by Violet Duke
Jilly’s little legs flutter-kicked under the blanket as she giggled with delight. “I got you! I got you!” she sang out between laughing screeches when Brian got his tickle-monster claws up and started faking left and going right.
“Ah, so this is where all the cackling is coming from,” teased Nurse Liv as she entered the room to do a routine check and update Jilly’s charts. “Sorry to break up the party, but I’ve got to get this little girl ready for her PT session.”
Brian got out of her way and joined Tessa by the activity shelf to help clean up.
“Oh! I almost forgot,” Jilly bubbled from across the room. “I’m gonna get to go in the pool again today.”
“Yep.” Liv got a comb and started braiding Jilly’s hair. “According to your physical therapist, you’re getting to be quite the little mermaid, sweetie.”
“I might even be able to go in with just the floaties at the next pool party.” Jilly did a little wiggly dance and then called out around Liv, “I asked my mommy if she could get grown-up floaties for you, Tessa. That way you can come in the water too this time.”
Brian turned a questioning gaze her way as Jilly asked Liv what sort of game booths the nurses would be doing at this next party.
“Floaties?” he asked quietly, but not at all meanly.
Tessa responded with a shrugging smile. “I never got the chance to learn how to swim.”
His mouth turned down at the corners as empathy warmed his gaze, and she just knew he was about to say something undoubtedly sweet…so she broke the connection and cut him off at the pass. “So how are things going with Skylar? She hasn’t skyped me since last week but she sounded pretty upbeat when she did.”
“She’s been doing a lot better, actually,” he replied, looking thrown by the conversational one-eighty, though he covered it up well. “Those visits you recommended have really helped. She’s been flat-out inspired by those kids and she’s starting to get passionate about a lot of the projects. Just yesterday, she asked if there were things she could do to help out.”
“That’s fantastic.” Tessa felt herself smiling her first real smile of the day. “I’m glad.”
He took a step closer and his eyes ran over her face slowly, as if cherishing each detail. “I’ve missed you so much, Tessa. Could we just—”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my having HD sooner,” she blurted out quietly, lowering her voice so Liv and Jilly couldn’t overhear. “It’s not exactly something I advertise…but I should’ve told you. Before we…”
What? Had sex?
Became more than flinger and flingee?
He sighed raggedly. “Honestly, I understand why you didn’t, but I really wish you would’ve, sweetheart. You don’t always have to take on the weight of the world alone you know.”
Oh yes, she did.
“You may not have had the support system you needed then, but you have it now.” He reached for her hand. “Please, let’s talk about this.”
No. She couldn’t.
She couldn’t allow him to be that guy. The one who could very easily become everything she’s never dreamed possible for her life. The one who would be and do all that and more, even though he’s already gone through this once before.
She simply couldn’t allow it.
Because he was already the man she loved so much, she was willing to walk away.
Backing up a step, she tried to put it all into words, “Brian, I just don’t think—”
Liv’s voice interrupted her thoughts, “Okay, Jilly, you can visit with Tessa and Brian for another ten minutes and then I’ll be back to get you changed, you hear?”
When she saw Liv’s crystalline gaze slide covertly over to Brian again while Jilly called him over to show him the recent swim strokes she’d learned, Tessa felt a knife blade of jealousy slash through her. Followed by a harsh dose of reality.
That’s the kind of woman who’d be perfect for Brian.
Watching as Liv headed back over to the computer at the nurse’s station, Tessa cataloged all the stark differences between them. Though they were the same age, Liv was chic, classy, and she always had it together. Tessa was none of these things.
In the looks department, ironically, Liv was a pretty remarkable cross between Beth and Abby. Meanwhile, Tessa, looked like a cross between a modern hippy and an urban gypsy. Proudly, but still.
Glancing up at her reflection on the wall opposite her, Tessa noted all the contrasts like a glaring pro and con list. With her candy apple red-tipped hair this week, and her Popeye the Sailor Man shirt, she was no match for Liv.
Echoes of her conversation with her mom reverberated in her brain. He deserves better.
Yep, Liv would most definitely be that ‘better.’
Tessa came to a decision then, her feet already carrying her across the room before she lost her nerve…or her lunch.
“Brian, you stay. I need to get to a meeting.” She blew Jilly a giant kiss. “See you in a few days, Jilly-bean. I’ll bring a new video game for us next time, okay?”
Avoiding Brian’s intense gaze, Tessa gave him a quick, friendly wave as well and left the room. As she headed to the nurse’s station, she felt a thousand needles piercing her heart with each step she took. Which was nothing compared to the almost unbearable nausea that hit her when she started chatting up Liv…about Brian.
And still, when she left shortly after and heard Liv call out to Brian as he was leaving Jilly’s room, somehow, Tessa found the strength to keep on walking.
OF ALL THE INFURIATING…
Tessa had actually set him up on a date with another woman.
Unbelievable.
Instead of letting him prove to her that her having the HD gene wouldn’t affect their relationship, she’d gone and convinced Nurse Liv to ask him out.
It didn’t matter that he knew she was trying to do what she thought was best for him.
He was still pissed.
Because if she’d just pick up her damn phone and call him, she’d know that her conclusions on the situation were just plain wrong. The fact that he’d gone through all this once before with Beth wasn’t sending him screaming in the other direction from Tessa. Maybe some would run, but not him. He’d never go back and erase his time with Beth and Skylar, regardless of how difficult the latter half of their marriage had been. Absolutely not. Everyone reduced his marriage to Beth to her last years, her toughest ones, but he chose to remember all the others. None of the horrible challenges her disease put them both through could or would ever negate the good of their shared life together.
The same would hold true with Tessa. Of that, he had no doubt. It didn’t matter if her HD symptoms started tomorrow; he wouldn’t choose not to be with her for that reason. Never. Moreover, the thought of Tessa going through this without him one day made him…rabid. Alpha protectiveness was a mild description of what feelings that inspired.
Now, if Brian weren’t having the world’s most awkward conversation with Liv at the moment, it was very likely he’d be chucking his brilliant let-Tessa-come-to-him plan in lieu of heading to Tessa’s apartment right now and banging down the door so he could—
What? He sighed. What could he do? Tell her that her feelings were unwarranted, and her methods of dealing with it just plain crazy?
That wouldn’t help his cause one bit.
He just couldn’t believe that this was Tessa’s big solution. To set him up with Liv—who was amazingly still talking. He smiled at her, and she smiled back, ecstatic. Okay, so she was pretty and very nice—reminded him a bit of Beth, in fact. Was that what it was? He tried to see her from Tessa’s eyes, to see whatever it was that she thought was better for him than she’d ever be. Liv was beautiful, yes. Seemingly uncomplicated, so far. And…normal.
After spending all this time with Tessa, he wasn’t even sure what normal was anymore, or if that was what he wanted. Used to be. But now...
He knew what he had to do.
Preparing himself
to head into completely unchartered territory, he put his hand on Liv’s shoulder to put an end to her nervous rambling and asked, “Do you want to get out here? Maybe grab a bite at a quiet restaurant where we can talk?”
Liv smiled—not a rainbow-eyed smile—but a sweet, pretty smile nonetheless.
“I’d like that.”
Here goes nothing.
IT WAS THREE WEEKS to the day. Three weeks since Tessa had seen Brian last. Three weeks since she’d overheard Liv gush to her nurse friends out in the hall about how happy she was to have met such a great guy.
Three weeks since Tessa had laughed.
Because every minute of those three weeks had hurt.
Tessa had avoided Liv like the plague since the day she’d set her up with Brian. It didn’t take a genius to see that she’d been right about that particular match. Liv was a great woman, a wonderful nurse to Jilly, and a sweet person all around. All personal feelings aside, Tessa really was genuinely happy for her. And for Brian as well. He was an incredible man, an amazing father to Skylar, and a real-deal good guy who deserved the best. In her heart of hearts, she knew she’d done right by him by cutting things off like her mom had suggested.
But still, it hurt.
And though she’d been able to plaster a smile on her face the few times she had run into Connor or Abby, or during her weekly skype chats with Skylar, she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep up the charade around Liv. Definitely not around Brian, either.
Which was why they were now going on three weeks to the day of her avoiding them both.
And still, it hurt.
“Hey Tessa!”
Damn it, damn it, damn it. Tessa dug deep and slapped the best impression of a smile she could on her face before she turned around. “Hey Liv. How’s everything going?”
Liv lit up like a Christmas tree. “So incredible. The past few weeks have been…oh my gosh, I can’t even describe it.”
Oh good, please don’t.
“I’ve never been so happy.”
“That’s wonderful, Liv. I’m glad it’s all working out so well.” She was going to have to wash that last one down with some tequila later. Because right now, it was burning a jagged hole through her stomach.
And her heart.
Even though looking at Liv in all her joyful radiance was a bit like jabbing hot toothpicks into her eyes, she still appreciated what was standing there before her.
Love.
Lucky girl.
Liv gripped her arm. What do you know, hot toothpicks on skin hurt like a bitch too. “So Tessa, I really wanted to do something for you as a thank you. I mean, if it weren’t for what you did, I wouldn’t have ended up meeting the man of my dreams.”
Okay, let’s not get carried away. It was only three weeks to the day.
“My mom just loves him; and I absolutely adore his mother,” continued Liv, practically floating down the hall as they talked.
Well, hell. Tessa had met Brian’s mother as well, but that was only via Connor. But then again, why would Brian have introduced the girl he was having a casual fling with to his mother?
He wouldn’t. Those kind of introductions were reserved for…
Tessa stopped that train of thought before it crashed into the conclusion of what his introducing Liv to his mother meant.
Geez, was she still talking?
“…And we’re going away for a week-long vacation next month.”
Ouch. Now that one really hurt. Time to jump off this sinking ship. “Hey, sorry Liv, but I really have to run. We’ll catch up more some other time, okay?”
“Wait, don’t go yet. I actually wanted to know if you were free tomorrow for lunch. There’s going to be a concert at Ocotillos.”
“Oh no, that’s okay. I’m not much of a dancer.”
“Well then just go to have lunch. You have to. You did this amazing thing by setting me up with someone you thought was perfect for me. Now let me repay the favor. I have a good friend who I think is perfect for you.”
“What? Oh no, that’s really not necessary. Thank you, but I’m not into blind dates.”
“I’m not going to take no for an answer, Tessa. You’re beautiful, and awesome. You deserve to be with a great guy. Besides, it’s just one innocent meal.” Liv crossed her arms and gave her the ‘nurse’ look that she used on prickly patients.
Damn, the woman was persistent. “Errr…I guess if it’s just lunch.”
“Great! We’ll meet you at eleven tomorrow outside of Ocotillos.”
“Wait, we?”
“Yes! It’s a double date. It’ll be fun!”
“But—”
“Oh! My break is over. Gotta run. See you tomorrow!”
And then she was off.
Tessa fell back against the wall and rapped the back of her head against it, once, twice, and then a third time just because.
A double date with Mr. and Mrs. Perfect.
This was going to be an absolute nightmare.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“HEY TESSA. You look great. How’ve you been?”
Awful, miserable, heartbroken. “Good,” she lied with the smile she’d practiced in front of the mirror for the last hour. “You look good too, Brian. Where’s Liv?”
“She’s inside getting a drink. I told her I’d stay out here and wait for you.”
Always the nice guy.
“Thanks. You want to head in?”
Tessa almost fell flat on her face when she felt Brian’s hand ghost across her back.
“You okay, sweetheart?”
The endearment was a knife to her gut. “I’m fine. Where’d you say Liv was?” The faster she could get through this lunch, the better.
“The concert’s on the rooftop; we have a table on the side opposite the dance floor.”
Tessa knew the way, so she hotwheeled it over to the stairwell, leaving Brian in her dust. The last thing she needed was him coming up from behind her on the stairwell.
When she got to the roof deck, she looked around.
“Our table’s over in the corner,” came Brian’s voice, right next to her ear.
Dammit. She couldn’t stop the shiver that ran through her system.
How long would his voice have this effect on her?
Forever, probably.
Brian pointed over to a booth with a reserved tag on it, and waited for her to slide in…before he slid in right after her, effectively trapping her in there.
This day just kept getting better and better.
Tessa scanned the crowd, finally seeing Liv on the dance floor, dancing with a pretty handsome guy.
“So is that my date?” she asked, acutely aware of how close Brian was sitting to her.
“What?” he asked in her ear.
Why in the world was the music so loud in this place?
“I asked if that guy Liv’s dancing with is my date?”
“No,” his voice rumbled across her jawline. “That’s her date.”
Momentarily drunk off the feel of his lips skimming across her cheek, it took a while for his words to register.
Even then, it didn’t make a lick of sense.
When she just stared at him, mouth agape with confusion, he smiled. “I think this is the first time I’ve managed to give you back one of your token nonsensical answers.”
He moved in closer and said, “Tell me the truth, please. Have you missed me as much as I’ve missed you, sweetheart?”
Suddenly, the music wasn’t too loud anymore.
His words were ringing through clear as a bell, its only competition being the pounding of her heart.
“Yes,” she replied truthfully.
His smile just about knocked her into tomorrow. “Good.” He brushed a soft kiss against her lips, before taking her hand in his. “Then come on, I’ll introduce you to Liv’s date so we can get started on ours.”
HE COULDN’T get her out of the restaurant fast enough.
After spending exactly one minute making intr
oductory small talk with Liv and his date, Brian had ushered Tessa out of Ocotillos and into his SUV, promising simply that he’d drive her back later to get her car.
Then he took the long way around the car to get himself under control.
Three goddamn weeks since he’d seen her last. Three goddamn weeks since she gave up on them and tried to fix him up with someone else. Three goddamn weeks since he’d held the woman he was in love with in his arms.
And every second since had hurt like hell.
He’d been up front with Liv from the very beginning. They’d had a nice dinner, during which, he’d poured his heart out about Tessa, and Liv had poured her heart out about the man she’d been hopelessly in love with for two years.
Her problem was about a thousand times easier.
So, they’d tackled hers first. One call and she’d had herself a date—seriously, why did some women have to make the whole thing so difficult? Guys were simple beings, really. Sometimes too simple. The complicated workings of the female mind involving subtle signals over the course of two years was, nine times out of ten, way too difficult for the average guy’s brain to comprehend. A call asking him out, however. Ding-ding-ding. Simple.
That’s when they moved on to Brian’s problem.
A much bigger problem with a far more complex female mind, the likes of which, he’d been lost without a compass and a map trying to figure out. So he’d called a full deployment, gathering Connor, Abby, Skylar, his mother, and Liv together to devise a plan.
He’d hated their plan from the start.
They’d told him to give her time to sort through her feelings—two to three weeks, minimum—and he’d nearly walked out right then, with every intention of just stomping over to Tessa’s apartment and throwing her over his shoulder to drag her back to his cave.
But they’d worn him down, and he spent the next three weeks miserable as all hell.
At least it looked like it’d been worth it.
TESSA WAS STILL gaping at him after he finished explaining the whole thing.
“So the man that Liv is all gaga over is the guy she was just with today.”