“Oh, it’s nothing personal,” she answered, blowing out a puff of cotton candy scented vapor. “She had a thing with Declan and can’t stand the fact that he isn’t interested in going down that road again.”
With a twist of my gut, I asked as casually as I could, “How long ago was that?”
Claire scrunched her nose up and thought for a second. “Let’s see, maybe a year ago or so? Like I said, old news.”
Actually, she hadn’t said that, but I got her meaning. Translation: well before you came along.
While there were times I couldn’t recall my life before Declan, the auburn beauty’s dark looks were a stark reminder that up until very recently, he’d led a very different sort of life. Even though I knew being with him meant accepting his past, coming face to face with one of the women he’d fucked felt abysmal. Striving to hide my real feelings, I squared my shoulders and took a drink of my beer. Feigning disinterest, I said, “Right, old news.”
“A word of advice?” Claire asked, eyeing me thoughtfully.
I nodded, taking another sip of my beer.
“I’ve known Maggie a couple of years now, and women like her for much longer. She’s going to try to make trouble for you. Don’t let her.”
I dragged my eyes across the room and watched as Declan told a story that had everyone around him laughing. Sensing my gaze, he turned my way and smiled, raising his beer to me in salute. I grinned back then trailed my eyes to where Maggie stood in a corner, commiserating with three women. As they whispered frantically at each other, one of them cast me furtive glances.
“I have too,” I told Claire, remembering all the women who’d acted the same way around my dad. “I’ve been around them my whole life, in fact.”
Declan’s not your dad, the voice in my head rushed to assure me. I knew that, I really did. And yet …
“I sense there’s a story there,” Claire said, raising a curious eyebrow.
Keeping my eyes trained on Maggie, I filled her in. “My grandfather owns a pro basketball team back in America. Let’s just say my dad left my mom for a Maggie when I was eight.”
“Ah,” she responded knowingly. “Professional sports do tend to attract a certain sort, do they not?
I smirked. “What does that say about you and me?”
She nudged her hip against mine with a chuckle. “Oh, you and me, we’re alright. It’s that lot over there that gives the rest of us a bad name.”
Her voice going serious again, she added, “Being with Declan, you’re going to meet a lot of vultures. Ugly, vile people. Don’t let them tear you down.”
That’s what I was worried about. It had been the main reason I’d initially fought my attraction when we’d first met. I’d witnessed firsthand how wives and girlfriends of professional athletes all too frequently became ex-wives and ex-girlfriends. I very much wanted to avoid that trap.
Brightening, Claire continued, “But you’ll also meet some of the most loyal ones too. People like my Fetu, who considers Declan a brother. Aidan and Liam too.”
“I can tell,” I told her, because it was obvious they really did love him, and despite him telling me none of them actually knew him, I wondered if some of that was because he’d been trying to figure out who he was too. Maybe now that he had a better grip on the type of man he wanted to be, he’d let them in the way he’d done with me.
“Hey baby,” Declan greeted, wrapping his arms around me from behind and dropping his chin on my shoulder. “I need to make a snack run. Aidan sent the caterer home already and he’s out of food. You okay with Claire?”
I twisted in his arms so we stood face to face. “Are you okay to drive?”
He’d had a beer in his hands all night and I wasn’t sure leaving was the smartest decision. He looked and sounded fine, but I didn’t want him out on the roads if he wasn’t.
His eyes sparkled and he grinned. Leaning forward, he whispered against my cheek, “The trick is to always have a bottle in your hand and, when no one’s watching, you fill it with water.”
“Very clever,” I murmured as his tongue snaked out to caress the shell of my ear.
“I’m a very clever boy. Remind me to show you later just how clever,” he remarked, his teeth grazing my earlobe before he stepped away. “I hate to leave you all alone but Sean and I are the only ones not drinking, so …”
“Be gone with you.” I shooed him away and looped my arm through Claire’s. “I’ll be fine. I’m trying to persuade Claire to tell me a ton of embarrassing stories about you.”
Declan gripped the back of his neck and bit his lip. “Maybe I shouldn’t go after all.”
When Claire accused him of being scared about what she’d reveal, he dropped his hand and fisted it at his side. “I am not.”
“You are!” she accused, laughing. “This is hilarious.” Turning, she called her husband over. “Fetu! You have to come here.”
When the Fijian joined us, she said to him, “When was the last time you saw Declan nervous?”
Fetu eyed Declan and shook his head. “His first big game, then never again. Nerves of steel, this one. Why do you ask?
Claire’s lips hitched up in a wicked grin. “Because right now he’s terrified I’m going to spill all his deep dark secrets to his Sophie.”
Declan’s eyes jumped to mine. Those weren’t nerves I saw staring back at me wide-eyed. Whatever was going on in his head was something else entirely.
Oblivious to Declan’s reaction, Fetu and Claire shared a laugh. “Leave him alone Claire. We want Sophie to stick around, not run away.”
Pushing aside my own trepidation, I fisted my hand in Declan’s shirt and pulled him to me to plant a quick kiss on his lips. “It’s fine, really. Go,” I said, pushing him away. “I won’t let Claire malign your good name … too much.”
His eyes searched mine for a beat. “Yeah, okay. Half an hour, tops, and I’ll be back.”
“I’ll be fine,” I assured him.
Famous last words, right?
For fifteen minutes, Claire stuck by my side while she shared a handful of embarrassing but harmless stories about Declan when he’d first gotten the call up to the senior team. Unfortunately when nature called, it called, and I was left standing by myself for a few minutes before I ambled toward the kitchen.
I was in the process of pouring my beer down the drain to and fill the bottle with water from the tap when Maggie and a short blonde stepped into the room behind me.
“So,” Maggie said, leaning her hip against the counter while the other women stood next to her. “You must be Declan’s latest piece.”
Claire’s words echoing in my head, I tried not to let her get to me.
“Excuse me,” I responded, moving to step around her friend. “I’ll just be getting back to the party.”
The blonde blocked me in and Maggie joined her. “I don’t think so.”
I looked between the two, so different and yet so alike. Both had hard, angry eyes they were using to try and intimidate me, and their mouths were pinched tight. I was pretty sure their matching oversized breasts were courtesy of the same (bad) plastic surgeon.
“Are you really not going to move?”
“We just want to have a friendly chat,” the blonde said. “About Declan.”
As if she needed to clarify what she meant. As if they weren’t completely obvious.
I set my bottle on the counter and leaned back, my arms angled over my (natural) chest. “Chat away then ladies.”
Since I wasn’t going to bulldoze my way past them, the only way I was getting out of here was to let them say their piece. I abhorred conflict; had shied away from it my whole life. Whenever I was faced with a scenario like this—which, thankfully, wasn’t often—my stomach dropped and I felt ill. That reaction was the main reason I’d never defended myself when Declan and I had been kids. Right now I felt like I wanted to wretch.
“You must be good,” Maggie sneered.
Even though I knew I was walking
right into her trap, I had to know what she was talking about. “I don’t follow.”
“To keep him coming back,” the blonde answered. “That’s new for him.”
I bit my tongue to keep from responding. I will not be baited, I will not be baited, I will not be baited I chanted in my mind.
“She’s not from here though. Maybe she doesn’t know how Declan really is,” Maggie said, her angry eyes scrutinizing me before her face split into a snide grin. “Actually, I think she does.”
“Yeah, I’d say she knows he won’t be faithful. That he hasn’t been faithful,” her companion added, her head angled to the side as her eyes roved my face. A face I knew had turned a deep, mottled red with anger, shame, and embarrassment.
Do not let them see you flinch, my subconscious implored.
“Aww,” Maggie drawled. “Look at her. She actually doesn’t know.”
Lifting my chin high, I bit out, “Whatever game you’re trying to play, you can stop. It’s not going to work.” Inwardly I sighed with relief. My voice hadn’t shaken at all. While my blotchy skin might have given away my feelings, at least my words hadn’t betrayed me.
Maggie continued, undaunted. “I heard the lovely Claire say you and Declan have been together for a couple of months now.” Her statement, spoken with disdain, wasn’t one she’d meant for me to respond to. At least I hadn’t thought it was until after a couple of tense, silent moments she drawled, “Well?”
“Well, what?” I shot back, tiring of this game.
“You and Declan have been together what, two months now?”
“Yes, that’s right,” I answered, bile churning in my gut as I figured out where this was heading.
“That’s interesting Annie, don’tcha think?” Maggie asked, her eyes gleaming with malice.
“Very interesting,” Annie agreed.
I knew they wanted me to ask why it was interesting, just as I knew I wouldn’t find it interesting at all. I knew I shouldn’t ask … and yet despite the many reasons why I knew I shouldn’t, I did anyway. “Alright, I can see you’re dying to tell me. Why is that interesting?”
“Oh goody!” Maggie cooed excitedly and clapped her hands together. “Sophie here’s going to play along,” she sing-songed, confirming what I suspected. This was all a game to them, one they enjoyed. Immensely.
Annie pulled her phone out of her purse and flicked her fingers over the screen while Maggie said, “It’s interesting, because I was with Declan one month ago.”
My heart plummeted to my feet and then kept on going, straight through the building to burrow in the earth below. When my breath hitched, Annie shoved her phone in my face triumphantly. “Declan’s always so cagey about pictures, so when he wasn’t paying attention, I took that first one.”
The picture in question showed Declan, Aidan, and Liam sitting around a table that was littered with beer bottles. They were surrounded by fans and other clingers-on, each with a woman perched on their laps. Declan’s arm was wrapped tightly around Maggie’s waist and her hand rested comfortably on the nape of his neck.
I felt my broken heart shatter as I took in the easy way he held her, how comfortable they looked together. How out in the open it all was. Swallowing around a giant lump in my throat, I croaked, “When was this?”
“Like she said,” Annie answered as she pulled her phone from my grip, “a month ago.”
My eyes found Maggie’s and they glimmered with smug victory.
“Specifically,” I said through clenched teeth, “when was this photo taken?”
Maggie scrunched up her nose and looked to the ceiling. “Let’s see. I think it was the week they beat Cardiff. We were all out celebrating their victory.
I was going to kill Declan. The Cardiff match was the one following the night he and I had holed up at The Georgian House Hotel. The night I told him I was afraid he was going to be with me and then turn around and fuck someone else while he promised that wouldn’t happen. The night he told me he wanted to be monogamous, for our relationship to be exclusive.
And I’d believed him.
Shit, damn, motherfucking cocksucker cheater!
“And this was two weeks later,” Annie added vindictively as she shoved the phone in my face again but I refused to look. “Come on, don’tcha want to see?” she asked, waving the device in front of my eyes. “It’s a really great one of Declan,” she chuckled as I fought back tears.
“Okay, fine. Since you won’t look at it, let me describe it to you. Declan has his tongue down—”
That was it. I’d had enough. I shoved her back and barreled past the evil bitch, slapping her phone out of her hand. As calmly as I could so as not to arouse suspicion, I tugged my jacket from under a pile of other coats in the foyer, shrugged it on, and snuck out the door, just barely managing to hold in my sob until I was safely in the elevator. When I flung the lobby door open and stepped outside, I was hit with a biting, frigid wind that stole my breath and practically froze the tears on my cheeks.
Checking that no one had followed me from upstairs, I stepped off to the side out of the lights and pulled my phone out of my purse. Tapping my fingers furiously over the keyboard, I ended things with Declan. I thought the text fitting since that was the medium where our relationship had first blossomed. Now I’d use it to kill it.
No, that wasn’t you who killed your relationship, my subconscious scolded. He did that all on his own.
Sophie: I trusted you and that was my mistake, but I’m done making mistakes where you’re concerned. We’re through.
Shoving the phone back into my purse, I looked around wildly, trying to figure out which way to go to get out of here since Aidan’s neighborhood wasn’t one I was familiar with. Remembering Declan and I had parked on a residential side street to the left, I stalked to the right, hoping to hit a major road where I could flag down a taxi. Twenty minutes later, I’d found the road but taxis remained elusive. Several had passed, but all had already been claimed by others.
While I wandered around in the dark, I ignored six phone calls from Declan, sending them straight to voicemail. I also disregarded his many text messages. Since apparently tonight I was being a masochist, I decided to read each one before deleting it.
Declan: Where are you?
Declan: Talk to me, what’s going on?
Declan: Sophie, please. WHERE ARE YOU?
Declan: I’m going to call the guards if you don’t tell me where the fuck you are. You’re scaring me.
Sophie: I’m fine. Stop contacting me. I told you, we’re over.
Declan: I don’t understand what’s going on. Everything was fine less than an hour ago.
Declan: Please talk to me. You owe me that much.
Sophie: Ask that cunt Maggie. She’ll be happy to fill you in.
In the normal course of things, cunt wasn’t a word I used often—being a feminist and all. But if the shoe fits, I thought sullenly as I powered down my phone so Declan couldn’t reach me. So I couldn’t cave and let him.
After awhile I let myself wonder what he might say to Maggie, how she’d laugh about it and Declan would scold her for opening her big mouth. She’d convince him it was all for the best and they’d leave the party together to go fuck somewhere while I wandered around Dublin cold, lost, and angry.
Well, they can have each other because I am done.
Done with Declan, and done standing out here waiting for a taxi that was never going to stop for me. I scoffed because yeah, that about summed up my life perfectly. Everything went on just the way it always did with no room for me to squeeze in.
Pulling up Google maps, I navigated my way to the closest train station and bought a ticket on the last DART of the night back to Ballycurra. I cried the whole way home.
Chapter Thirty-One
Declan: I’m begging you. Pick up your phone.
Declan: Claire told me what happened.
Declan: It’s not true, I swear to you. None of it.
Declan: Let me exp
lain.
Declan: I need to talk to you. Please baby?
Declan: Alright, you leave me no choice. I’m calling your grandparents.
Sophie: My grandparents are under strict orders not to speak with you.
Declan: SOPHIE!
Declan: You’re killing me here.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Sophie: Have you slept with Maggie?
Declan: Thank Christ!
Declan: I’m calling you. Pick up your goddamn phone.
Sophie: All I’m looking for is a simple yes or no. Have you slept with that bitch?
Declan: Pick up. Let me explain.
Sophie: I’ll take that as a yes.
Sophie: Goodbye Declan.
Declan: Sophie, no. Wait.
Declan: Yes, I slept with Maggie, but it was a long time ago.
Sophie: Not so long ago according to her.
Declan: It didn’t mean anything.
Sophie: None of them ever meant anything to you.
Declan: You’re the only woman I’ve ever cared about.
Declan: Sophie?
Declan: Sophie!
Chapter Thirty-Three
Declan
I sat in the dark, another dram of whiskey in my hand. I’d lost count of how many this was today, but since I was still coherent, I decided it obviously wasn’t enough. I wasn’t sure there was enough whiskey in the world to dull my pain.
Mutely, I spun my phone in my hands. I wanted to call her but I didn’t want to risk further rejection. Sophie had made her thoughts clear. She didn’t believe me; didn’t want to believe me. She was letting her mistrust guide her actions and I was paying for the sins of the men who’d come before me.
It wasn’t fair. Nothing about any of this was fair.
I opened my messages app, looking over the last set of texts I’d sent; the ones where I’d begged her to give me five minutes of her time, where I promised her I’d explain everything.
Anger burned hot in my throat. I wanted her to feel what I felt. To know what it was like when the person you loved turned their back on you. Told you goodbye. Broke your fucking heart.
Trying Sophie: A Dublin Rugby Romance Page 29