“Charlie, it’s nothing I haven’t heard before. Just let it go.”
His jaw was set and his eyes had changed to black. “Noah, get Ashton out of here right now.”
“Charlie please don’t.”
Noah rose from the table and tugged on my arm. “Come on Ash, bosses orders.” I was ushered out of the room by Tess and Noah. Just as we walked through the door I heard the unmistakable crack of a fist hitting bone and the lunch room ignited with hoots and hollers. I buried my face in Noah’s chest and grabbed the front of his shirt.
“Please Noah, go make him stop,” I pleaded. I didn’t want Charlie fighting for me.
“Sorry, Ash I can’t do that. That asshole is getting everything he deserves, he never should have said those things.” I began to cry so Tess took me from Noah and led me to the bathroom to clean me up. She wet a paper towel and gently washed my face.
“Tess, my life is so messed up. I thought coming here would end all my problems but it’s like I just made everything worse.” I was broken one too many times, completely defective and pathetic.
She shook her head, tossed the wet towel in the trash and looked me in the eye. “First off, with monstrosities like that for parents, frankly I don’t know how you made it this far. And second Ash, sweetie, your life is messed up but you have to admit it’s not completely hopeless right? I mean you have all of us and Dee, can’t forget Dee right?” She smiled at me making me laugh and brushed more tears away.
“Yeah can’t forget Dee.”
“It’s all going to work itself out, I promise. I am here for you, no matter what.” Then she gently hugged me and I let her.
Turns out that the kid that Charlie had punched for me was actually the mayor’s step son and this was one situation that not even Charlie’s father’s money could get him out of. Charlie was suspended from school for a week and not allowed to suite up for hockey. He kept reassuring me that it was worth it and if he had to make the choice again it would always be the same….. I’m glad one of us was sure it was worth it.
“A WEEK suspended Charlie? You really messed up this time kiddo.” I sat on the couch next to Ashton as my mother yelled at me. She was in front of us pacing back and forth and talking animatedly with her arms and hands.
“I am sorry mom but I had to.”
She stopped walking and glared at me. “You had to? That’s what you have to say for yourself? You had to?” I looked at the floor. I hadn’t been scolded like this since I was a little boy but this was so much worse. I could see the disappointment in her eyes.
“Mom, he was saying terrible things about Ashton and...”
She interrupted me with even more yelling. “I don’t care if he was talking about Ashton. She is a big girl and can handle her own problems. You did not have to jump in and get into a physical fight Charles Duncan.” Oh she was middle naming me, this was serious. Ashton was sitting by me just staring at the floor like a zombie, I pulled her into my side and kissed her head.
“I get it okay, you’re pissed off and disappointed but I couldn’t sit there and let him say those things about her. I love her mom and she has been through enough don’t you think?”
My mom released a heavy breath and then knelt down in front of Ashton. “I am sorry Ashton, I really am but I can’t have you bringing all this trouble into our lives.”
“Wait, what? Mom what the hell?” She has always been on our side and now was not the time to trade teams and jump on the ‘I hate Charlie and Ashton together’ band wagon.
“Charlie, I think you both know that this relationship is becoming toxic, it’s not healthy for such young kids to have to deal with such heavy things. This year was supposed to be your year, you were supposed to get a hockey scholarship and honor roll and whatever else you wanted. The year is winding down and you have gotten in at least two fights that I am aware of, you ran out on your family at Christmas and now you are being suspended, something that never even came close to happening before she entered the picture. I am sorry Charlie, I really am, but I can’t just sit by and let you fall apart when you have worked so hard to get to this point.” I absolutely could not believe what I was hearing. Yeah this year had been different but none of it was Ashton’s fault, none of it, I had made all those decisions completely on my own and I backed every one of them up. Of course this year was different, I had fallen in love and was not just going through the motions. I cared about something else other than hockey and I wasn’t going to let anyone take that away from me, not even my own mother, who had always been my rock.
“I am sorry you feel that way mom.” I shook my head back and forth. Finding my mother’s frustrated eyes, I said, “I love her mom, and if I have any say in it, I will always be with her. She is good for me and I can’t imagine my life without her now…. so again, I am sorry if you don’t want us to be together but regardless of what you or anyone else thinks, we are going to be together.”
My mother gasped and put her hand to her mouth as her eyes filled with tears. Ashton clutched my hand and silently told me with her eyes not to do it, to take it all back, when deep down she knew just as well as I did, I never would. We stood up from the couch and my mother just watched us as tears ran down her cheeks.
“Charlie wait please I am just trying to help, please don’t leave right now.”
“I have to mom, I need to get Ash out of here. She has been through so much and the last thing she or I need is someone we thought cared about us telling us that we aren’t a good thing.” And with that, I left my crying mother in the living room and walked Ashton to my truck.
We drove aimlessly for a while, all the recent events just running through both our minds. I knew how I was feeling but I needed to know how she felt. I parked my truck and turned down the stereo, mentally prepping myself for the conversation that we were about to have.
“I am sorry for my mom back there, I don’t know what has gotten into her but please don’t worry about it because no matter what the situation or who it is, I will always pick you.” She didn’t say anything, just continued to draw things in the fog on the window. “I know your parents are terrible and they have hurt you in completely different ways but my mom doing this is hurting me because I know it’s hurting you, so I can’t stand for it, I won’t.” She turned her head and finally looked at me. Her face was unreadable and I didn’t know what to expect. She let out a heavy sigh before her fingers reached up and softly touched her stitched wound.
“You don’t know what it’s like to not be wanted okay!!” Her voice came out way louder than I had expected. “You have this amazing mom who loves you and only wants good things for you and you’re pushing her away for me, do you think that makes me feel good? Because let me tell you, it doesn’t. And granted, your father may be a dick and may have a bad way of showing it, but he cares about you as well. You don’t have the foggiest idea what it’s like to wonder every single day of your life why the people that brought you into this world, the people that are supposed to love you the most, just don’t. Not only do they not love you but they also hit and abuse you almost every fucking day on a regular basis. That the scars you have all over your body are from them and that I have been on survival mode and broken on the inside for as long as I can remember. I am broken, okay, I always have been and in some ways I always will be. But when you came into my life, you slowly began to fix me and every day I get a little bit better. You’re the reason, you made me feel wanted and safe for the first time in my life. So please let’s just go back and fix it because I can’t handle any more things falling apart Charlie, I really can’t.”
I pulled her across the seat and into my arms. Avoiding her injured head I kissed her and breathed her in. She was a lot stronger than she ever gave herself credit for. Not only was she strong and doing this because she thought it was the right thing to do, she was trying to make me do the right thing. She knew I wouldn’t be happy with things rocky between my mother and for that I loved her even more. “Okay beau
tiful girl, let’s go back to mom.” Putting the truck in drive we headed back to my house her head resting on my shoulder the whole way.
VALENTINE’S DAY. I had never cared for it, but then again, I had never had a boyfriend for it either. Charlie told me to leave everything up to him and that he wanted to make it special for me. As usual, I tried to get him to not make it a big deal. I told him we could just have dinner and watch a movie, but like all the other times before, he simply wasn’t having it. My stitches had healed up pretty nicely, I would have yet another scar to remind me of that horrible day, but I couldn’t let it bother me. Tess and I were getting ready in our room and she was trying to cover it with makeup. I told her that it didn’t bother me but she insisted. She had done her makeup and got ready prior to starting mine and she looked gorgeous. Zach had some serious making up to do, so he had gone all out for her, reservations for an expensive dinner and a night at the fancy hotel where we spent Christmas. She seemed happy and that’s all that I cared about.
“So you excited to spend a night alone with Charlie? I know you guys don’t really get much alone time. Close your eye.” She instructed as she smeared cosmetics all over it.
“Yeah, I always look forward to time with him and with all the crap lately, I know we both could use it.”
“Amen to that. I think I am done.” She fixed a couple strands of my hair with her fingers and smiled at me. I was checking myself in the mirror when I saw Tess pull a small compact from her purse, open it and proceed to take a small pill out. She swallowed it down without any water. Meeting my eyes in the mirror, she stuck her tongue out at me. “No babies for me.” Birth control. I had been thinking about getting on it for a while; it was the smart and responsible thing to do. Charlie and I were always very careful and used condoms but if I was on the pill that would be added peace of mind for me. Having kids was not on the agenda for me now…. possibly not ever.
My phone rang with Charlie’s ring tone. I answered quickly and told him I was on my way out to him. I gave Tess a small hug and thanked her for her help. Hugging her had become easier for me and I found I could do it with ease now, instead of panic. “Have fun I will see you tomorrow.” She said, as I walked out of our room. Walking out of the hallway and into the office area, I began to sign myself out for the evening. Noah and Charlie were standing by the doors talking. I smiled to myself, glad that they could now be cordial. I walked the short distance to them and they both eyed me up and down I felt my face flush.
“You look great beautiful girl.” I smiled, I could see that look in his eyes, it didn’t take a genius to know what he was thinking. Leaning up, I kissed his jaw.
I turned to face Noah and handed him a small box of heart shaped candy that had sayings on them. “Happy Valentine’s Noah.”
He smiled and accepted the candy. “Gee thanks Ash, I am sorry I didn’t get you anything.” I laughed at his uncomfortableness.
We got into Charlie’s truck and pulled out onto the highway that led out of town. “So you have been Mr. secretive about this whole night, are you going to tell me where you are taking me?”
He smiled and laced his fingers with mine. “We are going back to the lake house.” I got really excited after I heard him say that. We hadn’t been back to his family’s lake house since homecoming and it had been the most perfect weekend. I was looking forward to twenty-four uninterrupted hours of heaven with my Charlie.
The drive was mostly spent with us cuddled in the cab of his truck talking and laughing and singing too loudly and out of tune to the radio. When we pulled up, the cabin looked exactly the same way we had left it.
“Will you wait here for a sec? I just need to do some last minute finishing touches.” I nodded and watched him bound to the front door. A little while later he came back out holding a blindfold which he tied over my eyes and led me into the house.
“Ready?” He asked. “Yes, please, the suspense is killing me.” I was completely shocked at the inside. He had sprinkled rose petals everywhere and the only light was the soft glow from some hanging twinkle lights and a few small candles placed strategically around the open space. Soft music was playing from the stereo and a fluffy blanket lie on the floor with pillows all around it. It was like stepping into a movie scene. I didn’t know real life could be this utterly romantic. I felt embarrassed and amazed at the same time.
“Charlie I can’t believe you.”
He pulled me into him and kissed me on the lips “Do you like it?”
I shook my head, causing his face to fall and his forehead to scrunch up in confusion. “I don’t like it, I love it. It is way over the top but I guess at this point I should expect nothing less from you.” We stood in place kissing each other for a while before we started swaying in each other’s embrace.
He smiled down at me and said, “I love you. Happy Valentine’s day beautiful girl.” I could melt into a puddle, die right at this moment, and be completely okay with that. We sat on the makeshift bed and Charlie held me from behind. I nestled against his chest just enjoying being close to him. I was snug against him and every so often he would kiss my temple or my hair. Complete and utter bliss.
“You know I still have your gift.”
“Charlie this was perfect you didn’t have to get me a gift, besides I didn’t get you anything.”
“Oh well if you don’t want it…”
“No, NO! I want it.” He laughed and kissed me. “Yeah I thought so….. Do you remember your birthday?” He asked, catching me off guard
“Yes I remember everything about my birthday, it was my first party and I felt so special.”
“Do you remember how you were copping a feel, trying to find your present on me?”
I licked my lips and smiled at him. “I remember.” I said softly before touching my lips to his.
He stood and his tall sculpted frame towered over me. Holding his arms out to the sides, like wings, he kissed the tip of my nose.
“Have at it beautiful girl, find your present.”
I eyed him playfully. “Is my present really hidden somewhere on you or are you just trying to get me to undress you?”
He laughed, “No, I promise it’s…somewhere on me.” This was going to be fun.
I started slowly running my hands down his arms till they rested at his sides again and then up his back. I snuck both hands into his jean pockets, like I did at the movies on our date, thinking that would be the obvious spot but found nothing. I undid his belt and pants and let them fall to the floor as he stepped out of them. His sexy smirk on his lips the entire time. I pulled his socks off and then unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it off his shoulders and leaving him in only a pair of boxers and a white undershirt. If this alone was my present I would be happy with that. “You liar.” I said swatting his chest playfully when my hand hit something. What the hell was that? I frowned at him but his smile grew wider. He raised his long athletic arms to the sky, I pulled the bottom of his black undershirt up, slowly exposing his sexy V and well defined abs. I continued to raise his shirt until his chest came into view then I pulled the shirt all the way off and stared at what he had done. On his chest, right where his heart is, he had cut a paper heart and wrote A+C on it and taped it to his chest. It was the cutest most romantic thing ever. I looked more closely at it and I could tell there was something underneath the paper because it was bulging out slightly. He began to pull the tape off his skin which couldn’t possibly feel good.
Touching his hand with mine I smiled at him. “Please be careful not to rip it, I would like to keep it in the scrapbook Tess gave me for Christmas.”
He nodded and took a deep breath. “Baby, this year has been amazing and it’s because you came into my life. I never thought I would be able to find someone I connect with so much. I really love you.” He finished pulling the last of the tape off and placed the paper heart with our initials down and off to the side.
“Now it’s not what you think it is, so don’t freak out on me okay? No ru
nning away.” I nodded as he took the small something that was wrapped in tissue paper behind the paper heart. He unraveled the tissue paper and produced a silver band ring. He held it in his fingers out to me.
“Beautiful girl, this is a promise ring. My promises to you are to never hurt you and never allow anyone else to either, I promise to be faithful, and most of all, I promise that someday, when we are both ready, I will give you two more rings that take us into our future together forever because that is exactly what I want. I know we are young but I know that I want you. Forever.”
I was speechless. “Charlie I…. I don’t know what to say.” Reaching for my right hand, he slid the ring onto my finger. It fit perfectly and was so simple and gorgeous.
“Just say that you want to wear it and that we will be together for a long, long time and that you love me.”
I did love him so damn much, especially in this moment, I felt like I was going to burst. Maybe after all my years of hurt and disappointment, I was finally getting something good. Maybe this was the universe’s way of saying I had paid my dues and now I was being rewarded with this amazing person. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to walk from him. He was it for me. Karma was finally on my side and not being such a giant bitch.
“Yes, yes to it all. I love you,” I said before sealing my lips over his in a fiery kiss and wrapping my arms tightly around his neck so our bodies were pressed closely together. That kiss would lead us into the rest of the night.
“CHARLIE CAN I talk to you please?” Jaimie approached me as I waited outside the school to pick up Ashton, since I wasn’t allowed to return for a few more days. She had been calling and she even went as far as emailing me a couple times, what she wanted I didn’t know or care. I gave her an exasperated look but she just continued to stand in front of me.
Getting Out Page 23