by Lilly James
They are beautiful, and I have the urge to touch his chest, feel over the small number of tattoos that are drawn over his pecs. Not to mention his six pack and those hard-muscly arms that are greeting me right now. I want to touch them to make sure they are real. My eyes make no secret about sexually glaring all over Hunter's body. When I see how hard he is between his legs, I gulp and glance away like it’s illegal that I caught him peacocking around with his morning glory.
“Sorry,” he huskily chuckles. “I think it’s been like that all fucking night.” I look back up to his eyes and try to focus on his face, but it’s like my eyes don’t want to obey. They keep looking at his penis. His penis!
I lick my lips because my mouth has gone dry and wave a finger between us. “Did we?” I clear my throat. “I mean, did you… did I…” God damn it Louisa spit it out.
“Did we fuck last night?” Hunter spells it out loud and clear for me, and all I can do is nod. Hunter bows his head, shaking it, and I hope that means no. “Baby, if you had this,” he grabs his penis, “last night, you wouldn’t be standing right there with ease.”
My eyes are wide, and I don’t think I can remember to blink.
“Come here.” He beckons me towards him and before my mind has been made up my legs walk towards him anyway. He pulls me on his lap, and I sit sidewards. I don’t know where to put my arms, so I keep them in my lap. His arms, however, know exactly where to go. His right arm goes around my lower back, and his left is pushing my blonde hair behind my ear. Then he rests his hand on my thigh, giving it a small squeeze, I can’t produce any other thoughts than thinking about his fingertips touching my bare skin.
Hunter’s effing fingertips are touching my bare skin! Are you reading me?
He’s watching me, his eyes really looking at my face. Studying every spec. “I’m so angry with your friend right now. I’m just so fucking glad I was there because who knows what could have happened.”
My face screws up. Did they argue? “Why are you angry with Fallon?”
His expression contorts, the anger pouring from him. “Can you not remember last night? You drunk her drink, Lou. It was dunked with a fucking pill. Your friend obviously chooses to take drugs while she’s partying and I don’t want you around those kinds of people.”
“What?” I don’t know what to say. I am rendered speechless. Fallon isn’t into drugs. But I drunk her drink that was laced? Holy shit.
“You were like a ragdoll, all floppy and out of it. I brought you here to look after you. I didn’t trust your friend to take you home.” Hunter continues.
“Oh God,” I rub my hands over my face, get up and settle into Hunter's desk chair. As I try to remember it suddenly comes back to me. “I shouldn’t have taken her drink.” I can remember downing it for some Dutch courage. “It’s not her fault.”
Hunter scowls and I know he disagrees. I can’t think about it. I refuse to. I can’t think of drugs being inside my body because it would cause me a mental breakdown. “Forget it. I’m here in one piece aren’t I.” I glance down at myself and realize someone must have undressed me, and now drugs seem to be pushed back into my list of worries. “Did you undress me?”
Hunter shakes his head. “I’m not disrespectful Lou, I wasn’t sure if you’d freak out in the morning if you knew I undressed you. I asked Jaxon’s girlfriend, Avery, to help you out.”
I exhale a massive amount of relief. “Thank you.” But now Avery, a girl I have never met has seen my goods? Oh, lord.
“Besides,” he comes towards me, and wraps his arms around my lower back. He feels his way to my butt and squeezes. “When the time comes for me to undress you, I want to you be aware of my fingertips brushing against your skin when I take off your t-shirt.” His words halt my breathing pattern, turning it into a nonexistent one. “Or unclasp your bra.” He kisses my collarbone. “And pull down your panties.” Now he’s licking into my ear, so I lean into his tongue, close my eyes and clamp my legs together. I have the urge to have his fingers pressed between my legs.
His hand rubs up my thigh until it's underneath my t-shirt and sliding up my hips. I can do this, I tell myself. Hell, I want to do this. It’s just kissing and foreplay. Sex is the tricky part. His mouth moves across mine, and down past my jaw until he’s skating his lips down my neck. I tilt my head back and moan softly until his lips are skimming back up my throat. They land on my mouth, and I melt. I truly and utterly melt. His lips lock with mine, and he takes me passionately.
Hunter’s mouth is soft, his lips delicate as his hand holds the side of my cheek. I kiss him back, finally placing my arms around his neck. He moves to shift me frontwards so now I am straddling him. I gasp, and my lips unlock from him because of the hardness that just brushed across the softness between my legs.
“Baby,” he whispers, kissing my lips again. His tongue slides in, and I lick mine across his. Slowly. The small gasps, the delightful moans that are coming from both our mouths is what is turning me on the most. All I can imagine is what we would sound like if we had full on sex. But it’s that word again that makes me clam up.
His hands move up my hips, past my waist and are under the t-shirt until he’s skimming across my bare nipples. My back arches, a moan, flies from my mouth, and I feel embarrassed about how loud it was. Hunter doesn’t seem to care, though because the way he squeezes my breasts with both hands and groans against my lips, sure enough, tell me he’s enjoying the feel of me.
“Baby, you have beautiful tits.” I feel him harden even more beneath me, and he lets go of my lips to press his forehead against mine.
“I can’t take you right now.” He breathes. “I want to. Fuck, do I want to. But not right now.” I wonder why, but I don’t ask. I just bow down my head, deep in thought, forgetting that Hunter is watching me.
“Hey,” he tugs on my hair to get me to look at him. “The only reason I don’t want to make love to you right now is that I want it to be special. Not a quick fuck in the morning.” He smiles, and I sigh in relief. I am quite relieved that he doesn’t want to make his move right now. For one, I wouldn’t be ready for it. I need to prepare myself. The time I lose my virginity to Hunter Holland is a time I want to cherish. I am aware that he has no idea of my lack of experience, though. While I am not embarrassed that I still have my cherry intact, I am embarrassed, for some reason, to tell him.
“Come over tonight,” he says, hauling me back from my thoughts. “I’ll tell Jax and Ash to get lost.” He skims his thumb over my lips. Lips that feel swollen and deliciously bruised. “It’ll just be you and me.”
Me and him? Just us two? That means he wants to have sex tonight? Why do I suddenly feel sick? And how many questions can I ask myself in the matter of a second? Six, apparently. I feel sick in a way that I don’t want to hold on to my innocence anymore, and I feel a sense of guilt. I have always told myself that my virginity is a gift that I will only willingly pass over to the right man. A man that makes me weak at the knees, that makes me smile, and laugh, someone I think about every second. Does Hunter pass those expectations? Hell, yeah.
“Uh, Lou?” I come back to earth when Hunter waves a hand in front of my face. “Are you zoning out on me?” he laughs.
“Just thinking.” I climb off his lap and glance around his bedroom for my clothes.
“Over there,” he points to the chair in the corner of his room. I notice his features have slightly changed, and his eyes are looking at me differently. I can only assume that he is wondering why I am acting distant and eager to leave right now.
“Have I offended you in some way?” he asks, and I hate that I have made him second guess himself. “We don’t have to have sex tonight. I don’t want you to think I’m some horny dickhead whose cock gets hard at the touch of a nipple. Spectacular nipples, though, in my defense.”
I turn to find clothes that aren’t mine all folded neatly. “I don’t think that.” He doesn’t reply, so I turn to face him with the clothes in my hand and he’s raising
an eyebrow at me. “I don’t.” He scratches his bicep, and it only makes me zone in again like a cartoon character who can’t keep their eyes in their head. “These aren’t my clothes by the way.”
He ignores me. “Is it because I said I wanted to wait? Look, I know my body is hard to resist but Jesus, Lou, I’m only asking you to wait a couple of hours.” He laughs and walks towards me. “I’m kidding.”
I smile and get brave by pressing my lips to his. “I know you’re kidding. You don’t have to tell me you’re kidding every time you’re kidding.”
“Ohhhh,” he sings. “Louisa has jokes.”
I nudge his shoulder. “I am way funnier than you.”
He looks at me and deadpans. “Seriously? Is that what you think? We may as well break up right now.”
“Stop,” I chuckle, settling on his lap.
He touches the clothes I have in my hands. “The clothes are Avery’s by the way. She thought you wouldn’t want to go home this morning in last night clothes. Yours will laundered for you.”
“That’s so nice. Thank her for me.” I trace along the tattoo on his bicep. It’s a black and white portrait of a woman, and I am suddenly feeling something I have never experienced before. Jealously? Surely not. “Any stories behind your tattoos?”
He looks down at his tats. “Yeah, went out one night, got smashed, woke up with a tattoo.”
I frown. “12 times?” yes, I have counted them all.
“Shit happens.” He shrugs a shoulder. I want to ask about the woman on his shoulder, but there isn’t a way of asking without sounding territorial. And I am no alpha.
“You’re crazy.” I kiss his cheek. “I like that about you.”
“Is there anything you don’t like about people?”
I don’t even have to think about it. “No. Everyone has their own quirks. Who am I to hate on someone for being themselves?”
“Maybe you’re too nice.” He says.
“Maybe I don’t want to waste precious time in life by worrying about what I don’t like in other people, and get on with my own life.”
Hunter spreads his thumb across my bottom lip. “Touché.” He smiles at me, and it gives me a silly fuzzy feeling inside my stomach. “By the way, the tattoo on my shoulder is my mom.”
I physically relax, and Hunter laughs. “You thought I would get a tattoo of a girlfriend? I’m crazy, but not batshit crazy.”
I catch the time on the wall clock in the corner of my eye, and my sensible brain is telling me to move my butt. “Right, can you please leave the room so I can get changed.”
He tilts his head; I think he’s a little offended. Offend away, Louisa.
“Really?”
“Really.”
Hunter shrugs. “Fine.” he kisses my forehead pretending to act casual about the situation. I can see through it though, and it’s kind of funny. “Get changed, we’ll have breakfast, and I’ll take you home.”
“Hunter.” I laugh. “My dorm is like half a mile away. I can walk myself.”
He shakes his head like he’s not even discussing it, walks to the door and closes it behind him. Is it weird that I stand still for a moment and take in the fact that I am standing in Hunter Holland’s bedroom. Hunter is a Junior and has the choice of living in an apartment building on campus. These apartments have bedrooms, a bathroom and a living and kitchen area. Hunter’s room is quite tidy, with light blue walls, a double bed, a single closest. Although his desk is messy and I have the urge to tidy it up, but I don’t. I do, however, notice a picture frame on his desk of a young boy who looks like Hunter. I take a guess that it may be his little brother.
I get changed, quickly check my face and hair in the mirror and decide I look decent enough. As I’m about to walk out of the bedroom door, I hear other male voices outside. I freeze, unsure of what the hell to do now. I thought it was just going to be Hunter and me, and now I have all the Rouge team joining us for breakfast? Double shit. I pace back and forth by the door, telling myself to get a grip. It’s only boys. Hot boys who all should have their own spread in Men’s Fitness magazine, but just boys all the same.
“What if I say something stupid?” I mumble to myself. “What if they don’t like me, or worse still, think I’m just Hunter’s one-night stand.” I’m talking to myself again. Then I scold myself for being so ridiculous–not about talking to myself, but about acting like the opinions of other boys should shape my thoughts and doubts in any way.
I take a deep breath, remind myself that I am a confident young woman and peer down the hall. I see a sight that makes my stomach growl. And no, not because of the smell of food. They are all there! Hunter, Jaxon and Ashby, sitting at the table, all in sweat pants and no tops, I repeat, no tops! Tan, yummy abs all over. I repeat, tan, yummy abs all over. Shit!
“Blondie,” Hunter spots me, and as soon as the silly nickname has left his lips, all eyes are on me.
“Oh, there she is.” Jaxon grins, tipping his glass filled with orange juice towards me.
“Come sit your pretty little butt down.” Ashby pats his lap. Hunter launches a piece of toast at him.
“Leave her alone, jackass.” Avery appears. “There’s toast, eggs and bacon, honey. Orange juice?” Avery holds a plate of food in her hand that is presumably for me and holds a jug of orange juice in the other.
“Thank you.” I pull out the chair next to Hunter, and after Avery places my breakfast and orange juice in front of me, Hunter leans over and presses a deep and hard kiss to my lips. When he pulls away, I stare at him, stunned, almost wishing he would do it again but Ashby buts in.
“No need to claim your pussy in front of me, H. I heard your girl loud and clear last night. Definitely sounded to me like you already claimed her.”
My head snaps towards him. “What?” his comment shifts me into confusion. Hunter said we didn’t have sex last night, and now Ashby is practically saying he heard me moaning?
Hunter scoffs. “Shame we didn’t get to hear you claim a chick last night, uh, Ash? Last I heard from Bailey was that you couldn’t get it up.”
Ashby just laughs at Hunter. “No problem getting this bad boy up. It’s getting it down is the problem.”
I stare down at my food. I am dying of embarrassment right now. They all talk so openly about their sex lives. So much bravado going on. Then there is the huge issue whether Hunter and I had sex. I try to force down a piece of toast but right now I am anything but hungry.
“Louisa,” I glance up and catch Avery watching me, she is one of those girls who is beautifully crafted. One of those girls who can take a selfie and get the first one perfect first time. One of those girls who perfects a messy bun first go, then there is me who does is eight times and still don’t get it right.
Her dark brown hair falls right past her hips, and it frames her stunning features and brown eyes beautifully. I didn’t recognize her name when Hunter mentioned her earlier on, but now I do know who she is. She is an English major, and I always read her articles in the student newspaper.
“Can I speak with you for second?” she nudges her head towards the door.
I cringe and stand from the chair, following her to into the living area. “Don’t be too long with her.” Hunter calls. “She might miss me.”
I don’t turn, but I roll my eyes and take a seat on the sofa opposite Avery.
“Are you okay?” she asks, crossing her arms and settling into the cushions. “What happened to you last night would shake anybody up. I mean, shit.” She shakes her head aggravated. “If my friend did that to me, she wouldn’t be breathing right now.”
Oh… kay.
“I wasn’t her fault,” I say. “I drunk the drink. I mean,” I let out a deep breath, thinking about it all over again. The thought of drugs in my system is something I want to forget. “It was a stupid mistake. Last night was my first, and last time I will ever touch alcohol.”
She doesn’t look shocked. “You don’t usually drink.”
“I’m ni
neteen. So, never.” I tell her. “And I kind of just want to forget about it. Screaming at my friend for being careless will only make me feel bad. Crying about it won’t solve anything and not talking to Fallon won’t turn back time.” I shrug. “What’s done is done.”
Avery looks at me like she’s slowly digesting what I just said, then nods. Leaning forward she leans her elbow on her knee, then places her chin on her knuckles. “You are one of those girls who sees the best in everyone. I get it.” She smiles. “I like that.”
I’m not too sure how to respond, so I say. “I get it from my mom.”
She smiles again, and it’s so pretty I almost want to tell her.
“I just,” she pauses, exhaling a long breath before continuing. “I feel Hunter needs a girl like you, Lou. But do you think you need a boy like Hunter?”
Is she about to give me a lecture on why I shouldn’t date Hunter, because I feel like this is about to happen. “Why would you think that?”
“Don’t get me wrong,” she quickly adds because of the way my face is contorting. “I love Hunter to bits. He isn’t like Ashby, or Jaxon, or any other playboy. I know what rumors are spread about him, but they aren’t true. Hunter just isn’t that bothered to squash them all.” She laughs. “What he is, though, is kind, and thoughtful, and funny as hell.”
“He is.” I agree.
She nods, becoming serious. “I know but since…” she goes quiet, “you know… he’s bad tempered. Erratic. Hot headed and ridiculously hard to tame.”
I cross my arms. “I don’t want to tame him, Avery. He’s not a lion.”
Avery bows her head on a sigh, acting like I don’t understand what she’s trying to say. “And what do you mean,” I ask, “since… since what?”
Slight awkwardness fills the silence for a beat until she looks up. “Forget that.” She smiles tightly. “I have seen the way he looks at you, Lou. Last night, when he called me in to undress you, then he steps out of the room to give you respect, I mean, shocked don’t even cut it. You’re special to him, I can feel it. I suppose what I am trying to say is, I don’t want you to make Hunter fall in love with you, then leave and break his heart because you suddenly realize he isn’t the one for you.”