“Daniel seems okay, Lizzy.” Nessa turned her head and shot a glance at Daniel.
Lizzy winced, letting out a small sigh.
“On the surface, yes, but it’s all bubbling underneath.” Lizzy folded her arms and leaned back against the railing, pulling her scarf tighter around her neck to ward off the chilly breeze. “He doesn’t want to talk about it at the moment, but it’s on his mind. He hasn’t said a word since the other night.” Lizzy turned to face Nessa. “What he told me about his Da... no wonder he’s struggling.”
“Daniel’s Da was a horrible man, Lizzy.” Nessa stepped closer to Lizzy and spoke quietly. “After your call yesterday, I did some checking of my own. It’s true he’s dying, but Caleb said he’s changed, and he wants to put things right with his family before he dies. Riley and I both think Daniel should see him.”
Lizzy held Nessa’s gaze. “He doesn’t want to, Ness. He despises the man.” Tears pricked Lizzy’s eyes. “I’m kind of with Daniel on this, although I know the right thing is to see him. Maybe you can talk it through with Daniel? He respects you.”
Nessa squeezed Lizzy’s arm.
“Oh Lizzy. It’ll be okay, poppet. You’ll see. I don’t want to cause any problems, but I’ll pray about it, and if it seems right, I’ll bring it up, okay?”
“Thanks Nessa. It’s so good to have you here.” Lizzy’s voice caught in her throat.
“And it’s good to be here.” Nessa patted Lizzy’s hand and then glanced at the ferry chugging towards the wharf. “Are you okay, Liz?” Nessa’s smile turned tender. Lizzy swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. Why was it so hard to control her emotions?
Nessa slipped her arm through Lizzy’s and walked with her to join the others.
Fares paid, they boarded the old wooden ferry along with a dozen or so other passengers. Riley grabbed Jake’s hand to stop him from running around, and Nessa handed Dillon back to Lizzy before taking Cindy’s hand. Daniel followed behind Lizzy with the push chair.
“In or out?” Daniel called from behind.
Lizzy glanced at Daniel over her shoulder. Did he sound annoyed, or was she just imagining it? She pushed the thought aside.
“In? It’s a bit cold outside.”
Daniel pulled her back.
“Lizzy, did you ask Nessa and Riley to come just to talk me into seeing Da?”
Lizzy’s heart sank. Gulping, she raised her head and looked into his darkened eyes. How could she convince him it wasn’t one of the reasons when she knew full well it was? It wouldn’t pay to lie, in fact, it could make it worse.
Reaching out her hand, she gently touched his arm, but he pulled it away.
“I knew it.” Daniel glowered.
“Daniel, I’m sorry. It wasn’t the only reason. It was mainly for your birthday.”
“I don’t want to be hassled, Lizzy. You should have left me to make my own decisions.”
Lizzy bit her lip. She’d been caught out.
“I’m really sorry, Daniel. I didn’t mean it to be a problem. I was just concerned, that’s all, and I thought talking to them might help.”
“You need to learn to trust me, Lizzy, and not force things. Let me work through things in my own time.”
“I’m sorry, Daniel. I really am.” Lizzy reached out again for his arm, and this time he didn’t pull away. She searched his eyes, hoping to see some softening. “Will we be okay? I’d hate them to feel unwelcome after driving all this way.”
“Yes, it’ll be fine.” Daniel narrowed his eyes. “But don’t push, Lizzy. Okay?”
Lizzy nodded, swallowing hard.
“I really am sorry, Daniel.” Lizzy took his hand and walked with him to join the others.
For the rest of the trip, Lizzy clung to Daniel. She had to make things right between them. Why had she thought she could fix everything for him? She still had so much to learn.
The afternoon passed pleasantly enough, although Lizzy struggled to keep her mind focused. She prayed that Riley and Nessa would sense Daniel’s reluctance to talk about his Da and not push him. The last thing she wanted was to cause problems between them. She should forewarn them…
The opportunity to speak with Nessa came when they reached the Lakeside Aquarium and the men took charge of the children. Lizzy fell back and joined Nessa. She grabbed Nessa’s arm.
“Ness, Daniel’s upset.”
Nessa faced Lizzy, her head tilted.
“What do you mean?”
“I thought I was doing a good thing.” Lizzy’s shoulders slumped and she bit her lip.
“Lizzy, what’s happened?”
Lizzy took a deep breath and clenched her hands.
“Daniel thinks I asked you here just to talk him into seeing his Da.”
“Ouch…” Nessa’s eyes widened. “I wondered what you were talking about on the ferry.” Nessa slipped her arm around Lizzy’s waist. “Don’t worry Liz. We know Daniel, but God’s also working in all of this. If Daniel doesn’t want to talk at the moment, that’s fine. We’ll just wait for him to be ready. In the meantime, we’ll just enjoy being here with you.” Nessa smiled warmly and squeezed Lizzy tightly. How did Nessa always have the right words?
Lizzy pulled herself together and determined to enjoy the outing. She and Daniel hadn’t been out much, mainly because of the weather. They strolled through the Aquarium, marvelling at the different types of sea creatures, and laughing at Jake and Cindy’s delight at seeing a huge octopus. They ended up at the cafe where the adults enjoyed a Devonshire tea and the children had an ice-cream each. Lizzy stayed close to Daniel and held his hand as often as she could. She wanted him to know how sorry she was for upsetting him, and how much she wanted everything to be right between them. Maybe she was overdoing it, but what else was there to do?
The children fell asleep on the ferry ride back, and by the time they reached the wharf, the sun had disappeared behind the mountains and the chill of early evening began to bite.
“You might have to help me chop some more wood,” Daniel said to Riley as they shivered on the way back to their cars.
“No problem, Danny. A good workout will do me good.” Riley chuckled as he grabbed Jake and Cindy’s hands and led them to the car.
Lizzy had another surprise, one she hoped Daniel would be happy about. She’d asked Paul and Robyn for dinner as well. She and Nessa quickly bathed and dressed the children, and Lizzy was doing last minute preparations when Paul and Robyn arrived. Daniel and Riley were still out chopping the extra wood, but came in soon after.
Following the introductions, Lizzy asked Daniel to sort out drinks for everyone. She caught a whiff of cigarette smoke on his breath. It didn’t matter. As long as he wasn’t drinking. She held his gaze for a moment. Had he forgiven her? She wasn’t sure.
Despite the underlying tension that possibly only Lizzy was aware of between her and Daniel, dinner was a joyous occasion. Pleased everyone was getting on well together, she relaxed and enjoyed the friendly banter at the table. Maybe Daniel was just putting on a good show, but he was in good form, as he and Riley competed for the funniest joke. Paul didn’t even try to compete, he just joined in with the laughter.
Following dinner, Lizzy brought out the birthday cake and placed it in front of Daniel. His eyes lit up at the assortment of sweets adorning it.
“Happy birthday, my love.” Lizzy pressed her lips against Daniel’s cheek and squeezed his shoulder. He had to know how sorry she was.
She hoped the sparkle in his eye meant she was forgiven and that everything was fine between them. She’d hated walking on eggshells in the past and certainly didn’t want to start again.
Riley began singing ‘Happy Birthday’ and then everyone joined in. Lizzy beamed at Daniel and clapped her hands as he blew out the candles.
Then Riley pressed him for a speech. Lizzy stiffened and held her breath. No, not a speech. Please…
Daniel cleared his throat, shot Lizzy a quick glance she couldn’t read, then stood. Lizzy’s
pulse quickened. She clenched her hands together to prevent them shaking.
Daniel’s gaze travelled around the table. He didn’t deserve such good friends and family. They’d each stood beside him, supporting him when he needed it the most, even when he’d treated them badly. And then there was Lizzy. He’d been way too hard on her. He hadn’t meant to react the way he had - she was only trying to help. And he loved her so much. Daniel swallowed hard. What would he do without her?
He inhaled deeply and lowered his eyes, his fingers resting on the table. He owed it to each of them to be honest, but could he really share what was on his heart? Bare all? How could he do that? Maybe he should just thank them for coming and leave it at that. It’d be the easiest way out, but no, it wasn’t enough. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. God, I really need your help…
His mind calmed as Lizzy took his hand and squeezed it gently. Yes, he could do this. He needed to. For Lizzy.
Daniel lifted his gaze and smiled warmly at Lizzy. He cleared his throat again.
“Thank you all for coming, especially Nessa and Riley for coming so far, and for Lizzy for organising this without me knowing.” He paused for a moment and swallowed hard. “I haven’t been the best lately, and I’m sorry for my bad behaviour. I haven’t been handling things too well since I got that phone call. It was the first big challenge I’ve had since becoming a Christian, and I blew it.”
Paul started to interrupt, but Daniel held up his hand.
“Let me speak. I owe everything to God and to you people. You’ve all been so patient, and have shown love when I haven’t deserved it. Being forced to think about my childhood and Da stirred up old emotions that have been eating away at me. I know you all believe I should see him, and forgive him, but it’s not that easy when all I see when I think of him is a despicable man who beat my Mam.” Daniel breathed slowly as he clenched his fists. Control yourself, Daniel. Don’t lose it in front of everybody.
He steadied himself. He had to do this. “Each of you have had something to say, and God’s been pricking me, even though I’ve been trying to ignore Him. But it’s eating away at me, and I can’t ignore Him forever, I know that, so despite how I feel,” Daniel paused and gulped, “I’ve decided to go.”
Daniel held Lizzy’s gaze, her tears causing a lump to appear in his throat. She squeezed his hand.
“I have no idea how God can change the hate I have for Da into anything else, but I’m willing to give it a go and trust Him. You’ll all need to pray hard, because He’s going to have a difficult job.”
Lizzy stood, and in front of everyone, wrapped her arms around him and kissed him.
“Daniel, we’re all behind you.” He squeezed back the tears that threatened to fall. He didn’t deserve this much love. Breathing deeply, he hugged her back.
“Daniel, can we pray for you?” Paul asked as he stood and placed his hand on Daniel’s shoulder.
Unable to utter a word, Daniel nodded.
“Lord God, thank You for working in Daniel’s life. Such a special and much loved man, and one whom I’m convinced You have Your hand on. Bless his decision to trust You, and I ask that You change his hate for his Da to love and forgiveness. Do a wonderful work in his heart, Lord God, and use this to bring him closer to Yourself. Guide and lead him in the days ahead. Thank you Lord God. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
“Amen.”
Daniel inhaled deeply as a wonderful sense of calm flowed through his body. Why had he struggled so hard against God? He had so much to learn about living as a Christian.
The following morning, Paul was the guest speaker at the church in Ambleside, and Daniel looked forward to hearing him preach. Making the decision to see Da had changed everything. Like a light switch being flicked on in his head, all the negative thoughts he’d been harbouring had been replaced with positive ones, and he felt much happier.
Daniel and Lizzy took their seats in the small stone church, with Riley and Nessa alongside. The children had gone to Sunday School, so only Dillon was left to care for, and so far he was behaving.
Daniel took Lizzy’s hand. He’d never believed church could be so enjoyable. In the past, he’d gone just to keep Lizzy happy, but now he went because he wanted to. And now he was back on speaking terms with God, Daniel sensed the presence of the Lord and it warmed his heart.
Paul stood to begin his sermon. God, please speak to me this morning. I need to hear from You. Although it was the right decision to see Da, Daniel had no idea how to handle it. If it was up to him, he’d probably end up punching Da, but that definitely wouldn’t go down well in anyone’s eyes, let alone God’s.
Paul began by reading from Mathew 5, verses 43 - 47, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
As Paul spoke about God’s undiscriminating love to all people, Daniel listened intently. God wanted him to show the same undiscriminating love not only to those who were easy to love, but to those he didn’t like, or even hated, i.e. Da. Can I do that? God, I’m sorry, but I’m not ready for this…
Paul continued; “Jesus instructs us to live by a higher standard than what the world expects, a standard that’s impossible to attain through our own efforts. A standard that can only be achieved through the power of God’s Holy Spirit working in our lives.
“What’s impossible for man, becomes possible for all those who give their lives to Jesus Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit living in their hearts.
“And there’s more… God not only expects us to love those we find hard to love, He also wants us to pray for them. In my experience, I’ve found it’s infinitely easier to love someone I dislike when I’ve prayed for them, because when we pray, God’s able to open our hearts to seeing people the way He sees them, instead of the way we naturally see them.
“Loving your enemies, and praying for those who grieve you leads you into release, freedom and happiness…”
Maybe that’s what I can do. Pray for Da. Even if I don’t feel like it. God’ll have to do the rest, because I can’t.
Daniel squeezed Lizzy’s hand. This would be the hardest thing he’d done in his life.
After church ended, they had lunch in town before Riley and Nessa headed back home. As they were leaving, Riley took Daniel aside and handed him an envelope, telling him not to open it until they’d gone.
Daniel gave Riley a puzzled look.
“What’s this?”
“Just wait until you open it.”
Daniel obeyed and put the envelope into his top pocket.
Driving back to the cottage after waving Riley and Nessa off, Daniel reached into his pocket and took out the envelope. His eyes popped. Two hundred pounds! This was too much. Opening the note, he read it aloud.
“Daniel and Lizzy, we want you to put this toward your trip to Ireland so that all three of you can go. Please accept it as a gift that doesn’t need repaying. We give it to you in love, and pray that God will work His way in your lives as you obey Him. All our love, Riley and Nessa.”
Daniel’s eyes blurred with tears. “Liz, pull over.” A sudden breathlessness took hold, along with a fluttering in his chest, as if a small bird were inside trying to escape. He couldn’t believe it. No-one had ever been this generous to him. What had he done to deserve this?
Lizzy pulled over and wrapped her arms around him.
“Daniel, are you okay?” Lizzy’s voice was gentle and concerned as she whispered in his ear and stroked his hair.
Daniel nodded and slowly controlled himself.
&nbs
p; “I just can’t believe it, Liz. I’m in shock.”
Lizzy laughed softly. “I think it’s God’s way of telling you you made the right decision.”
Daniel let out a huge breath. He still couldn’t believe it. Two hundred pounds! It would have taken him months to save that much.
He took Lizzy’s hands. “Seems like God really wants us to go, so I guess we’d better book our tickets.”
Lizzy beamed a smile at Daniel and threw her arms around his neck before planting a huge kiss on his lips.
Chapter Five
Lizzy rose earlier than normal the day they left for Belfast. With so much still to do, her mind had been active all night and she had trouble sleeping. After Daniel had made the decision to go, everything happened quickly, leaving little time to organise it all. Boat from Liverpool was the easiest and cheapest way to get there, but it meant an early start to arrive in time for the 10.30am sailing. Dillon had to pick that day to be difficult, and it didn’t help that Daniel still couldn’t drive. The year without his license was dragging.
“Come on, Daniel, we have to leave. Turn it off.” How does he have time to watch television? Lizzy huffed as she did a last sweep around the kitchen and lounge. “Dillon’s ready. His pram’s in the car. The bags are all at the door.”
“Okay, love. Calm down. We’ve got plenty of time.”
She stopped and glared at him. “No, we haven’t. What if we get lost?”
“We won’t. Trust me.”
Lizzy rolled her eyes. That was the problem. Every time Daniel navigated, they took twice as long to get anywhere. But she daren’t say that.
She bent down and picked up Dillon, his little face still red from crying. She needed to calm down for his sake. “Come on, little man. Please be good.” Patting his back, Lizzy carried him to the car and placed him in the baby seat. She sighed with relief as the front door closed and Daniel appeared with the bags.
Sliding in beside her, Daniel extended his hand and placed it on her leg. “Sorry Liz. I haven’t been much help.”
The Shadows Trilogy Box Set: A Christian Romance Page 29