by Martha Woods
Vincent lacks in the humor department. There are things that amuse him, for sure, but my dumb jokes are not among them. Story of a nerdy girl’s life, I guess.
“I did think of your body, as well,” Vincent says, moving closer, his lips very near the sensitive skin of my neck.
Feeling suddenly dizzy, I look around and realize we’ve somehow moved off of the lit street and into a darkened alleyway. How the hell did that happen? Vincent steps close to me, his arms on either side of my head, braced against the brick I’ve run into.
“Amy,” he says quietly, his lips now touching my ear.
A shiver of lust runs down my spine to pool in my core. I thought maybe this attraction would have faded, but it has not.
“Vincent,” I respond, a little breathlessly. “I can’t…this isn’t…I’m with Damon.”
His lips are on mine in an instant, quieting my protests. It’s a searing kiss, hard and hot. No other parts of our bodies touch but they might as well. I could probably have an orgasm just like this.
When he breaks the kiss, he steps back, pushing his hands through his hair. I know that stopping is probably not easy for him. For vampires, sex is a mixture of claiming and war and sensuality. It is not an act of love, and it involves the exchanging of blood. Once the act begins, it is very hard to stop the bloodlust.
I try to peek into his mind, to feel what he is feeling in this odd moment, but he shuts me down.
“I am sorry,” he says. “I should not have done that. But please do not look into my thoughts at this time.”
I feel a little disoriented. I shake my head to clear the lust-fog that kissing Vincent has created. “You’re right. I should not have entered your mind like that,” I say. “But I haven’t felt connected to you at all since…”
“I have purposely worked to stay disconnected from you mentally,” he says. “I truly wanted to give you back to him. It is safer for you that way.”
Oh great, another man thinking he knows what’s best for little-ole Amy, tiny little helpless female.
I narrow my eyes at the vampire. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I hate having other people decide what’s best for me without consulting me on the matter. I am an adult, you know that right?”
Vincent’s mouth quirks. It’s not a smile, but he does seem amused by my outburst. Oh, now he thinks I’m funny.
“Vincent,” I say, “I am going to go find a piece of wood right now and put it in your heart if you don’t stop smirking at me. And if you kiss me again, I’ll…”
“You will like it,” he says simply, putting his hands in his pockets.
I sigh. “Vincent, I’m glad to see you. I truly am. But what is it you need?”
“Okay, yes” he says. “There is a reason I came to find you, aside from kissing you.”
“Oh, well, thank goodness for that,” I say dryly.
“The coven is concerned about the growth of a dark power in the area recently,” he says, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hip, motorcycle jacket.
“The coven?” I ask. “Oh, you mean Joseph, Mika, and Ivanka?”
He nods once, sharply. “They like you quite a lot. They wanted me to make another offer for you to join them, learn from them. They were in fact a very powerful coven of witches in another life”
I take a deep breath and look around. “They did offer that, to help me learn. They promised not to harm me.”
“I believe they would keep that promise,” he says. “But you do realize, Amy, that while they are not like most vampires in many ways, they are still vampires. They would find a way to help you hone your power, but it would not come without a cost.”
“Yes, I understand,” I say.
“Do you truly?” he asks. “What Olivia did was manipulate you by threatening people she knew were meaningful to you. She used your relationships to get access to your unique power. Imagine how you could be manipulated by vampires you have come to trust.”
“You think they would use me only for my powers,” I say. “But they were witches before they were vampires. They understand what it is to have this kind of power.”
“Regardless of who they were before immortality,” Vincent says, “They are vampires now. And few things move us like power. It is very valuable to be able to feel the feelings and intentions of those who might want to do us harm. And I think we all believe you have only begun to understand the extent of what you can do, and why. You do not want the wrong people to know, once you figure it out.”
“Vincent,” I say, “would you use me like that?”
“I do not think you should trust us. Your hunter friend is right about that, at least.”
My heart sinks a little. I do believe that some vampires can be okay, almost human. Maybe I am more naïve than I think.
“Do not approach the coven without me,” Vincent says. “Can you at least promise me that?”
“Yes. I can promise that,” I say. “I do know what they’re concerned about, though. I felt it too. I think I have it pinpointed to a strip club not far from here. Three women murdered by loved ones, but none of the suspects remember anything about the murders. They all worked at the same club and when I went there, the dark magic inside was nearly suffocating.”
“I felt it, Amy,” he says. “It was fuzzy but you were more intoxicated by it than suffocated.”
“Semantics,” I say. “I didn’t like it and I think it’s linked to these murders. And you said you weren’t linked to me these past few days.”
“We are always connected. Sometimes we can make it quieter, though. I will ask the others to keep an eye out,” he says. “And I will tell them that you may need to speak with them.”
“Thank you,” I say. “I need to go.”
“Would you like a ride?” he asks.
“No,” I say. “No thank you. I actually drove to Cara’s. I’ll run back to my car and drive myself home.”
“I enjoy watching you run, Amy,” he says.
“That sounded creepy,” I answer, walking away. “But thank you. I think.”
“And thank you…for saving me from certain death,” he says.
When I turn back, he is gone.
* * *
When I return home, Damon is sitting in the living room with baseball on the television. I silently plod in and sit next to him on the couch.
“I never knew you were a baseball fan,” I say as I slip out of my shoes.
“It’s mindless,” he says. “I needed something to keep me occupied to keep myself from coming to look for you. Though I was a kid once, and I
did play baseball.”
“Well, I appreciate the effort,” I say.
“It was not easy,” he admits.
“You played baseball?” I ask, changing the subject, trying to lighten the heavy mood.
“A little,” he says. “And football. I was lucky to have had more of a childhood than some Hunters I know.”
I sit for a moment, thinking about Damon as a child, trying to imagine him that way and failing miserably. After a while, I stand back up and stretch, announcing, “I’m going to take a bath.”
It’s not until the hot water and luxurious bubbles surround me and I’ve been soaking for a while that Damon comes into the bathroom. He leans against the bathroom door, bulky arms folded across his broad chest.
“Did you have a good visit with Cara?” he asks.
“No, not really,” I answer.
“That sucks,” he says. “Anything specific? Did you argue?”
“No, we didn’t argue,” I answer. “But she knows there are things I can’t tell her and she feels I’m hiding something from her on purpose. Cara was always great at telling when I was lying. She now feels the damage to our friendship is irreparable, that we’re different people than we were before all of this. I disagree, but I know it will just take time to repair our relationship.”
“I’m sorry,” he says. “For what it’s worth, I do understand how it feels to have to lie to those cl
osest to you.”
I consider this for a moment. “Ah, Tristian and the other hunters.”
He nods. “They’re like brothers to me and they cannot understand why I would leave for you.”
“They’ve never been in love?” I ask.
He scoffs. “No. They view women as means to an end. The hunt is their first priority always. Sex is just a release.”
“Oh,” I say. “Why do you feel differently?”
“About sex?” he asks. “I didn’t, not really. Not until I met you. When I met you in that alley, I felt connected to you somehow. Like we were meant to know each other,” he says.
“I felt very safe with you immediately,” I admit.
“I never meant to fall in love with you, Amy” he says. “But I did. And that means that I feel protective of you. I want you in my life, and keeping you safe will allow that to happen. But maybe we moved too quickly.”
“It was fast,” I agree. “Maybe too much, too fast?”
“Maybe. But it doesn’t change how I feel,” he answers. “I do love you and I won’t apologize for it. Or for wanting to keep you safe.”
“And I won’t apologize for wanting to do the same for all of the people I care about,” I say.
“Including Vincent.” It’s not a question.
“Including Vincent,” I repeat. “I saw him this evening, by the way. I feel I should be honest.”
“Great,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Let me guess, he was lurking like a creep in some alley.”
“Close,” I say. “He wanted to ask if I’d come across anything weird, dark magic, or stronger power brewing.”
“I’ll bet,” he says. “He probably reached into your mind and plucked out some excuse to come see you.”
“So what if he did?” I ask.
“Amy, I left my hunter brotherhood for you,” he says.
“You mentioned that earlier,” I say, probably too sharply. “Go back if you want. I won’t stop you.”
I know I should not have said that. It was unkind, but it is unfair of him to keep lording this over my head. He made a choice – I did not ask him to do it.
He huffs. “I want this to work. I want to be with you but I can’t if you won’t move forward with me. That means leaving the past in the past.”
“I…” I start. I get up, water splashing out of the tub. As I wrap myself in a towel, I say, “I can’t, Damon. I do care about Vincent. I’m confused about it. About all of this.”
His mouth hangs open for a moment before he snaps it shut, grinding his teeth.
“I won’t stay here and wait forever,” he says. “For a little while, I will, because I think you are worth it. But not forever.”
He turns and wanders out of the room. When I make my way to bed, the soft light of the television remains in the living room. He watches the baseball game with the sound off.
I think about sitting down next to him, about crawling on top of him, riding him in the soft light of the television. I think about using my body to show him that no matter what else is happening, I do feel this with him. My body wants him. My heart as well, even as confused and twisted as it is. Damon and I are intertwined, now. He is a part of my life and I cannot imagine him not in it.
I don’t reach out, though. I don’t speak or touch him. I just turn and head into the bedroom, tossing and turning because I am confused and angry and frustrated.
It takes a very long time to fall asleep and when I finally do, Damon still has not joined me in the bed.
Chapter 6
When my alarm goes off, I hit the snooze button, but shift to push myself out of bed anyway. If I am going to get back on Rick’s good side, being late will not help.
I’m stopped by a big arm, which pulls me back, Damon spooning me from behind. His erection presses at my backside.
“I’m still mad at you,” he says after a long yawn. “But I love you.”
His hand explores my stomach and my breasts and my body responds in kind, my nipples hardening and heat pooling between my legs.
“I know what you’re giving up,” I say. “I know you just want us to have a normal life together, but what if that’s not possible? The door to the supernatural is open now. Perhaps we just need to figure out how to live the best lives we can despite it.”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” he says. “I don’t want to fight right now.”
Damon dips his fingers underneath my panties, his fingers exploring my folds, strumming my clit. I let out a breathless sound of desire and he takes this as a green light, pushing those deft fingers inside of me.
“I’ll fight for you,” he says into my ear as his hand works between my legs, building a rhythm that will very easily carry me over a cliff face and into oblivion. “I’ll kill every vampire in town if I have to.”
I reach back and grab him as he pushes aside my underwear so he can enter me. When he pushes inside, I cry out. We move together, him at my back, his hands on my breasts. The sex is a little violent, but I like it. Even though I don’t want to be controlled, there is a part of me that responds to his threat. I feel the same way about him. I would fight and die to keep him safe. Perhaps this is why we are meant to be together.
“You can fight for me,” I say. “Like I’ll fight for you. But not if it means controlling me.”
Damon rolls over, pulling me onto him. Looking down on him, I move, meeting his gaze, realizing he’s giving me a moment of power. I push his arms over his head, holding his wrists with my hands. My breasts graze his chest, my nipples hard and sensitive against his skin. I move on top of him, at first slowly, but as I pick up pace, I feel the tingle of orgasm brewing. I push faster and faster, still holding Damon’s arms. He kisses me fiercely.
“I love you, Amy,” he says. “You’re strong and smart and fearless and beautiful. I saw it all the first time we met. I love all of you, but I can’t lose you. Not to one of them.”
Them. Vampires.
I feel tears prick at my eyes, my throat closing up as I try not to cry. I don’t want to feel the way I feel about Vincent. It would be easier if I could forget him, if I could just love Damon the way he deserves to be loved. He deserves so much better than this, especially if he will really give up being a Hunter for it. That is a sacrifice of true love, and can it be that for me, if I also love someone else?
When I hit the peak, he follows closely. I release his arms and he pulls me close, kissing me deeply. We don’t say anymore; we’ve said all we need to for now. And for now, we are here and focused only on each other.
As I get ready for work after, Damon says, “I don’t know if I can share you, Amy.”
I look at him, wide-eyed, as I brush my teeth. After I rinse, I say, “I don’t think I mentioned sharing as an option.”
“But you’d have us both if you could, would you not?”
I’m not sure how to answer that. I open my mouth several times before I finally speak. “I’ve never felt like humans were really designed to be monogamous, to have lifelong, single relationships for their whole adult lives. Just scientifically, we change. Our personalities evolve; our bodies evolve. We become different people and it’s hard to imagine that we could find one person who would change at our pace, continue to be what we need.”
“That seems pretty cynical, Amy,” he says. “And it didn’t answer the question.”
I shrug. “I guess. But I wouldn’t say that having you both is my goal. I love you and I love being with you. You do make me feel safe. I’m glad you’re in my life. And, frankly, I can’t imagine that there is any way to have a healthy relationship with a person who isn’t even alive.”
“Will you let him go?” he asks.
“Eventually, I’m sure. I can’t help that I have feelings for him and I can’t guarantee if or when those feelings will go away. But I can promise that I’ll always be honest with you,” I answer.
Damon nods. “That’s good enough for now, I suppose.”
He reach
es out and pulls me to him. As I snuggle into his big body, I say, “Thank you, Damon. You’re a good man.”
He inhales and exhales deeply. “Is there anything I can do to help you with this new case?”
“The one I’m not supposed to be working on?” I ask with a wink as I pull away. “I don’t know. Let me see what else comes up and I’ll let you know.”
He drives me to work again, not because I’m late but because he says he can’t stand sitting around the house waiting for the phone to ring. He hasn’t heard anything about his interview and plans to put in some new applications through the day. I tell him for at least the fourteenth time that he should just go ahead and go back to his role as a Hunter. I do not wish for him to give up what he was born to do. He insists that this choice will make both of our lives safer.
As I get out of the car, I say, “Hey, if you’ve got the time, can you research this woman Alexis Alexander?” I hand him her business card. “She’s the manager at Centerfold, where those girls all worked and I think she’s a witch.”
“Sure thing, boss,” he jokes. I lean in for a peck and then head off to start my day.
* * *
Vivienne greets me as I walk into the building. “Oh, hello, Amy,” she says brightly. “Nice to see you this morning. We were worried when you didn’t make it back yesterday afternoon.”
I give her a tentative, confused smile. What’s she getting at?
“I mean, some of the guys said you were being really weird yesterday,” she babbles. “Dropping things, hearing voices. They thought maybe you were having a breakdown or something.”
Some of the guys? I mean, Rick was one of the only people I spoke to yesterday, at least about anything out-of-the-norm. And Taquan Silver, I guess, but that was only a brief interaction.
“Who said that?” I ask.
“Oh, I can’t say,” she says. “But you’re okay?”
“I’m fine,” I snap. “I went to get samples from a suspect. Something he said peaked my interest so I followed up. Just doing my job, which is what everyone else around here needs to do instead of getting in my business.”