by Honor James
Putting his hand over hers he stroked his fingers lightly across her skin. “I’m still sorry, Harker. I don’t mean to cause you pain. I just don’t know what I’m doing here. I’m fine in the dreams, but here…” He shook his head as he stumbled to a halt. Sighing softly he squeezed her hand gently. “I’m a mess, Harker. I have been for so long but never really realized until you came into my life.” Shifting he lay down facing her, his head on the pillow close to hers. “I hate talking about myself. I think it’s left over from the years of hiding from everyone. I am also the middle child so I was more mediator than anything else so my feelings were always put on the back burner.” Looking to her he shrugged. “I don’t know if I can change that, love.”
“You don’t need to for everyone else, Miklos. I just want you to know that you can come to me about anything, everything. I am your mate and you should be able to share anything with me.” Her hand reached out and she stroked his lips. “I love you, Miklos. I am yours and I am here forever. Nothing you say is running me off.”
Smiling faintly he took a deep breath as he watched her and let it out slowly. “Yeah,” he murmured. Closing his eyes he let her touch him. “I just feel so tired, Harker. I just want to sleep and to hell with the world,” he said quietly, knowing that such an admission to another Wolf was as good as admitting that he was suicidal and looking for someone to take him out. Shifting a little closer he rested a hand on her hip as he enjoyed her touching him, her fingers moving over his face slowly.
“Then sleep, honey, sleep and know that I won’t let anyone hurt you. I will watch over and protect you, Miklos. Just rest and feel better, honey, and know that I will be here when you wake.” She was worried about him and she added, “Rest, Miklos. I need you in my life and if you need to rest for that, please do, darling.”
Letting her voice soothe him into sleep Miklos went under deep, his mind wiped right out. Releasing a soft sigh he moved in closer to her, naturally needing her heat and comfort. Sliding his arm around her waist he was careful, even in sleep, to keep from hurting her back.
Chapter 16
She brushed her hands over his cheek and watched him as he slept. She wanted to be able to join him but she wanted to be able to do as she had promised and that was watch over and protect him.
Sometime later, he wasn’t sure how much time had passed, he woke to find his cheek against Harker’s chest. Opening his eyes slowly he didn’t move. He was enjoying the feel of her fingers stroking through his hair too much to want to disturb her. But then he yawned and ruined his whole possum routine. Shifting carefully he lifted his head and looked around. “How long was I out?” he asked her as he turned his face back to face her.
She looked at the clock. “Two hours, give or take fifteen minutes.” She continued to look at him and smiled. “Do you need more? I’m perfectly content to sit here and watch over you, because it means I get to touch you without reserve and fantasize about the things I want to feel from you, do with you.”
Shaking his head slowly he put his head back down on the pillow. “I’m good I think,” he told her softly. “But I’m not opposed to you still touching me as you want. I’ll just lay here and enjoy it instead of sleeping through it,” he said with a yawn. “If I do fall asleep again wake me in a couple hours please,” he murmured, moving in closer to her.
“I will, honey,” she promised as she ran her fingers through his hair and toyed with the dark locks, simply content to be there holding him close to her as she played with his hair or massaged his body with her fingertips very lightly. She was just happy to be with him, period.
Rubbing his cheek over her shoulder gently he yawned again. “Do you want your back bandaged first?” he asked her quietly, knowing if he fell asleep again he’d be out like a light. He didn’t understand why he was so exhausted but he’d deal with it later if she wanted her back covered up.
“Nope, it’s good, Miklos. Don’t worry about me, love, just you. I need you to worry about you and no one else. Sleep and rest, I’m fine, my back is fine, and here I will be when you wake, I promise.” She was worried about him. He looked so depressed that she actually, actually had considered that he was suicidal, and that scared her.
“As long as you’re sure, love,” he murmured, moving his hand down her leg to touch skin and relaxing when he found some just above her knee. “I don’t like seeing you hurting. It worries me,” he told her in his half-asleep state.
“And that goes double for you, Mik. Go to sleep, love. I am fine, I promise.” She had dealt with pain before. It was only a thing and she would be able to force it down and move on, but only if she was sure that he was safe, happy, and all right.
“I’m fine,” he told her, rubbing his cheek against her shoulder again as though trying to get closer. “You’re my mate, I’m allowed to worry for you, sweetheart.” But he had to admit it was nice she was worried about him as well. He didn’t like that she was worried, but he appreciated the fact it was him she was worrying about. “I love you, Harker,” he whispered right before he lost the battle to stay awake.
“I love you, too, Miklos,” she gave even though she knew he was alseep.
Leaning back against the pillows she winced only once as she got comfortable and simply watched him sleeping, hoping that the rest would help him find the calming center he needed, help him to find that he was worth loving, very much so.
Miklos didn’t have quite as peaceful of rest as he did the first time. This time he dreamed of Harker, but it was a replay of the building incident. Only this time it was after he’d found her and knew she was to be his mate but before he could claim her. And she was dead, her blood coating his hands as her eyes stared up at him accusingly and angry. Jolting awake he sat up and pressed a hand to his head as the image was literally burned into his mind.
“Hey,” Harker said as she shifted on the bed, her hands coming to rest on the ones on his head. “Miklos, hey, I’m fine, love, you are fine. We are both here, honey.” She touched his cheeks. “Look at me, Mik, see, I’m here,” she said softly.
Looking to her he stared for a long time before he actually believed what he saw and then he pulled her into him tight, not thinking about her back. “Oh god,” he whispered, holding her to him as he buried his face in her neck. “It was the warehouse, but…oh god,” he said again, feeling his whole body shudder in memory.
She wrapped herself into his arms as well and shook her head. “Shh, see, I’m fine, honey.” She noted that even though he was upset and not thinking, he still didn’t grab or hurt her back like he so easily could have. His hands moved lower on her back, protecting her even as he hugged her.
He heard her words, felt her body against his and her arms around him, but the dream was still too strong in his mind. “God, Harker,” he breathed out after a long time, leaning back slightly and cupping her face. “It was the warehouse, only this time you didn’t make it,” he whispered. “You were in my arms, your blood all over me and I couldn’t do anything to protect you.” He shuddered again. Kissing her fiercely he moaned into her mouth as he moved one arm to wrap around her and hold her close as he plundered her mouth.
She couldn’t have stopped him if she wanted. She opened to him. Her mouth open she kissed him with everything inside of her that was demanding to be let out. She kissed him with the need and passion that had been building for a while and wanted more.
Gently he pulled her into his lap, holding her over him as he kissed her. Sliding his fingers into her hair he stopped and slid them back out, not wanting to make her think of other times, just the here and now. Slipping his tongue into her mouth he stroked it over hers, growling at her taste, his arm under her bottom tightening slightly and pulling her closer.
She rubbed her body against his and whimpered, “Miklos, please.” She needed him. She needed to be with him, now. There was nothing between them and nothing could have stopped her from simply impaling herself on him, but she needed him to be there with her, needed him
to want it as badly as she did.
Staring into her eyes he tugged at her towel, pulling it aside so he could see her. They’d have to be careful, but as long as she was on top it would be fine. It wouldn’t be the mating but it might ease some of the tension riding them both so painfully. Sliding a hand down her front he let his fingers brush slowly over her breasts and then lower to her belly. Continuing down he turned his hand and pressed his fingers against her clit. “What do you want, Harker?” he asked softly as he stroked her pussy, letting her wetness coat his fingers.
“I need to be yours, Miklos.” God help her she had promised him until she was better, but she couldn’t, needed him now and he needed her, too. They both needed this but he had to accept that. “But only if you need me and want me, too. Only if you’re ready for me.” She was trying to pull back, give him room to breathe and choose.
“I want you,” he told her. “So much so that I don’t care anymore. I need you, Harker. I need to be with you, part of you, in you. I need to feel you wrapped around me, accepting me for who I am, I need all of you,” he said honestly, staring into her eyes. “I’m more than ready and if I don’t have you soon I may explode.”
“I’m yours, Miklos, you just have to claim me.” In more than just the act. She needed him to fully claim her, everything. “Don’t hold back, believe in yourself and in me, Miklos. Know that you won’t hurt me but please”—she moved over him—“I want everything.” She begged slightly, afraid of a tomorrow without being claimed by him.
Holding her still he shook his head. “To do that you have to be submissive, Harker, that means I’d be behind you,” he whispered. “You’d be on your hands and knees, shoulders down and completely, totally letting me dominate you, love.” Pressing his forehead to hers he sucked in a breath. “That’s why I said we’d have to wait,” he whispered, hating that he’d have to stop this because she was still too injured to go through it all the way.
“That would be better, Miklos,” she said when she thought about it. “My back wouldn’t chance hitting the mattress or wall, wouldn’t you think that it would be better than now?” Because she sure didn’t want to stop. God she needed him in a way that didn’t make sense. It was as if something inside of her was driving her hard, demanding she do this before it was too late for her.
Snapping his eyes open he stared at her. “Harker,” he whispered, capturing her face in his hands and staring at her. “Are you sure?” he asked. “It’s not going to be comfortable for you, baby,” he said, wondering what kind of fool tried to talk his mate out of mating with him.
“I don’t care, Miklos, all I need is you. I love you and something is telling me that we both need this. I refuse to not listen to my gut on this. But I will take you any way that I can get you.”
Nodding slowly he kissed her. “Then we’ll do this right,” he told her and shut out his conscience that was freaking out at him. “On your hands and knees, love,” he whispered to her, his body already shaking with the need to claim her. He’d be careful, he’d be gentle, and he’d ensure that she was marked as his and mated to him, and then he’d make sure she healed.
She nodded and leaned up, kissing him again. “We will do this right.” He needed it. She realized that in that moment. It wasn’t for her so much as for him. He had to have this anchor and she knew it. “I love you, Miklos.” With that she turned. Up on her knees before him and her shoulders to the mattress she realized how good it felt to be like that in front of him. She loved it really and wouldn’t change what they were doing.
Growling low in his chest he sat up on his knees, his eyes on her back, and wondered if he was going to have enough control not to hurt her through this. Lifting up he moved closer and gently ran a hand down her spine to caress her buttocks before slipping between her legs to stroke her pussy. Finding her wet, so wet that she coated his fingers immediately, had him rock hard with need and another, more feral sound rumbling past his lips as he leaned in and inhaled her hot and erotic scent while rubbing his cheek against the base of her spine.
Whimpering, she looked over her shoulder when he rubbed his cheek to her back. “You’re killing me here, Miklos,” she said with a smile that said she didn’t mind. Her ass rubbing to his cock though said she was wanting much more. She was arching her back, presenting her ass to him in silent demand.
Smiling faintly at her instinctual demands Miklos pressed a kiss to the small of her back before he shifted his weight to blanket her. Planting a hand by her head he made sure he had his body far enough from hers that he didn’t scrape against her healing wound. Taking his cock in hand, he rubbed the head of his cock over her wet pussy, coating himself and driving them both insane and then, carefully, began to push his way inside.
She moved slightly, moving her legs a little wider to give him room to take him deeper. As he moved inside of her, his body stretching hers to new limits, she pressed back against him. Head down and shoulders to the mattress she moved in a way to take more of his cock in.
Sliding in her pussy was like a hot, wet, tight glove allowing just enough give to slide in. His eyes were nearly crossed by the time he was all the way into her pussy and his limbs were definitely wracked by the barely restrained need to just take what was his. Pressing his forehead to her shoulder he took a couple of steadying breaths. He wouldn’t hurt her, he couldn’t hurt her, but god did he need her. Lifting his head slowly he made sure her hair was out of the way so that for one he could watch her face and for the second reason, he needed her shoulder bare so as to mark her. And he was going to. He was going to mark her in a visible location but one she could cover easily if she chose.
“Please,” was the whispered sob that was torn from her throat as she moved back against him again. It felt perfect. To have his cock this deep inside of her vagina was perfection and truly she was in heaven. She turned her head to the side when he pulled her hair away from her face and smiled. “Do it.” God her womb clenched when she thought about him marking her, biting her, and it was something she wanted as much as she needed him to move.
“Soon,” he whispered against her neck, carefully keeping his back arched so his chest didn’t rub her wound. “Soon, Harker,” he promised again as he slid almost completely free of her pussy and then plunged back into her again. Moaning at the feeling of her clenching around him he continued to move and found a steady if slightly hard rhythm.
Her body found its matching rhythm and danced with his. She kept her shoulders down in the perfect position, her back arched just right, baring her shoulder to him. “Please,” she begged softly. “So close,” she moaned.
Reaching around her Miklos slid his fingers between her swollen labia to find the tight bud of her clit. Gently he rubbed at it as he scraped his teeth over her shoulder once, twice and then, “You are mine now and forever,” Janos told her softly. “I am yours for all of time. Mated through fate, through actions all our own, and through mutual love we are joined together for all our lives.” Licking slowly at the flesh where he would bite her, marking her as his for all time, he took a breath and finished it. “No one will ever tear us asunder, for we are meant to be.” And he sank his teeth into her flesh. Breaking through the upper layers he pressed just hard enough to mark her for many years to come as he continued to rock into her body, his hips moving at a faster pace at the hint of blood in his mouth. Growling deep in his chest he pushed his cock into her harder, more demanding with each thrust until he came, suddenly and explosively, his cock pulsing as he spilled his seed and swelled inside of her.
She slammed back on him again and again as her hands clenched the sheet tightly until she was moaning uncontrollably and then screamed as she fell apart in his arms.
His vision went black around the edges but somehow he managed to keep from collapsing over her and carefully turned them onto their sides. Pulling his teeth from her shoulder he licked at her shoulder a couple of times before wrapping her safely in his arms. Holding her to him as he continued to fill her
he left some space between them so he could look at her back. Stroking his fingers down the red skin, he frowned. It was better than yesterday, but still looked painful.
Her eyes were closed as she tried desperately to get her feeling back in her extremities but instead all she could feel were the butterfly kisses of his fingers on her back and his seed pumping into her hot, hard, and fast. “Gods, I didn’t know you would lock inside of me.” And she wanted to do it all over again. It felt amazing to feel the swelling at the base of his cock locking him deep inside, the head against her womb, so good.
He flinched at her words, she could feel it against her shoulder. “Don’t worry, as soon as I’m finished I’ll pull free,” he told her quietly. “I should have told you but I honestly wasn’t thinking,” he said, pressing his forehead to her shoulder.
She grinned and rubbed her hand over his hand. “Don’t you dare pull right out of me, Miklos,” she uttered with the same growl he used. “I like it, I like it a lot and it makes me want to do this all over again just so that I can feel you locking inside of me and spilling deep inside of me as well.”
Jerking slightly Miklos lifted up on his elbow and stared down at her. “Harker?” Her name was a question on his lips. He didn’t know what to say, how to ask his question. How the hell could she like it when no other woman he’d ever had did?
“I like it, Miklos.” She soothed him as she touched his arm, too awkward with her back to reach out and touch his cheek. “It feels…” How could she explain it? “It feels really very good, Miklos. It feels like I was made for you. And when you are…” She shivered. “The feel of you coming inside of me is beyond description.”
Stunned, he just looked at her for a long moment before he leaned closer and kissed her shoulder. He didn’t have the words to thank her for what she’d said, for the relief she’d given him so easily. Brushing his lips back and forth over her skin, he lay down again and gently hugged her. “I love you, Harker,” he whispered, his voice choked.