by Ann Lister
“I suppose.”
“Are you with someone these days?”
“You mean like a girlfriend?”
“Or a boyfriend,” Dakota added. “I know you go both ways.”
They both laughed at that last comment and then the Simon slowly shook his head. “I haven't been with anyone in quite a while,” he admitted. “The therapist I've been seeing frowns upon patients new to sobriety getting involved in relationships. He wanted me to focus on myself, so I did, and all this time later, I still haven't gotten laid.”
“I thought rock stars fucked on a nightly basis,” Dakota said as a joke.
“Not this one,” Simon countered. “I guess I'm either out of practice or maybe since I took a break from the band, I'm no longer considered to be a rock star.”
“No way. You'll always be a rock star. There's no running away from that.”
Simon couldn't stop grinning. He balled up the paper wrapper from his sandwich and collected the rest of his trash from the table before he stood up. “Feel like going for a walk or something?” he asked hopefully.
“Yeah, sure,” Dakota agreed. “I've got no where I need to be.”
Chapter Ten
Their walk turned into a ride, which led them to Simon's estate in the hills above Los Angeles. Simon parked in front of his four car garage and stepped out of his sports car. A few seconds behind him, Dakota's Jeep pulled up and parked next to his car.
“I see music treated you really well,” Dakota commented and then whistled at the large house spread out before them.
“Royalties from our heyday helped pay for this,” Simon answered. He motioned Dakota to follow as they walked up to the front door. Simon unlocked the door and reset the alarm once Dakota had stepped inside behind him.
“Holy shit! This place is gorgeous,” Dakota said.
Simon shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it on the back of a chair in the kitchen, then he opened up the refrigerator and pulled out two bottles of water. He passed one to Dakota and watched him twist off the cap. They stood awkwardly in Simon's state-of-the-art kitchen staring at each other while they drank their water. Simon was so anxious that his hands were shaking. He tried to steady his nerves with his grip on the plastic water bottle, but it wasn't working.
“I'm nervous,” Simon finally admitted.
“Don't be,” Dakota said. “It's just you and me here.”
A tight laugh bounced from Simon's mouth. “You say that like your presence isn't a big deal. It's a huge fucking deal, Dakota. Enormous.”
Dakota set his bottle of water down on the kitchen island and stepped closer to Simon. He stopped when he was only a foot or so in front of him. The closer he inched, Simon could no longer hold eye contact. His gaze dropped to his feet instead.
“Simon, look at me,” Dakota instructed. It took several long seconds before Simon could do it, but he finally lifted his head. Dakota's fingertips ran over his cheek, then down onto his whiskered jawline before the calloused palm cupped the side of Simon's face. “You have no idea how many times I've dreamed of doing this to you again.”
“Dakota, please.”
“Do you wanna show me your bedroom?”
Simon practically ran from the kitchen with Dakota right on his heels. They hit the curved staircase that led upstairs to the bedrooms and then took the stairs, two at a time. Simon turned the corner in the hallway and hurried to the end where the door to his room was located and then he froze. Dakota ended up bumping into his backside just from his forward momentum.
“You okay?” Dakota's warm breath floated across the side of Simon's neck, and his voice tickled his ear. Dakota had his chest pressed to Simon's back, and his hands held on to his shoulders. He tipped his head, and his lips ghosted around the shell of Simon's ear. His tongue swiped a taste before his teeth nipped the flesh of his lobe. “If you'd rather we don't go in there, that's fine,” Dakota said in a raspy voice. “Just say the word, and I'll take off and go home.”
Simon spun against Dakota and brought them face to face with their noses almost touching. There were so many things Simon wanted to say, but the burning need he now had was making it impossible to speak. Dakota walked Simon backwards until he hit the wall behind him. He held Simon's head in both his hands as tightly as the connection of their eyes. Simon was afraid to blink for fear Dakota might disappear into thin air if he closed them for even a split second.
And then his lips were hovering over Simon's and their noses rubbed together. Hot panting breaths bounced off the other and set tiny fires to each new cell that was awakened. Simon's fingers wrapped around Dakota's biceps and squeezed. The heat crackling between them was potent. Every inch of Simon's body was on fire, and he needed relief.
Simon's fingers moved to Dakota's chest just as Dakota's lips and teeth started placing little nips along his jaw. His head fell back and hit the wall with a thud as he sighed, “Fuckkkk.”
A second later, Dakota's mouth took his in a hard kiss, which stole the last rational thoughts inside his head. After that, he was gone–his mind and body were Dakota's to do whatever the hell he pleased. There was no way Simon had the emotional strength to put this back into a box and forget about it. And he didn't want to, either. This was everything he wanted–what he needed, and there'd be no more denying it.
Dakota's hand palmed the hard mound tenting Simon's jeans. His fingers squeezed and stroked him through the fabric until he was close to coming. “Jesus, I need to lay down,” Simon mumbled in between kisses.
One kick to the bedroom door and it flew open to bounce off the wall behind it. Dakota seemed to zero in on the big king-sized bed placed by the windows across the room, and he pulled Simon towards it. “I need you naked,” Dakota requested, while his own fingers got busy removing his shirt and jeans. He held onto his jeans until he fished out a condom from the front pocket, then dropped the pants on the floor on top of his shirt and climbed onto the bed wearing only his boxer briefs.
Dakota tossed the foil packet on the mattress and rolled up against Simon. He set his head on the same pillow, then wrapped his arms around him. “Do you still bottom?” he asked as he kissed Simon again and scissored their legs together.
“Just for you,” Simon panted out the words.
Dakota tipped his head and grinned at him. “Yeah? Just me?”
“I'll never bottom for anyone but you,” Simon clarified. “How about you?”
Dakota shook his head. “You're still the only one I've bottomed for,” Dakota admitted. “Lube?”
“Top drawer behind you,” Simon instructed.
Dakota let go of Simon long enough to reach for the tube of lube and then rolled back to him. He wiggled out of his boxer briefs and Simon did the same, then he squirted a generous glop of the gel into his palm. He coated his fingers and pulled off a few strokes on his cock while Simon watched with rapt wonder.
“Are you gonna use some of that lube on me?” Simon asked.
“I'm already so close to coming,” Dakota confessed.
“Then, prep me,” Simon directed. “I want your cock in me.”
Simon held his breath when Dakota's cool, lube-slippery fingers moved behind his ball sac and then circled his hole. It had been too fucking long since he'd felt this kind of arousal, and as he thought about it, he realized he'd only ever felt this level of intensity with Dakota–the man who's fingers were now breaching his tight opening.
“Fuck, I want you so bad,” Simon whispered while he fisted Dakota's thick cock in his hand.
“If you keep stroking me like that, I'm gonna shoot my load all over your stomach–instead of inside this tight hole.”
Dakota's fingers curled inside Simon's channel and bumped against his prostate. The curse rumbling from Simon's throat sounded more like a growl as Dakota's fingers slid in deeper, then retracted a bit to rub that magic spot, again and again. Dakota had Simon riding the sharp edge of bliss for far too long until he finally pulled his fingers from Simon's ass to rol
l the condom over his leaking cock.
“You ready for me?” Dakota asked.
“I was ready for you twenty minutes ago!”
“Hmmm, impatient man,” Dakota whispered against Simon's open mouth. He offered Simon a kiss which would be the last sign of gentleness until after they had both found release. Simon knew Dakota wouldn't hurt him and would give him exactly what he knew he craved so badly. So, when Dakota eased Simon onto his back, Simon went willingly, and his whole body was vibrating because he knew what was going to happen next.
He watched the expression on Dakota's face turn serious and the tiny glint of danger that sparked in his eyes. It was such a complete turn-on to see Dakota morph into the fucking machine he could be in bed. God, I've missed this–missed him. He knew exactly how far to push Simon to give him the biggest orgasm. He understood Simon's hard limits, and they always played well within those boundaries, but he also wasn't afraid to give Simon just what he ached for every time they were together. This wasn't about them pushing the pain threshold. This was about dominance and the deep need Simon had to submit.
“Are you still mine?” Dakota asked. He hefted Simon's legs and set his ankles on top of his shoulders, then wrapped his arms around Simon's thighs for leverage.
“Only yours.”
Simon groaned at the first nudge of Dakota's cock head against his well-prepped hole, then hissed when the sting of entry came a moment later. There'd be no slow penetration. Simon knew that for a fact. They both needed this too badly for gentle and tender today. Right now, Simon knew Dakota could sense what he needed. The man was always so tuned in to what his body desired and instincts like that didn't disappear. In fact, the way Dakota was man-handling him, it seemed Dakota was even more dialed in to what Simon's body was telling him than he was before.
“Hold on,” Dakota commanded. “You're about to get pounded into the mattress.”
That was Simon's one and only warning. The next thing he felt was Dakota bottoming out inside of him and then stars exploded in his eyes. The swing between hot pleasure and the deep ache of Dakota taking him so hard had his skin sweating and his body shaking. He was breathless as he clung to the headboard behind him. Their eyes never lost contact, and it was so deeply spiritual and all consuming that Simon believed he was actually having an outer body experience with Dakota.
This was like nothing he'd ever felt before. It went beyond everything he thought he knew about physical love and dug further to tap into something even more intense. Simon had no knowledge or history with this type of connection. This was . . . something beautiful he and Dakota had created from the two of them. This was . . . everything and not enough, all at the same time.
This was Dakota.
Simon shouted out his orgasm first, and Dakota was right there, crashing with him seconds later. They ended up a sweaty heap in the center of the bed, wrapped up in each other, and panting while trying to catch their breaths.
“Did I hurt you?” Dakota finally asked.
“Do you even have to ask?” Simon grinned. “You heard how loud I screamed when I came.”
“I felt how hard you came from the inside,” Dakota added. “You made me shoot because of it.”
Dakota turned onto his side and pulled Simon to him. He finger combed the damp hair from Simon's forehead, then pressed a soft kiss there. Simon smiled warmly and closed his eyes. Now came the tenderness that would likely make him cry tears of joy from being without it for so many years. He missed this more than he wanted to admit. Dakota used his index finger to tip Simon's head back a bit to make eye contact.
“It's always been you, Simon. It didn't matter where I was or who I was with, my heart was always right here with you.”
Simon squeezed his eyes shut when the tears built and blurred his vision. Dakota's words were music to his ears, but Jesus, it hurt to hear them, too. And what happened now? Did this mean they were back together, or would Dakota soon be walking right back out of his life? Simon wouldn't survive a second break-up. He was sure of that.
“The job is yours if you still want it,” Simon said.
“Is that because we slept together?”
Simon laughed at that. “It's absolutely because of that, and I'm gonna want these special . . . perks all the time now, so you better start taking vitamins.”
Dakota put Simon onto his back and pinned his wrists above his head. Their bodies were mashed together from their chests down to their knees and Simon groaned at the contact. The expression on Dakota's face was full of intent and something else. Was it fear?
“I still fucking love you,” Dakota finally whispered. “You know that, right?”
Simon rolled his hips up into Dakota. “You're the only one I've ever loved,” Simon replied. “That's not going to go away.”
Dakota dropped his forehead down to Simon's and inhaled deeply. “Jesus, Simon. Where do we go from here?” he asked. “I still want the same things with you as I did before. I don't want to hide what we have. This is too powerful. Don't you see that now?”
Simon's fingers danced over Dakota's back muscles and settled on his ass. “I want this to be real. I want us to be real. And I know what I have to do to make that happen.”
Dakota nodded. He licked his lips, then kissed Simon's mouth. “I want that, too, and I'll do whatever I can to make it work.”
Simon opened for another heated kiss from Dakota. “Stay with me tonight,” he said in a breathy tone.
“I just happen to have a backpack filled with clean clothes out in the Jeep.”
“You're a very smart man,” Simon stated. “We'll be leaving on tour soon, so you're going to need them.”
Chapter Eleven
Simon stood up after the final encore of the sold-out show from where he sat behind his drum kit. In front of him, Ben summoned him out to the center stage to take a bow in front of their very appreciative audience, but movement in the shadows at the side of the stage grabbed his attention before he could leave his platform. He tracked the figure for a second and watched as he stepped slightly beneath the dim, overhead lighting behind the curtains. He'd know that body anywhere, he'd licked and tasted every inch of flesh on the man's body, knew his moods and expressions, too. He could recognize his scent in a crowded room if he had to, and after their conversation from the other night, he even knew what was in the man's heart.
His strong and sexy Dakota. He was the only man who'd ever owned him–completely, right down to his very soul. Dakota was the one who had showed him how to live and had given him a purpose to push forward when things became so fucking crazy. He was also the only person who had managed to steal Simon's heart and then took it with him when he walked out of his life a few years later.
Dakota surely represented the brightest and shiniest parts of his life, but he was also the mirror to the darkest and most bleakest days, too. Because after Dakota walked away, Simon found addiction to fill the void he left behind. It was the only way he could find enough of an escape to make it work–and it did work–until it no longer worked at all.
Not everyone got a second chance, and this new thing he'd started up with Dakota when he'd had to hire a new drum tech for the tour, felt like the greatest gift of all. Having Dakota walk back into his life when he did, was like his life coming full circle, and it was something he simply couldn't ignore. He was young and stupid the first time when he let Dakota leave without a fight. He wouldn't let that happen again, not without a serious attempt to keep him in his life. Nope, this time Simon was ready to face the challenges that having a real relationship with Dakota would present. He owed it to Dakota, and for fuck's sake, he owed it to himself to make this work. After the hell they'd been through and the years apart they'd already wasted, they deserved this fresh start, and that new chapter began right the fuck now.
Dakota gave Simon a subtle nod of his head, which he took with him as he stepped down off of his drum platform–the very platform that Dakota had put his stamp on by designing and building
to Simon's particular drumming needs. Dakota had blown into his life again with the force of a hurricane, and his presence was everywhere he looked and as essential as the air he dragged into his lungs to live.
The cheers from the audience rose several decibels when they noticed Simon was approaching his brother at center stage. Ben reached for Simon's hand when he was close enough and pulled him the rest of the way to his side. Then together as a band they lifted their arms above their heads and bent forward at the waist in a bow to say thank you to the screaming crowd.
Simon didn't need to see it to know that Dakota was watching him. He could feel the heat of his eyes on his backside like fingertips caressing his skin, and knowing he was waiting backstage gave him a rush like no other. Yes, tonight was the beginning of something really great: both on a professional level with his band on this reunion tour of sorts, and more importantly, on a personal level.
They'd been on the road doing shows for about a week now, and after this show, Simon was determined to come out of the shadows and be his true self. From here on out, he'd live an honest life in the open. No more sneaking around and hiding who he really was from those around him. And if Dakota still had the desire to do the same and was able to accept all the baggage that came along with him, then Simon's life out in the open would include Dakota by his side. Every day. And every beautiful night. Simon was finally ready to take the next big step.
Simon's eyes bounced back to his brother's gleeful face as he soaked in the admiration pouring from the sea of chanting people spread out before them. Being back on stage together like this was long overdue, and damn, it felt good. But what would ratchet this emotion up even more would be to have the freedom to go backstage after the high of a show like this and embrace Dakota in the same loving way in which Ben would embrace his wife, Sydney. That's what Simon truly wanted, and it all began with a conversation with the man standing to his left.
I can do this, he thought. His eyes were still glued to his brother's profile while his personal pep talk continued to run on a loop inside his head. Ben began to pull out of the hold he had on Simon's hand when Simon tugged him back. It was time to get the next chapter of his life started. When their eyes met, Simon said, “I need to talk to you before you take off for the night.”