by Jillian Neal
“All right.” Dan gazed at her, knowing that he could never love anything more. “Do you want to get married first, sweetheart?”
“Yes, but just something quick. I don’t want anything elaborate. I just want to be married to you.”
Dan felt the warmth of her own tidal waters wash through him as well. She baptized his weary soul and cleansed his lungs for fresh breath.
He kissed her forehead. “My mother will be devastated,” he teased through his tears.
Fionna laughed heartily as she leaned and brushed a kiss along his jaw.
They watched the salty blue waters whip the sands and then turn to an inky black as the sun set behind the mountains.
Dan noted that their tears felt different here as well. They felt healing and productive and like there might just be an end to them at some point.
“You wanna go back to the farm and practice getting pregnant?” she whispered with a mischievous grin.
He tried with all of his might to hide his desperate desire with a chuckle. It proved a futile effort. Every cell in his body propelled him towards her. His entire body ached and sent the pain surging fiercely to his groin.
He helped her up as they brushed the sand off of them and walked hand in hand back towards the truck.
“Are you sure you feel all right?” Dan studied her rhythms more than he listened to her words.
“I think so. Maybe just kind of take it slow.” Her voice was low and breathy in a need all her own. Dan helped her into the truck and held her hand as he drove back to her grandparent’s farm.
“Fionna, I want to be with you so badly I hurt, baby doll, but if we’re gonna do this then you have to promise me that if I do anything at all that…” he stammered, trying to think of the best way to phrase everything, “doesn’t feel the way it’s supposed to, that you’ll stop me. I’ll wait as long as you need. I just need you to promise me.”
“I promise, but I need you. I need us.” Her energy spun in desire and elation over their oceanfront confessions and decisions.
The Cottage
Dan drove slowly along the winding lanes. There was no rush. Though he longed to be with her, he knew that they had all night, and he needed to move with tenderness, to worship her beautiful body, and soothe her soul.
He needed to work her over slowly, making certain that each and every move brought her healing and restored the two of them as he made them one.
He felt the rhythms of the island soothing him and giving him cues as to how to really love and adore the woman that was going to be his wife. If he listened closely, he could hear the steady thrum of the ocean telling him how to allay her every fear and soothe her every ache.
They moved into the cottage. Someone, Fionna’s grandmother Dan assumed, had lit and heat casted a few candles in the living room and bedroom, giving the cottage a soft luminescent glow.
Dan pulled Fionna gently towards him, standing outside of the bedroom door.
“Fionna,” he whispered as he cradled her head to his shoulder and wrapped his other arm loosely around her back. “I can’t wait to be your husband, to make you my wife, to make babies with you, and to have a real life, sweetheart. I’m so sorry that I made you wait for all of that.”
“No,” she shook her head as she whispered the word. “Everything happens for a reason. I told you, Dan, and everything happens in its own time,” she quoted her grandmother.
Dan cradled her face in his hands and stared at the hesitant fire glowing deep in her sienna eyes. He leaned and laved her mouth slowly with his own. He let their lips form together bonding them. Their souls melded as their breath mingled.
“I’m going to take you to bed, baby,” Dan soothed as she began to pant. Her body trembled against his.
He lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed. He stood her beside it, still unmade from their nap.
She watched as he slowly unbuttoned her sundress yet again. He let his hands glide over her silky fevered skin as he worked his way down.
“You are so beautiful, sweetheart. Just so damn beautiful” he whispered softly as he slid the dress away from her body and took in her swollen curves.
“I hurt for you.” She let her eyes close, feeling the energy around them as it began to spin and dance. “I ache to feel you move against me, to feel you inside of me.”
She let the confession pour from her soul without hesitation and distress. She let down every armament she’d erected to safeguard her heart and let him in.
He groaned from the realization of what she was allowing him to see. “I won’t let you hurt, baby. Never again. I’m gonna make everything feel better. I promise. I’ll make it stop hurting, every single thing.”
Her entire body shook as he released her bra, letting it fall away and reveal her to him. Unable to stop himself, his desire simply too great, he leaned slowly and dragged his tongue over her left nipple, priming its timid swell. She gasped and cried out for him. It had been so long since he’d soothed their tender need, and she writhed from the sensation.
Trying to remember to be gentle, he suckled at her right breast.
“More,” she begged, driving him on. He tugged it deeply in his mouth and bathed her with his tongue and his energy.
He felt her rhythms pulse and quake. With a heady groan, he felt them begin to permeate his body through his lips.
Her head fell back as she hoisted them in his face. He moved to the left starting slowly and working steadily until he was sucking her ravenously, and her moans were unending.
Dan leaned and lifted her into the bed, cosseting her tenderly in the soft sheets as he pulled her panties away from her. Another hungry groan shook from his lungs. He gazed at her, swollen and wet. The soft pink folds of her so hungry the wet heat glowed in the moonlight.
Reminding himself to move with precise gentleness, he pulled off his clothes quickly and rushed to the washstand. He grabbed the jar he and Fionna had discussed in the bath and climbed into the bed beside her.
A breathy moan lit the air. Her heart flew as she felt the mattress lower under his weight.
“I’m gonna set the cast, sweetheart. Tell me if anything hurts or feels tender at all.”
She nodded and watched his every move. Her eyes were dark and pleading, her energy fraught with need.
Dan summoned from the erotic energy spilling from her pores. He added in heavy doses of his own calming and soothing energies as he slowly let the orb move up her, and he closed her off.
“You okay?” he whispered.
“Perfect.” She reached her hand down and slowly tracked her fingers up his cock, feeling it harden in her hand. He vied for her touch and for her attention. He groaned from the heavenly sensation of her fingers tracing the throbbing veins that ached all for her.
The humid air held their energy spinning slowly, sensuously all around them. The night breeze carried her scent over him. He reveled in the serenity of her skin next to his.
He took his time, letting his tongue and his touch soothe her silky skin fevered from need. He kissed her deeply. Their tongues danced in perfect motion inside of her mouth.
She pulled away gasping for breath. “Dan please,” she pled, “just please.”
“I know you’re hungry, baby. Just relax for me. We’re gonna go nice and slow,” he husked in her ear. Her body rolled as a needy whimper echoed from her lungs. The pulse of her body beckoned his.
He dipped his fingers into the jar and then began tracing her slit. Slowly, his fingers worked the healing salve into her lips.
She cried out for him and begged for more. He gently eased her apart, coaxing her opening with one finger. Her moans grew desperate and frantic.
He added another finger and delicately worked them inside of her.
“Oh, yes,” gasped from her in heated desire.
Rhythmically, following her natural ebbs and flows, he coated her with the salve. He could feel it working. It carried her energy to his fingers much easier than he’d ever
felt it before. The energy he supplied her flowed through her body quickly. It seemed to amplify the tender sensations.
Clenching his jaw and praying nothing would hurt her, he dipped his fingers deep and then gently pulled them back.
She writhed and begged for release.
“Does that feel good, baby?” He had to make certain.
“Oh, God,” she moaned fervently.
Unable to hide his grin, he added slightly to the friction and force. He stroked the spot that she preferred so deep within her. He felt her muscles relax from the salve and then coil and tighten against him. She swelled around his fingers, pulling him deeper.
Her breaths quick and constant. “That’s it, baby. Can you come for me? I know you need to. Can you let it go?”
Her body contorted. She writhed, calling out his name, and then she lost it all. She gave up the tension and the fear. The need overtook her, and she unfurled in crashing waves all around him.
The orgasm stole her breath. She quaked against him as he held her tightly. It had been so long.
As she eased, she reached and dipped her fingers in the jar and then coated his cock in the salve. Hung so thickly he hurt a moan thundered from him. The sensation was overwhelming.
“Take me,” she pled.
Desperation churned in his veins. His body thrummed to the cadence of her rhythms. He gave himself over to her needs.
“Turn over on your side for me, baby doll.” He guided her, unwilling to lie on top of her and accidentally cause her pain, and certainly not about to flip her on her stomach and pull her back over him forcefully.
He positioned himself behind her, both lying on their sides. He cradled her close, allowing no space between. There had been enough space, and he wouldn’t allow the chasm to exist any longer. She melted into his powerful embrace.
“You sure you’re ready, baby?”
“Please,” she whimpered again.
Dan eased her legs apart with his knee, and then spread her folds tenderly as he pushed inside of her. He felt her energy begin to consume him as he halted, barely inside of her.
“What do you feel, honey?”
“You,” she writhed. “More, please more.”
He pushed another inch, and then, unable to fight it as her muscles clenched tightly around him and her energy devoured him, he placed his hand over her mound, pushing soothing energy into her, making certain that she felt nothing from him but all encompassing pleasure.
As he began to thrust, he pushed his shield out over them. She moaned and writhed as she felt him permeate the air around her and the tender, exquisite, silken paradise between her legs that was all for him.
He pushed rhythmically into her and then pulled away coated in her heavenly nectar. It was utter perfection. He felt her bind and heal his broken heart and his weary ragged soul. He felt her warmth and her love fill him and restore each and every broken piece. Her body milked him, satiating every need of his soul.
She cried out his name as the climax began to take hold of her. Her muscles trembled around him as he buried himself in deep and lost it all. They came together, none all her or all him. Their rhythms fused rapidly. Their releases mixed in heady waves of ecstasy and bliss that gave them reprieve from all that the world had taken away.
Dan watched over her as she fell into a gentle slumber. He was still afraid. Still worried that the energy he’d taken on with so little thought might affect her. But she seemed to experience nothing but his all-consuming love and joy that they’d reunited, and that together they were going to heal.
Toil Through the Pain
Dan awoke to the distant sound of cawing roosters as the sun poured its warmth into the bedroom. He inhaled deeply of the fresh floral air that permeated the room. He blinked and tried to recall the last time he’d slept so well. Reaching across the bed, he found it empty. Furrowing his brow, he leaned up on his elbows studying the space around him.
He heard her. Through the large window screens that looked out onto the porch, he could see her. She was humming. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.
She was sitting cross-legged on the bed swing, sipping coffee and doing something with her hands. Dan pulled on a pair of sweat pants and moved to the porch. His body still required hers constantly.
She was surrounded by dozens of different kinds of flowers that he assumed she must’ve picked from around the farm that morning. She smiled up at him, but her eyes were red-rimmed and swollen again. She’d been sobbing.
“Hey, baby,” he cleared the sleepy gravel out of his throat. His heart ached that she hadn’t awoken him when she’d clearly needed the sanctuary he’d been trying so hard to construct for her in his arms.
Picking up a pile of delicate, white, orchid blossoms, he seated himself where they’d laid. Dan watched her work.
“I want to go to Hanakapiai today,” her voice strained from her tears.
“Of course,” he agreed.
Still waking up, it took him several minutes to determine that she was making an intricate lei. Her hands moved in steady rhythm, just like she’d been taught. He watched her work. She gracefully laced the blooms in a beautiful patterned oval.
His eyes drifted to the left. He saw that there were already two completed leis lying on the mattress. The lei she was working on contained numerous colored large hibiscus and orchid blooms in yellows, pinks, and whites.
The smallest of the completed leis, only a few inches around, consisted of tiny, five-petal pink flowers. The very center of each flower was yellow. Beside that was a full-length lei made of beautiful pinks and purples.
Like a brutal fist gripping his heart and threatening to rip it from his chest, Dan closed his eyes and swallowed back emotion so forceful he wasn’t certain his body could contain it. His throat closed. His soul felt like it was shattering into irreparable pieces.
“Malani and Kai are coming, and Tutu and Papa,” she stated firmly.
Dan nodded his understanding. He was unable to speak as he forced himself to study the lei she’d made for their baby, which she must have felt was a little girl.
The other, he felt his body convulse as sobs overtook him, was made for Amelia.
As she worked methodically, tears flowed steadily down her face. She never stopped, and Dan was unable to do anything but sit beside her and watch her toil through the pain and devastating heartbreak with her bare hands.
Perfectly willing to carry his pain when it was more than he could bear, she completed the lei for her mother and drew a deep breath. “I want to go now.”
Another nod was all he managed. They dressed quickly. Dan pulled on a dress shirt and tie. Fionna donned a long flowing sundress.
Dan drove the truck, and Fionna’s grandparents rode with Malani and Kai. No one spoke as they trekked the mile to the beach. He helped her take each step. The hike was part of the process. They came to an enclosed basin in the mountains.
Dan had never seen ocean water so turbulent. The tide ripped harshly and beat against the rock walls. Everyone standing on the beach that morning in the tightly knit circle had tears flowing rapidly down their cheeks.
Fionna moved to the water, holding tightly to Dan’s hand. She placed the tiny lei inside of the ones for her mother and Amelia, their little girl’s protectors. She wound them together and whispered a long prayer in Hawaiʻian.
He knelt with her, and they released the leis out into the ocean. They stood there for several long minutes, watching the ocean take them away. Pieces of each of their hearts finally released, though the scars would forever remain.
Dan held Fionna tenderly, letting her sob as he whispered how much he loved her, and how sorry he was for every hurt she’d had to live through, for every heartbreak she’d had to endure.
After a quiet lunch that included several restorative bowls of chicken long rice soup and another nap, Dan and Fionna stood outside of the Blue Tiki Tattoo shop just off Hanalei Bay.
“You don’t have to do this with me,” Fionna
vowed again.
“Fi, baby, I want to do this. It’s perfect, actually.”
“Okay,” she smiled, pleased with their plan. As they entered the Gifted tattoo shop, Fionna supplied a picture of the symbol of Hapai, a twisted, cylindrical, scrolling shape with an enclosed loop at the top. It symbolized pregnancy and meant to carry in Hawaiʻian.
Dan pulled off his t-shirt and pointed to his left shoulder blade across from the large Celtic cross he’d had done for Amelia.
Fionna kicked off her flipflops and supplied the inside of her left ankle opposite her Maylea tattoo. After the sketches were completed, they held hands. As the artists worked steadily, they soothed each other’s pain.
It was late afternoon when they made their way out of the shop. The tattoo brought remembrance and a way to work emotional pain into physical, which could be dealt with. It seemed to give both of them a place from which to start again.
Heading across the street, Fionna guided Dan inside of a gourmet ice cream and coffee cafe. The smell alone was worth entering the door.
“The coffee here is amazing,” Fionna tittered excitedly. She seemed so much lighter. The healing processes she’d finally allowed herself had soothed her rhythms. Dan couldn’t bear to let go of her hand. The feeling of her was far too addictive.
“Okay, so what do we order here Miss Styler?” He thoroughly enjoyed the sensation of flirting with her so freely again.
She giggled. “Well, the future Mrs. Vindico gets a big bowl of coconut ice cream mixed with raspberry and passion fruit shave ice, which she will share with you if you’re very, very good. And then she orders a humongous mug of their vanilla macadamia nut coffee, and she sits over there,” she pointed to a table tucked away in the back corner of the shop that overlooked the bay, “and she very seriously considers moving back to Kauai.”
Dan grinned and nodded his understanding. They moved up in the line, and he placed the order. He added two large bags of vanilla macadamia nut coffee beans that they could take home.