Bad News

by Lilly James

  “Yeah,” I groan. “I am that fucking predictable, aren’t I.”

  Ashby shakes his head. “Serious though Hunt, you got to stop.”

  “Fuck you both.” Even though I know, they are right. I still won’t listen.

  Jaxon jumps down from the worktop. “I’m heading home to see my mom soon, so if you want to shoot some hoops let’s go.”

  I shake my head. “No, you go, dude. You know how your mom gets when she doesn’t see you.”

  Ashby hums. “Hmm, Jaxon’s mom, hell I’ll go see her if you don’t want to.”

  “Fuck you, dick.” Ashby and Jaxon get into a play fight, so I excuse myself so I can try and call Louisa again. Man, I fucked up.

  I lie on my bed and call Louisa for the twelfth time, and it goes straight to answer phone.

  “Fuck,” I mumble to myself. She isn’t going to answer. Without having a shower, because I am too eager, I throw on the first t-shirt and jeans I find, slip my feet into sneakers and jog out of my apartment. My destination is Louisa’s campus block.

  “I told you. She’s not here!” Fallon grits her teeth.

  I am leaning against the doorframe with my foot jammed in the way so she can’t close it on me. We have an audience of girls out in the hallway, and Fallon is getting on my last fucking nerve.

  “Let me in Fallon before I kick the goddamn fucking door down.”

  “Yeah,” Fallon moves towards me. “You break the door, and I’ll break that pretty face of yours Holland. Now fuck off. Louisa has gone away for a break. You’re not seeing her for the next four days. Deal with it.”

  I move my foot and Fallon slams the door. I can’t believe she left without telling me or saying goodbye. Fuck.

  “You want me to make you feel better Hunt?”

  I turn my head and see one of the girls winking at me. I glare at her and turn on my heel, running like a mad man back to my apartment. Fuck basketball with the boys, whacking a ball with a baseball bat right about now feels like a better idea.

  ***

  “This not lust, boys. It’s love. I feel possessive. Jealous. I don’t want her talking to other boys. I want her all to myself and any spare time she has I want it to be spent with me. There’s being into a girl, and then there is head-over-heels-ga-ga shit, and that sums me up pretty much right now.” I throw the baseball up to the air and let it come back down for me to catch it. “The thought of not seeing her for four days is fucking killing me.”

  “Then call her.” Ashby points out as I throw him the ball.

  “Don’t you think I’ve tried that, dipshit.” I throw down the bat, slump to my ass and lie back, pulling my cap over my eyes to block out the sun. I feel the boys fall down next to me, but I don’t look up. “She won’t answer my calls, dude.” I take off my cap and place it over my face. “I have royally fucked up. She told me she was scared of me. Fuck, it’s made me feel like a worthless piece of shit.”

  Jaxon scoffs next to me. “Just pull out that charm of yours, pussy.”

  I shake my head, sit up and wrap my arms around my knees. “Nah, she’s not like other girls, Jax. And I wouldn’t insult her by trying that anyway. She’s pissed, I get it. I just hate it.”

  Jaxon lies back on the grass and starts throwing the ball up into the air and catching it. “Then get groveling.”

  I turn to him. “I will grovel on my hands and knees if I have to, but waiting until she comes back is going to drive me nuts.”

  “Would you drive to her if you knew where she was?” He asks.

  I drop my head. “I’d fucking walk to her if I had to. This is going to be the longest four days of my life.”

  Jaxon sighs. “You’ll just have to suck it up, brother.”

  There’s silence between us three for a couple of seconds until Jaxon sits up. “How’s your dad, Hunt?”

  Does he really have to ruin my life even more right now? “Fine.” I shrug.

  “That’s not what your Gran told my mom.” He says.

  I push to my feet, “I couldn’t give a fuck right now.” I jog away.

  Chapter 30

  Louisa

  I get to my room, close the door, let my bags drop to my side and slump down onto my butt. The last time I was here at our holiday home was when my mother was alive. I glance around my bedroom and breath in the memorable and comforting smell of the dark wood floor. It’s rich and piney all at once. I have yellow floral wallpaper, a huge dark wood bed, a closet and a side table. Simple and neat is what I like.

  I push myself up from the floor and walk over to the window. My view of the cove is one that I cherish every time I’m here. My mom would wake me up just before sunrise so that we could watch the sun rise above the water in the morning. Then we would watch the sunset in the evening together. Those memories are something I hold to my heart dearly. My mom and dad bought this holiday home here in Boston when we were younger. I can’t help but feel like my father met Valery way before my mom died. It’s too much of a coincidence that my dad randomly met a lady from Boston not far from our holiday home, a month after she died. My dad comes here often with Valery. But it’s the first time I have braved it since my mom. I thought coming down this weekend could give me some breathing space away from Hunter for a couple of days.

  To take my mind off things, I try and get some studying done.

  Notes are scattered all around me, and I crumple up another piece of paper and throw it onto the mountain of crumpled up paper. Why can’t I get the words flowing today? Stupid question really. I know why. It’s because I can’t get Hunter off my damned mind. I look up at the ceiling, trying to hold back the waterworks. Do not cry, Lou. Do not cry.

  Shit, I’m crying.

  “Why are you still up here?” Bree waltz into my room, and I quickly wipe away my tears.

  “Studying.” I stare at my papers.

  She makes a ‘hmm’ noise, and I know she’s got her hands on her hips. “Do you want to tell me how you got that bruise on your jaw?”

  My hand automatically touches it. “I got caught up in one of Hunter’s fights. That’s all.”

  Her mouth drops open, and the lines on her forehead show me she’s angry as hell. “Excuse me!”

  I don’t look up. “Bree, it was an accident before you start telling me how bad he is for me.”

  “I did warn you.” She murmurs again. “But hey, if you want a broken heart be my guest. Anyway, we’re going down to the village for a bite to eat. Get dressed.” As I look up she’s already out of the door. I want to throw my study book at the door and pretend it’s her head, but I don’t. Only because I’m afraid of breaking my book. The way my sister is being because of this whole Hunter thing is ridiculous. In the beginning, I let her have her jibes, ignored her comments and felt guilty over the whole situation. That was before Hunter taught me to stick up for myself. Oh, no, now I’m thinking of Hunter again, and I almost made it ten seconds without him on my mind.

  “You two are a lot of fun.” My dad’s joke only worked on Valery who laughs along with him like it’s the funniest thing in history. He is, of course, talking about Bree and I. We haven’t said a word to each other. Although Bree may think I’m quiet because of her, it’s not. It’s because when we would come here with my mom, we always used to eat at the small local coffee shops. The quirky little dockside bars. One of our favorites was a little farmers market with a small café that only served what they farmed. Instead, we are eating at a posh restaurant that looks no different from the rest of the posh restaurants Valery seems to like. It has no quirks, no flaws, no ‘catch of the day’. Just fancy pants food that is like a piece of art on your plate rather than food that fills you up and makes you dribble down your chin.

  “I don’t think Louisa knows how to have fun.” Bree cocks her head at me after her snipe–which tells me it’s about to go down. “Although, you seem to be having a lot of fun with Hunter Holland right now, don’t you?”

  I roll my eyes, pick up my fork and stab it in
to the work of art on my plate. It makes me feel a lot satisfied that I’ve messed it up.

  “Everything okay between you both?” My dad asks.

  Let me explain something about my father, when he’s at home, he’s all formal, strict and professional. Get him on vacation or out of town, and he turns into one of those annoying fathers who still thinks you’re ticklish under the chin at nineteen.

  I shrug, and stare at my plate. I know this is not my usual behavior. I would never not answer a question my father has asked me, or anyone for that matter because it’s rude. I hate that I can’t drag myself out of this funk.

  “Fine.” I take a mouthful of my food to prevent me saying anything else.

  My dad claps his hands. “Is Louisa in love?” He sings.

  “Really, dad? Really?” Bree scoffs. “He’s the worst kind of boyfriend to have. I mean, those guys you call bad news. You saw what he was like on your birthday. Have you forgot that?”

  “Didn’t stop you wanting to take him to bed, though, did it?” Oh, yeah, hit it right out of the park, Louisa. Boom. Then I sigh because I hate being mean to anybody. The guilt creeps up my throat, but before I apologize, Bree scoffs.

  “Well, he must have got bored of you. Is that why you’re moping around?” She looks at my dad. “When he’s had enough, he leaves. If you know what I mean.”

  I don’t know whether to throw my napkin at her face (yeah, real harsh) or explain to my dad that she couldn’t be more further away from the truth.

  My dad’s eyes are batting back and forth, and Valery takes a long swig of her red wine.

  “Bree, I assure you, Louisa is not the kind of girl who…” My dad clears his throat. “I will not have you talking about her this way.”

  And here it comes, Bree is about to go crazy because she will say my dad is taking my side–like he always does. “You’re taking her side, again?” There we go.

  I clutch at my fork so hard the metal digs into my palm. “He is not sticking up for me, Bree. He is telling the truth.”

  “Oh,” Bree’s demeanor changes into something calmer. “So why don’t you invite him here?”

  “Maybe I will.” I hiss, aggressively biting at my bread roll. As I swallow, it feels like sandpaper is scraping its way down my throat. Emotion is building by the second.

  I get back to the house, but don’t go inside. Instead, I drag my feet towards the promenade. I walk right to the end and have the urge to jump into the water, but I flake out and sit down with my legs crossed instead. The sun is setting, so I capture a picture, and caption it ‘still thinking of you’ It’s meant for my mom. Just because she’s gone doesn’t mean I should stop doing those things we always used to do.

  The chilliness in the air is biting at my skin, causing goosebumps to break out, but this is what I love. Sitting alone. Reflecting. Clearing my mind. Appreciating the things in life we tend to forget when we’re too busy to appreciate our very existence. One thing I can’t forget, though, is Hunter. His voice, his hands across my skin, that devilish smile. I even love his laugh - it causes my heart to flutter. His humor has me laughing so hard my stomach hurts. I love those kinds of laughs. And I almost forgot how it felt to laugh so hard I couldn’t breathe until Hunter came along. When my mom died, I grieved for a little while, of course I did. My mother was my best friend, the life and soul of our family. After almost falling into depression, I knew I had to change my life. I knew my mother would not want to see me so sad. I decided to not allow life to beat me, but to beat life instead and live it to the fullest. Hunter coming along reminds me of why we should cherish those we care for. Not deny.

  I absolutely love all sides to Hunter. It’s not even about the way he can have me hot and flustered in a matter of seconds. It’s about the way he makes me feel inside. The way he makes me grow as a person. Sure, amazing sex is a bonus, but sex is not what makes you fall in love with another. It’s the way he smiles and glances away from me when I catch him staring at me from across the room. The way I love to watch him sleep, the way he puts his arms around me just to be close to me.

  I don’t believe in love at first sight. I fell in love with Hunter gradually. The more he showed me how much of an amazing person he is, the more I fell. Now I have fallen, I have fallen hard. Now there is no going back. I don’t want to go back. I just want to know the side of Hunter that is yet to still be discovered, and I want to fall in love with that too.

  Chapter 31

  Louisa

  After I unpack, I glance around my dorm room and feel relived after being away from this place for four days. I couldn’t wait to come back. Although I am a little apprehensive.

  “Fallon, why is there a note in the refrigerator saying don’t eat me?” I unstick the note from the plate.

  Fallon remains on her phone. “It reminds me not to eat the cake.”

  I frown and take out the plate from the small fridge and close the door. “But there is no cake left.”

  “No.” She scoffs. “I’m not very good at taking orders.”

  I push the plate aside, take my phone out of my pocket and debate. Should I switch it on? I’m about to ask Fallon what I should do, but since I got back to campus, all we’ve done is share small talk. Fallon has been lying in her bed, her face depressed and she’s surrounded by empty chocolate wrappers and ice cream tubs.

  I place down my phone. It can wait. “Fallon, is there something wrong?”

  She glares at me from under her duvet. “I missed you, that’s all. Why do you ask?”

  I stare at the wrappers. “I ask because you’re eating–”

  “Too much?” she snaps. “Is that it?”

  “Well,” I shrug. “Too much junk, yeah.”

  She sighs. “I do not need that kind of negative energy around me right now.”

  I have a burst of laughter waiting to explode, but I force it back down my throat because Fallon is deadly serious. Fallon doesn’t do serious. Moody, but not serious.

  I think I know what is encouraging her mournful behavior, so I tread carefully. “Have you… uh… have you and Rayne broke up?”

  Fallon throws off her duvet in rage. “What, just because I’m acting like a girl whose broke up with her partner means I actually have?” I watch her lip wobble then she dramatically throws her head into her hands. “You are so right.” She sobs. I dart off my bed and rush to her side, taking her into my arms. She sobs into my chest, snotty nose and all.

  “I know I should have finished it when she fucked with you,” she blubbers, and I think she means the drink spiking business. “But I loved her, Lou. Now she would rather stick her tongue in stupid bitch Ann Wills ass instead. I mean,” she pulls away to wipe her nose on her sleeve. “Who the hell has white hair and black bangs these days? Fucking badger bitch.” Fallon breaks down again and falls back into my arms. “You smell nice.” She murmurs, clutching at me even more. “Don’t go away again. Next time I’ll just get rid of Hunter for you.”

  I laugh a little. “C’mon Fal. Crying over someone who isn’t worth crying about is… well, not worth it.”

  “I know,” she sighs, wiping her tears away. “But the more I tell myself that, the more I don’t believe it.”

  After an hour of consoling Fallon, and eating ice cream with her, she decides to get dressed and get some air.

  “Want me to come?” I ask.

  She shakes her head. “I’m good. I’m going to see Axel.”

  I arch my brow. Confused? Hell, yeah. “Axel?”

  “Axel.” She nods, and leaves.

  When I get myself ready for bed the time is nearing midnight. I stare at my phone and decide. As I turn it on, it bleeps repeatedly. Message after message from Hunter. Just as I’m about to open them up, my phone rings. It’s my dad.

  “Lou, I know it’s late, but is everything okay with your boyfriend?”

  I frown. “What?”

  “I was just passing the halls in the hospital, and I’m pretty sure I saw Hunter.”


  My heart starts pounding. “Is he hurt?”

  “No, he’s not. I think he was dropping someone off. Look, I’m heading home, but I can stay and find out for you?”

  I push my hair from my face. “No, it’s okay. I’ll call him. Thanks, dad.”

  “No problem sweetie.”

  I call Hunter as soon as I hang up. “Dammit.” It’s switched off. I try again but get the same result. I place it beside me and rest my head on my pillow. I hope he calls me back. And I hope I can stay awake long enough to answer. I haven’t slept properly since I’ve been away because I’ve been walking around with that ache inside my stomach from thinking about Hunter. I’ve been going to sleep with the thoughts about what he’s doing inside my head. I’m still angry with him, but I love him. Now I have had my space and time to think, I don’t want to be away from him anymore.

  Chapter 32

  Louisa

  I open my eyes because I feel a presence near me, and I should be startled to find a furious Hunter staring at me. I should be angry that he has his arms crossed like he has every right to be mad. I should be pissed that he has clearly come into my dorm without permission. I turn over and throw the blanket over my head. I’m not ready to have a row. And I’m not done with sleeping.

  “Go away,” I mumble into my pillow, hoping he will listen. Hunter being Hunter–he doesn’t listen.

  “You’ve been ignoring me.” He says. “You went away for a long weekend without telling me.”

  I reach for my earphones because I know the sound of Owl City is the only thing that is going to stop my body heating up from the sound of his voice.

  “Go away, Hunter.” I’m about to put in my earphones, but he swipes them out of my hands.

  “Go away? I need an explanation, Lou! You left without one word. Do you know the hell I’ve been going through?”

  That statement makes me throw the blanket off my body, and I swing my legs furiously out of bed. I catch my ankle on the wooden leg, but I’m so angry I don’t have time to complain.