“Unless you go wolf right in front of my family, trust me, you’ll compare favorably to my ex-boyfriends. You’re the kindest, most considerate, well-mannered man I’ve ever dated.” She paused, embarrassed to realize that she was admitting a shitty taste in men. “I’ve never had a guy make me feel as genuinely loved as you do.”
“I can’t say I’m sorry that I get to be that guy,” Rafe murmured, “but I do regret that no one has ever given you a better twenty-four hours than we’ve just spent. Or made you feel more loved.” Familiar guilt tightened his features. “You deserve better.”
Katie shook her head. “I’m happy with what I’ve got.” Crazily, it was true. Despite the fear she’d felt since meeting him, despite the danger, she considered herself lucky. To be alive, and to have found this surreal connection with another living creature. Even if he wasn’t the same species as her. She giggled quietly—could her ever-pragmatic sister even believe the truth about her new boyfriend? “Erin will be happy I’ve found someone who treats me well. The guy I was with before my most recent ex wasn’t very nice. To say that Erin was upset when she found out is an understatement.”
Rafe went very still, eyes glowing dangerously. “Not nice how?” His words came out as a fierce snarl. Just like that, he looked ready to kill a man he’d never met. For her.
Alarmed by the intensity of his reaction, Katie waved off his concern. “He was a jerk, that’s all. Mostly during arguments. Called me names, got slightly physical once or twice.” She’d left him the day he’d smacked her across the face during a screaming match over the fact that she’d been asked to work late. Prior to that night, the worst David had done was grab her arm and squeeze. A blow to the face had been the last straw. The rising fury in Rafe’s expression made her wish she hadn’t brought up the subject. “I left him before it got too bad, Rafe. I swear.”
His anger swiftly turned to sorrow. “And now you’re with me.”
She didn’t know if it was their encounter that morning or his potential for unconscious violence during the full moon that brought such remorse to his tone. Either way, she still had faith that he would only ever protect her. “You’ve never hurt me,” Katie said quietly. She touched his leg, aware that it would incite fierce desire, but held him back with a sober look. “You won’t.”
He stared at her until his eyes threatened to spill over. “I honestly couldn’t live with myself if I did.”
“I know.” She brought her hand to his face, unable to stop herself though she knew her touch would be torture. He surprised her by placing his hand over hers, then he turned and kissed her palm. Katie exhaled. “We’ll figure this out, Rafe. I swear.”
Nodding, he cleared his throat and looked away. “Have you ever been in love before?”
“I thought so, once. In college.” Her second boyfriend had been a sweet enough guy—except for his fear of monogamy. Unfortunately, she’d only discovered that flaw after two years and no-doubt countless affairs. “At the time I felt strongly about him. Way more strongly than he felt about me, as it turned out. It seems a little silly now, looking back.” She paused. “It doesn’t compare to the feelings I have for you.”
“Of course not.” Rafe managed a self-deprecating smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “He didn’t have the ability to join your soul to his while you were unconscious. So I had an unfair advantage.”
“I’m not convinced I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you even if that hadn’t happened.”
A wistful shrug. “Guess we’ll never know.”
“If we were meant to be bonded, I’m pretty sure it would have happened whether I was conscious or not. Besides, I don’t really care how we got here.” She scooted slightly closer, and he finally allowed her to make eye contact. “The important part is that I do love you—and I trust you with my life.”
“Good thing.” He tried to force humor into his voice, but couldn’t produce convincing levity. “Because I don’t think you have much choice.”
Katie glanced at the front door, then the boarded windows that blocked the outdoors from view. What was the other pack doing? Was Lisa plotting a particularly twisted revenge or simply stewing in her hatred? She mentally reviewed the group outside and shuddered. “The one who bit me is out there.”
“I know.” Rafe bared his teeth. “Can’t wait to bite him.”
Gross, but she appreciated his desire for vengeance. Clearly the moon was bringing out Rafe’s primal side in a big way.
Despite his bravado, it was hard not to worry about how he would manage to not only subdue the monster who’d so easily taken her down with one bite, but also nine of his meanest friends. This morning she’d allowed Rafe to convince her that he had the situation under control, but this close to sundown, it seemed like he was facing an impossible task—one suited to an action movie where happy endings happened only because of audience demand and not reality. Fear of losing him clutched at her insides, and she struggled valiantly not to throw herself into his arms and refuse to let go.
“What’s wrong?”
She shivered at the quiet concern in his suddenly gentle voice. “I’m scared.”
“Katie—“
“I know you’re strong, Rafe, but so are they. And there are so many of them.”
He put his hand under her chin and turned her away from the front door, forcing her to look at him. “I’m the good guy. I’ll be fine.”
How she wished it were that simple. “But—“
Rafe stopped her mouth with his. She grabbed his biceps on instinct, at first pulling him close, then, remembering his fragile state, she hastily pushed him away. Or at least she tried. He tightened his grip on her arms, not allowing her to retreat. Despite his persistence, the kiss itself was almost undemanding—not at all like their frenzied coupling that morning. It filled her with the most amazing sense of peace and reassurance, like everything would be okay as long as they were together. She relaxed and kissed him back, allowing their intimacy to chase away her fears. By the time they broke apart minutes later, foreheads pressed together, Katie’s panic had receded to a manageable level. Though she would never totally shake her fear of losing him, somehow he’d passed her his confidence and faith that they would be all right through the joining of their lips.
Incredible.
“No more worrying about me,” Rafe rumbled. He eased back and reclined against the other end of the couch, chest rising and falling rapidly. “You should go nap. I doubt we managed more than four or five hours of sleep last night, and you’ll need all the energy you can get.”
She hated the thought of being away from him for even a second. “Will you nap with me?”
“Can’t.” His hand dropped between his legs and he adjusted his visible arousal with a subtle wince. “No way I can sleep this close to sun down.”
Then she wouldn’t either. “I’m not tired.”
“Katie, you’re going to need the rest. Trust me. Falling asleep is not an option once I transform. You’re going to have to be on guard all night long and that won’t be easy if you’re exhausted.” He nudged her with his bare foot, the simple contact sending a shiver down her spine. “How about if I stay with you while you sleep?”
Knowing he was right, she gave in with a reluctant nod. “I just hate to waste our last few hours together.”
“It’s not a waste.” Rafe stood and offered her his hand, then pulled her to her feet and into his arms. She snuggled into him happily, all too aware of his erection pressed against her stomach. “Consider this nap an investment in our future. The more well-rested you are, the better chance we both have of making it through tonight. Okay?”
She stepped back and took his hand, leading him to the bedroom behind her. “Okay.” He stopped when they reached the doorway. Katie took another couple steps, then turned to face him. “Will you lie down with me?”
She expected an argument, so was shocked when he simply nodded and approached the bed. “Give me the gun. I’ll keep watch.”
>
His compliance inspired her own. Katie handed over the gun and automatically began to unbutton her jeans. Remembering herself, she looked up at Rafe and tilted her head. “Do you mind?”
He stood at the foot of the bed, staring. Swallowing, he rasped, “No, get comfortable.”
Not interested in drawing out the situation, Katie quickly shed her pants and crawled beneath the comforter. Exhaling, she burrowed into the surprisingly cozy bed and rolled onto her side. She closed her eyes and waited, hopeful that Rafe would join her. After a few tension-filled moments, he did. He lay on top of the comforter, on his back, and when she opened her eyes to check how he was handling being so close to her, she found him staring straight ahead at the door.
“Thank you for staying,” she murmured, and closed her eyes again. Looking at him made it more difficult not to use him as a pillow. She yearned for his touch and his scent surrounding her so much it hurt.
A strong arm slipped beneath her shoulders and pulled her closer. “Come here.”
She went willingly. Resting her head on his firm shoulder, she relished the heat of Rafe’s bare skin against her cheek. And quickly—more quickly than she ever would have imagined—the steady thrum of his heartbeat lulled her into peaceful slumber.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
She woke up to Rafe squeezing her tightly, mild panic in his voice. “Katie, wake up.”
Her heart rate accelerated as she struggled into consciousness. What time was it? Was Rafe ready to transform? Was the battle about to begin? Panicked, Katie shot into a sitting position and braced herself for the worst. Had the other pack decided to ambush them? “What? What’s happening?”
Rafe put his hand on her back and she instantly relaxed. Everything was still okay. At least for the moment.
“I need to go outside soon. I figured you would want a little time awake before that happens.”
“Of course.” Katie dropped her head into her hands and exhaled, shaken by how unprepared she’d felt when she’d thought the moment had arrived. “Thank you.”
“Also, I’m finding it incredibly painful not to mate with you.” He winced slightly, then amended, “Make love with you.”
“No, I understand.” She scooted away from him, then fished over the side of the bed for her jeans. “Sorry.”
Rafe caught her wrist in his large hand. He stroked his thumb over the inside, as though checking her pulse. “Don’t be. It was wonderful to hold you like that. You’re so beautiful…so soft.”
His grip tightened slightly. Katie pulled away and stood, certain that if she didn’t, Rafe would succumb to his urges and leap on top of her. With her back to him, she fumbled on the ground for her jeans. She could feel his eyes on her ass as she zipped up. After taking a moment to collect herself, she turned back to Rafe with a smile. “It felt good to be held.”
This time she wasn’t even surprised to find his eyes glowing. An hour before transformation—she was probably lucky that he’d had the willpower he clearly did. Even now she could see his determination dissolving a little as he stared at her.
He rubbed his hands on his thighs, struggling outwardly to control his actions. She could feel him thinking of breaking down and indulging his instincts. He would ask for her consent—she was sure of that—but she had no idea whether either of them would be able to control what happened after she gave it. Though she believed in her heart that Rafe would never ham her on purpose, she knew he would never forgive himself if he got too rough or injured her right before the big battle.
Being the responsible one sucked. “No,” Katie said with less conviction than she’d hoped to convey. “Tomorrow—not now. It’s too late.”
Anguish washed over Rafe’s handsome face. “I know.”
“Use that desire as motivation.” The advice was as much for her as it was for him. “To make it through tonight.”
“Protecting you is my motivation. I don’t need anything else.”
Emotion threatened to overwhelm her. Soon, she was going to have to send her bond-mate outside to face a gang of murderous werewolves alone. Because of her. Because he’d saved her life and she’d rewarded him by running off and finding the worst kind of trouble.
Rafe shook his head. “This wasn’t your fault.”
“If I hadn’t run away—“
“It would still be the full moon tonight. We would still be alone in the woods with wolves on the prowl.” Despite his coherent speech and the rather salient point he was making, Rafe appeared more untamed than she’d ever seen him. His eyes still hadn’t reverted back to human form, and she wasn’t sure they would before morning. “You would still be a fresh piece of meat for those animals to devour.”
Katie flinched at his blunt words. “Right.”
“And I would still be ready to die to protect you,” he said, voice softening.
“I know.” Unsure how to respond to his heartfelt words without initiating physical contact, Katie gestured at the door. “We should probably go out there. Get ready.”
“Probably.” Rafe sighed and walked stiffly to the door. Shilah jumped up from his place on the floor when Rafe stepped into the hallway. “Give me a five minute head start, will you?”
“Of course.” She knew exactly how he planned to spend their time apart. She was already throbbing in sympathy. “I’ll wait here.”
Rafe managed an embarrassed smile. “You’ll know when I’m ready.”
“You’re right.” Katie chuckled, blushing along with him. “I will.” She spoke up before he could walk away. “Think of me?”
He snorted. “Like I can think of anything else.”
He was done in just over four minutes. Katie lie panting on the bed for another minute after that, overcome by the psychic vibrations of Rafe’s pleasure. This time she hadn’t touched herself at all, but this orgasm had been no less intense than the last. In fact, she wasn’t sure if her legs still worked. She allowed herself to bask in the afterglow for a brief, glorious spell, then forced her body into motion. After a trip to the bathroom for a hasty clean-up, she walked to the den to find Rafe pacing in front of the couch.
Naked.
Stunned and turned on by the unexpected sight, Katie stopped and stared. His muscles flexed and jumped as he strode aimlessly back and forth, reminding her of a caged tiger. His nostrils flared in time with the rhythmic rise and fall of his broad chest. When he caught sight of her on his next turn, he barely slowed his pace and greeted her with a wordless grunt.
She stated the obvious. “You need to go outside soon.”
“I can make it another forty-five minutes or so.” His hand drifted between his legs and he stroked himself as he eyed her breasts. She was almost relieved when he swiveled on his heel to walk the other way. “Maybe less.”
“I don’t want to send you out to them before it’s absolutely necessary.” Katie folded her arms over her chest to shield herself from Rafe’s penetrating, unearthly stare. “I want to be together, every second we have.”
Facing her once more, Rafe came to an abrupt stop and jerked himself off roughly. “I’m sorry, this is incredibly inappropriate—“
“Don’t be silly.” Quite frankly, she was impressed that he could still manage multi-syllabic words. “Do what you need to do.”
Rather than take her invitation, Rafe growled and released his cock. Then he gestured with his head. “Actually, there’s something I need to show you. Consider it a last resort.”
She followed his gaze to the far corner of the room, on the ceiling—to what looked like an attic hatch door. Stunned that she hadn’t noticed it before, Katie said, “What’s up there?”
Rafe stalked across the room and grabbed a ladder from behind the couch, then climbed on top and pushed the hatch up and off the opening. He leapt into the attic with startling ease before poking his head back into the den to beckon her forward. “Come on. Quickly.”
Ignoring her twinge of anxiety, she rushed to scale the ladder and grasp Rafe’s offered
hands. He pulled her into the attic as though she weighed nothing at all. After steadying her by the shoulders, he handed her a flashlight that she hadn’t even seen him find. “Be careful to only walk on the joists.”
She turned on the flashlight and illuminated their spare surroundings. The attic was larger than she’d expected, and so cold she could see her breath in the air. There was a small window at either end, enticing her with the soft light that filtered in from outside. Now that she was trapped indoors, she’d never craved the outside world so keenly. Katie took a ginger step toward the closest window, but Rafe put his hand on her shoulder.
“Don’t let them see you.”
“Why not? They know I’m in here.” She shrugged away from him and cautiously made her way to the window.
“I don’t want them to get them any more worked up than they already are.”
Staying well away from the opening, Katie stepped to the side and angled her head to peek outside. Immediately she saw two naked men locked in a heated struggle. One drew back his fist and punched the other in the face. He returned the blow without flinching. Katie winced when the first man delivered another brutal hit to his pack-mate’s temple. “I’m pretty sure they’re too busy to notice me.”
She startled when Rafe stepped behind her. He gazed over her shoulder at the fight, the heat of his body scorching hers. “Fighting and fucking. And they think humans are less evolved.”
Katie tried to ignore his masculine scent at her back. Instead she focused on the view the window afforded. “Why didn’t you mention the attic when we had time to work out a plan? If I brought the gun up here during the fighting—“
“Absolutely not.”
She turned, surprised by just how close Rafe was standing. His erection bumped against her hip and he groaned, nearly tumbling off the joist he was balanced upon. Ignoring what had just happened, Katie said, “Why? If I could take out even a couple of them when the fighting starts, that’s fewer for you to face alone.”
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