“Jaimie, she has my A necklace on and she is telling everyone that you guys spent Christmas together, which I know is a lie but how did she get my necklace?” His hand went straight to his neck where the necklace would have normally laid. Finding it not there he closed his eyes and looked down.
“I took it off this morning for hockey practice, it rubs against my chest with all my pads so I took it off and put it in my bag.”
“So you’re telling me she went into the boy’s locker room, got the necklace out of your bag, and put it on and is going around telling everyone this crazy story? How would she even know about it?” Tess was right, the girl did have issues but they were getting much more serious than any of us ever thought, this was on a whole new level.
“Ash you know I didn’t spend Christmas with her, why would I give her an A necklace? That doesn’t make any sense.” I knew she was lying but the girl made me so crazy I wasn’t thinking rationally.
“Go get your gym bag.”
He frowned at me. “Why?”
“I want to see if the necklace is really gone.” I could tell he was just as bothered with the situation as I was but he shook his head and went back inside. A minute later he brought his bag out and unzipped a side pocket.
“I had put it in here.” Of course the pocket was empty. I grabbed his C that still hung around my neck. I hated that she had done this; she had taken my wonderful Christmas present and tarnished it. I was still branded with the C that I belonged to Charlie but his necklace was now around her neck and I felt silly for feeling this way but it felt like she was taking him from me.
“I can’t deal with this Charlie.”
“I know, don’t worry, I will deal with her and get my necklace back…”
I cut him off midsentence. “No, I mean I can’t…do this anymore.” I was breaking on the inside. I loved him so much, but I couldn’t have all this drama and emotional things piled on me. It was one thing after the other and I was reaching my breaking point, first with Noah and then Charlie’s parents didn’t like me or us being together and now Jaimie. It was like the universe was throwing everything it could at us, trying to tell us that we weren’t meant to be together. One relationship shouldn’t cause this much heartache, not just for us but for other people. I didn’t come here for this. I had been so engulfed in our relationship that I actually forgot why I was here and how delicate my situation was.
“You don’t mean that. It’s been a hard day but you don’t meant it.” He crushed me to him and held tight, kissing the top of my head and whispering reassuring words. I let him, but then I pulled away. I unclasped the C from around my neck and handed it to him.
“I’m sorry Charlie, it’s just too much.” He pushed the necklace back to me.
“I’m not taking that back and I am not letting you run away from me just because this shit gets hard sometimes, remember it’s me and you toughing things out together, please baby you can’t do this, I love you!” I was shaking as I looked into his eyes that were frantic with worry and becoming more glossed over with every word he said.
“I love you too but it shouldn’t be this hard. I’m sorry I think I just need some time,” I choked out before turning around and falling right back into my old habit. I ran away as fast as my feet would carry me.
MY STOMACH was doing flips and I felt like I could puke at any moment. My heels clacked against the floor as I walked up to the reception desk. A very attractive girl who couldn’t have been much older than myself was sitting at the desk. I walked as confidently up to her as I could. She motioned with one finger that she would just be a minute as she ended the phone call and wrote something down on a sheet of paper. She raised her eyes to me and smiled.
“What can I do for you?”
“I have a 4 o’clock meeting with Mr. Ingram.” She scanned the computer.
“Miss Ardusser?” I nodded yes.
“Just have a seat right there and I will let him know you are here.” Sitting in the vast waiting area I wiped my sweaty hands on my skirt and tried to take a couple calming breaths. I was just about to get up and go to the bathroom to check my makeup and make sure it wasn’t running down my face when I heard steps approaching and out stepped Charlie’s dad.
“Jaimie, right on time, lets go talk in my office shall we?” He motioned for me to follow and I did.
“Layla, please hold all the rest of my calls for the day.” I followed him down a long hallway that led to large doors. We entered his office and he shut the door behind us.
“Jaimie, have a seat my dear.” I sat in one of the chairs that was positioned in front of his desk. He removed his suite jacket, hanging it on a coat rack before taking his seat behind his desk. “Can I get you anything? Water? Soda?” My mouth felt dry but I politely declined.
“Well then shall we just get right down to business?” He eyed me with cold eyes. I had known this man pretty much all my life. He was always around and before he and Anna split, he and my parents were good friends. So our two families had spent a lot of time together over the years but to be honest the man terrified me. I had been looking forward to our annual Christmas trip for a while. I was so excited to get to spend some time with Charlie, away from that blonde skank who had him under some weird spell. Then when he up and left, shortly after arriving, to go to her I was completely disappointed. So that night Mr. Ingram found me downstairs crying, he approached me with a plan to break up Charlie and Ashton. I would have what I want, Charlie single again, and Mr. Ingram would get what he wanted, Charlie unattached and focusing on hockey and school. It was a win win.
“I just want you to know that I love Charlie and I would never want to do anything to hurt him.” The corner of his mouth turned up.
“I care for my son as well and we are not hurting him in the least, we are doing what is going to be best for him in the long run. He doesn’t know it yet, but that girl will drag him down so it is best if they separate before any more time is wasted. Did you succeed in your mission?”
I nodded meekly. “I spread the rumors, and stole a necklace that I guess was hers or something I am not sure… but last I heard she had ended things between them.”
He put his hands together like Mr. Burns on the Simpsons. I was just waiting for the evil laugh to come out. “That is very good Jaimie.” He rose from his desk, and went to a file cabinet, grabbed an envelope and handed it to me. “For your services.”
I opened the envelope to find it filled with cash. “Sir I...”
“I will contact you if you are needed again. Now I think you have some shopping to do, have a good day Miss Ardusser.” And just like that, I was being dismissed. I put the envelope in my purse and left his office feeling like the shittiest person on the planet. But I loved Charlie and I couldn’t let him go without a fight.
CHARLIE WAS relentless over the next week. He called and sent numerous text messages all that went unanswered. He left notes in my locker, he even stopped by the dorms and every time I simply asked him to leave me alone and give me a little time. Every single day I had to see him and tell him that, it was like my heart was breaking all over again. Walking away from him that day was the hardest thing I had ever done and it hurt. I hurt so badly I would take physical pain over emotional any day. This shit sucked. But I felt like I was doing the right thing. Just because we loved each other and thought we should be together, didn’t make up for all the other people that were being affected by us. Then there was my whole reason for being here in the first place. I had ran away to start a better life, a life where I had a small chance at happiness and I am so glad that I did because even though I was hurting without him, I was so glad that I met him and that I had allowed somebody else in. I would never regret being with Charlie and even if we never ever got back together, at least I could look back and say I was happy for a couple months. He gave me more happiness in that short amount of time than I ever felt all my life and for that I will be forever grateful to him for. Charlie had gotten the necklace back from Jaimie.
Tess said she gave some dumb excuse about how she had gone into Charlie’s bag to find something for Zach, saw the necklace and didn’t think it would be a big deal or some bull. Whatever, I was over it. He continued to wear it every day, and he used the stick I bought him for practice. I know it was his way of showing me that it wasn’t over for him and while I loved it, I hated it too. I just wanted it all to stop hurting.
I was laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to some music when Tess came into our room. “How long should I expect you to be like this?” She asked, looking up at me with her serious face.
I sat up, “it’s been a week Tess, I am sorry if I can’t just bounce back like you did with Zach.” She walked into the bathroom area and started washing her face.
“I get it. You’re sad but you’re not supposed to let the guy see you sad. You’re supposed to act like you are completely unaffected.”
I hung my head and let out a sigh. “I can’t do that… and besides, I am not going to play games with him Tess. I didn’t ask for space because I didn’t want to be with him, I did it because it was what was best for the both of us and all the rest of you that were somehow affected by our relationship. You know, enough was enough.”
She continued scrubbing her face. “Have you seen his Facebook lately? It’s so depressing; his profile pic is of you two together and all his posts are all about you.”
I hadn’t even thought about Facebook since I never had a profile before. “You know I’m not on Facebook, show it to me.” She dried her hands and got her cell from her purse, I got down from my bed and sat next to her on hers. She logged on and found Charlie’s page. His profile picture was an image of him kissing me, and there it was, in black and white, he missed me just as much as I missed him. But that still didn’t change the fact that our relationship wasn’t good for anyone.
This kind of pain I’m feeling right now is beyond me. In the past, when I felt anything like this pain, I was being hit. All I ever wanted was to not be hit; for the pain to stop. I could always run from their fists though. How do I run from Charlie when he is inside me now? He is a part of me like they could never be. He has the power to hurt me so much more deeply because I care. I love him and when he hurts me it’s like my insides are on fire and he is the only one that has the power to put out the flames. I am powerless, he holds my happiness in his hands and I hate it. I absolutely despise that I allowed someone else to hold that power over me. I broke my own rules and it feels so much worse than I ever imagined. I hate that I care and that hate will eventually be my own demise.
The next day at school Clayton approached me after class and put his arm around my shoulders. Clayton was a fellow senior and was in three of my classes. He seemed like an okay dude but I really didn’t want him touching me.
“You look rough Ash.”
“Gee thanks, hello to you to.”
He smiled, “so…. are you and Charlie still on the outs?” I nodded my head yes, not wanting to go into details. We hadn’t really broken up. I just needed some time. His face lit up like I had just told him he won the million dollar prize.
“Well since that is the case, I was wondering if you might want to go out. We could catch a movie or dinner?” My steps halted as I fidgeted with the straps on my backpack. I wasn’t in the mood or condition to reject anybody.
“Listen Clay, Charlie and I are still trying to figure things out. Sorry I sort of gave you the wrong idea.”
He nodded but pulled me closer to his side anyway. “Well offer still stands.” Winking his eye at me.
My cell phone vibrated in my back pocket. Taking it out, I saw a text from Charlie.
Charlie: Get his arm off of you.
Glancing around the crowded hallway I don’t see him so I typed back a response not even paying attention if Clayton was seeing our conversation or not.
Me: You don’t own me Charlie.
Charlie: Don’t push me right now beautiful girl, this has been the worst week of my life and I am about to snap.
Me: We are on a break.
Charlie: You are mine.
Looking up again, I see him leaning against the wall with his phone in his hand and a murderous look on his face. I was getting pissed off so probably not the smartest idea but I put my arm around Clayton’s waist as we walked right by Charlie with a fake smile plastered on my face. Clayton was not even aware of what was going on, so he was caught off guard when Charlie grabbed my arm and pulled me away swiftly.
“What the hell dude? What’s your problem?”
“Right now you are, if I ever see you touch her again you’re going to be the one with a problem, a big one.” I tried to pry his hand off my arm but he had me in a vice grip.
“Charlie stop it! Let me go!” Clayton got a step closer to Charlie’s face.
“You heard her, let her go.” Charlie’s jaw was set and he just shook his head back and forth slowly.
“Clay it’s taking all my self-control not to knock you the fuck out right now.” Clayton didn’t move, and I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t want them to fight over me. Suddenly, Noah appeared from behind me and got in between the two guys pushing Clay back a couple steps.
“Clay, you have a death wish bro?”
“I didn’t even do anything, he is being a psycho right now.” Charlie made an attempt to get up in his face again but Noah stopped him.
“Ashton a little help here?” Turning he pointed down hall. “Clayton walk away.”
I grabbed Charlie’s arm and made him look at me. “You want to talk? Fine let’s go outside.” I turned away from him and headed for the door, Charlie followed behind me as I found his truck and stood by it. Not turning around to face him I began.
“You need to stop all this Charlie, it’s not healthy for either of us….. I think we both just need to move on.” He wasn’t touching me but I could feel him. I could smell his cologne behind me and I knew that if I looked into those green eyes, I would be a goner.
“Fuck that,” I heard him growl before he spun me around and crashed his lips to mine in a ferocious kiss that was anything but gentle. And just like that, any rational thinking on my part was gone. We kissed each other with all the pain and frustration we felt. It was rough and borderlined on pain but felt like it was exactly what we both needed. His fingers dug into my back crushing me against him and my hands pulled his hair so hard I knew it had to hurt but he just growled into my mouth. He pushed me back against the side of the truck and lifted me up. I immediately wrapped my legs around his waist and continued to kiss and nip and suck at his mouth.
“Does this feel like I don’t own you Ashton? Does it? Because you completely own me.”
After a week of torture I had my bliss again. His mouth feathered across mine and moved down to my neck he sucked my skin hard. I knew I was going to have a big hickey but I didn’t care because it felt so good. The bell rang for the start of class and that seemed to calm us down slightly. His face was still so close to mine, we both were breathing so hard that our panting breathes were mingled together. I looked at his mouth. It was red and swollen and I am sure mine looked the same, if not worse. He slowly lowered me and my feet touched the ground. But he didn’t let me out of his embrace he rested his forehead on mine and closed his eyes breathing in and out.
“I love you Ashton, I’m not letting you go. I can’t.” I was kidding myself the entire time, thinking I could walk away from him. I wasn’t strong enough to do that and I probably never would be.
“I love you to Charlie, so damn much it hurts.”
THE REST of the school day passed by in a sort of haze. Charlie was waiting for me outside every one of my classes and he would walk me to the next. All the while holding my hand or his arm around me. It felt like he was scared I was going to vanish into thin air. I was happy we were back together, I had missed him so much but I was worried that the break had caused our already intense relationship to jump into something neither of us would be able to handle. Charli
e didn’t have hockey practice after school so he insisted I come to his house so we could spend some time together. Of course I didn’t object. We went straight to his room, both of us dropping our backpacks onto the floor.
“I am going to go grab something to drink, you want anything?”
“Yeah, just bring me whatever you are having.” He gave me a nod before leaving and going downstairs. I plopped open one of my textbooks on the bed and lay down on my side, flipping to the chapter that was due tomorrow.
“I missed you Ash.” Raising my head, I found Charlie leaning against the frame of the door staring at me. I smiled at his words and my heart fluttered.
“I missed you to Charlie.” He sat two sodas down on his desk and walked to where I was laying. He slid my book off the bed and it made a thud noise as it hit the floor.
“Hey you lost my page.” I managed to get out before his body was on top of mine. He rested his forearms on either side of my head and his hands were softly running through my hair.
“This last week without you was pure hell.”
“I know, it was for me too…. I am sorry, I thought I was doing the right thing.” My hands hugged his strong back pulling him flush against me as he buried his face in my neck.
“Please don’t leave me again. It makes me crazy.” His words came out with so much pain they were like a slash across my heart.
“I won’t.” I said reassuringly. We stayed like that for a long time just holding each other, we both were obviously exhausted from our week apart because the next thing I knew I was being awakened by soft kisses and nuzzling. I sighed contently as he continued his sweet trail all over my body. My head fell to the side focusing on his alarm clock on his nightstand, the digital numbers read 5:45. Grabbing his t-shirt, I quickly pulled it off revealing his perfect body that I missed so much.
“We have to make this quick.” Before pulling him back down to my lips for a perfect kiss. I was late for dinner which meant if anyone was paying attention I would get two demerits. But it was so worth it.
Getting Out Page 20