“I won’t stop school until I’m licensed. My plan is to become a child therapist, but I’ve teased with the idea of going for something like a criminal profiler.”
“Oh.” Disbelief lit his tone. “Now, that is interesting. Does daddy know?”
The smile that came to my face was automatic and he returned my expression with a one of his own. “No. You’re the first person I’ve ever told. I’m not sure how he’d feel about it. He’s stressed for as long as I can remember that I need to go for something respectful. Safe. Stick to an occupation like a doctor or lawyer. FBI wouldn’t impress him.”
“Well I think it sounds cool. And thank you for confiding in me. I don’t blame you for not telling your old man. There’s things mine doesn’t know that I sure as shit wouldn’t want him discovering.”
Without thought, I leaned closer. This guy was more intriguing than I’d first thought. “Like what?”
The nonchalant shrug was followed by him leaning back, again. “Just things.”
What kind of response was that? “I told you a secret. It’s your turn to tell me one.”
“Oh, is that the game we’re playing? Okay.” He nodded for me to get closer. I sighed but moved another few inches toward him. Only then did he lean to the side to get level with my ear. “I almost always do the opposite of what my father says, but I think I’m going to make an exception in this case. I like you.”
My head jerked back and I looked at him. So, he was being put up to this too? And he actually wanted to go through with it? No. Not going to happen. I scooted back, crossing my arms over my chest.
Amusement lit his face while he repositioned himself against the back. “You’re not interested.” I could tell it wasn’t a question, but more of a shocked statement. The sound of his laugh traveled over the water and I looked around nervously for my sister. What was taking them so long? “Wow, now there’s a first. I have to admit, I’m a little upset that you’re against seeing what will become of the two of us. Is it my looks? Are you not into guys? I was told you don’t really date.”
“Your looks have nothing to do with it.” I glanced back at him. “They’re very nice.”
“Then, what?” The way he cocked his head to the side told me he was genuinely interested in my dismissal. And why had I brushed him off so quickly? I’d planned to make it not so obvious. If he told my father, it was bound to make us take a step back. The hard work I’d done to repair our relationship would be wiped out. Why was I so torn on how to handle things?
My mind scrambled for the right things to say. “I’m not completely opposed to getting to know you, I’m just not going to jump into having a formal status with you because that’s what everyone wants. You’re right about one thing. I don’t date. School is my main focus. Plus, I work two jobs, pay my own bills, and I like it that way.”
Jordan studied my face. “Then we have something in common. I don’t let daddy take care of me either. I seriously think we’re going to have a lot more before this is over with. You’ll like me. I know you will.”
“Kind of cocky, aren’t you?” I stood, ready to get out.
“Not cocky. Confident. We’re more alike than you know.”
Water dripped down from by body and I reached over, grabbing my dress. The anger rushing through me came out of nowhere. “You have no idea who I am. Don’t presume anything, because ten to one, you’re wrong.”
The cool air made me shiver as I headed through the door, right into the living room area. White leather couches angled each other giving way to a large flat screen television. I didn’t even pause to look to see what was on it. Bethany glanced up from cutting vegetables, a frown darkening her face.
“Out so soon?”
How could I tell her I’d just probably blown things with the first and only guy our dad had chosen for me? She’d be upset and then this trip would be a complete bust. “Just going to take a shower real quick. I’ll still hang out when I’m finished. Not in the water, though. I don’t want to push the sea sickness thing.”
“I forgot about that.” A piece of carrot flew across the cutting board, swirling before coming to a standstill on the edge. “You’re probably right. Well, head straight back, you’re the second room to the right. You’ll be sharing a restroom with Jordan, but there’s a lock on the inside of the door. You won’t have to worry about anyone invading your privacy.”
“Thanks.” Was she mad? I couldn’t get over the fact that she didn’t look very happy at me leaving Jordan outside.
Water ran down my legs and the air conditioning made me begin to shake. I hurried into my room, more fleeing from my sister’s possible disapproval than freezing to death. Deep red silk with gold embroidery covered the bed. Although it probably resembled elegance to some, the color combination reminded me of lust. Hot, passionate sex full of pain and pleasure. That’s all I saw when I looked at where I was going to be sleeping. Instantly, my body came alive. Shit. It was only the first night. What was I going to do? Getting myself off under this roof wasn’t necessarily something I felt comfortable doing. I’d have to try to contain the cravings as best as I could. Which, from the past, I knew could be a bad thing.
The entrance to the restroom stood open. I grabbed some clothes from my suitcase and didn’t hesitate to lock the adjoining door. The last thing I wanted was Jordan accidently barging in on me. He may be attractive, but I didn’t want him knowing my secrets. Nothing good would come out of introducing him to the real me. If I consented to anyone, it would be to a stranger; someone who didn’t know me, or whose daughter I was. That was the safest way. The only way.
Within minutes, steam filled the entire space. The large mirror that covered half of the wall was completely fogged up. The see-through walls made me nervous, but no one could get in. I would be okay.
Grey marble floors led into the large shower. Designer shampoo and body washes lined the shelf on the wall. My eyes scanned the fragrances including Plumeria, Juniper, but I settled for Vanilla Bean. The moment I slid it across my skin, I instantly regretted it. The scent was so strong it nearly took my breath away. Surely they wouldn’t make it so potent. I turned the bottle around, reading the back.
Apply a small, dime sized amount. I sighed. Figured. The palmful had been way too much. Instead of smelling like a single bean pod, I was going to be walking around like I had the complete vanilla orchard blossoming from my skin.
The bottle swayed as I sat it down. In my haste to catch it, three bottles toppled over, scattering at my feet and sliding around the bottom. “Dammit.” Tonight was just not my night.
A knock had me jerking upright.
“Yes?” I opened the shower door and stuck my head out so I could hear.
“You okay in there?”
Jordan.
Black drowned out the restroom as my lids closed. “I’m fine. Thanks for asking.”
Was he done relaxing in the hot tub already? Why else would he be in his room? Too many questions entered my mind, but I overanalyzed everything. I knew that. I shut the door and pushed them away. He said something, but I ignored it as I hurried with washing my hair. The faster I was out and dressed, the better.
Within minutes, I was sliding on a one piece romper. The black, loose tube top connected at my waist to a pair of flowing pants. My pile of clothes rested against the counter and I reached down, grabbing them. A click filled the space as I unlocked Jordan’s side and rushed into my room, closing myself in. The inside of my bedroom door didn’t have a lock. My mind immediately raced.
Denying that it sent a thrill through me that Jordan might slip in while I slept would be a lie. As twisted as it was that I didn’t want him, I couldn’t help but want it to happen. It was one thing if he approached me with the intent to sleep with me. I knew I’d say no. The thought wasn’t appealing in the least. But doing something as daring as slipping into my bed and waking me with his touch. Now that turned me on.
Will you come? Surprise me and turn out to be some
one you’re not?
Sadness took over. Why was I like this? Most women wouldn’t have that reaction. I’d battled this since my innocence was taken. Since the protector I’d grown up with followed me to my room after swim practice and raped me anally. He hadn’t managed to penetrate me fully before my muffled screams alerted another guard, but still. The damage was done. I’d thrown up from the combination of sheer pain and from the fact of who was hurting the breach of trust. For as long as I could remember, my parents always assured me Thomas would take care of me. They were wrong. From that day on, I was never the same.
Any sense of normalcy had vanished. This caged sex-addict was the person I was now, and somehow I needed to learn how to deal with that. The hate I felt for myself…it left me a complete mess. My brain battled with what was right and what was wrong. Everything opposite of good was what I wanted. Most people referred to normal sex as vanilla. I knew I was the furthest thing from that. If it didn’t involve pain or some sense of wrong, I didn’t want it.
“Mary! Dinner’s ready.”
The annoyance behind Bethany’s tone caused me to take a deep breath. I had to fix this. But, how? Pretend to be interested in Jordan? I didn’t want to lead him on. It might be great to fantasize about some late night rendezvous, but that’s about as far as it went. Relationship wise, I couldn’t see it happening.
Why did I come on this trip again?
Charles sat perched at the mahogany table, already picking at a large salad splayed across what looked to be china. A wooden serving bowl was centered in the middle and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from it. Was this their idea of a meal? I was going to need more than leafy veggies to satisfy my hunger. Meat. That’s what I needed.
Plates were already set out and I took a seat across from my sister’s husband. Bethany smiled as she approached, but it looked completely fake.
“Thank you for this. It looks great.” Lie. It looked like a typical salad. Lettuce, carrots, mushrooms, black olives, and croutons. She placed three different dressings down before taking her seat next to Charles. The smile became genuine as Jordan slid in next to me. For the life of me, I tried ignoring him as I made my plate, but he was sitting so close the heat radiating from his skin was a constant reminder of my little fantasy.
“You’re really sticking to this vegetarian lifestyle. I didn’t think it would last.” Jordan took the tongs the moment I laid them down. Ranch dressing covered my veggies and I braved looking at my sister. I didn’t know she was a vegetarian. Apparently, I didn’t know anything about her.
A laugh came from Charles and Bethany nudged him. “When I say something, I mean it. Sorry you all have to suffer with me, but look on the bright side, it’s healthy.” Her eyes met mine and I gave her a grin. “So, Mary, why don’t you tell us what you’ve been up to these last few months? I think the last time we saw each other it was over Christmas.”
Did she care, or did she just want Jordan to learn more about me? “I’ve been really busy with school. Less than a year and I’ll have my Bachelors.”
“Daddy said you were doing great. Future shrink to the kiddies, right?”
The nonchalant way she’d said it had me pausing. To her, it was just a title. To me, it meant so much more. There was a chance I could help kids who came from abusive homes or had been through something similar to me. My therapist was the coldest person I’d ever met. I wouldn’t be like that. My title would put me in a position to help and I had every intention of doing just that. “Well, technically, but it’s pretty in depth.”
“I bet.” Before I could go on, she cut me off. “Jordan, why don’t you tell Mary what you do? I’m sure she’d love to hear.”
No doubt he worked for his father. The rich spoiled son of some billionaire. But, isn’t that what everyone said about me? To please my sister I turned and gave him my full attention. The sudden courtesy had him looking down. Shy? Who, Jordan? I couldn’t imagine that. Not by the way he acted in the Jacuzzi.
“Well.” He took a deep breath and met my gaze. “I’m a lawyer. But it’s not a big deal, really.”
The shock couldn’t have hit me harder. My heart jumped. So he did take care of himself. No working for Brighton Industries after all. “That’s amazing. How do you like it?”
“I love it.” He smiled and went back to eating his salad. Talking about himself didn’t appear to sit well with him. I could relate, whether our reasons were different or not. Who was Jordan, really? The more I learned, the more appealing he became.
Bethany didn’t mind picking back up. “He’s amazing. You should see all the charities he’s a part of, too. Mainly ones concerning children. He’s so caring toward them. You two have a lot in common. You should talk about it. Later, when you’re alone, of course.”
We both nodded and the rest of the meal went by in silence. Rinsing the dishes quickly became my chore as I took the plates and headed to the sink. Anything to get out of more conversation. Charles was starting to talk about the client he was meeting. All three of them seemed to know who Mr. George was. Nothing about what they were saying held my interest enough to continue listening.
Glass clinked as I pushed in the rack and put a soap tab in. My approach back into the living area didn’t escape anyone’s notice.
“You two don’t mind if Charles and I have some romantic time on the top deck, do you? I’m afraid I haven’t seen him much lately, and the stars are awfully bright tonight.”
Well, I should have seen that coming. “Go ahead. Have fun.” I walked over and sat on the white leather sofa while Bethany grabbed her husband’s hand and pulled him out of the door.
“Persistent, isn’t she?” Jordan laughed and plopped down, leaving a cushion between us.
“Yeah, just a little.”
Weather reports played on the wide screen and I stared at it not seeing anything. Thoughts crowded my mind about everything that had played out to this point. Slowly, I turned to Jordan. It didn’t surprise me to see that he was watching. He looked at me a lot. Maybe it was a little creepy, but I didn’t quite feel fear. Just curiosity at what he was thinking.
“What you said in the Jacuzzi, about possibly wanting to get to know me...” I left the statement open, waiting to see what he was going to say. A part of me felt like I needed to work harder to get to know him. After all, he’d surprised me by going off and choosing a profession that was separate from his father’s business. I admired that.
Fingers rubbed down his dark hair while he brought his hand across the back of his head. “You’re different than anyone my father’s suggested.” His voice lowered. “Maybe I thought you were going to walk up looking like your sister’s twin. Don’t get me wrong, she’s beautiful, but I’m more interested in what’s going on upstairs.” He pointed to his head. “There’s a lot running through yours. I can see how you take in everything. There’s such anger and sorrow behind your eyes. I know the pain that lies there.”
The possibility of him having learned my secret had my back stiffening. “What do you know?” The softness of my tone almost got lost in the pulsing roar in my ears.
“You’ve been hurt. I don’t know how, or by whom, but it’s there. You try so hard to smile, but you can’t hide your hurt from me.”
I stood, half torn to flee, half trying to pretend he was wrong. If he could see it, who else could? “You’re hiding something, too.” I knew dark found each other, but I didn’t want him to see my pain, just my need to be ravaged in the harshest way. I wanted to be covered in welts. Possibly even bleed in order to obtain my pleasure.
“Perhaps. But we can agree we’re not like everyone else. True?”
“Yes.”
“Sit.” He grinned and patted the cushion. “No need to get upset. Your secret is safe with me. You might not be, though.”
Chapter 2
Mary
The deck beneath my feet wasn’t as sturdy as I’d imagined. Waves still rolled in a gentle pattern, but I pushed forward, wanting to get as far
away from the water as I could. Two days on a boat and I hadn’t got sick once. Not until I stepped off. Now I wasn’t so sure.
“Whoa, you’re swaying a bit.” Jordan linked his arm in mine, taking on some of my weight. I still couldn’t get over what he’d said. Was it just two nights ago? He was quick to change the subject the moment I had tried to get him to elaborate. Not a single word had left him after that cryptic comment. Our conversation had led to hobbies, food, and our ideal place to live if we ever got to choose. It had been nice, but not what I wanted to know.
Bethany turned around, the long, black sequined dress sparkling in her movement. Ever since Jordan and I started spending more time together, she’d cheered up significantly. I liked it. For some strange reason it made me feel good to please her. My family all wanted this and Jordan was growing on me. He was a big mystery. One that I found myself wanting to solve. Yet, the nagging in my brain wouldn’t let me fall for him completely. My wall was still up, and I’d leave it there until I learned more.
“So, where are we going again?” The salty sea air filled my lungs while I tried to get a grip on my equilibrium. As long as I kept taking deep breaths, this would pass. It always had in the past.
“You and I are going to find coffee. Your sister and Charles are meeting Mr. George at his office.”
That was right. Wait. “Coffee?” My eyes lowered to my white and pink watch. “It’s almost five in the evening.”
“Yep, and I have a killer headache. Caffeine will help.”
Bethany and Charles got into a black Town Car and disappeared around the corner. It shouldn’t have surprised me someone would be waiting for them. Sometimes I forgot the lives they led. True, my place and tuition were paid for by my father, but I didn’t take money from him to live off of. I worked so I could afford food and necessities. I didn’t even own a car. Yet, here, my sister and Charles led glamorous lives.
SLADE: Captive to the Dark Page 2