“Should we go in,” I asked Gretel.
“I don’t think we have much of a choice. If all else fails, I can summon the hot air balloon and it can take us somewhere else.”
“Really, you can just get the hot air balloon to come whenever you want to?”
“It’s just as easy as thinking about it coming and then there it is, floating along in the sky.”
“That’s amazing.”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think it into existence.”
“Well, maybe we can go in and find some towels to stop the bleeding at least.”
“Or maybe there’s a magical bear trap remover.”
“Or maybe this is the house of the person who set the bear traps and they’re just waiting for us to stagger there for help?”
“Maybe.”
“I hope not.”
“Me too.”
I approached the cottage and reached out a weary hand to knock on the door.
Chapter Twenty-four
The Cottage
I knocked on the door and we stood together there on the gnarled stoop, waiting.
No one answered.
I knocked again.
I waited for the door to swing open. If this happened, I think I would have been somewhat disappointed to see anything other than a wrinkled old witch standing there.
But it didn’t happen. No one was home.
I turned my head and whispered to Gretel, “Maybe we should just go in. Maybe they have a phone or something.”
“Sounds like an okay idea.”
I twisted the doorknob, expecting it to be locked. It wasn’t. Anyone who lived this far out in the woods probably didn’t feel any great need to keep their doors locked.
The cottage was very dark on the inside. It had windows but they were very small and the trees eliminated all but the most atmospheric of lighting. The cottage consisted mainly of a large living room that looked like it also served as the dining room. There didn’t seem to be any modern amenities in the cottage. I found a large couch and placed Gretel on it. The bear traps were getting quite heavy on my feet. I continued to wander around the small cottage, looking for a phone. It didn’t take me long to realize they didn’t have one. I didn’t even see an electrical outlet and I didn’t recall seeing any telephone or utility poles outside.
“I don’t see a phone. What are we supposed to do? Couldn’t you imagine a bear trap remover?”
“I don’t know what we’re supposed to do. I’m sure I could imagine something to remove them with but maybe they’re here for a reason. Maybe you should just come over here and sit down. Those bear traps have to be hurting your legs.”
“Yeah, they are. But I don’t think we can just stay here.”
“I think I could stay here forever.”
“What about blood loss? We have to be losing a tremendous amount of blood.”
“We’ve done all we can do. Come and sit down.”
I went over to the couch and sat down.
It wasn’t long before I forgot all about the bear traps. We engaged in lazy conversation. We sat on the couch, our heads resting together, and talked about what we had seen and all the things we wanted to see.
Eventually, someone came home. I was a bit alarmed and put off by the rattling of the front door. At first, I actually thought someone was invading our privacy until I remembered it wasn’t our house and it was most likely the owner returning home from work or whatever. Then I wondered exactly what a person living in a place like this actually did. I imagined they would be like a lumberjack or something. That is, if they weren’t a practicing witch or warlock.
I was amazed to see Dr. Blast enter the cottage wearing a giant brown fur coat, brown fur boots, and nothing else. And there was somebody else I was equally surprised to see.
“Grandma!” Gretel cried. “How could you have burned down the house?”
Gretel’s grandmother wore a pair of leather chaps and was otherwise naked save for two smiley face stickers over her nipples. She was very thin and wrinkly.
“Oh, I’m so sorry about that, dear,” she said. “I was very confused. Thankfully, I’ve found help.”
“But it was just this morning,” Gretel said.
“Well, maybe, strictly speaking, it was this morning. But, really, it was the culmination of a lifetime. See, I have wrestled with the demons in my head all my life and didn’t think I would ever find a way to exorcise them. Luckily, I found Dr. Blast in a cardboard box as I was leaving Grayson. Now, not only have I found the answer to all of my mental health concerns, I think I have found the love of my lifetime. I understand much more now, that’s for sure.”
“Is this true, Dr. Blast?” I asked.
“I think you know it is.”
“Then I’m confused.”
“Why are you confused?”
“Why are you here?”
“Oh, yes, I was going to tell you about that…”
“Do you live here?”
“No, don’t be preposterous. A witch lives here, of course. A very mean, evil witch. I think she eats kids or something but, don’t worry, she’s away. Where was I? Oh, yes, I have come to find out if you have found happiness.”
“Yes, I have found unmatched happiness. The only things that now make me unhappy are these bear traps I have on my ankles.”
“Yeah, sorry, there’s not really anything I can do about those. But, other than that, you’re good?”
“I’m good.”
“Great. And what about the cute little lady there? Do you need any therapy?”
“No, I think I’m good.”
“Well then, Hansel, I think I’ve done just about all I can for you. I just wanted to give you the bill for your therapy.”
“My mother’s paying for it.”
“Ah, then I might actually get it,” he said. “Well, you kids be happy. Take care. We’re going on a vacation. As you can see, you only have one more stumbling block. I will let you figure that out all by yourself.”
“Okay.”
Gretel said to her grandmother, “Bye Grandma.”
“Oh, I’ll be back, dear. And we’ll build a new house. I promise. A better house. In the new part of town.”
“I don’t think that’ll be necessary. I’m going to get out on my own.”
“Well, I admire your determination. Life is going to be hard with those bear traps on your ankles but, if anybody can do it, you can. I’ll see you later.”
They left with Dr. Blast pulling Gretel’s grandmother in some kind of cart waiting outside the door.
Gretel and I continued to sit on the couch, our heads together.
“Something is going to change soon,” she said. “More than it has ever changed for me in the past.”
“Is it a good change or a bad change?”
“It’s a good change,” she said. “The best change there has ever been, I think.”
Chapter Twenty-five
The Day is Saved
After a while we passed out due to all the blood loss. The walls went all swimmy and then there was nothing except for Gretel’s constant and deep breathing and that, in its own way, seemed to be enough.
Later, I awoke to a loud clamor.
I had trouble focusing and was very confused. It sounded like someone had knocked over a stack of metal pots and pans.
I heard a voice say, “No, not that way, idiot!” The voice was whispered but it was still harsh. And vaguely familiar.
“Wake up!” the voice said.
I tried to wake up, I think I was awake, but my eyes didn’t want to focus.
I muttered something, glanced over at Gretel to see if she was conscious. She was, staring forward with open-mouthed dismay. I was able to focus again and turned to look at what she saw.
Standing before us were The Commander and The Fixer.
Dad looked much as I remembered him; balding, with what hair he had a gleaming white. He had put on a little weight and was dressed in his superhero co
stume, consisting of black goggles and a skintight camouflage body suit with an obscene red codpiece. I didn’t know why it was a prerequisite that all superheroes wear skintight clothing. I found the whole get-up disturbing. Next to him stood Zasper, dressed very much like Zorro, except his outfit was also skintight.
“We’re here to save you,” Dad said.
“Thanks,” I said.
“But you can’t tell anyone. We can’t be accused of elitism or nepotism or whatever. Someone might be dying right now simply because we have chosen to save you.”
“I understand. Oh, Gretel, this is my father and my brother, Zasper.”
My father shushed me. “No, no, honey, we are The Commander and The Fixer.”
“Okay,” she mumbled.
My father bent down to her ankles and pried the bear traps off with ease and then did the same to me. Once the bear traps came off, it was obvious how violently mangled our legs actually were. But this was not a problem. Zasper, The Fixer, bent down and moved his hands over Gretel’s legs. The blood withdrew back into her body. Even the blood that had run onto the floor quickly snaked back into the skin. And then the rips and tears in the flesh drew together and both of her ankles looked as good as new.
“Wow, that’s pretty good,” I said. “I’m glad you discovered your talent.”
“It’s been a big help to The Commander.”
“I knew it would be.”
Then he did the same thing to my ankles.
“Well,” Father said. “You guys are free to go anywhere you want to now. I would leave soon though. This place gets kind of strange after dark.”
“Yes, we will.”
“I hope you have a good life, Hansel,” Father said. “It was nice to see you again.”
“It was nice to see you too. I can’t believe you actually became a superhero.”
He shook his head slowly. “Me either,” he said. “I guess it was a calling.”
“I guess so.”
I stood up to test my new ankles and give him a hug.
Gretel and I walked The Commander and The Fixer to the door where they got on giant black horses that flew into the sunset.
They left a pony behind. I assumed this was for us. It was probably something The Commander neglected to tell us about. His memory was never very good. Well, he had said we could go anywhere and I had something I wanted to show Gretel.
“Shall we go?” I asked.
“Anywhere you want,” she said, and smiled. I bent down to kiss her, pulling her close to me, happy to be rid of the bear traps.
We hopped on the pony and started to ride.
The Commander was right. The woods were strange after dark.
Chapter Twenty-six
A Good Fire
So we sat on ponyback, the two of us. I was in front, grabbing the pony by the mane, careful not to tug too hard on it. Gretel was behind me, her body pressed against mine. I heard her breathing as the pony trotted along. I enjoyed all of it, even the bizarre strangeness of the woods after dark.
Because, even though it was after dark, it didn’t really feel that way. The sky swirled with all kinds of colors—orange and purple and black and white and red. It was snowing but the leaves were still on the trees and it didn’t feel that cold. I had forgotten to ask where the woods were located. I didn’t know if we were close to Grayson or if we were headed back into Grayson or, really, where the hell Grayson was.
I decided the best thing to do would be to let the horse run freely, going wherever it pleased. I was not at all disappointed at the speed with which the pony chose to travel. It raged along, going faster and faster, faster than any car I had ever been in. There was something terrifying and exhilarating about it.
Gretel gripped tighter, something I didn’t mind at all, as the pony sped up, darting this way and that to avoid some mammoth tree, forging a path that was all its own. I knew it would take us to a safe place. I knew it would take us exactly where we wanted to be.
Within minutes we were out of the woods but things were not any less strange.
We were at the edge of Grayson.
The rain had returned, pouring down much like it was the first night I saw Gretel. And it was chilly.
The pony vanished. Our clothes vanished. And we ran along in the night. Just like before, except this time, Gretel followed me.
I felt the asphalt under my feet as I sped along the road and I didn’t think it felt at all the way asphalt was supposed to feel.
Things disintegrated around us as we ran along. They were not disintegrating so much as they were melting. It was like watching everything I had known about Grayson, all the landmarks and buildings I was familiar with, being reduced to nothing. I knew it didn’t mean anything. All this confusion. All this collapsing. It meant nothing because Gretel charged right along behind me and I felt this amazing warmth below my skin, spreading through my body, catching it on fire. But it was a good fire. It was something that raged within me. It felt like my soul was coming back to life and this fire was burning off some shell erected there to keep the whole sick world at bay.
Yes, things were going to be a lot better now. I knew they would be. Suddenly, running along the road, I had this feeling that I wanted everyone I had ever known to be running along right there with us. I wanted this because I wanted them to see how happy I was and I think I even wished that some of that happiness would rub off on them.
But I lost something along that run, too. I lost my adulthood. That is, I lost all the bad feelings and hatred and bitterness I had accumulated since leaving childhood. I was back in that sunfilled Saturday morning, faced with a weekend of friends, school left behind and still an eternity away. And I wasn’t alone in this feeling. I had someone to share it with because I knew that, even if I didn’t say anything about this feeling, Gretel would know about it. She would know about all the things I was feeling whether I talked about them or not. I didn’t even think we would need to talk. If we talked it would be to make conversation or maybe simply to hear the other person’s voice.
I longed to hear that sweet little giggle for the rest of my life! I longed to feel her soft hand in mine as I looked at her smile and tried to follow the dancing green light of her eyes!
Yes! This was it!
And we charged on toward the house. It loomed in front of us but something else floated behind it. Some other place that had never felt any sadness. Something that had been built for a child.
Gretel followed me into the marshy backyard, sloshing over the wet ground and onto the elevator.
I pulled her close to me, the rain still beating down. I wrapped my arms around her and felt all of her warmth. I felt it on the inside as well as on my skin and I hit the ‘up’ button, wondering what would be at the top of the elevator as much as she probably was. I knew it would be different.
Everything would be different now.
Everything would be better.
Everything eternal.
About the Author
Andersen Prunty lives in Dayton, Ohio. He is also the author of The Overwhelming Urge, Jack and Mr. Grin, Market Adjustment and Other Tales of Avarice, and The Sorrow King (forthcoming). Visit him on the web at www.andersenprunty.com.
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