by Linda Broday
“My father would get drunk and disappear for weeks at a time. To buy food, my mother washed clothes on a rub board until her fingers bled. One night we were walking by the alley next to the saloon on our way home. A man grabbed my mother and pulled her into the alley. Kicking and clawing, I fought as hard as I could to get him off her. Somehow I managed to get his gun out of the holster. I killed the piece of filth. Shot him in the heart. I was Ben’s age.”
The pure hatred in his voice chilled her. When he met her gaze, his cold gray stare frightened her.
“Is this what you wanted to know? Happy now?”
Tears trickled down Delta’s face. She knelt and took his hands in hers. “You only did what anyone would’ve done. You were a little boy protecting his mother. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Didn’t you hear me? I’m a murderer. My father taught me to kill. He always told me that I have his blood in my veins. It’s true. I watched him beat my mother to death a few months later. I’m just like him.”
“No, you’re not. Don’t ever say that. You’re a kind, decent man. You care about people. What you’ve done for Jenny and Ben proves it. You didn’t have to see to their needs. But you did. And there are countless others. That alone sets you apart from your father.”
“Didn’t you just hear anything I said?”
“I heard every word. But I still don’t see why you believe you have to stay single.”
“I’ll not pass on these murdering tendencies to innocent children. It stops with me.”
“That’s crazy.” Delta cupped his stubbled jaw. He had more to give than he knew. Cooper had more honor and more heart than anyone. If only she could find the words to convince him.
“It’s what I know. That man I just told you about wasn’t the only one I killed. It just got easier to pull the trigger after that.” He rubbed his eyes as though to rid them of images.
“Who else?” she whispered, afraid to hear the answer.
“Tolbert Early.”
“But he’s not dead.”
“By all rights he should be. I meant for it. He just won’t stay dead is the trouble.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve told you this much, so I might as well finish. Then you’ll see what a real prize I am.” He rose and stood looking out the window into the blackness that he probably thought resembled his soul.
She listened to his tale about the escape from the orphan train, the bathhouse in Missouri, and how when he was fourteen he shot Early in cold blood for what he did to Brett. By the time Cooper finished, she hated Early every bit as much as he did. The man deserved fire and brimstone, for he was surely Satan.
Cooper turned to her. “Now do you understand why this…we…can never be? I’m sure you’re counting yourself lucky that I didn’t uphold the marriage agreement, even though I didn’t make it.”
“I see a great many things. One is that you are not your father. No one could be more different. You have a caring, loving heart and a soft spot for abused women, little boys, and mistreated animals.” Delta moved to stand in front of him and laid her hand on his chest. “I wish I’d have known all this before now.”
“Then you agree that we dodged a bullet?”
“Never. I don’t think marriage is out of the question for you. Maybe for me, though. You haven’t heard the secret I carried all the way from Georgia, praying it wouldn’t follow, so afraid people would find out.”
He shook his head. “Nothing can be worse than mine.”
Taking her arm, he urged her to take a seat on the bed. When she did, he sat next to her.
“I can’t,” she whispered. “I just can’t.”
“Nothing you can say would make me turn away in disgust.” He smoothed back her hair.
Delta was far from reassured. “Why is it our parents can hurt us the most? They’re supposed to love and protect us.”
“Wish I had the answer.” His sensual mouth was so near as he drew little circles in the palm of her hand.
“My mother was never married,” she blurted out before she lost her nerve. “I’m a bastard child.”
From there, she spilled the story about the worthless father who refused to claim her, about how he came from a wealthy family, and about how he passed her on the street with not a flicker of recognition. “I might as well have been a stranger for all the notice he took of me.”
The muscles in Cooper’s jaw bunched. “I can’t imagine your pain. Few people have more courage and determination than you do.”
“I wish that were so. No one accepted me. The other children called me names—some don’t bear repeating. The adults were no better. I’ve always stood outside, looking in. Each time the people in Cedartown threw a dance, I’d go and watch from the shadows, dreaming that one brave man would ask me to waltz with him. No one ever did. I began going out in the woods, twirling around, pretending to be in the arms of someone who loved me.”
Cooper lifted her hand and pressed a kiss on her palm. “They were fools.”
“My mother was never strong, though she did try to love me. I represented her fall from grace and the reason for all her problems. She died a broken, scarlet woman, and I’m still a bastard child. I belong to no one.”
When a tear slipped out and ran down her cheek, Cooper wiped it away with his thumb.
“In a desperate attempt to escape all that, I jumped at the chance to come West. I’ve heard that out here a woman can start over, become anyone she wants.”
His breath fluttered the hair at her temple as he whispered, “Who do you want to be, Delta?”
She thought long and hard. “Someone with a big heart that everyone loves and respects.”
“You’re already that and more. You’re a survivor and you’re made of stern stuff.”
He lowered his head and kissed her hard with a passion that seemed to come all the way from his toes. Delta closed her eyes and let it seep into every crevice of her heart, past the pain, the open wounds, and the scorn that sought to destroy her.
Though the baring of her soul had been excruciating, she felt free now and very grateful to be alive.
Getting to his feet, Cooper pulled her up. “Come here, you.”
“Why? What are you going to do?”
“Dance with me.” His hand slid to her waist and he tugged her tightly against him. They were so near, she could feel his warm breath caressing her skin.
“But there’s no music.”
“There’s not? Surely if I can hear it, you can.”
Delta sighed happily, relaxing in his arms. He rested his chin on the top of her head and they moved around the room, Cooper in his boots and she in her nightgown and bare feet.
How long they danced, she didn’t know. Being so close to this magnificent man, his hardness pressing into her stomach, breathing his scent, made her heart race like a herd of stampeding horses.
Then somehow the band must’ve stopped playing. She found herself lying on the bed. Cooper lay beside her, his hands magic on her body. He ran them over her breasts, to her stomach, and down her legs.
Tingles followed wherever he went. The smoldering desire she’d felt that night in the moonlight returned tenfold. She was surprised she didn’t burst into flames.
When exactly he removed her wrapper, she couldn’t have said.
He unbuttoned her gown and ran the pads of his thumbs across the sensitive tips of her bared breasts.
Delta sucked in her breath. Sensations rolled over her in hot, steamy waves, each one stronger than the one before.
But nothing prepared her for the pleasure that lit a fiery path inside her as he took her nipple into his mouth. Her thoughts scattered like dandelion seeds in the wind.
She barely noticed when he removed her gown, untied her drawers, and tossed them aside. He stroked the soft folds between
her thighs.
Delicious spirals of heat sent her heavenward, and she found herself in the clouds looking down. She was on the brink of some kind of desire for which she had no name, something very erotic and wanton.
Love for this man who’d carried the weight of the world on his shoulders far too long washed over her.
Twenty-nine
Cooper undressed and stretched his hard body on top of her. He didn’t know how much longer he could wait. He was ready to explode with need. Every nerve cried out for release.
He stared down at the woman who made him desire things he’d long denied himself, made him see that the future bore no resemblance to the past, made him crazy with want. Darkness and shame no longer shrouded the path before him.
Delta arched her back, straining for completion. Albeit new to this, she was an earth child, a passionate lover.
Intense hunger for what she gave so willingly made him tremble. Lord knew he wasn’t good enough for her. Never would be. She saw the man he’d always wanted to be, and that humbled him.
Drawing in a ragged breath, he entered her and let her tight warmth envelop him.
No longer would he always take. From now on, he would give. Delta Dandridge would have all the things that she’d missed out on.
As release came to both of them, he swept his mouth across hers and took her cries into him, cherishing the woman who’d looked past all his faults and found a spark of good.
Afterward, they lay spent, their skin covered with a thin sheen of perspiration. Lying next to her, Cooper reached for her hand and entwined her fingers through his. It worried him that she had yet to speak. Maybe she had second thoughts about giving herself to a man like him.
“Are you all right, Delta?”
Rising up, she laid her head on his chest. “I never knew it would be like that. It was more than I ever dreamed. I guess this makes me a fallen woman in society’s eyes. But I’d do it all over again. I don’t regret a thing. Do you?”
“Just that I wasted so much time getting to this point.”
“I’m glad you appeared at my window tonight. Thank you for watching over me and not letting Early hurt me.”
He kissed her fingers. “Thank you for opening the window. I’ll admit I wouldn’t have placed any bets. The odds of losing were too great. You were quite angry.”
“With good reason,” she said firmly. “But you more than made up for your mistakes.”
“Thank heavens. For such a little thing, you can sure be a regular spitfire. Of course, that’s one of the things I lo—like about you,” he quickly amended.
When she rolled away, presenting her back to him, he reached for her and pulled her flush against him. They lay on their sides, his body curled protectively around hers, and like a pair of spoons, they fit together perfectly. Cooper cupped her breast and exhaled a soft breath, wondering at this new turn in his life. He didn’t want to ever lose her. She was his now.
But what did this mean?
Was he prepared to do the right thing?
He’d been a bachelor all his life with no plans for his status to change. Making love to her would inevitably bring changes. Could he accept that?
The sky began to lighten a bit. It would be dawn soon and people would begin to stir. He kissed her smooth shoulder. “I’ve got to get dressed and get out of here. I won’t give people a chance to talk. You’ve endured more than your share.”
Delta rolled over. She looked a sight, with her tousled golden hair and thoroughly kissed lips. “I suppose you’re right, but I wish you could stay for breakfast. I’m not ready to say good-bye.”
The bed shifted when he stood and reached for his trousers. “I don’t know when I’ll see you again. Might not be until I finish this business with Early.”
***
Despondency enveloped Delta. Would things return to the way they had been, with her going one way and him another? Maybe he’d throw her back in, now that he’d caught her again. “What’s going to happen to us, Cooper?”
“I don’t know.” His low voice sounded unsure.
When she shifted her gaze to his broad back, she gave a little cry. “Your scars. You said you have Tolbert Early to thank for the ones on your belly, but your back. What happened?”
Razor-thin scars crisscrossed his back in a painful pattern. Tears welled up in her eyes. He’d suffered so much.
“My father had a nasty temper. Thought he could whip the devil out of my soul.”
“If they hanged him when you were only seven, you had to have been even younger when this took place. Oh, Cooper, I’m so sorry.” How could she not have noticed during the night? She pulled on her gown. Going to him, she pressed her lips to his scarred flesh.
Cooper shrugged his shoulders, his coldness returning. “The nature of the beast. It’s over and done with. That’s another reason why I will never have children.”
Nothing was fair. Life wasn’t fair. Some people had everything, and others like Cooper had only nightmares and pain. Her complaints seemed inconsequential in comparison to what he’d suffered, and she was ashamed she’d even mentioned them. Now it all made sense why he felt such a connection to Ben. Her heart ached for all the unwanted and abused children of the world.
She’d always heard people talk about how we draw our strength and our character from those who came before. But Cooper had gotten none of that from his father. And his mother had died before she got a chance to teach her son much. Maybe it was Isaac Daffern who had not only given Cooper a sense of direction but taught him the ways of an honorable man.
And where had Delta gotten her fierce determination to never give up, to keep trying when all seemed lost? It wasn’t from her father, because he had given up on her before she was even born. Nor her mother either. Phoebe Dandridge had been a weak woman who cried all the time. Delta must owe it to her Irish grandmother. Seemed logical.
Cooper lost no time in pulling his shirt over his head as though embarrassed she’d seen his scars. Seconds later, he drew his boots on, strapped on his holster, and settled his hat on his head. Delta handed him his jacket.
“Thanks,” he said. “When all this is over, we’ll figure out where we go from here.”
She nodded. Swallowing the lump clogging her throat, she tilted her head for his kiss. “Be safe.”
“Always. Watch out for Early. If you need me—”
“I’ll find a way to get word to you.”
The door swung open silently into the dark hallway. He disappeared down the staircase. She didn’t know what lay in wait for him. Or for her either. All she knew was that he’d shown her a path to a beautiful world beyond the stars and she didn’t want to return to her lonely existence.
“Please, God, if you’ve a mind to grant wishes, watch over him,” she whispered.
She curled up on the bed, clasping to her chest the pillow that had cradled his head. It still carried his scent. If only she could turn back the clock and relive the last few hours.
But that wasn’t possible. She stared at the ceiling until daybreak, then forced herself to get up and wash away the signs of their lovemaking.
***
The day was half-over when Jenny Barclay walked into the mercantile. Delta gave a happy cry and hugged her friend. “I’m so glad to see you. And you’re in time for the first meeting of our women’s club. We’re having it at the boardinghouse.”
“I prayed I wouldn’t miss it. Rand brought me back to town. I couldn’t pry Ben away from the ranch, so I let him stay for a few more days.” The glow in Jenny’s eyes was a welcome thing to see. “I heard about your scare with Tolbert Early. I can’t imagine how frightened you must’ve been.”
“Thank goodness Cooper interrupted the diabolical man before he could carry out his plans. Why don’t you go unpack your things and rest? I’ll see you in two hours.”
“I’m too excited to rest. I’ll probably help Mabel.”
As her dear friend started to turn, Delta stopped her. “Have you seen Cooper?”
“No. If he comes to the ranch at all, it’s long after dark and he’s gone when I get up. I’m so worried about him. He can’t keep going like this.”
“I’m worried too.” Delta watched Jenny leave. She was afraid of Cooper’s obsession with Early. Understanding why didn’t make it any easier. She’d hoped Cooper had returned to the ranch after he left her this morning.
Getting her troubled thoughts off Cooper wasn’t easy, but she managed by recalling the bloom in Jenny’s cheeks. Delta’s heart filled with pride for the woman who’d refused to be a victim. Jenny had so much courage and a love of helping others. Like Delta, she simply wanted to make a difference in one part of the world.
When three o’clock came, Delta told John that she was off and headed to the boardinghouse. Twenty-five women of all ages came. Since it was far too many for the house, they held their first meeting under a big hickory tree in the backyard. They elected Delta their president.
“This club will be open to everyone, with no restrictions,” she began. “We welcome each woman. Now, what will our official title be? Any suggestions?”
Jenny raised her hand. “How about Women of Vision?”
“I like that. Any other ideas?”
“Visionary Women’s Garden Club?” Mabel said.
Delta asked for other possible names but got no response. She called for a vote on Women of Vision and almost every hand rose. She was glad because the name was very fitting.
After electing Mabel as secretary, they discussed their projects and made a list.
The first order of business was getting a schoolteacher. “We need to form a committee to talk to the mayor about how to pay for his or her salary,” Delta said.
Jenny, Violet, and Naomi Ratliff volunteered. Naomi had dark circles under her eyes from apparent lack of sleep and wore a harried expression. Delta supposed her appearance and zeal in getting a teacher was due to the fact she had ten children at home all under the age of eleven. A teacher might very well save the woman’s sanity.