by Lilly James
I feel my cheeks glow when he pulls me into him for a much-needed hug. I don’t know why it is much needed, but it is. Hunter is consuming, he completely fills my mind and absorbs my whole attention. He is beautiful, but not just because of his looks, his floppy blonde hair or because he wears a flannel shirt better than a runway model. It’s because he has such a variety of amazing qualities, that it is hard not to find someone like him so beautiful, so special.
I let him go, then admire his pickup truck. “This yours?”
Hunter adoringly taps the side of the door. “Nope, I stole it on my way here.” My mouth drops, but Hunter chuckles. “Yeah, it’s mine. I know it’s not a Mercedes like yours, but she’s mine. Me and Bonny have come a long way.”
I giggle. “You’ve named her?”
Hunter pretends to look offended. “Why wouldn’t I?”
I open the passenger side door and climb in. Hunter holds on to the door and watches me buckle up.
“Is this satisfying your viewing pleasure?” I flirt.
Hunter hums, “Damn right.” He closes the door and walks around his side. His truck is immaculate, for some reason I expected it to be like any other college student car–messy, empty cans on the floor, foil condom wrappers… I am particularly happy that there is none of the latter.
I watch Hunter close his door, settle in and turn the ignition. He’s about to pull out without putting on his seat belt, so I stop him. “Wait!” I yell.
Hunter slams on his breaks and looks in his side mirror. “What? What is it?” he panics.
“You don’t have your seatbelt on.” I point out.
He gapes. “Seriously? Blondie, you scared the life out of me. Jesus.”
He’s about to pull out again, but I lift the handbrake up. “Hunter, if you do not put your seatbelt on, I won’t be going anywhere with you.”
Hunter shakes his head. “It will crease my shirt.” I stare at him, not exactly knowing if he’s kidding or not. If he’s not, I will crease the damn thing up myself. Hunter holds his hands up. “Kidding, it irritates me.”
I reach over him on a groan and pull his seatbelt over his chest. “And it can also save your life. Put it on.” I hand him the belt, and he smirks at me.
“Maybe I should let you lean over me and get my belt more often.”
“Shut up.” I scold him. “Put your belt on.”
“Bossy.” Hunter jokes. “I like it.”
“Like what?” I ask. “Your seatbelt?”
He shakes his head. “I’m talking about you being bossy.” Hunter turns on the ignition and carries on down the road. I glance out of the window. I don’t know why, but I love car journeys. Love gazing out of the window at life passing by. I like to daydream, like to watch the road whizzing past under the wheels.
“Where are we going?” I break the comfortable silence as I see more trees and greenery then sidewalks and roads.
“Somewhere.” Hunter leans down to press the radio on. Taylor Swift, Say You’ll Remember Me is playing, so Hunter scoffs and is about to switch it over but I knock his hand away.
“I love this one.”
“Sing it to me, then.” Hunter challenges. I always sing in my car alone, but would I sing in the presence of others? Yeah, If I wanted to look a prat.
“No way.”
“Come on.” He pushes playfully, then starts singing himself.
I laugh and hide my face with my hands. “Stop.”
“Will you remember me Lou?” Hunter asks, then displays a cocky grin.
“Only in my wildest dreams.” I wink, and Hunter bursts out laughing.
“Mariah Carey better watch out.” He jokes.
I push his shoulder. “I thought you didn’t like Taylor Swift, but you know her song?”
“Lucky guess.”
“Yeah right.”
The sun is starting to set, and I can see it clearly over the horizon as Hunter drives us up a hill that is masked by woodlands and overgrown trees. I wonder if he has taken a wrong turning, but my wonder ceases when he drives into a clearing and comes to the top of the hill.
“Oh wow.” The view from where we are is so spectacular. I can see the bright twinkling lights coming from the city below us. Crisp white stars starting to make an appearance from the dark sky above.
Hunter climbs out of the car, so I open my door and jump down out of the truck. I am drawn to the view, but when Hunter walks towards the back of the truck, he pulls down the door and starts pulling things from rucksacks. I watch him arrange pillows and blankets on the back of his truck, making it look all cozy, then he scratches the back of his neck, something I know he does when he’s a little nervous. I don’t know why he’s nervous.
Maybe it’s because he’s not sure that I’m going to like it. He has no reason to doubt it, I love it. Love, it more than a candle lit dinner in some fancy pants restaurant. Hunter takes out two-fold up chairs and sets them far away, but close enough to the edge so that we can see the view. I watch him work in silence. Next, he takes another rucksack and pulls out four cartons that I assume contain food. He has a cool box full of beers and water. When he’s done, he turns to me and exhales a deep breath.
“Ta da.” He sings.
“It’s so romantic.” I smile, hugging myself with my arms.
“Really?” he arches a brow as he closes the gap between us. “You like it?
“Hunter, I love it.” I really do love. “Effort is what matters to me.” Simple things in life are something not everyone appreciates, but they are the things that matter most. The things that we are always going to remember long after they have happened.
“Life is about appreciating and making memories, and I want to make memories with you.” I kiss his lips; they are warm and soft. I moan against them.
Hunter sets up the picnic across the checked blanket we’re sitting on, and then press’s play to chilled music on his iPhone. Hunter’s company is soothing, funny, our conversations flow with ease. Our interests are similar. We look at each other in a way that makes my heart heavy and light at the same time. And the amount of times we laugh at something not particularly funny is countless, and I relish it.
When we have demolished the picnic, Hunter helps me up into the back of his truck. He lies on his back, and I lie beside him to stare up at the night sky.
“Do you think those stars up there are our loved ones looking down on us?” I ask.
“No.” Hunter’s answer is clipped.
“I think they are.” I hope more than I think.
“That’s your heart talking,” Hunter says. “They are stars, Lou. They are not ‘loved ones’ looking down on us. It’s facts.”
I shift onto my elbow so I can look at him. “Why don’t you see the world differently Hunter?”
“I see it as it is.” He frowns, his gaze fixed on the night sky. “The world is harsh, full of deaths, cruelty and suffering.”
I lie back down and glance up to the sky. “But it’s so much more than that.” I move my hands above us. “Imagine us, a tiny speck lost in space, thousands of galaxies and planets around us, the only thing that keeps us balanced is our moon.”
“And?” he says.
“And… why? Everything has a purpose for a reason. The moon is protecting us, but why? When it could easily drift away and leave us standing alone. They are like companions; two things brought together for a reason.”
Hunter is the one who leans on his elbow now. He looks at me deeply, and the adoration he holds for me is so apparent through his eyes. “Like me and you?”
I smile and trace his lips with my thumb. “Definitely.”
“I’ll be your moon.” He grins, “protecting you from harm.” His smile fades. “Seriously, though. I would protect you from anything Lou, I need you to know that. I’d walk on fucking water for you. Well,” he shrugs a shoulder. “If it was possible.”
“You’d definitely fall in.”
“Yeah, then I’d get angry because you know… my hair
.” We both laugh and I turn my head, so we’re facing each other. “Tell me about your family.” He says.
I take a breath. “Well, my dad is a doctor, he’s originally from Texas but moved to Louisiana, and that’s where he met my mom.” I smile as my mom comes to mind. “He’s married to Valery now. She’s the reason we moved to Boston. She has her own interior design company here. She’s nice.” I guess. “As neat as a pin, but nice.”I don’t say no more, my eyes drop, and I find myself staring at the blanket between us.
“What about your mom?” Hunter asks gently.
I smile fondly as my memories of my mom hit me again. “My mom was a free spirit.”
“Did she stay in Louisiana?”
My smile fades. Memories are there to cherish, but not all memories. Not when I wish some memories were not memories at all. Sometimes I wish they could be swiped from the mind as easy as deleting a Facebook account. “No. She died of ovarian cancer a year ago.”
I hear Hunter gasp. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I would never have asked if–”
“It’s okay.” He’s about to take me into his arms, but I push him away gently. “I’m past the grieving stage. I am now at the part where I can smile about my mom and relive the happy times that we had together. I try to look forward because looking back is too painful. She was pretty special.” I glance back up at the sky, wishing and praying that my mom is looking down on me.
“Bree didn’t take it well. She’s still trying to come to terms with it.” Honestly, I don’t think Bree will ever come to terms with it. You see, Bree has always been a rebel, and she was never that close to my mom, even though she had every opportunity to be. My mom tried so hard with her, but Bree wasn’t interested. She’s a friend’s person, not a family person. I am a family person. Family, for me, comes before anything, and me and my mom had one of those bonds where it was unbreakable, until death. Bree hates herself for not spending enough time with her. She hates that she took her own mom for granted. She hates that the last time she saw her, she stormed out of the house in anger and never told my mom she loved her just before she died.
Hunter looks away from me. “Do you ever wonder what will be the end for you? I mean, what will end your life?”
“Hunter,” I gasp. “That is morbid as hell.”
He shrugs like he doesn’t care. “I often lie awake at night, wondering if life chooses the very way each of us are going to die. I wonder what life has chosen for me. So far, a load of bullshit.” He sits up and wraps his arms around his knees.
I place my hand on his back. “If we worry about what life is going to bring in the future, we will never enjoy the present, Hunter. The world doesn’t carve its own path for us, that part is up to us. God created the word, but he gave man free will. Life is about enjoyment. Enjoying it the way you want to.”
Hunter seems to disagree. “Some people don’t get the luxury of enjoying life, Lou. I mean,” he looks at me. “What’s the meaning of life?”
I look hard into his eyes and place my hand on his cheek. “There isn’t one, which means we have to give life a meaning.”
Hunter tilts his head, and I’m not quite sure he’s on the same wave length as me. “How - by just creating one?”
I smile, trying to change the conversation into a lighter subject. “Everything has to be created before it exists, Hunter. What about your family?” I ask him, finally being able to look him in the eyes.
“My family is a joke.” He simply says.
Oh…kay. I wasn’t expecting that.
“Tell me what your mom’s like.” I push.
Hunter sighs. “I am mom-less.” He scoffs. “I guess we have more in common than we thought.” Hunter scoots to the end of the truck and jumps down.
It takes me a second to process what he said. I quickly sit up. “Oh Hunter, I am so sorry.”
“Me too.” He says, his back still turned. “I mean, who doesn’t need their mom around?”
I watch him walk to the edge of the cliff, then sit down on his butt and dangle his legs over the edge. I jump off the truck and walk towards him, sitting down next to him. Don’t look down. Don’t look down.
“She was taken away from me too quick.” He says, throwing a stone into the air.
“How did she–”
“Do you mind if I don’t talk about it?” he says sternly. I’ve never see him so serious, so deep in thought. I feel like he doesn’t want to talk about it because he doesn’t want to get emotional. His eyes tell me he is emotional. But I do not want to disobey his wishes.
“Sure.” I rest my head on his shoulder.
“I have a little brother. He’s what keeps me going each day. Him and you that is.” He kisses my head.
I smile tenderly, it’s so nice for him to compliment me that way.
“What about your dad?” I ask.
Hunter visibly tenses. I feel it within his shoulders, see his jaw harden.
“You don’t want to know about him.” I want to ask why. Instead, I say nothing. I close my mouth and stare down across the lit-up city below us. It’s peaceful, just the two of us and the sounds of the night wildlife in the trees. I feel warm with Hunter’s arm around me. I put my hand in his lap and entwine my fingers into his.
“Lou,” Hunter says my name quietly, almost a whisper. “What do you think the meaning of life is?”
I lift my head to look at him. He’s not looking at me but still staring out towards the city. His question is sincere, not a joke, a genuine question coming from within. I try to answer it as honestly as I can from a personal perspective.
“Truthfully, I think we should make our own meaning, rather than search an answer.”
Hunter still doesn’t look at me. “What if you don’t see the point?”
I frown, confused and disturbed by the sad tone to his voice. “In making your life mean something?” Hunter just nods. “Hey,” I pull on his arm, and he looks at me. “Your life means everything, Hunter. How can you not see the point to that?”
He gets to his feet and pulls me up with him. “You mean everything.” he exhales, giving my forehead a kiss. “You cold?” he leads me back towards the truck, pulls the blanket from the back and closes the trunk. He wraps the blanket around my shoulders, and all I can do is smile, and feel more content than I ever have felt. Ever.
“Come on, let’s get you back.”
“Are you coming back with me?” I don’t want us to part ways when we get back to campus. The evening has been bliss, romantic, and it’s made my feelings towards Hunter more apparent than they ever were. I adore spending time with him, the more time, the better.
“No.” He says, and that one word has my smile fading and heart popping like a balloon. He turns his head and smirks. “I’m taking you back to your dorm so you can get some of your things, then you’re coming back with me.” I think my heart just blew up again. Hunter packs everything away, then hands me his car keys. “Do you want to drive? I’ve had three beers.”
I clap excitedly and rush towards the driver’s side. “I’ve always wanted to drive a truck,” I squeal as I climb behind the wheel.
Hunter slides in next to me, and I give him a look. He takes the hint and puts his seatbelt on as I buckle in mine. I push the key in, turn the ignition, and we’re off. I take my time because I am a sensible driver, but I see Hunter biting his lip, dying to comment.
“Slow down Lou why don’t ya.”
I ignore Hunter’s sarcastic comment and continue driving within the speed limit.
“I am driving like I am supposed to.” I turn my chin away from him in defiance. I hear him yawn, so I glare at him quickly.
“What?” he says, failing to hide his smirk.
I turn back to the road. “Next time you can drive yourself.”
“Trust me, if I knew you drove like my Grandma I wouldn’t have had the beers.”
“I do not drive like a Grandma.”
“But you do.” He laughs. “Jesus, you may be even worse.”
“Shut up.” I snap, taking offense because I think I am an excellent driver. His hand comes onto my knee, and I feel that charge between my legs.
“I’m kidding, Blondie. I just wish you would hurry up already, my dick is hard and aching.”
My hands stiffen on the steering wheel. My concentration is suddenly spiraling as it imagines dirty things. Automatically, I press my foot down on the gas, speeding up a little bit.
Whore.
Chapter 21
Louisa
Hunter’s bedroom feels different to what it did the first time I was in here. I’m guessing it’s because the last time I wasn’t expecting to lose my virginity. My back is to the wall, my breathing is ragged, my heart rate is thumping to stupidly fast beat. Hunter is standing in front of me, his hands on my hips, his eyes travelling down my fully clothed body.
“You sure you want to do this. I do not, in any way, want to pressure you, Lou.”
I nod, certain. “I want to. I want you.”
Hunter purses his lips, and his hands travel past my hips and up my waist. My fingers find their way into his hair, and I pull him towards me. My lips meet his and I part them to allow his tongue to meet mine. Our kiss is slow and passionate, and my head is dizzy, but I need to touch him. I feel my way under his T-shirt and up across his stomach. The way his hard abs feel under my palm has me moaning against his lips.
“Take it off,” he whispers into my ear, then kisses down the side of my neck. I pull his T-shirt over his head, and he steps back just enough for me to see what I just had my hands pressed against. I whimper, goddam whimper.
“You like?” he smirks proudly, then leans in to speak against my lips. “I know you do.” He pulls on my hands to lead me over to his bed.
I fall into the mattress and Hunter hovers over me, taking my lips again. Our kiss is becoming faster, harder, urgent. His hands are all over me until he’s taking my t-shirt off. His throws my shirt aside and gazes down.
“Hmm,” he groans. “Perfect, perfect tits.”
I find the courage to feel my way to the waistband of his boxers and give them a tug. Tugging until they are past his butt.