“Just making sure you’re still alive.” Hearing Charlie’s silky voice in my ear, I was momentarily shocked.
“Yeah, I have been better…wait how did you get my number?”
“A little birdy gave it to me.” I glared down at Tess.
“A little birdy huh?”
“Yep. So did you have fun last night?”
I recollected the evening again and from what I remembered I actually did have a good time. It was my first high school party but he didn’t need to know that. “I did, how about you?”
“Best party I ever been to…especially the end of the evening.”
“Yeah, that part is a little blurry for me…did something happen in particular?”
He was silent for a moment. “You weren’t that drunk, you really don’t remember?
Sudden panic washed over me. Oh god what did I do in my drunken state? Did I make an ass of myself or worse? “Not really” I said, sheepishly.
He was quiet for a moment and then he cleared his throat. “Oh…well, hey don’t worry about it… I should go just wanted to make sure you were okay. I will talk to you later.” and with that, the line went dead.
I starred at the phone in my hand for a long time before climbing down the ladder and sitting down by Tess.
“Was that Charlie?” She asked without taking her eyes off the computer screen.
“Yeah it was, some little bird gave him my number. I wonder who that could have been?”
She smiled deviously. “I have no idea”
“Whatever, so what happened at the end of the party? Did I do something stupid? Please tell me I can still walk down the halls without shame.”
She turned and looked at me “You don’t remember being all cuddled up on the couch with Charlie?”
“What do you mean ‘cuddled up’?”
“He had his arm around you, and you were all snuggled into him and you fell asleep. It was the cutest thing ever.” She gushed in that girly voice of hers.
“Did anything else happen?”
“No, he carried you to Noah’s car and we brought you home.” I sighed with relief. Thank god.
So that’s why he sounded so disappointed that I didn’t remember cuddling with him? Was it that big of a deal? I needed to talk to him but first I needed a shower and some food.
I was able to take a shower, which helped, but I decided against the food. I got dressed in simple jeans and a hoodie. I sent a text to the number he had called me from, hoping it was his cell phone. I asked if I could meet him somewhere. Ten minutes later a text came back saying he was at the ice skating rink and would be done soon. I could just walk over and meet him there. I was walking out when I noticed his large sweater he gave me that night at the pool hall sticking out of my closet. Deciding to return it to him, I grabbed it off the hook and headed out the door. When I got to the rink, no body was around, so I found his truck and sent a text to him that I would be waiting by his truck for him. Five minutes later, a freshly showered Charlie came bouncing out the door. His eyes found me and a big smile lit up his face. I smiled back briefly. He looked so handsome as always.
“Glad to see you up and moving, I guess you are feeling better?”
“Much,” I said, as he put his bag of gear in the back of his truck and slowing turned around to face me. I handed him his sweatshirt. He took it and held it in his hand for a moment just looking down at. I gave him a puzzled look and he put it in his truck. “So look, about last night...”
“What about last night?” He questioned as he took a step closer to me.
“I just don’t want you to think it meant anything because it didn’t, we were just having fun.”
“Oh you mean when you let me kiss you again? Or when you were loving all over me on the couch?” The cocky grin was now on his face and I pushed him away playfully.
“Whatever, I don’t really remember so it doesn’t count.”
“Oh it counts, this time I had witnesses.” I started to step away from him, walking backwards. He was being playful and I loved this side of him.
“Okay well I just wanted to give you your sweater back and clear the air. I’ve done that so I’m going to go now.”
He started following me so I turned my back on him and walked faster, playing his little game of cat and mouse. His long toned arms circled under my own and held me, pulling me back against his chest.
“You need to stop running away from me beautiful girl.”
“I’m not running away.” I tried to push his hands away, but he stopped us abruptly and turned me around to face him, his hands were on my shoulders holding me in place.
“Listen, you’re driving me crazy. Just stop pushing me away and admit you like me; I think we both know it by now.”
I let out a defeated sigh. There was no denying it, but I was still scared. This was not what I wanted, but here I was again, feeling powerless. Battling on the inside and telling myself all the reasons why this was wrong. “I am attracted to you Charlie, but that doesn’t mean that we can…” and before I could finish he kissed me. At first I tried to push him away but he wasn’t having it as he held me tightly. I was so tired of fighting my feelings so I gave in, putting my hands on the back of his neck, pulling him in to deepen the kiss. I kissed him hard with all the frustration I felt; I kissed him with all my fears temporarily pushed aside. He pulled back slightly looking into my eyes. I was out of breath and my brain was not firing on all cylinders.
“I don’t want to stop.” My insides clenched at his words. I couldn’t remember the last time I had done anything with a guy and it didn’t even compare to anything with Charlie. His kisses stole pieces of me, with each, and every one, and in this moment I couldn’t even remember my own name. He pushed me back until he had me pinned against his truck, his mouth still ravaging my own. I was taking everything he was giving me. I fumbled for the door handle behind me and finally managed to get it open. Once we were inside the giant truck, I attacked him, catching him off guard.
He laughed into my mouth. “Easy there tiger.”
“Less talking, more kissing”. I was lost in him. It surprised me that we were able to get so close physically so fast but I never once felt uncomfortable, it was like my body craved his. He didn’t try and push me too far at all and for that I was grateful. I did not want to spaz out again like I had already with him. I climbed on top of him straddling his lap. My fingers were tugging at the hair on the nape of his neck. He was running his hands all over my back, caressing me, then he grabbed my hips suddenly making me still. A small groan came from his throat and I knew he was as worked up as I was.
“You can’t keep kissing me like this and grind on me… I am going to embarrass myself.” I smiled and kissed him softly feeling sky high knowing I affected him just as much as he affected me.
We made out in the cab of his truck for a long time. I hadn’t noticed how late it was until my stomach growled loudly; I pulled back and gave Charlie an embarrassed smile. He eyed me for a moment before placing a sweet kiss to the tip of my nose. His hands went to my hips and he lifted me off him gently. “I’m hungry too, I know just the place.”
A LITTLE while later we were inside a local diner that held so much charm. It was one of those small mom and pop places that had probably been around longer than either of us. We sat at a booth and as the waitress attempted to put menus in front of us Charlie stopped her. “We already know what we want, we will take two mammoth burgers with fries and a chocolate shake.” The waitress nodded and walked away. “I hope you don’t mind me ordering for you, I promise you will love it. They are good for hangovers too.” He said giving me a cute little wink of his eye. We talked comfortably while we waited for our food, then Charlie excused himself and went to the restroom. I was sitting there alone waiting for him to return when I noticed Noah walk in the door. His eyes found mine and his face lit up, like it always did. He began to walk towards the table but stopped when he saw Charlie come out of the bathroom and take h
is seat across from me. I waved at him to come over but he just turned around and walked back out. That was weird. I know Charlie had noticed it too but we didn’t talk about it, just let it go for now. When the waitress came back she sat a burger in front of me and all I could do was gawk at it. This shouldn’t even qualify as a burger. It. Was. Huge. I looked up and found Charlie had tucked a napkin into the front of his shirt and was already digging in.
He finished chewing the first bite before he spoke. “I know it’s huge, and messy, but just trust me, it’s worth it.” I picked up “the mammoth” and attempted to take my first bite.
Pure heaven. My eyes closed and I made a small noise of appreciation. “Oh my god.”
Charlie wiped his mouth with a napkin and gave me a big smile. “Told you.”
Charlie pulled up in front of the dorms to drop me off and I instantly felt uncomfortable with how to part ways. Luckily, He made the first move and leaned across the cab and kissed me softly on my swollen mouth. Between our hot make out succession and my time with the mammoth, my lips had seen better days.
“See you later?”
“Yeah sounds good.” He kissed me again, and then again. It’s like we couldn’t stop. Seeing that we had to stop, I pulled away and sighed.
“Goodnight Charlie.” I jumped out and watched him drive away. My head was reeling as I rode out the emotional high.
I made my way inside the dormitory, walking past the commons to head to my room. I turned my head and glanced inside the computer room, it was empty except for one person. I stopped and watched him; he had a sad look on his face as he stared at one of the screens. I entered the room and when he heard the door open, Noah finally looked up from the screen. I sat down next to him and smiled.
“Hey thanks for looking out for me last night. I am not a big drinker, still learning my limits.”
“I didn’t really do anything,” he said quietly.
Silence passed between us. I started fidgeting in my seat. I didn’t do the whole talking about feelings stuff, but decided to give it my best shot, since something was obviously bothering him.
“Noah, is everything okay? You seem down in the dumps?” He didn’t answer me, just kept looking at the blank computer screen. I took that as him not wanting to talk about whatever it was. I understood; I never talked about any of my stuff either, it was easier that way. I rose from my seat, I was just going to leave him alone and let him figure it out. That’s what I would want.
“Wait.” I turned back around his face had fallen even more. I sat back down next to him.
“Noah seriously what is wrong? I know I have only known you for like a month but I have never seen you look so sad, are you home sick? Did something happen back at home?”
“No, it’s nothing like that.”
“Then what is it? You know you can talk to me.” He took a deep breath looking me in the eyes for the first time since I walked in the room.
“You like him don’t you? I thought last night you were acting that way just because you were buzzed but then I saw you on your date or whatever that was.”
“It wasn’t a date.” Was it?
“So… are you like into him now? Are you going to date him?”
I let out a little laugh this conversation was not what I had been expecting. “I don’t know Noah…I mean, yeah, I do like him but I don’t know about date, what’s it matter anyway?”
“I just don’t like the guy, he seems like an ass.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I kind of thought that at first too but he hasn’t given me any reason not to trust him yet and until he does, I guess I’m going to try and give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“Well just know, regardless of what happens with him I will always be here for you okay?”
I nodded, “I know Noah thank you. You and Tess are great friends, I’m so glad I met both of you.” That finally got a small smile out of him.
I didn’t see Charlie for the remainder of the weekend but we texted back and forth a lot. He asked me about a million questions about anything and everything. Some of them were about where I came from and my family. Yeah I was not about to divulge any of that information to anyone. I had left all that in my dark past and that’s where it was going to stay. I wondered why he was so curious about me. I guess it was just me being paranoid, he was just trying to get to know me. But did I really want him to get to know me? I mean the real me?
I FELT on top of the world. Like I was invincible. Kissing Ashton was… incredible, and spending time with her was great too, I wanted to do it again and soon. She made me feel things I had never even come close to feeling before. I never knew it could be like that. I walked into school on Monday so excited to see her, when I got to our lockers she was already there waiting for me. She looked beautiful as always, as if she could sense me there, she turned and her eyes found mine.
Smiling I walked to her. “Hey you,” I said as I opened my locker.
“Hey,” she said, looking at the floor, she was nervous and so damn cute. I turned towards her placing my pointer finger under her chin raising her face so she was looking at me. Her blue eyes sparkled they were so captivating I felt I could look at them for hours, days, weeks, whatever she would allow me to.
“I thought about you all weekend.” I spoke honestly. She turned her head out of my grasp looking down again and away from me.
“I’m sorry Charlie but I can’t do this.” I had expected her to push me away and I wasn’t having it this time just because she was scared.
“Come with me.”
“W-what? Charlie we have class.”
“Ashton, come on.” Grabbing her hand in mine I led her away towards the gym, I knew the doors were unlocked and that it would be dark inside. I pulled her through the doors and I put my hands on her hips and pushed her gently until her back was against the wall. Before she could protest, I leaned in and kissed her on that sensitive spot, just below her ear. She hissed a large breath through her teeth and pushed me back so she could look me in the eyes.
“What are you doing Charlie?”
I answered her with my kiss, I had to taste her again to show her how crazy she made me since she obviously didn’t get it yet. She was feeding me like a starving man and I couldn’t get enough. I kissed her hard, my hands roaming all over her body; I wanted to touch every inch. She was giving me just as much, her hands were in my hair tugging lightly and she softly moaned when I kissed her neck. I never wanted to stop. It was like heaven. But I did stop; I pulled back and looked at her.
“You sure you can’t do this?” I asked before cupping her face and exploring her mouth with my tongue. She kissed me back and I could tell she was getting worked up by the small noises she made. “I thought you were done running away from me?” I asked as I snuck my hands under her shirt and felt the warm skin around her bellybutton.
She pushed my wandering hands away, and took a frustrated breath. “I know what I said but it is not that easy, I’m not used to feeling this way about anyone.”
I threw my hands up in the air. “Neither am I, I am in uncharted waters here but the hot and cold acts need to stop.” She sighed with defeat as she looked down at the floor. I wrapped my arms around her and brought her face up looking sincerely into her eyes. “This doesn’t have to be this horrible, scary thing you have made up in your head, we could be something great together if you would just let your guard down and give in to what you are feeling for me.” I ran my hand down her long hair making her involuntary shiver. “I am so into you, I gave in a while ago.” I whispered to her.
“I am going to suck at this relationship thing.”
I hugged her, “I have never done the relationship thing. All I know is that I want to try it, with you.”
She let me kiss her until the warning bell rang for first period. I groaned. “Can’t we just stay here and keep doing this?”
She was lacing her fingers through mine over and over again as she stood in front of me. “As good as that
sounds we better get you to class Mr. President, we can’t have your GPA going down.” We walked out of the dark gym holding hands in front of everyone left in the hallway. I walked her to her first class and kissed her on the cheek, making her blush. “See you in third period.” She swallowed hard as her eyes fluttered open and closed she bit her lip and took a couple steps backward into the room. And just like that, I had sealed the deal that I never thought I would in high school.
AFTER HOCKEY practice, Zach came up to me in the locker room. “So rumor has it that you are officially off the market for the first time in your life. Listen…” he held his hand up cupping his ear, “you can actually hear the girl’s hearts breaking into tiny pieces.” I laughed. “That was a smart move dude, Ashton is like….way hot”
I nodded. “Yeah, she is and all mine.” I hadn’t intended on it coming out like a warning but it had.
“Hey man no worries, I have my own girl. Speaking of that, you know we are dating roommate’s right? They are going to have us going on double dates to chick flicks.”
“Probably, but it could be worse right?”
“Look at you being all optimistic, this girl got you whipped already.” I didn’t answer him. I could have said something about how he was just as “whipped” by Tessa but I didn’t. Was I whipped already? Yeah I had never felt this way about any girl before but Zach’s words did not sit well with me. I was going to be my own worst enemy in this relationship.
THE NEWS of Charlie and I becoming a couple spread like wildfire. By the next day at school it seemed it’s all everyone was talking about. I was on the receiving end of more than my fair share of dirty looks from random girls I never even met. Almost every time I entered a room it would go silent, I got that paranoid feeling that they were just talking about me. I didn’t like the new attention, I hoped it all fizzled out soon and that people found a new target. Charlie seemed completely oblivious but then again he was used to attention.
Getting Out Page 8