Lady Charlton sighed. 'While the truth is that I do not need a companion, Desiree, it is also true that I have become very fond of you these last few weeks. And when I say that I wish you would stay, I say it in all sincerity. You are a pleasure to have around, my dear.'
'Thank you, Lady Charlton. I have enjoyed being here more than I can tell you. But it is not fair to you that I continue to do so. Besides, I am quite sure that you will soon have...another young lady in the family with whom to become friends,' she said, hesitating a little over the words. 'Lord Buckworth may very well return from Hertfordshire with news of an engagement.'
Lady Charlton glanced at her shrewdly. 'Desiree, I cannot help but feel that your sudden wish to leave has something to do with my nephew. And if that is the case, I hope you would tell me.'
'It has nothing to do with Lord Buckworth,' Desiree said, hoping that she would be forgiven for the lie. 'But I think we both know that I am here under false pretences. And in all good conscience, I cannot stay here knowing that you are paying me for doing something which, had I a choice, I would be willing to do for free. Well, that is all I wished to tell you, other than that I shall be leaving first thing in the morning.'
Lady Charlton's face fell. 'So soon?'
'I'm afraid so. I am expected at my new post by the end of the week.'
Lady Charlton seemed at a loss to know what to say. 'Well, will you at least tell me where you are going, Desiree? Is it perhaps somewhere we might still have a chance to visit?'
Not wishing to give too much away, Desiree said simply, 'The position is in Yorkshire, my lady, as governess to a family with two young daughters.'
'A governess?' Lady Charlton glanced at her in surprise. 'But I thought you were reluctant to accept such a post?'
'The circumstances surrounding the family I am going to are somewhat different from those pertaining to the friends Lord Buckworth told me about.'
'Are they a titled family?'
'No, but I understand they are quite wealthy.'
'Hmm, no doubt as a result of having made their money in trade,' Lady Charlton said disparagingly. 'Well, if there is nothing I can say to make you stay, I suppose I shall just have to say goodbye and wish you well.' She got to her feet and pressed a kiss to Desiree's cheek. 'But I shall miss you very much, my dear.'
'I shall miss you, Lady Charlton.'
'Mind you dress warmly. Winters can be very harsh in that part of the country and I would not wish to hear that you had taken ill.'
'I shall be careful, my lady.'
'And I want you to take all of your belongings. There is no point in leaving them here, for the servants will not be able to wear them. Nor would I wish to see you go to your new position less than suitably attired. And you shall have your full wages for the month, being that it is so close to the end anyway.'
Desiree felt a lump rise in her throat. 'It is too much, Lady Charlton. I could not possibly take full wages and all the clothes. Surely there is someone who can wear them.'
'There is no one,' Lady Charlton said briefly. 'Take them, Desiree. Please. Your new post may be that of a governess, but there is no reason for your new employers to think that your last ones did not provide for you. And I shall, of course, prepare a letter of recommendation for you to give them.'
The woman's kindness nearly left Desiree speechless. 'Thank you, my lady. For... everything.'
'And if you need anything else, you have only to write,' Lady Charlton said finally. 'If you find that you are unhappy, you can always come back.'
It was a comforting thing to hear, but Desiree knew that she would never be back. Because when all was said and done, it wasn't Lady Charlton she was trying to get away from.
Chapter Ten
Sebastian returned to London in a foul humour, though not for any reason he could put a name to. He had enjoyed a reasonably good week with Lord Mackenzie, partaking of the fine shooting and hunting to be had at his Hertfordshire estate, and had enjoyed the company of several amiable gentlemen with whom he was well acquainted. He had even passed a pleasant evening in the company of Lady Alice and a few of the lady friends she had invited to join her for the week.
Then why was he feeling so damned blue-devilled about life in general?
Perhaps because of the time he had spent in Lady Alice's company, Sebastian acknowledged as he climbed the steps to White's. And the fact that it had been a complete waste of time. In truth, none of the elegant young ladies with whom he had spent time had moved him in the least. Instead, he kept seeing a pair of sparkling green eyes that smiled up at him from a woodland pool and a sweet gentle voice that quoted Aristotle and Machiavelli...
'Sebastian,' a voice hailed him. 'What a grand surprise. I hadn't thought to see you here tonight.'
Sebastian turned to see his good friend Thomas Burton walking towards him. 'Thomas, you're a sight for sore eyes. I haven't seen you around the place in weeks.'
'As a matter of fact, I've been away in the country. Just got back to London this week and was saying hello to a few of the chaps when I saw you come in. Are you engaged for dinner?'
Sebastian hesitated. He had thought to stop only for a drink before continuing on to Mayfair, but the more he thought about it, the more he realised it was probably best that he didn't call at his aunt's tonight. He wasn't in the best mood to see Desiree, nor to play the part of the genial nephew. Perhaps it was better all round that he delay his visit until the morning.
'I am not engaged,' he said as a result. 'I am only just returned from Hertfordshire myself and thought to break my journey before heading home. But I think now that I shall stop and have dinner with you.'
'Splendid. Because I have some wonderful news to share with you.'
Sebastian gave his friend a lazy smile. 'Has this anything to do with the young lady you have been keeping company with so much of late?'
'Actually, it does,' Thomas said as they settled themselves at a table. 'The thing of it is, I have just this afternoon asked Miss Dean to marry me, and she has accepted!'
'Has she indeed? And has her father given his consent?'
'Yes, and his blessing. We are to be married in a month's time and you, my friend, are the first to know.'
'Then let me also be the first to congratulate you,' Sebastian said with all sincerity. 'Miss Dean is a lucky young woman.'
'On the contrary, I cannot help but feel that I am the lucky one,' the younger man said. 'I only wish that you might find a young lady who would make you half as happy as Miss Dean has made me.'
Sebastian's mouth curved in a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. 'Yes. Would that we all had such good fortune.'
'Well, what of it? Is there no one who has captured your heart? I have been hearing rumours about you and the charming Lady Alice. Was that what prompted the visit to Hertfordshire?'
Sebastian shook his head. 'My visit to Hertfordshire had nothing to do with a lady, Thomas. I went for the shooting. I will admit that I briefly entertained the thought of paying court to Lady Alice, but after having spent time in her company, I realise that we should not suit.'
'Not suit? Good Lord, Sebastian, the lady is all that is amiable. She is lovely as any man could wish and she is an heiress in her own right. What more could you want?'
Love, Sebastian thought as they got up from their table after dinner and went in search of more comfortable chairs. Love and respect, both from the woman he chose to marry, and to her in return. He wanted someone who could turn his house into a home; a lady he could go to bed with every night and wake up loving even more in the morning. A woman with fire in her eyes and passion in her soul.
A woman like the one who seemed to have taken possession of his heart in a way that he was helpless to ignore and powerless to stop...
'Well, Buckworth, I see that you are returned from your sojourn in the country,' a mocking voice taunted from a table nearby. 'Did you find the air and the company to your liking?'
Sebastian had stiffened at th
e sound of the man's voice and did not smile as he turned to address him. 'More to my liking than I find the present company. But then, that will hardly come as any surprise to you.'
Lord Perry smiled as he reached for his glass. He was sitting with a few of his friends, and while it was obvious that all of the men had been imbibing, Perry himself seemed to be relatively sober. 'You know, I have never been able to understand why the ladies find you so charming, Buckworth. Personally, I have never found anything in you to like.'
'You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say so,' Sebastian drawled, 'but at the same time, it makes me wonder what prompted you to speak to me in the first place.'
'As a matter of fact, it was Jackson's idea,' Lord Perry said. 'We were just discussing the merits of certain desirable young ladies and he thought you might like to lend an opinion.'
'Sorry. I prefer to keep my opinions to myself.'
'Even about Miss Desiree Nash?'
There was an ominous silence before Sebastian said quietly, 'I cannot imagine why you would include Miss Nash in such a discussion. She is a fine young woman who is presently engaged as my aunt's companion. If you are referring to anything else—'
'In point of fact, I was referring to your initial meeting with her in Steep Abbot last summer.' Lord Perry sat back in his chair and smiled. 'I was just sharing with my friends the details of your charming interlude with her in a secluded woodland pool. And I am surprised to hear you refer to her as a fine young woman. From what Hutchings said, you were openly admiring of her charms. Why do you think I troubled myself to go to Steep Abbot as often as I did?'
The line of Sebastian's mouth tightened. 'I do not intend to comment on anything Hutchings might have said, since it seems he has concocted his own version of the story. As to any visits which you might have made to the area, I assume they were for the purpose of visiting your daughter, whom I know is presently at school there. But I am curious, Perry. How did you know that the lady I spoke to Hutchings about was Miss Nash?' he asked in a deceptively quiet voice. 'Because while I do not remember everything I said to him, I do know that I did not provide him with a name.'
'As I said, Buckworth, I had been visiting Mrs Guarding's Academy in Steep Abbot for some time and was aware of Miss Nash all along. My daughter also acquainted me with the fact that she liked to slip away to the river to swim, so it was not difficult to make the connection between the two. But I have you to thank for passing along details of your encounter with her.' Lord Perry shot him a meaningful glance. 'After all, I had no reason to think that a young woman who swam naked in the river on a summer's day might not also be fit for a tumble in the grass alongside.'
'Have a care, Sebastian,' Thomas said as Sebastian took a threatening step forward. 'I would not wish to see you come to blows with a man unworthy of your time.'
Lord Perry's eyes swivelled to the younger man. 'I would advise you to keep out of this, Burton. Unless you are acquainted with the young woman and have an opinion of your own to put forward.'
'I am not acquainted with her, but the fact that she is Lord Buckworth's acquaintance is reason enough to defend her,' Thomas said stiffly.
Perry snorted. 'What a pity not all of your friends are as loyal, Buckworth. If they were, you might not now be having to defend Miss Nash's honour all over London. Speaking of which, is it still your intention to set Desiree up as your mistress? Because if it is not, I thought perhaps I might give some consideration to establishing her as mine.'
It took all of Burton's considerable strength to prevent Sebastian from charging the man then and there. 'Come away, Sebastian!' he urged desperately. 'You'll do yourself no good getting into a fight here.'
'Stay away from her, Perry!' Sebastian warned in a low, throaty growl. 'Miss Nash will never be any man's mistress and certainly not yours. Do I make myself clear?'
Lord Perry steepled his fingers in front of his face and laughed. 'I do not wonder that you show such emotion about her. Indeed, after having the pleasure of spending some time alone in Desiree's company, I am well able to understand why any man would go to such lengths to keep her for himself.'
This time, not even Burton was able to restrain Sebastian. He was across the table and had Perry by the throat before anyone had chance to stop him.
'Now you listen to me, you arrogant bastard,' Sebastian ground out. 'If I hear so much as a whisper that you have attempted to get in touch with Miss Nash, you'll regret ever leaving London. But if I find out that you've touched her in any way, I'll kill you with my bare hands.'
Sebastian knew that he had made his point. For all his posturing, Perry had gone deathly white, and no one else at the table moved.
Satisfied, Sebastian shoved the man back in his seat and turned on his heel in disgust.
Once they were far enough away, Thomas put his hand on Sebastian's arm. 'Sebastian, think carefully on what you said tonight. I do not know this Miss Nash, but if she is a woman of loose virtue—'
'Damn your eyes, Thomas. She is as fine a lady as your own Miss Dean! It is merely a set of unfortunate circumstances which have placed her in her current predicament.'
'That being the case, unless you wish to be seen as the lady's champion, you might like to have a care for what you say,' Thomas persisted gently. 'Listening to the way you defended her would almost lead one to believe that—'
'Believe what?' Sebastian growled.
'That you...cared for the young woman.'
It was too close to the truth for Sebastian's liking. As was the fact that he couldn't say a damn thing to refute it.
Shortly after the confrontation with Lord Perry, Sebastian left White's and headed for his aunt's house. He needed to speak to Desiree. It was time for them to clear the air once and for all. A number of things had become clear to him while he was in Hertfordshire and the rest had fallen into place tonight. Not the least of which was that he was in love with Desiree Nash.
Oh yes, he loved her, Sebastian admitted. It might be the first time he had admitted it in so many words, but he knew it to be the truth. As he did the fact that he'd been feeling this way for a long time. He wasn't sure when he'd fallen in love with Desiree, but he suspected it was last summer when she'd told him to his face that she was too good to be his mistress. And everything that had happened between now and then had only caused him to love her more.
And now it was time to tell her that. He wondered for a moment how his aunt would take the news, but in all honesty, he did not think she would be unhappy. She liked Desiree, and after all, she was Sir George Owens's granddaughter.
Unfortunately, as it turned out, Sebastian was to be denied the pleasure of telling the woman he loved how he felt about her. Upon arriving at his aunt's house, he was informed that the lady who had become such an important part of his life—the woman who meant more to him than anyone in the world—had packed her bags and left London for good!
Desiree did not settle well into her new position in Yorkshire. Banksburgh House was located on the side of a remote, windswept hill in the northern dales, and was about an hour by carriage from the nearest village. The prospect from the front window was mildly pleasing, but the house itself was not. Desiree found the dark ugly mansion extremely depressing after the airy brightness of Lady Charlton's elegant town house. As she did the personalities of the brooding Mr Clyde and his wife.
To be sure, there was precious little laughter to be heard in the halls of Banksburgh House. The only bright spot in an otherwise gloomy picture was the younger of the two girls Desiree had been engaged to look after, Miss Sarah Clyde was four years old and was as sweet as any child Desiree had ever had the pleasure to meet. Her thirteen-year-old sister, Caroline, however, was a different matter altogether. She was sorely in need of discipline as a result of having been spoiled by her mother, and was now used to getting whatever she wanted. Unfortunately, when Desiree tried to chastise her, the child inevitably ran to her mama, who then informed Desiree that it was her job to teach her ch
ildren, not to discipline them. Hence, it was not long after her arrival that Desiree knew she had made a dreadful mistake.
Still, there was nothing she could do about it now. She could hardly turn around and ask Lady Charlton to take her back. Nor would she go back if she'd been given the choice. Because the problem which had caused her to leave would be the same. Sebastian would still be there. He would still call at the house whenever he felt so inclined, and he would continue to smile at her in that special way that set Desiree's heart to racing.
And foolishly, she would continue to hope that one day he might see her as something other than the young woman he had discovered swimming in the Steep Wood pool. A woman he had brought to London to be his mistress, only to think better of it once he had discovered her connections.
But she knew it was unlikely that he would. He might even now be engaged to the Lady Alice Mackenzie. Lady Charlton might have already forgotten about her and be busy making wedding preparations, excited at the prospect of her beloved nephew finally settling down to married life.
It was that thought more than any that made life tolerable for Desiree at Banksburgh House. Because the thought of the alternative, of having to see Sebastian every day, and to hear him talk about the woman he loved and was soon to marry, would have been far more destructive to her happiness than anything the parsimonious Mr Clyde and his family could do.
* * *
'But did she give you no indication as to where she was going?' Sebastian dragged his hand through his hair again, sending it even further into disarray, as he turned to face his aunt. 'She must have said something!'
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