by C. M. Carpi
The Light
in your
Eyes
C.M. Carpi
Volume I
C. M. Carpi
The Light in your Eyes
Carpi. C. M.,
1st edition
December - 2016
Jaguariúna - São Paulo
original documents preparation: Asè Editorial
cover photo: Marcelo Guarnieri
cover art: Asè Editorial
Review: Vivian Hernandez Alamo
Translation: Catherine Meira
ISBN 978-85-68841-99-0
Copyright © 2016 C. M. Carpi
All rights reserved
No part of this publication may be reproduced, either by electronic, mechanical, photocopying or any kind without prior written consent of the author. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to the names, places and events is purely coincidental.
To grandma Beatriz
Thank you for taking care of me this whole time
None would stand so much bad mood in the morning with a smile on the face
Love you!
Prologue
NORTH CAROLINA, APRIL 2014
I knew it, at the very moment those doors were opened; I knew my life would never be the same again. I needed to let all of my dreams behind. Everything I thought was important and I would have to start living someone else’s dreams. “It shouldn’t be this way” I kept saying it to myself while dozens of curious eyes stared at me.
You can still run away, Elena.
A voice yelled inside my head for days, but today it was particularly motivated.
Shit!
Adam had his arms crossed in front of his body. He was anxiously looking at me with that teenage glimpse. A smile comes to his lips at the very moment he sees me, but his expression changes to astonishment for a moment. He may have realized what I´m up to.
This is the moment.
I took a deep breath, shrugged and tried to apologize. Then I turned around and ran.
I ran away, crossing the small piazza where the church had been restored just a month ago. I left my shoes behind and went straight to the soft sand. I had no idea what to do or where to go. I kept running until I couldn’t hear anything else. Warm tears rolled down my face. I didn’t know if they were tears of relief or sadness.
I ran to the enormous white house with blue windows and crossed the yard where I spent most of my childhood. The sea was easy, wave less. This was a beautiful evening with an incredible orange sunset.
A perfect day to get married, or so I thought, while going inside the house. I couldn’t believe what I had done.
“You could have warned me about your intentions!” ― Grandma shouted while wide-opening the door in the living room.
“I didn’t think about this. It just happened” — I told her exasperated.
“Good lord! Those people will talk about it forever.”
“Are you angry?”
“Angry?” — She said while going to the bar and serving herself with a generous glass of whisky she drank in a sip — “Of course I’m angry! You know how much I hate beauty salons and I spent the entire afternoon there because of a wedding that didn’t happen.”
She wasn’t nervous. Grandma would rather destroy her nails in the garden than spend hours in a beauty parlor listening to gossips. After all, she is seventy years old and she has never had her hair dyed, though it was always well cut thanks to her hairstylist who would come home every twenty days in order to do the job. She went through a lot but she has never lost her adventure spirit. She is the strongest and most intelligent woman I have ever known.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not me you need to apologize to. Moreover, you know I was never an enthusiastic of this marriage.”
Jess was still outside the door laughing as crazy. She is my best friend, the craziest one and just the best.
“Elena, you have proved me a million times you are completely crazy. But this? Now you exceeded all my expectations!” — She couldn’t stop laughing while she was talking.
I was in the middle of the living room trying to unfasten my dress. I had to get rid of it. The clothing seemed too heavy for my body. Grandma was standing beside the bar holding an empty glass while she looked at me. Jess approached as to help me undressing.
“Why did you run, Elena?” — Grandma asked after an apparent trance.
“I panicked when they opened the doors. It was like my legs knew what is better for me.”
“I never thought you were capable of doing this kind of thing” — She laughed and continued – “I should have done it with you grandfather”.
The three of us smiled and she served another glass of whisky. This time for me. I nodded,but she insisted.
“You will need.” — She said while I drank it in a sip.
I wasn’t used to this kind of drink but today it tasted like water.
“I’ll get some clothes for you” — Jess went to the second floor and took the dress along with her.
“What have I done?” — I sat in the couch with nothing but my underwear. Tears were coming to my eyes one more time. — “What have I done, grandma? What was I thinking?”
“Elena…”
“I need to fix this.” — I stood up and started pacing around as to think of a way to solve the situation.”
“Take it.” — Grandma gave me one more glass of whisky, which I drank faster than before.”
“Now you will calm down, honey.”
“I can’t. I’ll go back and… I need my dress. Where is it?”
“Elena…” — Sheheld my shoulders making me stop. Before I could say anything someone hit the door. I startled and grandma told me to go upstairs. I tried to argue but she wouldn’t let me.”
“Elena! Open this damn door! Now!”
Adam.
I ran to my bedroom while my grandmother opened the door but I stopped to listen. Jess joined me.
“Where is she?” — His voice was altered and sad at the same time. That broke my heart. “Where is she, Mrs. Shepherd?”
I had to speak with him, try to apologize if I had how to do it so. He didn’t deserve this. For a moment I thought about changing my mind but I refused the idea as soon as I realized how my life would be if I had married Adam.
“She isn’t here, Adam. And I already told you to call me Grace” — I laughed. In such a moment only she would be capable of saying this.
“Please, Grace. I need to talk to her.”
“Calm down a little and drink this”
“Where.Is. Elena?” — He growled and threw the glass on the wall.
I had to go down there.
“I need to go downstairs, Jess. I need to talk to him.”
“Are you insane?” — She whispered as if she were afraid he could hear us. “He’s so nervous he will kill you.
I understood her concerns. Adam was a tall man with broad shoulders who didn’t seem to have a lot of friends. He still looked like the bully quarterback I fell in love with in high school, but it was his appearance. Deep down he was a wonderful man with a big heart. He would never hurt me even after I hurt him that much.
I dressed my jeans and my old Duke sweatshirt Jess was holding and went downstairs slowly. I stopped to breathe and concentrate all my courage before calling his name.
“Adam?” — I said reluctantly. He looked at me teary eyed. It fe
lt like my heart stopped for a moment. — “Can I speak with you?” — I asked quietly almost in a whisper. I hoped he would yell at me or run furiously towards me, that would be easier. He just lowered his head and followed me to the backyard
NEW YORK, JULY 2014
“I already booked your ticked and the hotel. On Monday you will be in Milan closing this deal.”
“Why do I have to go to Italy?”
“Because you’re the only one who is fluent in Italian.”
“The meeting can be well lead in English” — I answered in my usual bad mood.
My brother nodded and got another document on the table.
“Owen, I’d appreciate it if you or Thomas traveled ” — He looked at me for the first time. He was analyzing the papers since I went in his office and an ironic smile came to his face.
“I can’t leave this place now. Thomas is an excellent manager, but this is our company” — He spoke softly while rubbing his chin.
And here comes the chatter about our family establishing the company thirty years ago and blablabla, but he suddenly stopped.
“Thomas is married with Lucy, our cousin, half of this company is already his. I think it’s time he gets used to these important meetings” — I said trying to look as ironic as I could, just he didn’t care. In fact, it was very difficult to affect Owen.
“Daniel, you’ve spent one year in Milan working with them...” — He started when I suddenly interrupted.
“Seven years ago!” — I got up and started walking around the room. I was lost my temper.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m not going to argue with you. Here’s your First class ticket.”
Owen believed that traveling first class was a waste of money because you’re going to the same destination than economic anyway. But I wouldn’t give it up. I couldn’t bear the idea of traveling in those terrible armchairs in third class while children cried and people walked the halls nonstop.
“The meeting is scheduled for August 12th” — He checked the calendar over the table. — “This give you fifteen days to get ready and do whatever you want to.”
“If this is our company why would you give me orders? I believe I’m able to give my opinion about what’s better for this company and for myself.”
Owen put his pen down over the pile of documents he was analyzing and crossed arms before he started talking. His voice was calm as usually. That made me furious.
“I’m not giving you orders, Daniel. I’m giving you a chance of getting out of here.”
“I can’t leave this place now. Anna is…” — That was his time of interrupting.
“Anna is with her parents and the wedding has been cancelled. You have nothing to do here.”
“She needs me!” — I yelled. He got up and came before me.
“She needs caring. You will only make thing worse.”
Deep down I knew he was right, but I couldn’t accept it. She was my responsibility. I always knew things would be hard between us but I was willing to try. I still am. I own her that.
“Wait until everything is settled and once you come back you can try to make things right. If that’s possible.”
I’m not sure if he was saying that to himself or to me. I didn’t answer. I left the room slamming the door and decided I wouldn’t travel.
On July 28th I boarded the plane to Milan. A trip would change my life again.
Daniel
The city of Verona was the same as fifteen years ago. The streets were filled with tourists from all around the word. They walked together with their respective guides holding little location flags. They took pictures of everything and spoke loudly while they visited the most famous places and ate at the same restaurants. Students were wearing khaki shorts and buskins. They carried huge backpacks and went down the subways in Porta Nuova station coming from all over Italy. The only difference I could see is that today most of them had cell phones to do all sorts of things instead of big cameras around their necks.
While I walked on the streets in search of a hotel I was caught by memories of a time when everything seemed easy and happier. A time when I was really happy. How I missed those times. What the heck was I doing here? Up to the moment I was trying to understand why I took a train to Verona instead of taking a cab and go to the five-star hotel that my brother had booked in Milan.
“I´ll leave tomorrow”, I thought while looking for a decent place to spend the night. I noticed an old hotel beside Verona Arena. Its walls of terracotta were faded by time and partially covered with bindweeds. The windows were green and each of them had white flowers hanging on them. It seemed like an old house in Toscana. There was a sign over the front door saying “vacant rooms”. It wasn’t what I was looking for, but that would do for a night. I was too tired after so much walk carrying my luggage.
I checked in and went to the room on the second floor. Everything was very simple, but pretty neat and tidy. The walls were covered with flowered light green wallpaper. The bed in the middle of the bedroom might be a hundred years old and the bedside table held a little lamp. There was a wardrobe on the other side of the wall and a little table and a chair for meals were placed by the window.
The view was astonishing. I could see the Piazza Brà gaining life as night fell. The bathroom was small, but clean. This was my one requirement: a private bathroom. I couldn’t see myself sharing the bathroom with completely unknown people who came from the most unexpected places. Dear Lord! I was getting too picky and my sister was right about this. I didn’t care about anything when I was eighteen and I spent the whole year traveling. Once I spent two days without a shower because the hostel we were in ran out of water and there was nowhere else to go to. Where was it? I couldn’t remember precisely but I think it was in Paris or Berlin.
After a quick shower I decided to go for a walk. I was starving and the hotel only catered breakfast. While walking I thought about all the things that had happened in my life since the last time I was here and how everything had changed.
And then it happened.
Somebody hit my chest abruptly and fell backwards on the floor when I turned the hall going to the reception desk. I felt a cold dark liquid on my white shirt. But it wasn’t an ordinary shirt; it was a new John Varvatos that I would probably have to throw away.
Perfect! It was everything I needed.
“Sorry!” – The girl seemed ashamed while she sat on the floor. Where did she come from? “It´s nothing” – I sharply said looking at my soaked clothes.
“I was absentminded”.
Don’t tell me! Just be polite Daniel.
“Let me help you.” – I said trying to be kind. I reached out my hand to help her up and that´s the very moment I saw my whole life changing. An electric current passed through my arm at the moment her hand touched mine and I got the goosebumps.
She suddenly pulled her hand and looked deep inside my eyes with a shy smile on her naturally pink lips. I could see something like disbelief on her face. She had beautiful eyes, like enormous emeralds but not this alone called my attention. There was something else in her eyes that made me unable to look away. When she touched my hand once more, the same electricity came through my body again. What the fuck is that?
“Oh shit!” – she said while pointing to my shirt, fast covering her mouth after realizing what she had just said. -- “Sorry”.
I made a sign saying there was no problem, but I couldn’t avoid smiling and so did she. Her smile was breathtaking.
“I can wash it for you.”
“You don’t have to”. – I said in a more comfortable tone.
“Really?” – I nodded and she took a deep breath, as if she was relieved. – “Thank goodness! I had no idea how to do it anyway!” – She shrugged and smiled once again. I opened my mouth as to say something, but the w
ords were gone. Who is this girl?
She started lifting her suitcase and caught her cell phone on the floor. She also caught the huge empty cup of tea that destroyed my shirt.
“Do you want me to help you taking your stuff to your room?”
“Never mind.” – She looked at me once more before walking through the narrow hall to the stairs.
Her dark and tight jeans revealed long well-built legs. She also wore a sleeveless blue shirt that made a perfect contrast with her lightly tan skin. Her brown hair was pulled in a messy bun on the top of her head revealing the soft skin around her long neck.
“Sorry again” – she suddenly turned her head and catching me while I stared at her. “See you around!” And she disappeared going down the stairs.
These words were a promise.
Perhaps I stay here for one or two more days. That’s what I thought while I was going back to my room to change my clothes.
Elena
The day was gorgeous. There were no clouds in the entire blue sky and the sun was shining hard even being the summer summit, it wasn’t as hot as the other days before. It was early in the morning and because of this the streets weren´t full of tourists with their cameras and iPads taking pictures of everything, running to all sides, taking more pictures not giving a damn for the details these places kept. How could they travel like this, with all these rules and schedules? I nodded while a group of Americans passed beside me in line, listening to the middle-aged guide who couldn’t disguise being tired of traveling to the same places.
I spent the entire morning at Castelvecchio. I visited the museum and walked without haste leisurely through Scaligero Bridge, enjoying the magnificent view it provided. I still couldn’t believe I had forgotten my camera at the hotel, but I took good shots with my cell phone.