Mom’s forehead crinkled with worry lines as she handed me back my phone. “You decided not to go to prom?”
“No. It wouldn’t have been the same going without Barry.”
She nodded. “I take it there’s been no progress where he’s concerned?”
“No. He still won’t even look at me,” I said, banging the table a little too forcefully. “The last time we made eye contact was when we went kayaking.” After he punched Micha, I intentionally left out. In that moment I thought I saw a hint of forgiveness, but two weeks later, nothing. I kept telling myself to move on, but really…where would I move on to? It was impossible to develop that bond with someone and then shut it off. Everyone kept telling me he’d come around in time, but I no longer believed that. After a month with no progress, hopelessness prevailed. I tried to stay strong, but I missed him so much. If I felt this way, shouldn’t he? It made me doubt he had ever loved me in the first place. If I was in his position, I would definitely have caved by now.
“I’m sorry, honey. He had too many things burdening him at once,” Mom said, standing. “Plus, he’s a guy, they take longer to straighten everything out,” she added with a wink.
“Thanks, Mom. I’m all right, really.”
“I know you know this already, but it will get easier as time passes. Believe me, I know.”
The doorbell chimed, putting an end to our conversation. With a sympathetic smile, she left to get the door.
“Thanks Mom,” I said as she walked to the foyer. “Tell the detective I said hi.”
She smiled genuinely. “I will.”
She retreated around the corner, and I stared after her. She just made another reference about my dad. She never brings him up. His departure was mysterious to me, and I was unclear on whether even she knew all the details. Those blocked memories filtered in on occasion, and I remembered certain parts against my wishes. But Mom always masked her feelings well. I had honestly believed she didn’t care, which was why her statement threw me off guard. It will get easier as time passes? Believe me? Her tone suggested that she had cared for him. Deeply. But considering she hardly ever mentioned him, I wasn’t sure.
The last thing I wanted to think about was my stupid father, so I made my way to my bedroom to grab a book. There was homework that needed to be done, but I refused to be the lame girl who sat at home on prom night doing homework.
I scanned the limited collection on my bookshelf, and immediately excluded all high school drama and romance books. A love fest between couples was the last thing I needed to read while my friends were at prom. I smiled and pulled The City of Bones off the shelf. Paranormal fantasy was exactly what I needed. Right…because the paranormal fantasy genre doesn’t describe my life.
I walked back into the living room, grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch, and sat. I snuggled against the cushions and started reading. I was just getting to the part where the main character opens her door to a vandalized apartment when the doorbell rang. My head whipped toward the sound. I tossed the book aside, wondering if it was Barry at the door. My heart quickened as I rose and sprinted toward the doorway.
My jaw dropped the moment I saw who was standing at my front door. Expecting Barry, I was shocked to see Nicholas Canter.
He smirked, acting as if he belonged on my porch. Minus the cast and bruises, he seemed even more handsome. Was that even possible? I just stared. His allure rendered me speechless.
Moving his hands inside the pockets of his shorts, he muttered a simple, “Hey.”
His baritone voice broke my trance. I cleared my throat, asking, “Nicholas, what are you doing here?”
He shrugged. “I wanted to see you again, is that all right?”
“I’m not sure. What would your girlfriend say if she knew you kept visiting me?” There I asked it. I might not have been subtle, but I didn’t want to keep questioning his intentions while I pictured his girlfriend’s sorrowful face.
He lifted his chin slightly and cocked his head to the side. “Um, after everything came out, she broke up with me. I think it was more her father’s doing than hers, but the results the same.”
I frowned, not sure how to process that information. It didn’t make sense; she had seemed so upset when Detective Tanner had paid her a visit. Besides, it didn’t really matter if he was attracted to me. While I found him cute, there was only one guy who held that place in my heart, and he wasn’t standing in front of me.
I shifted my stance. “Look, Nick, I’m not sure this is such a good idea.”
“Hey, I just came to talk. I thought you may need a friend tonight.”
The sincerity in his voice was touching. I moved back and opened the door wider, ignoring any residual anxiety. “You’re welcome to come in, if you want.”
He smiled tenderly as he made his way inside. “I took a chance you were home tonight. On my way over, I saw people dressed up, so I take it tonight’s prom?” He stood against the wall and waited for me.
While shutting the door, I sighed. “Yes, that would be correct,” I said, leading us into the living room. My stomach grumbled, reminding me that I still needed to eat. “Have you eaten yet? I was going to order a pizza.”
“Sure. That sounds great.”
He grinned like I had suggested myself as the entrèe. I wanted to tell him it’s only pizza, not to put any meaning behind it, but I dropped it. Even though his actions were annoying, it still beat being alone.
Like the last time we were together, the evening flew by. Conversation with Nick came easily, and he held my attention enough to keep my mind off of the negatives. Maybe since we shared a common–bond of tragedy and broken hearts, it made us able to relate to each other. Whatever the reason, I liked conversing with him.
While we discussed many things, college was the most interesting subject. He explained how much of an adjustment campus life was compared to high school. Although the classes were demanding, the additional freedom was nice. He also pointed out that you’re in charge of yourself, since there was no one to hold your hand. That seemed appealing.
He confessed about partying too much. Most of his friends were into drinking and drugs, and now that he wanted to change direction and be sober, he had no one to hang with. He admitted he feared slipping back into old habits if he hung around them again. The longer he talked, the more my heart broke. He obviously didn’t know where to turn, so dismissing him as a friend wasn’t an option. Just as long as he realized it would remain a friendship.
“Thanks for tonight. If nothing else, I’d like us to be friends,” he said sincerely.
“I’d like that too, Nick.”
After he left, I had just settled back onto the couch when another knock echoed through the house. Thinking perhaps Nicholas had forgotten something, I opened the door with a laugh. “Nick, did you forget…”
My breath caught as the words became stuck in my throat. The last person I’d ever expect was standing on my doorstep.
~25~
Acceptance
Time stopped as I stood motionless. My heart pounded in my chest, reminding me I was indeed alive, just petrified. Was he really here? I blinked a few times, but he didn’t disappear. I imagined this scenario earlier, except in my imagination, Barry wasn’t scowling.
“Nick? You’re on a first name basis now?” he asked.
My mouth parted. That snapped me out of my funk. Barry hadn’t talked to me in well over a month, and that was his opening line?
“Does it matter?”
Barry ran his right hand through his hair, before settling it behind his neck. “No. Yes. Maybe…I don’t know,” he said, shoving both hands under his arms.
“Barry, why are you here?” I asked warily.
My breathing stopped as his stare bore into me, completely immobilizing me.
In a clipped fashion he asked, “Why was Nicholas Canter here again?”
I groaned. “Why do you care? You haven’t said one word to me for over a mo
nth. Hell, you won’t even look at me. So why do you care who comes over? Am I supposed to just sit in my house all by myself? Is that what you want? Would that make you happy?”
I stood there with my hands on my hips as I tossed out questions. But when I was through, the fight within him deflated in front of my eyes. Instantly, I felt horrible for being so harsh, but he pushed me to my breaking point. This turmoil had brewed inside me for weeks. Piling up. Without proper closure, I never had a chance to say my part. He just walked away and quit talking.
His hardened expression softened as his eyelids drooped. Clearly defeated, my heart turned to mush, and I wanted to console him. That need had never been so strong, and it took all my will power to keep from crossing the barrier between us.
“Heather, look, I’m…” He glanced away for a few seconds as if he was trying to collect his thoughts. When his gaze landed back on mine, he continued, “Can I come in? We need to talk.”
For the second time tonight, I anxiously stepped back to let a boy enter my home. When did my life become so complicated?
Barry made his way into the living room with me trailing close behind. As we rounded the corner, his body stiffened before pausing mid–stride. I followed his eyes and noticed the leftover pizza and plates. First impressions made it seem like I had a cozy night with Nick planned, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Although I enjoyed his company, it wasn’t how I intended to spend my evening, and I did nothing wrong. But noticing Barry’s clenched jaw working back and forth, the guilt sprung forward—regardless of whether it was right or not.
I nibbled on my bottom lip. “I’ll clear this out of our way, first.”
Barry remained quiet as I gathered the empty plates and cups. While placing them on top of the pizza box, I had a strong desire to apologize before I reminded myself that my actions didn’t warrant an apology. I didn’t need to apologize for having a friend over, and I wouldn’t.
Ever.
But I could make it easier for Barry by getting rid of the evidence and not flaunting it in his face.
When I came back into the living room, Barry was sitting on the couch—thankfully on the opposite side from where Nick had sat. Not wanting to put distance between us like I had with Nick, I sat on the other end of the couch. I leaned against the armrest and drew my legs underneath me so I was sitting crossed–legged. I wanted direct vision—a clear shot. There wasn’t any way I would miss his expressions.
As he brought his eyes back toward mine, he clenched his lower jaw. His mandible was getting such a workout tonight, I almost felt sorry for it. Can you feel sorry for a body part? It was exceedingly obvious that whatever he wanted to say worried him. I swallowed in anticipation, not sure why I cared. I mean, how many times can a guy break your heart?
He remained sitting there silent, so I did the same. Afraid if I talked, it would interrupt whatever internal struggle he was having with himself, and I didn’t want to take the chance that he might give up and go home. The longer we sat, the more the silence weighed on my chest.
As I waited anxiously in anticipation to what he would say, the annoying ticking of the clock became louder with each passing second.
At last, he seemed to snap out of his funk. Tilting his head toward me, his eyes softened as a silent plea of help clouded over them. “Heather, I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Why don’t you just start at the beginning?”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. While slowly exhaling, he reopened them, staring directly at me. “I owe you an apology.”
Well, that was unexpected. I shook my head to disagree.
He raised his hands, stopping me. “No, Heather, I do. It wasn’t fair of me to treat you like that. You deserved better. But I felt so deceived, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.”
I cringed because that was what I had feared the most. Deception was the hardest thing for any couple to overcome. It made people no longer trust each other, and once that trust was gone, the bond between them started to diminish too. That sickening sensation swarmed my stomach as I questioned the strength of his love for me. If the last month was any sign, reconciliation seemed void.
“After the feds arrested Mom, I just wanted to get away from everything and everybody—including you. When I walked away, and you told me you loved me, my first thought was finally, you admitted it. That made me happy, but…” He paused as he inhaled deeply. “ I couldn’t process it. I needed to get away. I wanted to blame you, but I knew it wasn’t your fault. I tried hating you, but I couldn’t.” A single tear ran down my cheek, but I let it fall. Captivated by his admission, I remained quiet as he forged ahead.
“Heather, this past month has been hell for me. I was lost without you. The crap with my mother, that’s nothing compared to losing you. God…”
Pain flitted across his face. Again I had to restrain from grabbing ahold of him. My heart was thumping so fast in my chest, the echo drowned out that stupid clock. What was he trying to tell me? That he still loved me? That he had never stopped?
He ran his hands along his face before giving me an intense stare that took my last breath. “When I saw you talking to Nick, I almost lost it. It kills me watching other guys stare at you as if they had a chance. And that guy at the river—I wanted to punch him for touching you.” With a humorless laugh, he grunted, “It’s no wonder I was so quick to punch Micha.”
“Barry, that guy at the river was only helping me up because I slipped. It meant nothing. And Micha, well, he threw the first punch.”
“I saw the way he stared at you, he wanted to do more than help, believe me. Micha, he’s just a jerk. I don’t think he’ll be a problem anymore.” His face grew serious. “Am I too late? Have you already fallen out of love with me?”
After forcing a swallow, I took a sharp intake of air and leaned toward him naturally. What I needed to say had to be said perfectly, or I’d risk losing him forever.
“The funny thing about love is: you can’t control it. There isn’t a shut–off valve to your heart. Our time apart should have sealed the gaping hole you left, but it didn’t. Instead, my feelings deepened for you while leaving that wound wide open.”
A tender smile spread across his face as he released the breath he held. “I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, me too,” I said tenderly.
“Come here,” he demanded with his arms spread open.
I slid across the couch until I reached Barry. He immediately wrapped his arms around me, and the security I’d craved came rushing forward. I leaned my head into his chest and squeezed back. He tightened his grip around me and planted a kiss on the top of my head.
“I’m so sorry for messing up prom,” he whispered, his voice dripping with remorse.
“It’s only a dance,” I said. Honestly, I couldn’t think of a better evening than cuddling in his arms.
“A very important dance.”
I leaned back and held his gaze. “We have next year.”
The half–grin I’d missed so much appeared. “We have next year,” he agreed while drawing me into his embrace and giving me a long overdue kiss.
~26~
Consternation
Mom was in the kitchen the next morning sipping coffee when I entered. “Did you have a good time with Tanner last night?” I asked my tone too cheery for this time of the morning.
She placed her coffee cup on the table. “Yes, I did. He took me back to his house where he had a wonderful meal cooked for me. Turns out he’s good at more things than just investigating,” she answered, smiling.
“Mother, please,” I scolded playfully.
“What…?” She shook her head. “Oh, no, I just meant he knows his way around the kitchen.”
Judging by how red her cheeks became, I should feel sorry for embarrassing her. Instead, I laughed while pouring myself a cup of joe.
“So what did you end up doing last night? You’re awfully happy today,” she a
sked, redirecting the topic.
I sat down at the table across from her, and shrugged. “Nothing much. I had a visitor.” Or two.
Her eyebrow arched. “Are you going to tell me who or leave me hanging?”
A mischievous smile spread across my face. “About an hour after you left, Nicholas showed up.” I had to bite my lower lip to keep from laughing at her surprised reaction.
“And this made you happy?”
“Well, yeah.” It led to better things.
“Do you like this Nicholas?” she asked, but didn’t give me time to respond. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea to get involved with him now.”
I couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Mom, I don’t like Nicholas. Not like that anyway. He’s a great guy, cute and all, but please.”
Cocking her head to the side, she wrinkled her nose slightly. “Then what’s made that sparkle reappear in your eye?”
Sparkle? What sparkle? Barry’s had been burned–out for some time so it makes sense. I guess. “After Nick left, I had a visit from Barry.” An understanding smile settled in her eyes. “I think Nick made him jealous. Anyway, we talked things over and we’re at least back on speaking terms.”
“Good. One step at a time, baby girl.” She patted my hand.
“That’s what I intend to do.”
~~~~~
“Hey, beautiful,” Barry said when I greeted him at my door.
I smiled. I’d missed the easiness of being around him so much.
“Hey, come on in. I just have a few more things to prepare.”
The night before, Barry had decided to take me to Frontier Park for a picnic and a hike. I thought it would be nice to spend the day together without any interruptions, so I immediately agreed. He made a rule, though: we could bring our cellphones, but we had to leave them in the car.
He walked into the house, and his head automatically lowered toward me. His hesitation caused my gaze to shift and connect with his. The seriousness displayed in his eyes was unfathomable, and my stomach clenched, not knowing how to interpret it.
Deceptions (The Mystical Encounter Series Book 2) Page 17