by Jaclyn Quinn
“Yeah, Nina is picking up all the pumpkins with Stan tomorrow morning.”
“Hey, Novak, is Avery gonna be there?” Ryder wiggled his eyebrows.
“Yeah, he’ll be there, but I doubt he’ll be happy to see you. Guy doesn’t seem to like you much.” Jake snickered and slapped Ryder on the back.
“I don’t know what the fuck that’s about, but man, when he wears those suits? Game fucking on.” Ryder rubbed his hands together and they all laughed.
“Man, I can’t wait to see you crash and burn,” Kenz teased. “Novak, you got a fire extinguisher at your house?”
“Who says I’m gonna crash and burn?” Ryder asked, looking entirely too smug. Jake, Eli, and Kenz all raised their hands. “Assholes.”
The bells above the door rang as one of Eli’s regulars came in. “Hey, Charlie.” Her name was actually Charlotte, but she informed Eli at their first appointment that if he ever called her that, she’d cut off his balls. So, yeah, Charlie it was.
“Hey, Eli,” she replied, but as usual, she searched out Kenz. The woman was badass and had a Ruby Rose thing going for her. Her short dark hair was shorter on the sides while the longer section on top swept back in a pompadour style. Even Eli could admit the woman was hot as hell with her tall, thin frame, tight jeans, and black leather jacket. And every time she came in, Kenz lost all her fire and confidence and hid out in her station.
By the time Eli turned around to walk Charlie back, Kenz had disappeared, most likely to her own room.
Once they were in his space, Charlie asked, “What’s her deal?” as she took off her leather jacket and shirt and stood there in her black lace bra like it was no big thing. To Eli, it really wasn’t. Some clients had no problem stripping down to make it easier for him to do his work, especially because they were blocked off in the room.
“Kenz?”
“Yeah, I mean, she single or what?” Charlie took off her bra and tossed it on the chair then put her hands on her hips.
Eli laughed and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. He looked back at her and pointed to her as she stood there naked from the waist up. “Maybe she oughta be doing your back piece.”
She looked down then looked back up with a wicked grin. “Maybe.”
After he prepped her skin and applied the stencil, he told her to lay down. Eli moved his stool next to her with his foot and sat down to start working.
It took a couple of hours for Eli to finish the first session. Charlie didn’t usually like to sit for more than that; she was too antsy. They went up to the front of the shop, still no Kenz in sight. Before Charlie made her next appointment with Eli, she told him, “Make sure it’s a day she’s here.”
Eli smirked and nodded. “I have a feeling she doesn’t stand a chance.”
Charlie smiled wickedly, turned toward the door, and then said over her shoulder, “There won’t be any standing once I get my hands on her.” She winked and pushed the door open, walking out onto the sidewalk, then darted across the street.
“Hot damn,” Ryder said loudly, leaning his elbows on the counter.
Kenz came out of her room a few minutes later, her ear buds in, and stopped short when she saw Eli and Ryder staring at her. She yanked the buds out of her ears and scowled. “What?”
Both men snickered as Eli innocently responded, “Oh, nothing.”
“You guys are fucking weird,” she muttered.
“Who stole my scooper thingy?” Jake growled and looked around the table.
“'Scooper thingy’?” Eli repeated as he laughed at Jake.
“Yeah, you know the— Ryder, if you steal my scooper thingy one more time, I’m gonna knock you out.” Jake yanked the tool out of Ryder’s hand, grumbling as he stuck his hand inside his pumpkin and began scraping the inside.
“Come on! No one told me we were supposed to buy our own tools!” Ryder complained.
“Yes, we did,” Eli, Jake, Parker, and Kenz said in unison.
Ryder completely ignored them. “Hey, Avery, you got a tool I could use?” He made an obvious show of looking Avery up and down, hooking his thumbs in the black suspenders he had on. Thank God, the boys were at the counter, completely oblivious as they concentrated on their pumpkins.
Jake smacked Ryder on the back of the head for all the innuendo he threw around in front of the boys. “Behave.”
“You all need to stop hitting me on the back of my damn head. And you better not have had pumpkin guts on your hand,” Ryder grumbled, brushing his hand down his blond hair. Then he looked back at Avery. “So?”
Avery stood with his arms crossed over his chest, a wide stance, and a fuck-you glare aimed right at Ryder. “See, I’d let you use my tool, but you’d probably be all selfish, use it for what you needed, and I’d get nothing in return…seeing as how you have no tools.”
Ryder furrowed his brow. “Whatever, dude. So, can I use it, or what?” He got a shake of Avery’s head and a roll of his eyes before he went back to his own pumpkin.
“Here, Ryder. I ran home and got mine.” Nina handed Ryder the carving kit. “Now, stop stealing everyone else’s. You’re running out of time.”
Ryder’s face softened, a pink tinge setting in as he pushed his black frames up his nose and smiled. “Thanks, Nina.” He bent down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. It was a side of Ryder Jake had never seen before. Nina seemed to have that effect on everyone in the group.
She patted his cheek. “Thirty minutes left.”
“Right.” He went back to his pumpkin and started gutting it.
A little more than half an hour later, Nick stood on a chair in the kitchen. He held up the bag of Halloween candy Nina put together and wiped away fake tears. “I’d like to thank Uncle J, whose face I used as a model for my scary jack-o-lantern.”
“Hey!” Jake yelled before he wrapped an arm around Nick and swung him down from the chair. “Brat.” Nick gave Dylan a high-five, both in hysterics.
Parker looked back and forth between Nick’s pumpkin and Jake’s face, with a raised brow. “Yup, I see it.”
“Shut up.” Jake laughed, pushing Parker’s arm.
Eli snickered while he crossed the kitchen and opened the laundry room door, grabbing a few garbage bags from the shelf to clean up the mess. When he turned around, Jake blocked the doorway, a hand on either side of the frame.
“What are you doing, Novak?” Eli watched as the smile fell from Jake’s face.
“Don’t call me that,” Jake warned so low, so threatening, it had Eli’s cock twitching in his jeans.
“What? Novak?”
Jake entered the room and backed Eli up against the counter—the same one Jake had sucked him off on. “I’m not stupid, Eli. I know you call me that when you’re putting up a wall.”
Eli glanced toward the open door. “Someone’s gonna see.”
“See what?” Jake slid his hand down between Eli’s legs. “My hand on your cock? How fucking hard you get for me?”
Eli closed his eyes and took a deep, ragged breath. “For fuck’s sake.”
“Say it,” Jake growled, squeezing Eli’s cock.
Eli grabbed Jake’s hand, but instead of pushing it away, he pressed it harder over his erection. A kitchen chair scraped across the floor, and Eli’s eyes shot open. “Shit!” he whispered harshly.
“Say. It.” Jake stroked, pressing his thumb over the head of Eli’s dick, making him hiss.
“Jake,” Eli said through clenched teeth.
Jake looked down at Eli’s obvious predicament. “Can’t go out there like that, now can you?”
“You’re such an asshole.” Eli’s eyes were spitting fire, but he pushed his hips forward and rubbed his erection against Jake’s leg.
“Before you make it so neither one of us can go back out there, let me go get rid of everyone.” He snatched the garbage bags out of Eli’s hand.
Eli grabbed Jake’s arm as he turned to leave. “You forget, your nephews will still be here.”
“I didn’t forg
et anything. I didn’t tell you? They’re staying at their Uncle Avery’s tonight.” Jake couldn’t help but laugh at Eli’s shocked face, so he added, “And they know.”
“About sleeping at Avery’s?”
“About us.” Jake felt fucking victorious as he watched Eli’s eyes get wider. “Be right back.”
Eli’s head fell back and he groaned. Jake was making it damn near impossible to stay away from him. What the hell did Jake think he was doing? This wasn’t a fucking game. The longer he waited in the laundry room for the place to clear out, the more pissed off he got. He flexed his fists and paced the tiny room.
“All clear!” Jake yelled.
Eli stormed out of the laundry room, blood fucking boiling, and had the satisfaction of seeing the smug look slide from Jake’s face. “I put up a damn wall? Are you fucking kidding me?” He shoved Jake hard, and the guy took a couple steps back, his eyes wide. “I’ve been telling you I want more for almost a fucking year. A year, Novak!” Eli was breathing hard, his hands shaking. “Do you think this is a fucking game?”
“No! Of course I don’t! And I said don’t fucking call me that!” Jake shouted back.
“I swore I wasn’t gonna let this happen again.” Eli hit his hand against his chest. “I let my guard down because I couldn’t stand what happened to you. I couldn’t stand to see you in pain.”
Jake kicked over the wooden chair that was between them, knocking it out of the way, and stepped right into Eli’s space. “Are you saying you’re here right now because you feel sorry for me? Because I don’t fucking buy it.”
Eli didn’t back down. He faced off with Jake, nostrils flaring. “No. I’m saying the only reason I’m here right now is because you needed something to take your mind off everything else going on in your life, and I was fucking convenient.” Eli stared at him as Jake took a step back and shook his head.
Eli hung his head, taking a few deep breaths. When he raised his head again to look at Jake, the fire had gone down some. All he was left with was a feeling of defeat. With a deep, steady voice, he said, “I can’t be that person for you anymore because I’ll always want more, and you never will.” Eli pointed to the front door; the door the kids had left through only fifteen minutes ago. “And now I’m wanting things I don’t have a right to. I want to be in those kids’ lives. I want to be there for them.” Eli sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I want too many things I can’t have.” Eli exhaled then turned and walked to the foyer.
He had his hand on the door when he heard Jake’s baritone voice. “You’re right.” And, damn, that fucking hurt. “I have been pushing you away.” Eli faced Jake and leaned back against the door. Jake took a couple strides and sat down on the steps in front of him. He bent forward, his biceps flexing as he leaned his forearms on his thick thighs, and looked at Eli. Would Eli always feel his resolve fading when he looked into those chocolate brown eyes? Eyes that, right now, were filled with so much agony.
“Yeah, you have.”
“And I haven’t been honest with you,” Jake added.
Eli sucked in a breath. “What do you mean?”
“You’re not here right now because you’re convenient.” Jake took a deep breath. “You’re here right now because I don’t want to lose you. And I don’t fucking mean in my bed or even as my friend. If someone told me a couple of months ago that I’d have kids, or live in a fucking Colonial, or be part of a pumpkin carving contest, for fuck’s sake, I would’ve laughed in their face. Because even if I tried to picture those things, I was never good enough for the fantasy, never mind the reality.”
“Jake—”
Jake held up his hand. “No, let me say this because it’s long overdue.” Eli nodded his head and kept quiet. “Your life was completely different than mine. I was so fucking lucky that I had Kevin for a brother. He was the only one in my family who accepted me. All I ever heard from my parents was that I wasn’t good enough. I mean, you heard my mom. She wanted it to be me in that car,” he pressed his fist over his heart, “instead of her Kevin. Do you have any idea what that feels like?” Jake’s words were sobering. “I already know the answer to that because I met your family, remember? It was about two months after you and I started fuckin’ around. Your parents, your sister, and her husband and kids all came here, right after New Year’s. And it wasn’t long after they left that I started pulling away.”
Eli had never made the connection before. “Why?”
“Like I said, I couldn’t picture those things in my life, and I knew after meeting your family, you not only would want those things, you deserved them.” Jake let out a humorless laugh. “But I’m a selfish bastard. So, instead of just letting you go, I kept coming back for more, thinking if I set some fucking boundaries, I’d eventually stop wanting you so damn badly.”
Eli didn’t know how to feel about that because even though Jake couldn’t completely give Eli up… “That’s why you fucked all those guys?”
Jake shook his head. “Eli, think about it, man. More often than not I ended up in front of your door. The rest of the time I was home. Alone.”
“But Ryder…?”
“Ryder had no fucking clue. You know him. Doesn’t take him very long to go after his target. He always left before me. The next day, he’d ask about my night, and I’d either make shit up…or tell him, but he’d have no fucking idea I was talking about you.”
“It was all a lie? Do you have any idea what that did to me?” Eli’s heart was racing. He’d beat himself up for so many months, thinking he was a last resort. He didn’t fuck anyone else. That means something.
“Eli, I’m sorry, for so many fucked-up things I did and said. No matter what I do, when it comes to you, I screw things up. That only validates that you deserve someone better. The way you’ve been here for me and the boys…I don’t know how to repay you for that. And selfishly, I leaned on you because it gave me a reason for needing you so damn badly. It gave me a reason for why I can’t seem to let you go.”
Eli’s head was spinning. “I’m just…I’m just so fucking confused.”
Jake stood up. “Let me make it clear then. I’m not running anymore. I want all of it. That includes the boys, this house, this life, and you.” He gripped the back of his neck and sighed, chuckling. “This is not how I thought this night would go.”
“Tell me about it,” Eli agreed and looked down at his feet. He exhaled, bringing his gaze back up to Jake. “Look, I need some time to wrap my head around this. I think it’s better if I just…” He hiked a thumb toward the door. “I’m gonna go.”
Disappointment covered Jake’s face as he nodded. “I know I gave you a lot to think about.” Jake gripped the back of his neck. “I’m fucking exhausted. I think I’m gonna turn in. Do me a favor and lock the door behind you?”
“Yeah, no problem.” Eli opened the front door. He watched Jake go up the stairs then stepped out the front door and locked it behind him with the key Jake had given him. He didn’t really need it on nights that he watched Dylan, but he had one, just in case.
He got in his car and sat there for a minute, staring blankly at the dark road in front of him.
“…you deserve someone better.”
“…I can’t seem to let you go.”
“…I don’t want to lose you.”
Eli groaned, leaning his forehead on the steering wheel. He took a couple deep breaths, stared at the light coming from upstairs in the house then started his car. Go home, Eli.
Jake went into the guest bedroom and sat down on the bed. He looked around the small room at the flowery décor and the girly comforter on the full-sized bed with matching pillows. Man, he couldn’t wait to get his shit from his place. So many things were changing, but it scared him to think the changes were coming too little, too late for Eli.
He had every right to walk away, and the only person to blame was Jake. He’d been such a fucking coward for so damn long. He never knew how badly he wanted all of it until he’d had no
choice but to take it. And the worst part was, if all the awful shit hadn’t happened, would he even have the balls to go after Eli? Now that he had the boys and was living this life he always thought wasn’t for him, he was starting to think maybe he could have Eli too.
He couldn’t deny it anymore. He wanted him so damn badly. Always had.
The whole thing was such a fucking mess that he’d created. Yet, seeing Eli with the boys, seeing how he already loved them, there was no going back now—for any of them. So all he could do was wait and hope like hell that Eli didn’t give up on him.
Jake stood, stretching his arms over his head. He grabbed a pair of boxer briefs out of his drawer and padded down the hallway to the bathroom. Pulling the curtain back, he started the shower. The small room filled with steam pretty quickly as Jake stripped down and stepped into the tub, pulling the curtain closed behind him. Standing under the hot water, he leaned his hands on the tile, his head hanging in exhaustion as rivers trailed down his back.
When the curtain pulled back, Jake’s head shot up. “Eli…”
Eli’s stare was intense, his breathing fast and shallow. “You sure you want all of it?” He yanked his shirt over his head. “Because I can’t go through this shit again.” He unbuttoned his pants, and the fact that he continued to undress, before Jake even had a chance to answer, showed Jake just how much faith Eli still had in him.
“I’m so damn sure, Eli. I’m sorry. I—” Eli stepped into the shower, crushing his mouth on Jake’s as he backed him against the tile wall. Jake felt the tension release from his aching muscles. Eli always had that calming effect on him. Eli pressed his wet, naked body against Jake’s, and Jake immediately wrapped his arms around him. He’d never let him go again, if he could help it. And, wow, that thought almost floored him.
The relief he felt that Eli didn’t leave was staggering. He’d come to depend on him so much, but the need for him was stronger than anything else. Jake needed him.
He grabbed the body wash and put some in his hand, gliding it all over Eli’s smooth, tattooed skin, washing him. He’d never wanted to take care of someone before, but Eli wasn’t just someone.