by Jenna Grey
“Drying,” Lily said. How do you feel?”
Connor thought about it for a moment and nodded.
“I… I feel good. Better,” he said.
Sauergum waddled over to a large chest in the corner, a great monster of a thing that would have been perfect for transporting dead bodies. As soon as the thought entered her head, Lily wished she hadn’t thought it. The hobgoblin delved inside, almost disappearing into it, her stumpy legs flailing in the air as she leant just a little too far. She pulled out pots and pans, old hats, shoes, garment after garment, throwing them over her shoulder into a heap on the floor. Sauergum rummaged through it, and came over to the bed with an armful of clothing, nursed in her arms.
“I used some of my old ma’s ointment on you,” she said. “Clears up everything from spots to sword wounds. You’ll be fine as fine in no time. I’ve got some a Mawgum’s clothes you can wear young master, might be a bit big, but you’ll grow into them.”
Lily picked up the tunic that Sauergum had dropped on the bed and giggled. It was as big as a tent. She helped Connor to dress, and when he cautiously tested to see if he could stand, Lily burst out laughing. The tunic was about three times too wide and barely long enough to cover his waist, the leggings came only half way down his shins and would have wrapped around him several times. He hitched them up with a piece of string.
“My wardrobe isn’t really getting any better, is it?” Connor said, laughing at himself.
“Well, sit yourself down at the table, I’ll serve your soup,” Saeurgum said, eyeing him up and down. “I’d forgotten how skinny Mawgum used to be...”
“I can’t imagine how you manage to find food around here, there’s nothing but snow outside,” Lily said.
“Oh, we store up through the summer and trade for food. Mawgum has a gold mine just a way from here and he takes it and sells it at the citadel.”
Lily looked across at the rows of onions hanging from the rafters and the sacks of what must have been root vegetables in the corner. It certainly didn’t look as if they were going short of anything.
Sauergum set the huge bowls of stew down in front of them and Lily grabbed the spoon before the bowl had hit the table. It was too hot, and she frantically blew on the spoonful of soup, to try and cool it down. Connor took the spoon from her, with a wry smile on his lips, and putting his hands around the bowl, poured a little magic into it. Lily glared at him and grabbed the spoon back.
“Smart arse,” she said, testing the soup and finding it was just the right temperature. The first spoonful was the best thing she’d ever tasted, thick and rich, full of big chunks of potato, onion and carrot. She shovelled down the whole bowlful and gave a sigh of pleasure as it warmed her through from nose to toes, and stopped her protesting belly from griping for the first time in days.
“Thank you so much for everything,” Lily said. “We will pay you back, with interest, I promise.”
“Of course you will, young mistress. Once you take your rightful place on the throne.”
Lily thought for a moment that she’d misheard her, but then Connor said:
“You know who we are?”
Sauergum clucked her tongue at them.
“Of course I do. Legend tells of a great evil that will come and threaten our land, and two foundlings. of the old race will put things right. If you’re here, then I daresay the evil is already on us, we just don’t know it yet. Old Elidor isn’t a bad king as far as king’s go, but his wife rules him, and she is trouble in anyone’s language.”
“What is she exactly?” Lily asked.
Sauergum scratched her head through her brambles with one very dirty looking claw of a finger nail, giving the matter careful consideration. She gave a loud sniff, before sticking the same talon up into her bulbous nose and raking out the largest bogey that Lily had ever seen. Sauergum examined it closely for a moment, as if gloating over a prized possession, then wiped it down her already filthy apron. Lily gulped back her dinner and was so very glad that she’d finished eating.
“Ahh, no-one is exactly sure who Adeline is, or where she came from, but some say that she is a demon, and I don’t doubt it. Word is that she bewitched the King into marrying her and it’s she who really rules.”
“I can believe that,” Lily said, still feeling slightly nauseous.
Sauergum stood up and began clearing the bowls away.
“Let me help,” Lily offered.
Sauergum shooed her away.
“You sit down and save your strength,” she said, piling up the bowls. “If the Queen knew you were here, well… I wouldn’t say much for your safety, but we’re well tucked away here and I think you’re safe enough.”
Sauergum stopped for a moment, leant over to one side, elevating her enormous behind, and let out a very long, very ripe fart. Lily and Connor both clamped their mouths shut and held their breath for as long as they could, but eventually they had to exhale and Lily could see Connor trying to draw in shallow breaths, just as she was. She could see his cheeks reddening, and he put his hand up to his face, pretending he was wiping his mouth, to try and block out some of the stench.
“Oh, sorry about that,” Sauergum said, eventually realising there was a ventilation problem. She went to the window and opened it. “My guts haven’t been right since I had that tape worm last year. Anyway, now you’re all fed and rested you need to work out where you go from here, dearies”
Lily looked across at Connor.
‘We have to trust her. We need her help.’
Lily nodded.
“Whatever the risk we have to go to the Winter Court and warn Elidor that he mustn’t go up against the Shadow King and his army,” Connor said. “If he does, then they will all die. He can’t be defeated by anyone but us, and we aren’t ready to fight him yet.”
Sauergum gave it a few thoughtful moments.
“Well, my lovelies. We’re a good day’s ride from the Citadel, but Mawgum can get you there safely enough. Trouble is, I’m not so sure that they would let you into court looking like two beggars. It’s a pity you don’t have any better clothes. You don’t look much like royalty. I’ve sent Mawgum down to Tunneltown to see if he can get something better for you. He should be back soon.”
“Thank you for going to so much trouble for us,” Connor said.
Sauergum waved a dismissive hand at him.
“Well, I’m not going to be able to put the Shadow King in his place, am I? You don’t really think I want goblins trampling all through my living room, now do you?” She stopped and tipped her head on one side, uncovering one, remarkably large, pointed ear, that covered half the side of her head. “That sounds like Mawgum now, you can tell his great big clod hoppers a mile off and by the sound of it he’s carrying something heavy.”
“You can tell he’s carrying something just by hearing him?” Lily asked.
Sauergum peeled back her fringe of hair as if she were parting theatre curtains and gave Lily a hideous grin, broken tombstone teeth jostling to find room in her mouth.
“What do you think these ears are for? Keeping my head warm?”
Lily didn’t have time to laugh. The great oak door creaked open and... something came in.
The something was actually far wider than the door and it had to turn sideways to get through it. Once through Lily could see that it was another hobgoblin, but its size was far larger than any hobgoblin that Lily had ever heard of ‒ hobgoblins weren’t exactly renowned for their heroic physiques. The widest part of their body was invariably their belly ‒ and by quite a large margin at that. Mawgum barrelled into the room, taking up most of it, and bringing a smell with him that made Lily’s eyes sting.
“Ah, so the young master and mistress is up and about, I see,” Mawgum rumbled. He peered at Lily through his own outcrop of face hair, two bright green eyes, that reminded Lily a little too much of the Djinn.
“Both of them fine as lace and twice as pretty. How did you get on?”
Mawgum lu
mbered across and dumped the very large sack he was carrying down beside the table, rummaging inside.
“Got us a nice bit of fish for supper,” he said, slapping a parcel on the table. That accounted for the stink, at least partly. Sauergum unwrapped it to reveal the ugliest fish Lily had ever seen. “We can have a head each,” He was still rummaging in the bag.
When Lily looked closer, she could see that it had two heads and several eyes in each. She only prayed that she wouldn’t have to eat any of it. Mawgum dumped a huge pile of clothes on the table: sleeves, legs, buckles and braces, dangling everywhere. Sauergum ambled around and began rummaging through them.
“Nice bit of clobber you got here, brother,” she said, holding up a dress, that Lily had to admit was a damn sight better than she had been expecting. Lily stood and took the fishy smelling dress from Sauergum, holding it up against her. It fitted almost perfectly. It was a fairly plain dress, a deep red, and quite loose fitting, but it had pretty stitching on the front, and if she put a belt around it, she thought it would be just right. It was made of a very soft thick wool, as well, which would help to keep out some of the cold.
“This is lovely, thank you… but we can’t pay you, we don’t have any money.”
Both Sauergum and Mawgum looked mortally offended, although it was a bit hard to get the full impact of their glare through the facial infestation.
“We’re very grateful,” Connor put in quickly. “We’re deeply in your debt.”
That seemed to pacify them, and Mawgum dug out a long tunic for Connor, that seemed just about right for his gangly length. It was the darkest forest green, perhaps not the best camouflage in the middle of a winter, but at least better than potato sacks. There were some leggings and boots for him as well.
“You can go behind there to change,” Sauergum said, pointing to a rather moth eaten curtain draped across the corner of the room. Lily and Connor did as they were told and found themselves in what appeared to be Mawgum’s bed… corner. There was a huge log bed covered in furs; the smell emanating from it was an odious mixture of body odour and old animal fur. Lily and Connor stripped, and although Connor did seem much better, he still winced as he moved. Whatever Sauergum had used on him had worked wonders, but he still wasn’t completely right. Lily helped him to dress, and she changed into her new wardrobe; she had to admit she felt surprisingly good. Mawgum had found her a pair of fur lined boots that fitted her just right.
“Well, at least the King won’t laugh us out of court now,” Connor said.
“I’ve been thinking about that,” Lily said. “What if he won’t listen to us? I mean, why should he believe that we’re the only ones who can save everyone. He doesn’t know who we are.”
Connor thought about it for a few minutes.
“Hecate wouldn’t have brought us here if she thought that there was any chance of that. He has to listen. We have more power than he does, more power than any of the Seelie Kings and Queen’s, we just have to make him believe that.”
Lily gave a little whimper.
“The problem is that I don’t believe that. You act like a king, you know all the right things to say and do. I can’t even do simple magic. I’m going to make a fool of myself.”
Connor sat down on the huge bed, and pulled Lily down beside him, taking her hand in his.
“Now, you stop this nonsense right now,” he said, his voice gently admonishing. “You’ve done more for me than I could ever do for you. When I was trapped in that half world, you found the ointment that made it possible for me to see and hear clearly again. You took care of me when I couldn’t take care of myself, brought me food and kept me safe. You’re the bravest and smartest person I’ve ever met. You faced the Black King all on your own, kept yourself alive when you should really have died. Don’t you dare say that you’re not worthy to be Queen. You’re going to make the best Queen ever.”
He bent forwards and pressed a tender kiss on her lips, smiling through it.
“Well, I suppose I’ll have to get used to being called ‘Your Majesty’ then, won’t I?”
“Come on,” Let’s go back out there and let Sauergum and Mawgum tell us our next move.”
When they got back out into the living room the two hobs had their heads together in conference, whispering to one another. Lily would like to have told them that it’s not polite to whisper, but thought it best to keep her mouth shut for once. They turned as Connor and Lily walked back in, and she could see, even through the fungus, that they had smiles on their faces.
“Well now, my lovelies,” Sauergum said. “We’ve been discussing the best way to get you to see the king and queen. It seemed to Mawgum here, that you need some kind of credentials to get you into the palace. I mean, if you turned up there, just two little waifs, and told them that you’re royalty, they’re likely to throw you in the madhouse…”
“So I’m gonna take you to Tunneltown and present you to Grendel, King of the Hobs and ask him for his help,” Mawgum said.
“Will he give it, do you think?” Lily asked.
“Course he will. He’s not the brightest of creatures, love him, but he’s got the wit to know when things needs to be done. We’ll ask him to send a letter of recommendation, introducing you to Elidor, and send an escort of hobgoblins along with you. Elidor will have to take you seriously then. The citadel relies on us hobs to trade with them and keep them supplied with gold and other goods from the south. They’d all starve to death without us,” Sauergum said, with a little chuckle.
“Well, that’s wonderful. I should tell you, that Hecate has given us her blessing. She brought us here to you, and she’ll bless you for your kindness, I’m sure.”
Sauergum beamed at her.
“Well, you’re fed and rested, so no time to waste. I’ll wrap your clothes up in a parcel for you, and we’ll find you a couple of warm cloaks to keep out the chill.”
Sauergum went and began to collect up the potato sacks.
“We don’t need those thank you,” Lily said.
“Oh well, I’ll sew them up and make potato sacks out of them,” Sauergum replied, and looked bemused when Connor and Lily laughed.
The cloaks that Sauergum had given them were made of thick wool and fur lined, so warm and snug that Lily didn’t feel the least bit cold when they stepped outside into the bright sunlight. Sauergum gave her a sweaty hug, pressing her ample bosom against Lily’s ribs, and almost squeezing the life out of her. Lily bent forwards and gave her a kiss on the forehead, getting a mouthful of fuzz in the process.
“Thank you for everything, We’ll come back and see you as soon as we can.”
Sauergum hugged Connor, barely coming up to his chest, and as she pulled away Lily could see pearls of tears, dropping from her eyes. She wiped them dry on the hem of her filthy apron.
“Mawgum will take good care of you, my darlings, you just keep yourself safe.”
Mawgum had disappeared, but Lily and Connor both gave a gasp of pleasure and surprise, or perhaps that should have been shock, when they saw the huge sleigh coming towards them, drawn by a creature that made even hobgoblins look ordinary. The monster was something like a dragon, but was hairy and covered in a knotted, shaggy fur, the colour of walnut shells. It was so long that it trailed in the snow, decorated around the edges with clumps of frozen snow, that it shook from itself every so often. Lily gave a little grin as she looked down at its great hairy Hobbit feet which splayed across the snow, giving it plenty of traction.
“Does it bite?” Lily asked.
“Only goblins,” Mawgum said with a grin, “Or folks who don’t put their hand in their pockets ter buy me a drink in the pub.”
Lily walked tentatively across and patted its long snout, wide nostrils giving it a remarkably dragonish appearance. It regarded her with a kind of puzzled, but benevolent expression on its face. Every so often it would snort its impatience to get moving.
“He’s kind of cute,” Lily said, as the creature, nuzzled her with a
very wet nose. A yard long tongue snaked out and washed her entire face, chin to hairline, with one well placed, slobbery lick.
“Her name’s Gertrude. Hop on board, younglings.,” Mawgum said, as Lily wiped her face with her sleeve, spitting camelak saliva from her mouth. “Time’s a wasting. I want to get to Tunneltown before dark.”
Lily and Connor scrambled on board, and nestled in amongst the pile of furs and packages in the back as Mawgum gave a yell of a command, and cracked his whip. The sleigh took off at great speed, down the steep slope, throwing both of them backwards into a pile of packages. Connor winced as the sudden movement caught his injured side, but he was laughing and they snuggled down together to enjoy the ride.
Chapter Ten.
The journey was for the most part surprisingly smooth, with just the odd heart-stopping leap into the air when the sleigh hit a rock or bump in the snow. They were travelling down the mountain, into the valley, and all Lily could see from the back were the tops of trees whizzing past and the winter sky. They were very warm and snug under the covers, and Lily soon found herself dozing. It had started to snow again, and the fur they were hiding under was soon buried under a thick layer of white which they had to keep shaking off. They were both in very good spirits, because, at last things finally seemed to be going their way.
Then the world turned upside down ‒ literally.
Lily was thrown through the air as the sleigh lurched violently to one side, toppling, and almost throwing Lily and Connor out. There was the dreadful sound of splintering wood as the runners beneath the sleigh were wrenched apart as it overturned. She was totally disoriented, spilling through the air, and tumbling in a heap in the snow, covered in a pile of furs, skins and parcels. Mawgum gave a fearful scream, torn from him from somewhere deep in his belly, a sound so terrible that Lily felt her bowels cramp; she had never heard anything so terrible. Connor grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet, and when she stumbled and landed face first in the snow, he still kept dragging her, grazing her face against the razor sharp crystals of ice that had shattered from the sleigh as it toppled. He flung her back into the shelter of the upturned sleigh, just as an arrow zipped past her head and buried itself in the wood, just inches away from her ear.