“Fine, if you won’t come with me, then I am staying here with you.” I glared at him as he sat down. A small grin formed at the corner of his mouth. I let out an aggravated grumble and headed to the bathroom. I was sitting on the edge of the tub when Tess came in and locked the door behind her. She sat next to me as I continued to stare at the floor.
“You okay?” She asked softly.
“Yes I am fine. At first, I thought him going away for Christmas was a sucky deal but then we came here, and I started thinking that maybe a little break would be good for us. We have been pretty much inseparable since we got together and that can’t be healthy right? I mean, before I came here, I spent the majority of my time by myself or with Dee, but now I have you, and Noah, and Charlie, and it all just feels like too much. Does that make any sense?”
“Of course it does. Everyone needs a little ‘me time’.”
“I know, it just feels like I am being a shitty friend. All my life, I wanted good friends and now I have two amazing ones and an even better boyfriend and… what I am bitching about it?!” I exclaimed, running my hands over my face. Tess rubbed softly on my back letting out a small laugh.
“You, my dear, care so much about what others think and how they feel. I need to teach you to be selfish. It is okay to be selfish sometimes, Ashton.” I glanced my head to the right and looked in her kind eyes.
“I don’t know the meaning of the word.”
“Like I said, I will teach you.”
We sat there in silence for a little while and I mulled over what she had said. Maybe I did need to learn to be a little more selfish. I am a teenager; teenagers are usually some of the most selfish people on the planet. But, I hadn’t been raised that way. Being selfish was never an option until now.
“Oh crap” Tess said breaking me from my thoughts.
“What?”
“You do realize we left those two alone out there?” She said motioning her head towards the door. My eyes got a size larger. Tess bolted out the door and into the living room and I quickly followed behind her. I hoped they weren’t killing each other. Tess and I both stopped abruptly and eyed the situation. They had turned the TV on and were sitting as far away as they could get from one another; Charlie on one side of the couch and Noah on the other. Both of their eyes on the TV, not saying anything. They both turned and looked at us at the same time.
“What?” Noah asked as we just kept staring at them.
Charlie began to laugh as he reached for the remote and changed the channel. “They are just amazed I am not kicking your ass again.”
“You did not kick my ass, okay? I didn’t even attempt to fight back.”
“I know you didn’t, maybe you’re not as big of a dumbass as I pegged you for.”
“Charlie.” I said in warning, not liking the direction this conversation was headed.
Luckily, Tess defused the situation. “Come on Noah, let’s go to my room and let these two talk.” She held out her hand to him. He looked at her hand and then at me. I think we were both thinking the same thing, why was Tess being so nice to him? Reluctantly, he rose from the couch, and took her outstretched hand and they exited, leaving me alone with Charlie.
I joined him on the couch, fully aware that I did not sit too close to him. “I still can’t believe you’re really here.”
“Yeah, well you didn’t give me much choice did you?”
“Don’t put this on me. You came here all on your own because you are still threatened by my friendship with Noah.”
“I am not threatened.” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck and cracked it once on one side and again on the other, letting out a deep breath. “I just don’t get it Ash. Why you feel the need to have someone in your life that causes us so much drama, I hate drama. Especially when the drama is about you or our relationship. It makes me crazy, I can’t control myself. And you, absolutely insisting on having him around, drives me up a fucking wall.” I sat for a moment digesting his words and thinking of my own. It was hard for me to explain the connection I felt with Noah.
“I think, that if you both left the attitude at door and let the past be in the past and actually hung out, you might be surprised that you two could actually be friends.”
He instantly shook his head stubbornly. “Not going to happen.”
“See what I mean, you won’t even try.”
“Look, I can try harder to be civil, but if he tries anymore shit with you, then there will be no more “trying” on my part. I can’t take it.”
I nodded. It was small but it was still a step in the right direction. “Okay, thank you.” We were both quiet for a long moment; just the soft noise of the TV that was turned down, filled the room. I had completely sobered up from the earlier Champagne and now all I felt was tired. “Will you come lay down with me?” I asked him softly as I rose from the couch, reaching for his hand, similar to how Tess had just pulled Noah from the room. He rose and took my hand. I led him to the other side of the suite where my bedroom was. He closed the door behind us as I climbed into the giant bed. He stood a few steps away from the bed, peeling his shirt from his body and dropping it to the floor. My eyes drank him in... So. Damn. Hot. He undid his belt and removed his pants so that he was only in his black boxers now. He went into the bathroom and I immediately missed the sight of his body. He joined me in bed a couple moments later pulling the giant covers up and over us. He drew my back flush against his chest and kissed the back of my head.
“I still love you, even though you make me insane.”
I smiled and hugged his arms around me tighter already feeling myself drift off. “I love you too, so much.”
I AWOKE the next morning to Charlie nuzzling my neck and his hands roaming all over my body.
“Trying to perv on me while I am sleeping?” I asked my voice full of sleep.
“Shhhhh,” he said into my ear, making me shiver even though it felt like my body was beginning to catch fire. He nibbled my ear and kissed all along my neck making me arch my body against him. I rolled over onto my back pulling his face to mine in a very steamy kiss. His kisses felt so good and I found my hands running up and down his chiseled back and shoulders.
I gasped when he reached his long fingers into my shorts. “Charlie.” I wasn’t sure if it came out more pleading to him or moaning.
“Baby just let me love you.” His head disappeared under the covers and I was completely lost. What a way to start the day.
We showered together and took our time getting dressed. When we finally made it out of the bedroom, it was nearly noon. We found Tess and Noah sitting at a table, surrounded by room service plates full of breakfast food. I thought he had for sure headed back to the dorms last night.
“You’re still here?” I asked curiously. Sitting down and looking at Noah.
“Uh yeah, we got to talking and I just crashed here. The snow was coming down like crazy anyway.” I eyed Tess she was hiding behind a newspaper. She never read the newspaper.
“Where did you sleep?” I asked eyeing them both but all I got was the sound of crickets as my answer.
I snatched the newspaper from Tessa’s hand and forced her to look at me. “Please tell me you didn’t Tess.”
“We didn’t hook up if that’s what you are getting at.”
“Where did he sleep?” I questioned again.
“He slept in my bed with me; the thing is huge I barely knew he was there.” I looked back and forth at the two of them. I felt like I wasn’t getting the full story.
“What does it matter where he slept Ashton?” That question hit me like a bucket of cold water. Glancing at Charlie he looked at me waiting for an answer. They all did. I frowned; why exactly did I care so much?
“I just don’t feel comfortable with my two good friends hooking up, I don’t want to be caught in the middle. Zach already shoots me dirty looks. Can you imagine if something happened between you two? Yes, I am being selfish, but wasn’t it just you, last night Tes
s, telling me that it was okay sometimes?” She lowered her head and smiled at me through her glasses. Deep down, I think I knew that Tess wouldn’t do that. Noah was still hung up on me and it wasn’t in his character to hook up with my roommate. Fact of the matter is, I still freaked out. Charlie pushed away from the table abruptly and walked away.
“Noah, I think it’s best if you left too.” I just couldn’t deal with it all right now; I was still reeling from last night’s drama.
“Let me get dressed I will follow you out.” Tess said rising from the table, dressed in practically nothing at all.
“Okay guys, seriously, what happened? You two have never hung out alone before. Why now are you suddenly---?”
“That’s where your wrong chic.” She said interrupting me.
“W-what?”
She motioned with her hand towards the door. “Noah, go wait for me downstairs. I will meet you in a minute.” He looked from Tess to me with a look of concern but strode from the room anyway. I rose from the table and began to pace back and forth.
“So Tess, were you sleeping with Noah this whole time, knowing he had feelings for me? I thought you were my friend?” I said glaring at her. I was baffled, this was the last thing I had expected from either of them.
“You need to chill the fuck out. I told you we didn’t do anything last night, or have we ever, okay?”
“Give me a break Tess, you used to talk such shit about Noah, calling him a cock block and my little follower. You never wanted to hang with him and now come to find out…what? You two have been hanging out behind my back? Why?” She sat on the couch clasping her hands together. I was seething. How had two of my favorite people deceived me for months? And why? “Tess I need answers.”
She finally raised her eyes and spoke. “Noah came to me about a week after school started, wanting to know about you. I gave him hardly any notice. Then you and Charlie became official and he pretty much freaked out. He was texting me a lot and after homecoming we hung out he said he was over it, said he got the message. While we were talking, and texting and hanging out, the guy actually grew on me and I found myself liking him. Not romantically but just like you; as a friend Noah is great.” Her look of admiration for him couldn’t be ignored. She liked Noah like I did.
“I told you he is great. I am just glad someone else sees him the way I do.”
She nodded. “I’m sorry if we scared you but you didn’t need to freak out like that.”
“I just didn’t want you two hating each other and me to be caught in the middle. I also don’t like being out of the loop.”
“I better get changed and go downstairs, Noah is waiting….we are good right?”
I nodded. “Yeah we are good, I need to go talk to Charlie anyway.”
Knocking gently on the door, I waited for him to tell me to come in, but he didn’t, there was nothing but silence on the other side. I pushed the door open and entered the room where we had just spent such an amazing night and morning. Still baffles me sometimes how things can go from bliss to crap in a matter of minutes. He was sitting on the messy bed with his elbows resting on his knees. His back was bent and slumped over as he sat. His green eyes looking a lot darker in the dully-lit room. I walked over to the bed and gently sat next to him.
“Charlie I...”
“You don’t need to say anything Ashton, I am tired of arguing about him and I am sure you are too. Let’s just shrug this one off and move on okay?” I cupped the side of his face and really looked at him. His face looked earnest. I didn’t want him to keep his true feelings from me, and if it bothered him, we needed to talk about it. But maybe he was right and this one was better left alone.
“I love you.”
His eyes softened and a small smile formed on his face. “I know.”
CHARLIE AND I spent the rest of the day in my bedroom. The only time we left was to grab some food. Noah was, surprisingly, still hanging with Tess. I decided that I wasn’t going to let it bother me in the least. In fact I decided it was a good thing since I was pretty much ditching both of them because Charlie was here.
“Was your mom really mad that you left?” I really did not want Anna getting upset with me.
“No she understood. My dad was irate but I could care less. Zach was giving me attitude but that’s just because he was hell bent on going out and trying to pick up some Canadian girls since he is single now.
I wrinkled my nose. “Oh so now that your best friend is single you have to go out and be wingman? Cruising for chicks?”
He chuckled and ran his hands up and down my arms “You jealous beautiful girl?”
I shook my head adamantly. “No I am not jealous of skanky Canadian girls, more power to the both of you, but don’t think you will be getting any love from me.”
He wrapped me in his arms and kissed the top of my head. “Don’t worry, your love is the only love I want.”
CHRISTMAS MORNING came and the entire city was covered by a large, white blanket of snow that glistened in the sunlight. It was a stunningly beautiful white Christmas. How people lived in places that didn’t have white Christmases was beyond me. It was magical. The four of us decided to stay at the hotel and exchange gifts and then Charlie and Noah would leave and Tess and I would stay until the dorms reopened in January. Tess and Noah had even gone out and bought a small plastic Christmas tree that had multicolored fiber optics that turned colors and flashed. I was a little nervous to give the three of them my gifts. This was my first Christmas buying gifts for anyone besides Dee, and on occasion I would buy Fred something small, but I had never thought about gifts or purchased anything like the ones I had this year. It was thrilling and yet terrifying; god I hoped they liked them. We all sat on the floor around our small tree and exchanged gifts. Well Tess, Noah, and I did but Charlie had insisted that we exchange ours in private, later. I had made one of Tessa’s gifts myself and was feeling a little self-conscious about it as she opened the small box. Back at home when my folks would throw parties and I needed to get out of the house, I would walk down to the water and sit. Over the years, being down by the boats and seeing fishermen’s knots, I had taught myself to tie all different kinds of knots and patterns using entwined rope. So I took a yellow ribbon and a blue ribbon and tied them together in a design that I thought looked really cool and I was hoping Tess wouldn’t find it to appalling. She pulled it from the tiny box I had placed it in and brought it close to her eyes to examine my intricate work.
“I guess you could call it a friendship bracelet. I was going to choose some girly colors for you but I decided on my favorite color; so I am the blue and I chose the yellow for you because you are so sweet, and kind, and bubbly and sometimes, Tess, you remind me of sunshine. I hope that is not too cheesy….you don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to. I know it may not be fashionable like the rest of your clothes and jewelry...” I was rambling my ass off because I was so out of my comfort zone.
She finally interrupted me “Ashton, I adore it. It is the best gift I have ever been given, thank you. I will never take it off.” She leaned over and hugged me tightly. Okay one down two more to go. “Here is yours chick.” Handing me a beautifully wrapped box.
“You know Tess, my birthday gifts were wrapped to perfection also. If the whole fashion makeover thing doesn’t work out for you, I think you could have a career in gift wrapping.”
She giggled, “I will keep that in mind.” Tearing open the package, I found a scrapbook. Opening the pages I was so surprised to find that it was full of pictures Tess had taken of all of us, so far. She had it decorated beautifully with little mementos, and stickers and she had cut things out and it was just amazing. My very first keepsake. I felt my throat getting tight and the burn coming into my eyes. I wouldn’t allow myself to cry but damn I was close. “Thank you, I love it, so much.”
Noah was next, and I wasn’t sure if he was going to like his. It was more of a spoof gift, but knowing his sense of humor I hoped he wouldn’t fin
d it dumb. Noah’s father owned his own carpentry company in northern New Hampshire. According to Noah, it was pretty successful and his father wanted him to come to work after graduation and learn the ropes so he could eventually take over, but Noah wasn’t sure if that is what he wanted or if he wanted to go to college and find himself. He opened the book and immediately smiled at me so I knew he found it humorous. I had bought him a “Carpentry for Dummies book.”
“Ashton, I already know everything that is written in here.”
“So cocky, you talk the talk but I haven’t seen you build squat. Until then, you’re a dummy in my book,” I said smiling at him as he placed the book on the floor next to him. Noah loved music and had tons of CD’s; it was time for him to become a teenager of this decade. It was a little extravagant but I bought him a small iPod shuffle with an iTunes gift card. After thanking me he reached into his small duffle bag and pulled out a medium sized package that was also wrapped beautifully. I shot a look at Tess, already knowing she had helped Noah wrap this gift. Tearing the wrapping paper and lifting the lid of the box, my eyes got huge and my breath caught in my throat. It couldn’t be real.
“There is a letter of authenticity under it, be sure not to lose that.”
I didn’t even want to touch it. Noah had gotten me a very old edition of The Great Gatsby. “Noah, are you crazy? This had to be… a lot of money. It’s way too much, I cannot accept this.” As usual his face fell and he looked like I had just killed his puppy. I had a natural talent for breaking this kid’s heart, I swear. So instead I launched myself at him causing us both to fall backwards on the floor with me on top of him.
“I’m sorry I said that, it is way too much but I’m keeping it, I love it.”
Charlie cleared his throat from behind us. I rolled my eyes at his subtleness.
We spent the rest of Christmas stuffing our faces and just hanging out. We watched the “A Christmas Story” movie marathon over and over and I laughed at the exact same parts every time. I loved that movie. Charlie said I was adorable, but Tess and Noah said I was a little too excited about an old Christmas movie that was made in the early eighties. I couldn’t help it, guess I did have an old soul after all. Anna and Charlie had talked on the phone but I knew it bothered them both that they were not together for the holiday. I think it was the first one they were apart and with Charlie leaving at the end of the school year I really hoped that I hadn’t robbed them both of it. I had called Dee and got her answering machine so I tried her cell. This year she decided to spend the holiday with Fred since I wasn’t there. Those two sure were spending a lot of time outside of work together. Of course I could never get a straight answer from either one of them. She loved the gifts I had sent her, a coffee mug with my school emblem on it and a new kitchen apron. She said I had to come home to her for my gift, which was just fine. I loved that crazy old bat.
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