARDO. Did you love him?
CANDACE. Not as much as I love her. She and I were best friends. For as long as I can remember. She’s always been there for me.
RICARDO. And now?
CANDACE. There’s no one here but you and me and you’re a complete stranger to me.
RICARDO. Maybe it’s safer that way. I’m pretty messed up right now.
CANDACE. You seem all right. (Beat.) So, do you love him?
RICARDO. Who?
CANDACE. The guy you left waiting at the bus station. Your best friend.
RICARDO. (With a shrug:) I don’t know how.
CANDACE. That’s the worst kind of love. Feeling it but not knowing how to express it. It makes you crazy.
RICARDO. Are you crazy?
CANDACE. Definitely.
RICARDO. It’s a shame we didn’t meet under better circumstances.
CANDACE. We probably would’ve been best friends.
RICARDO. What are your plans now? I’m assuming the wedding’s been called off.
CANDACE. Everything’s
been cancelled. Going someplace else and starting all over seems very appealing right now. What about you?
RICARDO. Miami sounds nice.
CANDACE. It does. I’ve never been there.
RICARDO. Hey, are you allowed to eat now?
CANDACE. I’m starving. (Beat.) And I’m single. Know any cute guys?
RICARDO. Just me. (Beat.) Chocolate ice cream?
CANDACE. Do you have any whipped cream?
RICARDO. Sorry, no. Rosie liked nitrous oxide. She drained all the bottles last weekend.
CANDACE. I’ll settle for the ice cream. (He starts to exit. She stops him.) Hey. I guess Kimberly isn’t showing up.
RICARDO. No, she probably had better places to go. (Beat.) For the record?
CANDACE. Yes?
RICARDO. I do love him.
CANDACE. I know. I can tell. When you talk about him, I can see it in your eyes.
RICARDO. You don’t think it’s wrong?
CANDACE. For two people to love each other? (Ricardo nods.) Who am I to judge? (Beat.) Can you hurry with the ice cream? I think I’m due for a panic attack. (Ricardo exits. Candace sits at a table, furthest from the main entrance.)
DEREK. (He enters from the main entrance, carrying his backpack. He stops at the sight of Candace.) Wow. You look like an angel.
CANDACE. (She sees him for the first time.) That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
DEREK. You have a pretty smile.
CANDACE. So do you.
DEREK. Is Ricardo here?
CANDACE. Who?
DEREK. You’re not from here, are you?
CANDACE. No. I’m from — I used to live in Chicago.
DEREK. Ricardo works here.
CANDACE. Oh, are you his best friend?
DEREK. Did he tell you that?
CANDACE. As a matter of fact, he did. You’ve been waiting for him at the bus station.
DEREK. What else did he tell you?
CANDACE. I shouldn’t say this, but he told me that he loves—
RICARDO. (He enters from the kitchen.) Bad news. (He notices that Derek has arrived.) We’re all out of ice cream.
DEREK. I waited for you, Ricardo. Just like I said I would.
RICARDO. Derek, I’m sorry.
DEREK. You promised me.
RICARDO. I should’ve met you at ten-thirty.
DEREK. Do you have the map?
RICARDO. It’s in my bag.
DEREK. I never thought my sister would die. I thought she would live forever.
RICARDO. The sheriff said it was only one shot.
DEREK. At least it wasn’t from her own gun. She had it to protect herself but she won’t need anything to protect her now.
RICARDO. Neither will my sister, Derek. I said good bye to her tonight.
DEREK. The bus came and went, Ricardo. We’re still here. You changed your mind because you don’t love me.
RICARDO. That isn’t true.
DEREK. I waited for you for so long. (Beat.) I’m cold.
RICARDO. Let me get you my jacket. (He starts towards the kitchen.)
DEREK. (He opens his backpack and pulls out a handgun. He moves towards the door to the restroom.) Don’t worry about it, Ricardo. I won’t be needing nothing else from you. (Quick beat.) I love you.
(Derek moves to enter the bathroom, but Candace tries to intervene by blocking his path. Derek shoves her out of the way and she falls to the floor. She scrambles to catch him, reaching for his pant leg and screaming for Ricardo to help her. Derek slips into the bathroom and locks the door.)
RICARDO. (He rushes to the bathroom door. Candace crawls to get out of his way. Ricardo tries desperately to get the door open.) Derek. Derek, open the door.
CANDACE. Derek, please! (To Ricardo:) He has a gun.
RICARDO. Derek, listen to me. Are you listening? I love you. I love you so much. I’m sorry I didn’t meet you. I got scared. Sometimes it makes me crazy. It makes me feel bad because I don’t know what to do with it all. Please, Derek. Let’s go. We can go right now.
CANDACE. (She goes to the counter for the telephone. As she picks up the phone, she knocks over a container of sugar packets and they spill down the front of her dress and on the floor around her. She starts to dial the phone, frantically.) Keep talking to him. I’m getting help. (Into the phone:) Hello? Hello, is anybody there?!
RICARDO. (Terrified:) Derek, open this fucking door right now! Do you hear me?! We’re getting out of here tonight and we are never coming back. I swear to you, we are leaving. We’re going to Miami at midnight. (From inside of the bathroom, a single gunshot is heard and the noise echoes through the diner, piercing the air. Horrified, Candace drops the phone and begins to cry. Ricardo is overwhelmed with emotion.) We’re going to Miami!
(Ricardo stays at the door for a moment. Finally, he moves away from it slowly. He turns to Candace, who is motionless behind the counter. As Ricardo kneels to the floor, Candace discovers the bus tickets to Miami on the counter. She picks them up and holds them tightly. She rushes to Ricardo, kneeling beside him. Sobbing, Ricardo moves to her. She wraps her arms around him and holds him, cradling him while he weeps. She glances nervously at the door to the restroom, looks down at Ricardo, at the bus tickets and then towards the main entrance of the diner.
Lights slowly fade to black.)
ABOUT THE PLAYWRIGHT
David-Matthew Barnes is the bestselling author of ten novels, including the young adult novels Fifty Yards and Holding, The Marijuana Mermaids, Mesmerized, Swimming to Chicago, and Wonderland. He is also the author of Boys Like Me, a collection of short stories, and Roadside Attractions and Souvenir Boys, two collections of poetry. He has written over forty stage plays that have been performed in three languages in eight countries. He is the writer and director of the feature film Frozen Stars and the dramatic short film Threnody. His literary work has been featured in over one hundred publications including The Best Stage Scenes, The Best Men’s Stage Monologues, The Best Women’s Stage Monologues, The Comstock Review, and The Southeast Review. He earned a Master of Fine Arts degree in Creative Writing at Queens University of Charlotte in North Carolina. For more information, please visit www.davidmatthewbarnes.com.
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Copyright
Better Places to Go (1st ed. — 11.18.13)
Copyright © 2013 by David-Matthew Barnes
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
All rights reserved. This stage play is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America. No part of this script may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
This stage play may include references to brand names and trademarks owned by third parties, and may include references to public figures. The author is not necessarily affiliated with these public figures, or with the owners of such trademarks and brand names. Such references are included solely for parody, political comment, or other permitted purposes.
Editor: Monica Augustine
Cover Design by James, GoOnWrite.com
Publisher: Pinwheel Plays
FB2 document info
Document ID: 770e8c84-e5dd-4b0c-902d-80734fe5b2dd
Document version: 1
Document creation date: 21.11.2013
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