by Amira Rain
Not seeming to notice my little freeze up, Mil continued on. "Grant is...well, I suppose he's simply intimidating at times. He has a very commanding presence, as I'm sure you've noticed. He's the strongest shifter our community has ever had, both physically, as a fighter in bear form, and mentally as well, I think. He's incredibly tough.
“He's a fierce protector of his people. He's a good man. One who would make an excellent husband. One for a young woman who likes a stoic, quiet man like Grant."
Appearing deep in thought, Mil paused to take a sip of her drink. "He's a man of much action, but very few words at times. Which wasn't always the case. He used to laugh and joke as a kid a lot. Used to talk a lot. But something happened to him when he was about fourteen, I think, and it changed him. It was at that time that he began to become the serious, strong, authoritative man he is today. It was at that time that Samuel began to defer to his leadership a bit, even though Samuel is the older brother by about a decade. I think he knew, and the boys' father, my brother, knew, that Grant was meant to be leader of this community."
"Well, what was that something that happened to Grant that made him quieter and more serious all of a sudden?"
I couldn't deny I was little curious.
Tucking a stray dark curl behind one ear, Mil shrugged. "Nobody knows. He was out exploring the land one night in bear form...nobody even knows for sure where. Miles and miles from here, I think it was said. And when he returned, he returned changed. He didn't speak for days. Just wanted to be left alone. He spent a lot of time by himself in the forests nearby. We don't know if he was attacked by a wolf shifter, or a dragon shifter, or if he just had some strange realization about himself. And at any rate, probably nobody will ever know. He never even told his father, mother, or brothers what had happened. He just came back changed. And that was that."
I had to wonder if that was the first time he'd killed someone.
Mil drained the rest of her drink and set the glass on the bar. "Onto Adrian. For some reason, I feel as though he requires less explaining than Grant. As I'm sure you might have been made aware on your trip here, he's a bit different than Grant. He's very strong as well, but a bit of a different personality. A bit less serious. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He'd also make an excellent husband. Maybe for a young woman who likes a strong man but with a bit more humor.
“I know both he and Grant are ready to settle down. Have children. Each of them is ready to have a life mate. And just judging by the little glances they were both giving you, little glances that their Aunt Mil could clearly tell were looks of intense interest, I think each of them would be quite pleased to be chosen by you. So, no sense in dragging it out. We'll all have brunch together, and then after, I'll expect an answer from you."
"But I said I refuse to make a choice, and I haven't changed my-"
"No more for right now. We're done talking about this subject. We'll talk again after brunch."
Grant wasn't the only commanding member of the Black family. Something about Mil's tone wouldn't let me say another word, despite the fact that I was just itching to.
After picking up the pitcher and coming around to the side of the bar where I was sitting, Mil immediately changed gears, her strong, resonant voice definitely softer than it had been a few moments previously. "I'm not sure what kind of a life you've had in Stony Rapids, Lila, and though I'm sure you're probably not ready to discuss it, I can imagine, just from things I've heard about the wolves, that your life hasn't been entirely free from pain.
“You've maybe even experienced a lot of pain. Maybe you've experienced things you'll want to share later, or maybe never, which is fine. But I just want to let you know that I'm a woman who has experienced pain, too, so I can relate. And anytime that you'd like to talk to me, about any pain you've experienced in the past, or anything else at all, I'll be here to talk."
With a surprising little ache in my chest, I moved my head in a slight nod, and she continued.
"I lost my husband seven years ago, and my brother, who was Grant, Adrian, and Samuel's father, passed away only six months later. Their mother, who was not only my sister-in-law, but my very best friend, passed away not even a month after that. I've experienced pain and loss. Grief is familiar to me now, and it doesn't scare me. Not even when I see it in the eyes of someone I've just met. So, just to let you know...as you adjust to your new life here...I have two listening ears."
I didn't know if it was the quite large vodka shot and then the Bloody Mary I'd had, but I was suddenly very confused. I was becoming more and more convinced that Mil was a genuine, sincere person and wasn't playing any sort of a strange game. But instead of heartening me, this just made me anxious. I felt like I was losing my bearings a bit. Like I wasn't sure what was what anymore.
However, one thing I knew for certain. Whether Mil could be trusted or not, her two nephews definitely could not be. Maybe Mil didn't know about the attack on Gray and Estelle. Maybe she'd had nothing to do with it. I knew it was possible. But I still found it quite impossible that Grant and Adrian didn't know anything about it, hadn't participated in it, at least one of them. And because of this, I was determined not to let my guard down around them.
Just then, with two small boys on their heels, they reentered the large room. Mil announced that a breakfast casserole in the oven was almost done, then asked if I'd like to freshen up before brunch and directed me to a bathroom down the hall. I was more than grateful for the brief escape. Just seeing Grant and Adrian again, with their handsome faces, dark hair, and jeans hanging low on their slim hips, had made my heart pound.
Brunch was fairly uneventful. I didn't say much and only responded when directly spoken to. I was however, polite. I met Mil's daughter, Fiona, who was a young woman about my age, Mil's teenage son, Bennett, and Samuel's two young sons, Brandon and Martin. There was also a non-family guest at the table. He was a very handsome dragon shifter named Steven Ashcrest, and he was the youngest son of Lord Ashcrest from the city of the same name. Mil said that he'd needed a change of scenery and was staying as a very welcome guest for however long he liked.
I was sure there was more to his story than simply needing a change of scenery, though I couldn't be bothered to wonder about that much. All throughout the meal, I was just a bit too distracted by the very brief little looks Grant and Adrian were giving me. I was a bit too distracted by their similar heavy-lidded eyes and the outlines of their chiseled chests beneath their t-shirts.
I was determined that I was not going to choose one of them right away. Not until I got a bit of a better feel about them both. And if that meant I'd have to share a bed with them both for a short while, then so be it. I was determined to simply endure it as part of what I needed to do to get a better idea of the truth.
However, the more I contemplated the idea of sharing a bed with the two brothers, the less certain I was that I'd be able to merely endure it. I fully realized that I was a woman with strong desires and needs. Decidedly unmet desires and needs. Desires and needs that could become fairly urgent and torturous at times. Also, Mil had not been wrong when she'd said that many women fantasized about sharing a bed with two men at once. I was one of those women.
That notwithstanding, I resolved that I'd just have to be strong. I'd just have to will myself from taking pleasure from any act with a bear shifter. I decided I'd actually consider the night ahead as a personal challenge and test of strength, one I intended to pass with flying colors. I'd even see it an some sort of an act of rebellion. Grant and Adrian could do whatever they pleased to gain their own pleasure, but I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of making me cry out with my own.
I was glad when the meal ended and everyone left the spacious, multipurpose room. Everyone but Mil and me, that is. After we'd cleared the table together, we stood in the kitchen, facing each other.
She looked at me, putting her hands on her hips. "Well, who is it going to be? Grant, or Adrian?"
Mirroring her pose, I put m
y hands on my hips as well. "Neither. I'll take them both into my bed tonight. And you can tell them that I'll be expecting them both at nine o' clock sharp."
*
I told Mil that my mind was made up with all finality. I also told her that although I wasn't very experienced sexually, I was no virgin, either, and I had no trepidation about having Grant and Adrian in my bed at the same time. I'd thought she might pressure me more into making a decision, one brother over the other, one brother who would become my husband and mate for life. But, somewhat to my surprise, she didn't.
She simply dipped her head in a fraction of a nod. "As you wish. It's your choice, so long as you're aware that you're inviting two young, healthy men into your bed, and not only that, but as you might know, shifters have increased appetites and stamina compared to completely human men."
I did know that. And for some reason, Mil's mentioning it, and my thinking about that fact right then, made a little heat rise to my face. It also made me picture Grant and Adrian, and their long, hard bodies for a moment, and I wondered whether or not I'd really be able to stick to my plan of simply letting them take their pleasure while not experiencing or expressing any of my own. But I was determined.
I looked Mil directly in her dark brown eyes. "You can tell Grant and Adrian I'll see them both at nine."
She studied me for a brief second before responding. "Alright. I will. You've made your choice."
After she and Fiona had helped me get settled in to an apartment suite of my own on the third floor of the beyond-enormous house, the two of them showed me around the town of Sun Creek. The sunny September afternoon was simply gorgeous, as was the entire city, though I could hardly concentrate on any of the sights.
As the day passed, I became increasingly preoccupied by thoughts of what was going to happen that evening. Mil and Fiona took me to several shops to outfit me with a new wardrobe, since all I'd basically arrived with were the clothes on my back. At one of the shops, Fiona had to ask me three times if I liked a particular top she was holding up. I'd heard her, yet kind of hadn't heard her, at the same time. I'd been wondering what kind of lovers Grant and Adrian might be. Wondering pretty much against my will. My brain was beginning to seem intent on working against my plans.
However, for all my wondering that day, Grant and Adrian didn't come to my rooms that night. They weren't able to. While Mil, Fiona, and I ate dinner at one of the restaurants in town after our shopping, Mil received a text message from Samuel saying that he, Grant, Adrian, and some other men were needed on the western outskirts of town, where some wolf shifter spies had been spotted.
After reading the message out loud, Mil set her phone down and looked at me. "These aren't wolf shifter spies from Stony Rapids. These are different wolves from a town called Howell, a bit closer to us, about twenty miles roughly north. These wolves have been giving us some trouble lately. Trying to abduct some of our women and steal some of our property. However, everything's under control.
“Grant and his men are taking care of things. I'm sure this means Grant and Adrian won't be back until very, very late. They'll want to either catch the spies and deal with them, or make sure they've fled. So, you'll rest and continue to get settled in tonight. Tomorrow night they'll come to see you."
Stunned and horrified, I realized I was maybe just the slightest bit disappointed. I couldn't imagine why. I knew I should be glad and relieved. I knew there shouldn't be any reason for me to feel disappointed that two bear shifters who likely had been a part of the attack on Gray and Estelle wouldn't be sharing my bed that night. But just the same, I couldn't shake the feeling.
After dinner, when Mil and Fiona took me shopping for a cell phone, Mil seemed to notice.
While I was looking at two different phones, she sidled up to me and spoke in a low voice. "Don't worry. Tomorrow night's not that far away."
Beyond irritated, I clenched my jaw and didn't respond.
Despite the fact that the bed in my apartment suite was extremely large and comfortable, and despite the fact that I'd had a very long day that had begun well before dawn, I couldn't fall asleep right away that night. I tossed and turned for at least an hour before getting out of bed and looking through several rows of books on a three-tiered shelf in what I was coming to see as my living room.
I didn't find anything I wanted to read. I paced around a bit, my feet noiseless on a large burgundy-colored rug covering the hardwood. I made and ate a snack in my own little kitchen before returning to the living room to pace some more.
It was about midnight by the time I was finally able to fall asleep. And even then, I didn't sleep very deeply. I awoke around four in the morning after having had a dream about Grant and Adrian in my bed, both of them naked, both of them kissing and touching me.
With a growing sense of shame, I realized that the feminine folds between my thighs had become incredibly slick. I'd also awoken with a dull ache low in my belly. Disgusted with myself, I got up and went to get myself cleaned up a bit in the bathroom. I was determined to curb whatever insanity was beginning to come over me.
When I returned to bed, I reminded myself over and over that Grant and Adrian had very likely had been directly involved in the killing of my adoptive parents. I tried to muster all the anger I possibly could toward them, which wasn't difficult to do at all. And eventually, I fell back asleep again, and this time, I slept hard. I didn't have any more dreams.
The next day, it poured rain, and I didn't leave the house. I didn't even leave my rooms except to have breakfast with Mil, Fiona, Brandon, and Martin in a formal dining room on the ground floor, where we were attended to by household staff. Grant, Adrian, and Samuel were still sleeping after having not returned from dealing with the wolf spies from Howell until nearly dawn.
After I'd returned to my rooms, Mil came to check in on me around lunchtime. For some reason, I just kind of wanted to be alone, and she seemed to sense this. After telling me that Grant and Adrian would be up to share my bed at the appointed time, she left.
I read some, ate a late lunch, and took a nap. I spent some time pacing, trying to distract myself from any and all thoughts of Grant and Adrian without much success. That evening, I ate dinner by myself in my own kitchen. After, I took a long bubble bath, irritated that the dull, frustrating ache low in my belly had returned. Just from picturing Grant and Adrian's handsome faces and briefly wondering a few times if their bodies would look like how I pictured them in my dream the night before. Which was to say, amazing. Tempting.
After my bath, I wound my long, dark hair into a loose, messy bun, then discovered I wasn't quite sure what kind of clothes to wear. Day clothes didn't seem quite right, but pajamas didn't exactly seem right, either. The thought of opening my door dressed in night clothes, to usher in two men I'd just met the day before, just seemed odd. Then again, I was soon to be sharing a bed with them both, so I was sure I should get over the informality of standing before them in pajamas.
After lighting a few tall red pillar candles on the right side of my dresser, I stood looking over a few different modest pajama sets I'd set out on the left side, wondering which was the most attractive. Wondering why I was even wondering which was the most attractive. I didn't care what Grant and Adrian thought about me or my clothes. They were my enemies. And I was simply in survival mode. I was simply in an enduring-my-lot-in-life mode. Or so I told myself. Because if all that were true,
I wasn't sure why my pulse began pounding when a loud knock sounded on my living room door at eight-fifty, a full ten minutes sooner than I thought I'd hear a knock. They were early. And I was still only wrapped in a towel. My skin was still glistening wet from my bath. "Dammit."
I glanced through my open bedroom door to the living room, uncertain if I should go to the door and call out to give me a minute, or just go ahead and continue getting dressed first. I looked back down at the pajama sets on my dresser, deciding that they could wait. I'd get dressed first, and I'd take my sweet time.
"Oh, fine!"
I'd had it. Now I was beyond irritated. I was angry. If they were going to come ten minutes early, I thought, they should at least have the decency to give me a minute to answer the door. I was going to tell them exactly this. And I didn't even care if I had to do it in a towel.
I stomped over to the door and flung it open, ready to let them have it. But suddenly, all my anger kind of floated away. Grant stood just beyond the doorway, shirtless and in jeans, a tumbler of what looked like whiskey in his hand. Adrian was shirtless as well, holding a bottle of unopened champagne. My gaze flitted from one bare, muscled chest to the other. My heart began to sound like a jackhammer in my ears. The ache low in my belly, that had never really left, intensified.