“That isn’t the way I command.”
“Maybe it should become your way,” snapped Krytien. “Jonrell used to—”
“I’m not Jonrell!” yelled Kaz as he took a step forward. “You may be old, but I know you’re not blind. I don’t look like him, nor do I act like him. I’ll never be him. He’s dead. I wish he hadn’t died, but I can’t bring him back! Elyse put me in charge of her army. And for whatever reason the army follows me and is content with my command.” He paused. “It seems that most of the Hell Patrol isn’t.”
Krytien took a step forward himself, releasing his own pent up frustration. “That’s because we never made you leader! That wasn’t something for Elyse to decide.”
Kaz narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice. “Then why has no one brought this up in the year since Jonrell died? Why are my orders accepted?”
There was a moment of silence as Krytien mulled over the questions. He remembered the discussion he and Kroke had on the ship going to Estul Island. “Some of the crew has accepted you as leader. Others just don’t know what else to do. The rest know you’re doing right by Jonrell so they follow because they owe it to him.”
“That’s not good enough.”
Not good enough? “What?”
“This war is only going to get worse and hard times are coming ahead. I need men who will follow me, not Jonrell’s memory. His memory will not keep them alive. His memory will not win this war.”
“Maybe if you learned to treat the old crew better. It’s like you have it out for many of us.”
“Like who?”
“Kroke. Me. I know you hate sorcery.”
“Aye, I hate sorcery, but I don’t have it out for you. Nor do I have it out for Kroke.”
“Then why does it seem like you’re constantly burdening us with tasks others can just as easily do?”
“Because I know the Hell Patrol can do it better. It’s just like what I said about Yanasi. She’s one of the best I have. Kroke is in Lyrosene with Elyse because there isn’t anyone better I can leave behind to protect the queen. I sent you scouting with Rygar this morning because I wanted it done right in case there were other mages waiting for us. I’m tired of Tomalt’s attacks. They’re affecting the men’s morale. I needed that taken care of.”
Kaz threw up his hands. “And this is what I’m talking about. I was only with the Hell Patrol for a short period of time before Jonrell died and yet I saw him ask the same things of you and everyone else. Often, he asked more. Yet the work got done and no one complained. I see the looks that you and the others give me when I issue an order. You’ve been around long enough to know that over time your attitude can easily rub off onto the rest of the army, especially if things don’t go our way. I can’t have that.”
Kaz paused again and turned away. “This campaign is too important to risk the backlash of hurting your egos. Regardless of what you might think, I’m not doing this for myself. I’m doing this for Elyse and the promise I made to Jonrell. If you don’t want to take orders from me, then leave. Go back to Slum Isle and take the others with you. I have more important things to worry about than hurting your feelings.”
Krytien’s mouth hung agape, unable to think clearly. “I-I don’t know what to say.”
“Then go. I have things to do.”
* * *
Krytien hated to leave the conversation as he did but left anyway, full of conflicting emotions. He had expected to go in and give Kaz a piece of his mind, but their roles got reversed somewhere.
And he’s got me looking at him in a different light now. Maybe even how Jonrell saw him.
The exchange had been the most personal moment he had shared with Kaz since the man joined Hell Patrol. He saw a crack in Kaz’s armor. Krytien had been around leaders long enough to realize that the black man was not as sure of himself as he let others believe.
Everyone feels the weight of command at some point. Perhaps he always had and I was too caught up in myself to notice.
* * *
A cool breeze drifted along in the night and Kaz suppressed a shiver. His heavy boots treaded lightly over the open ground of camp as he made his rounds for the evening. It felt good to be out of his tent and walking about. The conversation with Krytien had sent his mind into a dozen different directions. He hadn’t intended to air out some of the things he mentioned, but he felt better after having done so. It surprised him that Krytien had not fired back in return.
Maybe he’s deciding whether or not to move on. I’ll need to reorganize the command if he does. He sighed. More things to do.
Kaz walked over to Hag and Wiqua. He passed Yanasi leaving the old woman’s tent. She quickly saluted and shied away. He thought back on what Krytien said about her when he heard Hag’s voice.
“Late again, I see.”
“He has the look of a man troubled by the burdens of command,” said Wiqua.
“Burdens? Ha. Try carrying a kid for nine months.”
Kaz started. “You have a child?”
Hag waved a hand. “And mess up my figure,” she said, grabbing at her wide hips. “One Above, no. I’ve just heard enough women complain about it over the years. Figure it had to be true.” She laughed.
Kaz couldn’t help but smile.
“There, now that’s better. I thought I might have to show you my teats to get rid of that sour look.” Hag cackled louder than before. “Now sit down while I get you a bowl.”
Dinner had been dished out long ago, but the two always saved him a portion to eat in his own time. Kaz took a place by the small fire, sitting across from Wiqua. The old Byzernian sipped a cup of tea as usual. He poured another cup and handed it to Kaz. Hag returned a short time later with his dinner. She grunted when taking her seat next to Wiqua.
“What was Yanasi doing in your tent?” asked Kaz.
Hag shook her head. “That’s between her and me.”
Kaz didn’t bother pressing. He knew he would get nothing from her. He resigned himself to his meal.
After a moment, Hag asked. “That conversation with Krytien has got you in a worse mood than usual.”
Kaz raised an eyebrow. “What do you know about that?”
“Most everything. I just so happened to be walking by when I heard you shouting.”
“So you thought you’d stay and listen?”
Hag shrugged. “Don’t give me that look. If you wanted it to be private, you should have had Krytien work a spell over the tent. Jonrell figured that out long ago.”
Kaz scowled. “Yes, one more thing that he did better than me.”
Hag waved a finger. “Don’t you start. You know that’s not what I meant. As much as some would hate to admit it, Jonrell was not a god. He made his mistakes like everyone else. I just never would have thought the man’s heart would be his downfall. I hope that little snot Mal is rotting down there with the One Below.”
“I doubt that Jonrell would wish that on Mal, even now,” Wiqua said, clearing his voice.
“Like I said, he wasn’t perfect.” She lowered her voice. “Now, as far as Krytien goes, you may think the man is always questioning you because he doesn’t trust you. Maybe there is a bit of that, but it’s more than that. He’s been around this group almost as long as I have, and he helped look after Jonrell when he first started out. Ronav before him. They both relied on his council. I’m not saying he’s got all the answers, but he’s someone you want on your side. Now, don’t you go telling him I said that. The last thing we need is for him to get a big head.”
He did listen for once rather than push his own thoughts when I exploded on him. “Maybe you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right. And it’s good that you let out all that stuff building up. He needed to hear it just as much as you needed to say it. Maybe now you two can be more civil toward each other.”
Kaz watched Wiqua put his arm around Hag. Kaz smiled again while looking at the two. Visiting them always seemed to clear his head.
Who wo
uld have thought people old enough to be my parents, or even grandparents in Hag’s case, would be the ones I could talk to the most?
He wondered if his own parents still lived somewhere, sitting by a fire and thinking about him.
They would probably think I’m dead by now.
“One Above, what’s on your mind now?” asked Hag. Kaz looked up as she glanced at Wiqua. “If he ain’t moping, then he ain’t happy.”
The old Byzernian narrowed his eyes. “You were thinking about your past again?”
Kaz nodded. “It’s hard not to.”
“And nothing new?”
“Nothing that would give me answers to who I am or where I’m from. They’re still mostly flashes and more of the same things. Destruction, blood, war, training. Every once in a while a brief glimpse of a city or a jungle. On a rare occasion even a face. But those are the briefest of all.” He swore in his native tongue. “I just as soon not remember anything than be haunted.”
A low snore sounded and Kaz saw that Hag had fallen asleep on Wiqua’s shoulder. “Sometimes I’m tempted to ask for your help,” said Kaz.
“But I’ve told you the risks,” said Wiqua.
“You also said it could work.”
“That doesn’t mean it will. Your mind could just as easily fall to pieces as it could mend itself.” He paused. “For someone who not too long ago abhorred all things sorcerous, I’m surprised you would consider it.”
“You don’t know what it’s like not to know who you really are.”
“I just ask you to be patient. It will come.” Wiqua smiled. “And I know who you are. Your memories will not change that, for the better or worse.”
Chapter 17
Elyse’s mouth hung open as she read the letter for the third time. She slowly sat in her chair.
One Above, am I dreaming?
“Is it that bad?” asked Lobella.
Elyse shook her head. She had found a letter bearing Olasi’s seal waiting on her desk when she entered her room. “Well, yes and no. The letter is actually from Markus, Duke Olasi’s son. His father is ill and has asked Markus to oversee his holdings in his stead. Markus is worried that Olasi won’t last but a few more months.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” said Lobella. “He seemed like a great man.”
Elyse remembered the nice old man at the dinner of her father’s funeral. Their talk had been the lone bright spot in an otherwise awful evening. “He is.” She paused. “But that’s not the main reason for his writing. Markus said that he’s been in contact with Duke Conroy. Apparently, Conroy is not as interested in the crown as we’ve all suspected and most of the activity behind his borders has been to prepare for the worst. Markus is trying to convince Conroy to meet with me in order to resolve any of his concerns. He thinks that if I were to travel to Lucartias, it would go a long way in speeding communications.”
Lobella’s eyes widened. “That’s great news! The war would be over.”
“Not quite. Tomalt and Bronn are still factors. Of course, Conroy has always been the most dangerous one. If he confirmed his support for me, we’d be able to attack Tomalt from the south while Kaz comes in from the north. And with Tomalt defeated, Bronn would be forced to surrender.”
Despite her caution, Elyse couldn’t help but feel excited over the prospect of peace.
How often have I prayed for it?
She dropped to her knees. “Lobella, would you pray with me in thanking the One Above?”
“Of course,” said Lobella as she knelt.
The two began their prayer.
* * *
Gauge sipped quietly at his tea, eyes cast down toward the scarred white marble of the inner courtyard. Elyse hated the place because of all the awful memories it held. The death and destruction had occurred over a year and a half ago, yet at times she felt like it had all happened just the day before.
Elyse and Gauge spoke prior to her announcing the contents of Markus’ letter to the council, but he still asked to speak with her in private afterward. As expected, the council received the news with excitement. However, some remained more reserved than others and Elyse had wondered what occupied their thoughts.
Already thinking of the new possibilities to seize power.
“Obviously, I think your decision to go to Lucartias and meet with Markus is the right one. But I would feel better about it if there wasn’t so much danger traveling under these circumstances,” said Gauge.
Elyse reached out and touched his hand. He’s worried. “I’ll be fine. I’ll have over two dozen of my personal guard with me in addition to Kroke.”
“Depending on the threat, those numbers could be inadequate.”
“Perhaps. But, the last thing I want to do is take half the city’s garrison with me on what is supposed to be a peaceful visit.”
Gauge nodded. “Yes, that would leave Lyrosene undermanned and I’ll have enough to worry about while you’re gone.”
Elyse frowned. “Is my absence that much harder on you?”
Gauge leaned back and let out a deep breath. “I’m afraid so, Your Majesty. Since your return, it has been much easier to get things accomplished regarding the day-to-day running of your kingdom. With you gone, I just don’t have the authority to make certain decisions, whether or not I know you’ll agree with them. Last year when you were traveling the countryside the nobles only grew more hostile. I wish there was a way to solve that situation.”
I hadn’t considered the impact of my decision on Gauge.
She thought for a moment. “I will sign off on a decree giving you power to make decisions regarding certain matters in my stead.”
“Your Majesty, are you sure? There is no precedence for that.”
“There was never a need for it either. For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve looked after both Cadonia’s best interests as well as my own. Why wouldn’t I make it easier for you in my absence?”
Gauge offered a warm smile. “Your Majesty, you are too kind.” He paused, and when he started speaking again she heard the strain in his voice. “After your father began to dismiss my council all those years ago, I felt so useless and helpless as I watched the kingdom deteriorate. His shunning of me was shortly after my wife’s passing and I hit a low I thought I might never return from. But since the king’s death, you’ve given meaning to my life again. I can never repay you for your kindness, except to do the best job I can.” He wiped at his eyes.
Gauge’s honesty touched Elyse. She reached out and laid her hand on his, trying not to let her own emotions get the better of her. “I would be lost without you, Gauge. Your commitment to the kingdom is more than enough to show your gratitude. I cannot think of anyone more deserving of my trust than you.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty.” Gauge nodded toward her lap. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”
Elyse looked at the letter resting there. “Oh, this is a message for Kaz to let him know about the news concerning Conroy and my intent to see Olasi and Markus.”
“Please allow me to take care of that for you. You have so much to do already for your trip.”
Elyse handed the letter off. “That would be a big help.”
* * *
A knock at the door sounded, yet Elyse’s attention stayed on the letter in her hands. It provided an update of Kaz’s position along with a brief overview of several small skirmishes the army had been involved in. Kaz achieved victory in each engagement, but the lives lost put her in a dour mood.
But if I’m successful in Lucartias, the bloodshed should end all the sooner.
The knock came again and Kroke cleared his throat while leaning against the wall.
Elyse called out. “Come in.”
The door cracked open and her steward’s long face peered into the room. “Lord Illyan is here for your appointment,” said Gillian in a low voice.
Time to get this over with. “Send him in.”
The door opened wider as the small man strode in. He held his head h
igh, black curls bouncing with each step. Elyse stood. “It’s good to see you, my lord,” she said, doing her best to remain civil.
Illyan bowed. “Thank you, Your Majesty. I’m pleased that after more than a year of trying to find a place in your schedule, a spot finally opened up.”
Elyse smiled. At her command, Gillian had been doing his best to put off any appointments with Illyan. However, the stress of dealing with the advisor’s daily pressures wore heavily on her steward and eventually she had to concede on a time and place. “I am a busy woman.” She gestured. “Have a seat and tell me what brings you here?”
Illyan flashed one of his creepy grins that sent a chill crawling up her back. “Oddly enough, the original reason I had set this meeting up so many months ago is no longer important,” he said, as they each took a chair.
Elyse started to stand, “Well, then we can adjourn early. Thank you for your time.”
“I beg your pardon, Your Majesty. But there are other matters to discuss.”
Elyse eased back in her seat. “Very well. Go on.”
He let out a sigh and seemed concerned. “About this letter you received from Markus. I’d like you to reconsider going to Lucartias.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Your Majesty, it’s too dangerous to travel.”
“By land, yes. But Lucartias is a port city and I’ll travel by sea. The waters are most secure since both the royal navy and Olasi’s fleets have blockaded Tomalt’s ports. Lady Jaendora has done an excellent job of rendering his navy useless.”
Illyan puffed out a deep breath in frustration. “Your Majesty, I must tell you the truth of things—what I tried to tell you weeks ago in council before Gauge stepped in.”
“I thought I told you that I do not wish to hear any rumors or gossip.”
“Your Majesty, Olasi’s son, Markus, is a traitor. I believe his contact with Conroy has not been what his letter to you indicated.”
Steel And Sorrow (Book 2) Page 17