by Jaclyn Quinn
Jake looked relieved, and the left side of his mouth lifted in a half smile. It was then Eli realized Jake had been preparing himself for Eli to say no. It was strange to be on the receiving end of that question. This time, it was Eli being asked to stay, and Jake bracing himself for rejection. And yet, Eli didn’t find any satisfaction in it because Jake had faced too much pain in the last week.
“I think I’m good with everything you already picked up for me this week. That guest bedroom doesn’t have a huge closet.” Jake had told Eli that the boys had been sleeping in their parents’ bed since the accident happened. Eventually, they’d all have to figure out how to move on, but that would have to be something Jake figured out with them.
Eli nodded his head. They both turned toward the stairs when Dylan came back down. It wasn’t until the boy looked at their hands that Eli realized Jake was still holding his. He slowly pulled his hand out of Jake’s as Dylan came over and stood in front of his uncle. He looked up at Eli skeptically, like he was trying to figure him out. Eli almost laughed at the protective way Dylan placed himself in between Eli and Jake. But he didn’t get the sense that the boy didn’t like him. He was just cautious, and rightfully so since he barely knew Eli.
Eli glanced at Jake. “I’ll be back in a bit. I’ll stop and get the pizza too.” Then he looked back down at Dylan. “What do you like on your pizza?” When Dylan only shrugged, Eli said, “Anchovies and pineapple it is, then.”
Dylan scrunched up his nose. “Gross.”
Eli chuckled. “Then you gotta help me out here. Otherwise, I’ll be forced to get the fishy fruit special.”
Dylan gave him another skeptical look with narrowed eyes. “Do they really have a fishy fruit special?”
“God, I hope not.” Eli scrunched his face in disgust, and finally, the boy cracked a smile.
“Pepperoni,” Dylan said. “Nick likes that too.”
Eli nodded. “You got it.” When he looked back up at Jake, the man had a strange look in his eyes. “I already know you like pepperoni.” He knew a lot of things about the guy that were of little to no importance…only the things that Jake allowed him to know. Yet, there’s still so much you don’t know, he reminded himself. Jake nodded his head, and it felt like he was agreeing with the thought Eli had just had. And even though he knew Jake couldn’t possibly know what he’d been thinking, it sent a pang of hurt through him anyway. “I shouldn’t be too long.”
“Yeah, okay. Thanks, Eli.”
It was about an hour later when Jake heard the doorbell. Just opening the door and seeing Eli on the other side sent a sense of immense relief coursing through him. He pulled the door open wider for Eli to pass through, taking the bag of snacks and soda out of his hand. By the time Eli walked into the kitchen and placed the pizza box down on the counter, Dylan was at Jake’s side again. At this point, he was lucky the kid let him take a piss by himself. He looked down at his nephew and couldn’t help but smile at the knowledge that, somehow, being near Jake comforted Dylan.
Dylan scrunched up his nose. “You didn’t get the fishy fruit special, did you?” If Jake didn’t know any better, he’d have thought Dylan was actually hoping Eli had gotten the disgusting pizza.
Eli turned, smiling. “Nah, they were all sold out.” He walked over and took the bag out of Jake’s hand. “So, I’m wondering…are you anything like your uncle?”
“What do ya mean?” Dylan asked, leaving Jake’s side and hopping up onto a stool at the counter.
“Well, this guy,” Eli hiked a thumb at Jake, “has a weakness for Cheetos. Goes through a coupla bags a week.”
Dylan nodded his head vigorously. “I love Cheetos.”
“Good thing I got a few bags then.” Eli pulled three packages of Cheetos out of the bag and a two-liter bottle of Coke. “Then I was thinking…cookies.”
A smile morphed on Dylan’s face. “Cookies?”
“Yeah. You know, the break-and-bake kind? I don’t know where any of the pans are though.”
“I know where they are.” Dylan got down off the stool and walked around the counter.
Eli looked up at Jake and nudged his head, looking up at the ceiling. Go, he mouthed.
Right. Nick.
Eli gave Jake a slight smile then looked down at the counter when Dylan put a cookie sheet in front of him. “Awesome. Okay, so what does the oven need to go on?”
Jake turned on his heel and headed up the stairs. He paused outside of Nick’s door for a second before knocking. When no response came, he tried again.
“What?” Nick’s voice was muffled through the door.
“Can I come in?”
“I don’t care.”
Better than no, I guess.
Jake opened the door and tried to focus his eyes. The curtains were pulled shut and all the lights were off. “I’m turning the light on, so be prepared.” He flipped the switch, looking over in the direction of the bed. Nick lay under the covers, but it looked like he still had the clothes from the funeral on. His arm was flung over his eyes, shielding them from the light. “There’s pizza downstairs.”
“I’m not—”
“Hungry,” Jake finished for him. “Yeah, I know. Humor me.” Nick huffed, rolling away from Jake. “Nick, you have to eat something.”
“No, I don’t.”
Jake pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his aching eyes, swearing under his breath. It had been the same argument all week, and the last thing Jake wanted to do was argue with the kid. But if he didn’t put a stop to this now, it was only going to get worse.
“I said get up, Nick. I let you hide out up here all day, but now you need to eat something.” When Nick still didn’t move, Jake crossed the room and pulled back the covers on the bed. “Let’s go.”
Nick turned his head and gave Jake a look that could kill. He got out of bed, mumbling under his breath about how Jake was stupid and he wasn’t hungry. Once he heard Nick on the stairs, Jake exhaled a heavy breath and sat down on the small bed. “What the fuck?” Jake lifted his left leg when it landed on something hard and sharp. He reached under the blanket and pulled out an antique-gold frame. “Shit.” He stared at Kevin and Maggie’s wedding photo. He hung his head back and groaned then leaned his elbow on his thigh as he stared at the picture. “Way to go, Jake.”
I don’t know how to do this, Kevin.
“How’s he doing?” Parker sat with his laptop on the wine-red couch at Inkubus. “I know he says he’s okay, but his life did a one-eighty overnight.”
Thursdays were quiet in the shop, especially if it was a rainy day like today. It wasn’t unusual for Parker to bring his work and sit there for hours. The guy wasn’t much for solitude. They’d all had a pretty slow day, and right now, only Eli, Parker, Ryder, and Kenz were there.
Eli sat behind the register, mindlessly spinning a pen around on the counter. “I don’t know. I feel like he’s kinda pushed his own pain aside because now he has the boys to think about, ya know?” He got up and walked over to the window, staring out at the dark, dreary sky. Cars splashed by in the pouring rain on the busy street. “He had a meeting yesterday with Dylan’s teacher and principal. Today, he had to meet with Nick’s teachers and principal after school.” Eli rubbed the back of his head then crossed his arms over his chest. “Dylan’s teacher told Jake to just give him time. He’s been pretty attached to Jake since it happened. And Nick…he’s so angry. I wish there was more I could do.” He sighed heavily then turned around. All his friends were staring at him with strange looks on their faces. “What?”
Kenz gave nervous glances to the rest of the guys then looked back at Eli. “You know we know, right?” she asked, taking the seat Eli had just vacated.
Eli gripped the back of his neck with one hand and shoved the other in his pocket. “Yeah, I figured.” He’d gone to his parents’ house so quickly after the night Chris took him out, and then the accident happened. In the back of his mind, he was hoping his friends would just let it go…ignore the fight Jake and
Eli had in the shop.
Ryder lifted his head up from the drawing he’d been working on to look at Eli. “So, what’s the deal?”
No such luck.
“There is no deal.” Eli turned back to the window. “Not anymore, at least.”
“So, we’re all just supposed to ignore the elephant in the room?” Kenz asked in a clipped tone.
“Drop it, Kenz.” Of course, in no way did Eli expect Kenz to listen.
“I don’t want you to get hurt.”
At the sincerity in her voice, Eli turned around and again found all eyes on him. “I’m a big boy; I can take care of myself. I know he doesn’t feel the same way.” He walked over to the couch and slumped down into the dark red-leather cushions. “Trust me; he’s made that perfectly clear.” He leaned his head back on the soft leather and closed his eyes. “I’m done waitin’ on someone who’s never gonna want me back.”
“I hear ya,” Parker mumbled under his breath. Eli opened his eyes briefly and looked at his friend. He knew there was someone in Parker’s past; someone he’d rather forget. Parker had never offered details, so Eli never asked for them. He was a good-looking guy. His reddish-brown hair was a mess from the rain. He was shorter and slimmer than Eli, with lean muscle sporadically covered in ink. He looked over at Eli sympathetically, like he really did know how it felt to get tossed aside. Too bad there was nothing there other than friendship.
“Damn, Eli. I didn’t think you were that gullible,” Kenz said and Eli’s head shot up. Yeah, he’d thought he was gullible for falling for Jake’s bullshit, but to have it thrown in his face? Well, that fucking hurt. “You seriously believe him when he says he doesn’t want more?”
Huh? “Huh?”
He stared blankly at Kenz and she just shook her head, clearly frustrated. “Eli, have you seen the new addition to the shop?” Kenz stepped to the side and used both hands like she was Vanna fucking White to draw his attention to the hole in the wall.
“Damn, he was so pissed that day.” Ryder chuckled.
“Well, yeah. We’d just had it out.”
“Ha!” Ryder barked out. “I’m shit at relationships, and even I know it wasn’t because of that.”
Eli rubbed the center of his chest, trying to push down the hope that was flaring. Don’t go down that road again, Eli.
“We all must be blind because I know I never noticed it before.” Kenz sat back down, her short legs hanging off the stool.
“Noticed what?” Eli sat up and leaned his forearms on his thighs, letting his head fall forward. He was exhausted from the events of the last two weeks, exhausted from worry…just…exhausted.
“The way he looks at you.”
Eli’s head shot back up as he looked at Kenz. She nodded her head before he even had the chance to argue. Eli looked at Ryder and then Parker, seeing the same confirmation in their eyes. “Guys, I can’t—” Eli’s phone buzzed in his pocket with an incoming call. When he saw the number on the screen, he kicked himself for his lack of willpower and answered. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Jake sounded as exhausted as Eli felt. “Can you… Do you think you can do me a favor?”
“What’s up?” Eli could feel his friends staring at him, but he ignored them all.
“The meeting is going longer than I expected at Nick’s school, Nina and Stan have plans at four, and I still have to stop at the store because we’re completely out of milk and toilet paper.” He paused. “You’re the only one besides them who I think Dylan would be okay with. Nick will probably just hide out in his room.”
“Yeah, I can be over there in ten minutes.”
Jake heaved a sigh of relief. “Thanks, man. Oh shit, wait…do you have a client? I didn’t even think about that.” And that right there was proof of how crazy Jake’s life had become. Inkubus was everything to Jake. He knew what was happening there on a daily basis, including all scheduled appointments. Now, he seemed so far removed from it all.
“No, I was just gonna hang out for a while and close up, but…” Eli looked up and got a confirming nod from Ryder, “Ryder can handle it.”
“Thanks. I gotta go back into the meeting.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll see you later.” Eli ended the call then stood up, avoiding the looks coming from his friends. “So, ah, you guys need anything before I go?” When they didn’t answer he headed back to his station, grabbed his keys out of the drawer, and then strode back up front.
Before he opened the door, Kenz yelled out, “Hey, Eli?” Eli turned and met her eyes. “Trust in the hole.”
Eli and the guys gave each other looks like she’d lost her mind, and they laughed. “What?”
Kenz smirked and nudged her head toward the hole in the wall. “He’s full of shit, and you’re not gullible.”
Eli stared at his friend and damned if that hope wasn’t trying to force its way out. He nodded his head and smiled then opened the door and rushed out into the rain.
Jake opened the front door and heard music coming from the family room. He knew just from the sounds that they were watching Spider-Man again. At least Eli was the one sitting through the movie this time. Jake had had his fill over the last week.
When he turned the corner into the room, he felt a pang of disappointment. A small part of him was hoping Nick would be in there with Eli and Dylan; that maybe he’d come out of his funk.
Eli looked up and noticed Jake standing in the doorway. He leaned over to Dylan and whispered something to which Dylan nodded in response. Eli got up and walked over to Jake, and for a minute, Dylan watched them, as if he was making sure they both stayed where he could see them. Once he seemed satisfied that they weren’t going anywhere, he turned his attention back to the movie.
“How’d it go?” Jake’s voice was barely audible as he turned his attention toward Dylan. He turned back to Eli and… Shit. Something happened.
Eli put his hands up as if to prepare Jake. “He’s okay now…but when I first got here instead of you…he kinda freaked out.” Eli glanced at Dylan then back at Jake. “The last time Nina and Stan watched him…”
Kevin and Maggie died. “Oh, fuck.” Jake closed his eyes and shook his head, so fucking pissed at himself. “What the hell was I thinking?”
Eli grabbed Jake’s arm to keep him from walking away. “Hey. You were thinking the meeting with Nick’s school was important, because it was. It didn’t take him long to calm down, and now he knows, when he sees me, it’s just because I’m your friend and you’re running late.”
The word friend sank like a rock to the pit of Jake’s stomach.
“Seriously, Jake. He’s fine.”
Their bodies were so close together, both of them talking in hushed tones so Dylan wouldn’t hear. Jake took a small step closer and watched Eli’s eyes dilate to a dark emerald. There was so much energy sparking between them. Too much for the label friend to carry. There was no denying that Eli was different than any man Jake had ever been with. Jake glanced down at Eli’s mouth and could remember exactly what it tasted like. As if Eli was remembering too, he licked his lips.
“Uncle J? Can we eat soon? I’m hungry.”
At the sound of Dylan’s voice, Eli immediately stepped back, rubbing his hands on his jean-covered thighs. He released a shaky breath and took one more step back. They locked eyes for a minute until Dylan mentioned dinner for the second time.
With that, Eli seemed to snap out of it. “Got any jarred sauce and pasta? That’s pretty quick and easy.”
Jake cleared his throat and nodded. “Yeah. There should be some in the cabinet.”
He started for the kitchen when Eli grabbed his arm again. “I got it. Go spend time with Dylan.”
Jake nodded his thanks and went into the family room to sit by his nephew. “You’re not sick of this movie yet?”
Dylan shrugged his shoulders but kept his eyes on the screen. Jake settled back against the couch, feeling the day weigh on him. The meeting with Nick’s teachers was worse than he thought it was
going to be. Now he had to figure out what to do about it all.
“Spider-Man’s mom and dad died,” Dylan said in a small voice. He looked at Jake out of the corner of his eye then back at the movie.
You fucked up again, Jake. Christ. He’d never even made that connection about the movie. Hell, he knew that. He searched his brain for something to say, and all he came up with was, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Dylan continued to stare at the screen and began playing with the bottom hem of his green T-shirt. Jake settled back and stared at the actors, not really seeing what was in front of him. Every step he took, he wondered if he was doing right by those kids. It had only been less than two weeks, for fuck’s sake. He still had years ahead of him that he needed to get right, and he was already fucking up.
“His aunt takes care of him.” Dylan glanced at Jake again then averted his eyes. “I guess…I mean…if I can’t be with Mom and Dad,” his bottom lip quivered, “I know you’ll still be here, right?”
“Jesus, kid.” Jake’s voice cracked, and he wrapped his arms around his nephew and held on tight. “I’m not goin’ anywhere. You’re stuck with me.”
He could feel Dylan nod his head against his chest. It killed Jake every time Dylan cried over the loss, but he knew it was healthy for him. He was letting his feelings out in the only way he knew how. If only Nick would do the same.
Jake tried to remember how it used to be between him and his nephews. It felt like a lot more than two weeks had gone by. Seemed like just yesterday they were laughing and eating junk food on the beach. His role was changing, and he knew that, but there was no reason their relationship had to become completely unrecognizable.
“I’m warning you now, my farts reek after I eat eggs,” Jake said.
Dylan busted out laughing, and pulled away, wiping his tears from his face. “Yeah, well my feet stink.”
“Oh, trust me, I know.” Jake looked at the offending feet and made a barfing face.
“Hey! They’re not that bad.” Dylan lifted his foot, took a whiff, and gagged. “Just kidding. They are bad.”