Wade snorted and asked, “Do you think he has that power over you? Over your life? You’ve been dealing with this gift on your own for the majority of your life and I’ll be honest, you’ve done a hell of a job. Do you really think anything he has to say will change how you feel?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to read it.” Wade stated the obvious, the exact same thought I’d toyed with every day I had the damn letter in my possession. The idea to just burn it and be done. Never know what he had to say.
“I’ve thought about it,” I admitted, tapping the envelope on my knee.
“But?”
“I don’t want to be the person that ignores someone’s dying words. Seems kinda shitty, you know?” A small laugh escaped from me. “Doesn’t seem like something I would normally worry about, does it?”
“Honestly, no.” Wade informed me, before bumping my leg with his. “However, I get where you’re coming from. I can see the conflict in you.” His next words were matter of fact. “Read the letter, give yourself the closure.”
He stood up and walked to the stairs leading to his small apartment above the store. He paused and turned back toward me.
“It’s not the same, but I would have given anything for a last letter from my grandmother. Wanting to acknowledge a person’s last words when they’ve never done anything for you….you have a good heart, Addie.” He drummed his fingers against the wall restlessly. “I’ll give you some privacy. Some of us need to pack.”
A small smile broke through at his pointed reminder as he disappeared up the stairs and I was left with the letter. Somewhere in the last few days it had become its own entity, a presence in my life that hovered over me uncomfortably. Mom had asked me about it multiple times and Jake didn’t even know of its existence. The implications of which I refused to think about.
“Just do it already,” I growled to myself, ripping the edge of the envelope impatiently. “It only has power you give it. Quit being a little bitch.”
The handwriting was barely legible chicken scratch and only the fact that mine was exactly the same enabled me to read it. I noted he’d written the letter barely a month prior. Right before his death then.
Dear Adaline,
I’m not sure if you go by Adaline or Addie. Your mother called you Addie, but I don’t know if stuck.
Not knowing the name you go by, that’s my fault.
I’m not even sure if you’ll read this, perhaps curiosity will be enough reason. I hope it isn’t a longing for fatherly advice because I’ve proven incapable of being that.
A father.
A lifetime of regrets and it’s only my imminent death that persuades me to admit my many failures. And there are many. You were not the first one I let down in my life, but you are the one I regret the most.
Courage.
It seems a simple thing, but in the moment I never had a lick of it. You’re probably wondering why I left you the family cabin when you’ve never been treated as family. Well, you are. Family that is. I can only hope you’ll do better than me. I’ve left you a mess, a curse passed through the blood, and a family long broken by past mistakes.
I hoped it would pass you by, but a newspaper article I happened to see makes me believe that’s not the case. Your great grandmother called it a gift, but I never saw it as anything more than a curse. A gift implies it gives you something, but it’s only ever taken from me.
I hope your experience is different, that you can wrangle some happiness from life with the burden you carry. Love is a difficult thing when you know the truth of another’s heart. Whether they mean for you to or not.
People will try and use you if they know what you can do. They’ll ask the impossible of you and never care how difficult it is for you. Guard against them. Protect yourself. Don’t let their pain and fear become your own.
Forgive me.
My own bitterness is seeping through.
I left the cabin to you because it once brought me great joy. I hope it will for you as well. There are ghosts there, past mistakes that were never set right. Perhaps you will have the courage where I did not and finally lay them to rest.
I am a flawed man. I hid from the world, from those I loved, and at my death I am alone. You can do better. If I did but one good thing in my life, I hope it was my choice to not be a father to you, to not infect you with my own fear. It was a cowardly choice, but I hope in the end it meant you grew up confidant and secure in yourself. Something I never found.
I don’t know if this will work, but I have to try.
Do you know how much I love you?
Goodbye,
Your father, David
“It worked,” I choked out as tears flooded my eyes.
A lifetime later, Wade handed me a box of Kleenex and I proceeded to use half the box blowing my nose. I sopped my face up, my eyes gritty as I tossed the used Kleenex away.
“He was scared of his gift. He was scared of me, of my mom, of life. I don’t know what his life was like other than incredibly lonely, but I don’t want to be him.”
“Then don’t.”
“You make it sound simple. His ability isolated him.”
“His choice. Not yours.” Wade patted my back uncomfortably. His discomfort was discernable and I didn’t want to mention it but it explained the drop off in business since his grandmother’s death. Wade was not good at the touchy feely part of being a psychic, a necessary component I’d realized. His willingness to try for me though, made my heart swell. “You’ve never let your ability, your gift, keep you from connecting with people. You’ve always been extraordinarily courageous when it comes to using your talent. There are times you could have easily said it wasn’t your problem and walked away, but you didn’t. You’re already way ahead of him, Addie.”
“Am I?” Doubts plagued me. The hesitation I’d shown in using my gift since my coma, the secrets I’d hidden from Jake. They were all a slippery slope to becoming like my father. “Sometimes I feel like I’m going backwards. That I never really used my gift for so long, and now that I am…I can see the cost. The potential pain when something goes wrong. If someone stops loving you. An answer that breaks not only your heart but someone else’s.”
“You’re not alone though. You have Jake, Carly, Connor, Jules, and Danny.” He paused, and his already deep voice deepened even further. “And me. You have me, Addie. And I’ll tell you right now, I get where you’re coming from. I loved someone and watched their love for me die. It’s never easy but it is survivable. Not that I think for one second that will happen with you and Jake. You got some tight ass bonds between the two of you.”
I choked on a laugh as he reiterated a statement I’d heard before. Jake and I were a super couple in Wade’s mind. He flicked the letter still clutched in my hand.
“He loved you. It’s gotta count for something.”
“He did, he truly did,” I replied, his question at the end leaving me with no doubts.
“Then learn from his mistakes and don’t make the same ones.” He stood up from the couch, his tall, lean form shadowing me. “The first step is the cabin. We need to lay those ghosts to rest.”
My eyes flashed to his and he raised an eyebrow at my surprised expression. I shook my head, wondering why I was even surprised at his knack for knowing things.
“He said there were ghosts at the cabin and hoped I had the courage to lay them to rest, unlike him,” I explained, lifting the letter. Wade nodded thoughtfully, seemingly unsurprised by the coincidence of words.
“Did you invite Carly?” The question came out of the blue, but I nodded yes.
“She seemed excited. I left out the part where Danny will be joining us.”
“He is?” Wade questioned and I realized I hadn’t mentioned Danny’s soon to be lack of a job to them.
“Yeah.” My short response told him to let it go and he did. He was already well acquainted with my dislike of discussing other people’s secrets.
“Well, it should make for an interesting two weeks.”
I smiled ruefully. “Knowing Carly, no doubt.” I stood up, stretching to loosen the muscles from sitting for so long. “I guess I should go and pack. Jake is bringing his dad’s boat. Hopefully, we’ll get a chance to use it.”
Wade gazed at the walls of the office thoughtfully, the rows of sketches framed and patiently waiting.
“I have a feeling we’ll solve this mystery quickly. It seems like we were destined to go there.”
“It does seem that way.” I breathed in the familiar scent of the office, inexplicably at home there. Maybe it had been the first time when I’d met Wade’s grandma and she’d known what I was or the times since then as it became a sanctuary, but this place meant something to me. It wasn’t just the mysteries hanging on the wall, but the sense that I belonged there, that my life was in some way connected with Wade’s and the extraordinary gifts we had.
“We need to talk when we come back.” Wade shuffled his feet, unusually hesitant. “I’ve been thinking about things you said, and maybe it’s time for a change. I’m not my grandmother and never will be. I can’t keep doing the same things and expect to see change. I don’t know what it’ll be yet, but that’s what I’ve got you for.”
His words were a little disjointed but I got the gist of it. Wade was ready to see what he could do, maybe even what we could do together. The drawings on the wall called to me, and I knew whatever was decided they would be the first priority.
“It sounds good,” I answered, letting him off the hook as I headed toward the door. “I’ll see you at the lake.”
It was a two hour drive, but Jake let me pick the music so Carly and I bounced around to Sam Hunt’s latest album to his amusement. Wade respectfully declined the invitation to ride with us, preferring to drive himself. A fact I could hardly blame him for as Carly sang loudly and off key.
Jake drove up to the address I’d keyed into the GPS and we studied the area.
“I expected it to be a lot more overgrown,” he mentioned and I agreed. The driveway had been smooth, no rough potholes and the trees were trimmed back. The cabin looked vacant, but that was expected. What I hadn’t expected was how clean it was. It looked like someone had been by recently to air it out for the summer, but according to the lawyer no one had been in here in years.
“It’s nice,” Carly offered, hopping down from the truck with her bag.
“Yeah, it’s odd,” I replied slowly, trying to figure out what was off. Besides the cabin’s taken care of appearance. It finally dawned on me as I mentally compared the cabin in front of me to the one I’d studied so carefully in the picture I had. At some point since the picture of my dad and his brother had been taken, they’d added on to the cabin. There was now another room on the other side of the porch, balancing the cabin. It perfectly matched Wade’s drawing.
“Someone cleaned it,” Jake commented, lugging our bags to the porch. I jiggled the keys in my hand, suddenly anxious they wouldn’t work and we weren’t supposed to be here.
“I didn’t have anyone clean it and the lawyer didn’t mention anything.” I hesitated as I brought the key to the lock. The porch had been swept and a peek in the windows showed a cared for interior, not what I would be expecting from a cabin abandoned for over twenty years. “I don’t understand.”
“Let’s go inside. Wade will be here shortly. We’ll figure it out.” Jake rested his palm against my waist and I leaned into it briefly before unlocking the door. He was right. There was no point in us standing around out here.
“It’s like a time warp.” Carly spun around the den, taking it all in. “Late seventies, early eighties all the way, baby.” She exaggerated her words, making us laugh and easing some of my tension. She shrugged and mentioned, “Maybe a nice neighbor decided to make you feel welcome. Whoever it was, they have my thanks. I didn’t relish the idea of having to clean it up before we could sleep.”
I nodded heartily in agreement, grateful we wouldn’t need the cleaning supplies I’d packed. I hadn’t had high hopes and prepared accordingly.
“Let’s find the bedrooms. We get dibs for being here first. Wade will just have to suck it.” Carly caroled as she poked her head in from the kitchen. “I mean you get the best of course, but I totally get second best. How many bedrooms does the place have anyway?”
“Four,” I answered absently. “Four bedrooms, three baths.”
“Wow, bigger than I would have expected,” she said in surprise. I’d been surprised myself when the lawyer had told me. I’d thought it might be a small fishing camp, maybe a bed and bath if I was lucky. This place was a lot nicer though. The furniture was dated, but clean and comfortable. I wandered to the broad picture window overlooking the lake. It was a clear view and I noticed the grass had been trimmed recently.
“I want a lake view,” I called out after an exploring Carly. Owning the place had to come with some perks, after all.
Gravel crunching lead me back to the front door and I watched Wade park his car next to the Jake’s pickup. He dragged a duffel bag from the trunk and came up the steps toward me.
“When did you get here?” He asked, looking around. “I would have helped you clean.” His observant eyes had taken in the same things ours had and I shook my head.
“We got here a few minutes ago. Someone else cleaned it,” I told him, holding the door wider for him to come in. His dubious glance made me chuckle. “I have no idea. We’ll sort it out, but I suggest you find a bedroom before Carly calls dibs.” He lifted his eyebrows but only nodded as he went to the right.
A few minutes later, everyone was congregated in the kitchen, unloading the bags of groceries we’d brought with us.
“Fridge is cool. Not cold, but it was turned on recently,” Jake said as he put a carton of milk in.
“I didn’t even think about turning the utilities on,” I cried, slapping my hand on my head as I considered how much it would have sucked if they hadn’t already been on. “It never occurred to me.”
“It occurred to someone. Unless they were never turned off.” Wade mentioned, shoving cereal boxes in the cabinet.
“I’m grateful,” Carly said as she gathered the bags. “I would not have wanted to be here without air conditioning.”
“It’s so strange. Who would have…?” My question was interrupted by a light knock on the door and I glanced at the others in puzzlement. We’d been talking but it wouldn’t have covered the sound of someone driving up on the gravel driveway.
I hopped up from the barstool I was perched on and went to the door, curious as to who would even know we were here. When I opened the door, an older woman met my curious gaze. She was older than my own mother, I estimated based on the lines on her face and the way she held herself. She had soft blonde hair which hid her gray admirably and matching soft blue eyes. Her own gaze was assessing which I found interesting.
“Hi, I’m Joyce, your next door neighbor on the left.” She pointed as she spoke, her distinctive accent marking her as a local. “I wanted to welcome you and let you know if you need anything, anything at all, I’m just a quick walk away.” She thrust a plate of cookies in my hands and glanced behind me. Jake and the others had walked up as she spoke and I could feel her curiosity. I imagine she’d come for the latest gossip to pass around. The community was known to resist newcomers, and I was no exception.
“I’m Addie,” I offered belatedly, realizing I’d yet to introduce myself. “This is my boyfriend, Jake, and our friends, Carly, and Wade.” I nodded to each of them as I said their names and they gave a little wave.
“Such cute couples,” she gushed and from the corner of my eye I saw Carly and Wade step away from each other. I hid my smile since I knew neither had feelings in that direction and refocused my attention on Joyce as she nattered on. “It’s so good to see young blood up here. The place has been so empty without young people to enjoy it. I remember David and Duke were up here every summer until….” She t
railed off with a sickly smile and I knew what she was referring too. “Well, anyway, that’s in the past, you’re a new generation here to enjoy. I never saw a for sale sign or even a rental sign.” She paused and I could tell she was fishing for more information.
“I inherited the property.” I gave her what she was looking for since I’d be doing some fishing of my own soon.
“Oh dear. I knew Ada and Richard passed years ago, but David and Duke?” She didn’t know anything about my dad or uncle I quickly grasped, at least nothing in recent years.
“David was my father. He died and left the cabin to me.” I saw no point in offering any more information than necessary. Whatever happened to Duke was a mystery of its own.
“Oh, you poor dear.” She placed her warm hand over mine and I noticed it was damp with sweat. Not unusual since it was a sweltering ninety degrees outside.
“I forgot my manners, would you like to come in?” I asked stepping back from the door.
“Oh, no.” She shook her head, and glanced back toward her house. “I need to get supper on the table. I just wanted to welcome you.” She moved back a step and it occurred to me that she’d been watching the cabin and maybe she knew who’d cleaned it.
“By any chance, do you know who took care of the place?” I asked, waving my hand. “I didn’t expect it to be so….clean.” I wasn’t sure what word to use because it literally looked as if someone had been caring for it for years.
“Oh, I did.”
I blinked at her answer, for some reason not expecting it at all. “Oh, you did? That’s so kind of you.”
“It was nothing. I was best friends with Ada for years. They came up on summers and our kids grew up together. She planned to retire here. We always looked after each other’s places.” She waved off my stunned expression and trotted down the stairs, as spry as a teenager even though she had to be in her sixties. She was soon out of sight and I closed the door. It shut without a sound, no squeak or swollen wood to make it difficult to close.
Hidden Secrets (The Hidden Series Book 3) Page 7