by Violet Duke
“But every single year, Willow remembered. Even with everything she was going through, even if she was in the ICU, she’d always, always remember and wish me a happy birthday.”
“The year her memory started going, she’d taken my phone and told me to leave it with her for the day. I figured she was going to bedazzle it or something so I didn’t anything of it. In fact, when I found it the next day on her nightstand looking exactly the same, I’d forgotten that she’d wanted it for some reason. I didn’t remember until I got the ping on my calendar the next year. Willow’s dementia had fully set in by then so she hadn’t remembered it was my birthday, and I was prepared for that. But when I got that ping on my phone, I started bawling like a baby.”
Tessa looked up at him, a trembling smile peeking through her tears. “Willow had left me a calendar note to wish me a happy birthday for the following year, knowing her disease would make her forget.”
“Not just that, but she’d had a little note as well on the calendar agenda. For years, Willow and I used to fantasize about dream getaways that we’d take together. We would imagine that there would be some miraculous cure for Huntington’s and she’d be all better so we could travel the world. I’d borrow books from the library, we’d check out specials on TV and the internet—anything to learn about these far-off places.” Tessa shook her head remembering something only she could see. “So on that calendar note, she listed Greece as the destination of choice and eating our way through it as the getaway goal we’d discussed. And just like that, it was like she was right there with me again, dreaming with me.”
She slid her fingers down the phone. “She input a calendar note for my birthday for every year since then. With her fingers having been affected, similar to Jilly’s, it must have taken Willow the entire day to input all of those words.”
“Nine years now, and the calendar pings haven’t stopped. We’ve traveled the world together via our dreams in those nine years—boating around New Zealand, going to a hot spring in Japan… I don’t actually know how many years the phone has in the calendar—never wanted to look and ruin the surprise—but I’m positive she went until she couldn’t go any more. Even after the phone stopped working five years ago, the calendar still functioned. So I bought dozens of new batteries and I’ve always kept the phone stored safe until I could take it out on my birthday.”
Her voice crumbled. “Willow was alive for one day every year in this phone. And it was just for me. My little birthday present. The only one I’d get that year, from the only person who’s ever remembered my birthday for the last nine years.”
“This Pismo Beach trip…it was the first vacation trip of my life and I wanted her to share it with me. So I brought the phone with me. To keep her close on our first real getaway adventure. I even thought about putting my own calendar note as a new memory. The first new memory we’d have together. ATV racing in Pismo beach.” She buried her face against his chest and wept. “It was stupid.”
Brian held her tight. “No, honey. It wasn’t. It was beautiful. She would’ve loved it. For nine years, she’s taken you around the world. And today, you got to take her.”
“But now the phone is broken for good,” she cried out in agony. “I wasn’t careful and now I won’t ever have any more notes for any more birthdays. When those calendar pings would come in, I’d be able to see her face crystal clear in my mind, and hear her voice as if she was sitting right next to me. It’s like I had her back. Even if for that one short day.”
Claws of pain and sympathy squeezed over his throat.
“Now she’s finally gone. And even though I’ve had no family for more years than I can remember, this is the first time, I feel like I’m truly, completely alone.”
He just held her and let her cry until no more tears would come. Smoothing her hair back, he asked gently, “Tessa, what can I do?”
“Can you just take me back to my apartment please?”
“Anything but that, honey. I don’t want to leave you alone by yourself.”
“Please, Brian. I know you think I’m so strong but I’m not always. Not now. Not over this. I just want to go to bed.”
She looked like she was hanging on by a thin thread so he didn’t push.
“Okay, sweetheart, let me just make a quick call.”
Twenty minutes later, he was tucking Tessa into bed, holding her as she continued to cry silently. He held her in her bed until she fell asleep.
He’d asked Abby to watch Skylar for the night so he could stay with Tessa. That was the only way he was going to let her stay here.
But if it were up to him, they wouldn’t be here at all.
Walking around her apartment, he noted again how little she had to make it a home. And that thought brought him right back to Tessa’s mother. God, his stomach felt like it was being sent through a meat grinder every time he thought about what Tessa’s mother had forced upon her when she’d been even younger than Skylar was now, how she’d treated Tessa, inadvertently or not, weak and hurting though her mother must have been.
The fact that Tessa turned into the strong, amazing woman that she is just made him all the more impressed with her, in awe of her.
That much more in love with her.
Bringing her back here had been tough. She didn’t belong here, not anymore. She deserved a home. She deserved a family so she didn’t feel like she was alone in the world.
And more and more, he wanted that home to be one they shared together.
TESSA WAS BEAT. It’d been a grueling week, and one that she hadn’t been ready to face after her meltdown last weekend. She’d gotten three grant proposals rejected, she’d discovered that one of her freelancers had submitted an ‘accidentally’ plagiarized piece, and to add insult to injury, she’d caught a nasty bug that had made the entire week move even slower. All she wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for a day. But she’d promised Skylar she’d come to the picnic at their house this weekend.
After parking in the driveway behind Connor’s Charger, Tessa went around to the side gate to head out into the backyard. The sizzle of the grill and a chorus of chatter greeted her like a warm summer wave.
“Ooh, ooh, she’s here!” Skylar jumped up to give her a runaway train hug. “Okay, now we can officially start the picnic!”
Brian came over and slid his arm around. “Skylar apparently has an announcement she wants to make before we start eating. And she didn’t want to start until you got here—she said she wanted her whole family to hear it.”
Family. Tessa looked around at the sea of happy faces. Brian and Skylar, Skylar’s grandparents, Connor and Abby, Becky and her parents and siblings.
Yes, this was definitely a family. One that Tessa would be honored to be a part of, in whatever capacity.
Okay kiddo, you’re up,” called out Brian.
“Hi everyone!” Skylar waved. “Okay, I know everyone’s been really worried about me so I wanted to make an announcement. For now, I’ve decided not to do the genetic testing. For the last couple of weeks, I got to talk with so many kids and adults who are living with HD.” A small smile was directed Tessa’s way. “All of them were out there living, dreaming, and fighting. And they’re great. But here I am, spending so much time thinking about what might happen IF I have the HD gene. That’s why I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to focus on living, and being a kid. It doesn’t make sense to waste a whole lifetime being afraid of my disease instead of being happy with my life. These kids I met can’t have a normal childhood but I can. So, I don’t think it’s fair to them or myself if I didn’t live my life to the fullest, without worrying about the HD gene until I have to.”
Tessa’s hand flew to her chest. For her, it had never been about whether Skylar took the test, not really, but rather, whether or not Skylar came to the decision on her own..
“I still do really want to know,” continued Skylar, “and I may of course change my mind. But right now, I want to live my life, do what all these JHD
kids have told me they wish they could get back and do. I’m not going to waste my time. I want to do the opposite—help more and get involved.”
“Also, I really, really want to fall in love. I have all of you here to show me how much I’d miss out on if I didn’t—driving my dad crazy when I start dating, for one.”
Brian groaned, while everyone else laughed. But even so, you could see the smile on his face over Skylar making plans like this for once.
“So anyway, that’s all. Just wanted to share my decision with all of you because you’re all why my life is so happy to begin with. Okay, let’s eat!”
A burst of applause sounded around the yard and Tessa just looked around at it all.
Brian wrapped his arms around her middle. “You did this.”
“No. She did it herself. That is one amazing little girl you have there.”
BRIAN LOOKED OVER at his animated daughter, watched as she walked around to greet everyone. This was the happiest he’d seen her in months.
And for the first time in a long while, he felt like he could breathe again.
Out of the corner of his eye, he finally noticed that Tessa had a big casserole skillet and a tiny little cooler on the ground beside her so he quickly moved to grab it. “I’ll go put these on the table for you.” He peeled back the foil and stared down at it. “What is it?” It looked like a cinnamon rolls, but he swore he smelled garlic.
Tessa smiled. “It’s one of my specialties. Sweet Garlic French Toast Roll with Shiso Ice Cream.”
A slow, cricket-friendly silence unrolled across the yard.
“Garlic what with what kind of ice cream?” asked Skylar, peering down at the dish in something akin to fear.
“I make a sweet roll dough similar to a cinnamon roll but instead of cinnamon, I use ground garlic with the sugar and butter. Then I roll it, bake it, and let it sit in a French toast batter,” explained Tessa. “After that, I transfer the whole thing into a square skillet and bake it again…so it almost comes out like a bread pudding on the bottom half. Dust it with powdered sugar and a bit of garlic powder. Then I usually serve it with my shiso ice cream drizzled with honey and caramelized condensed milk.” When everyone continued to stare at her, she chuckled and reassured them, “It’s good, I promise.”
“Okay, I have to try that,” said Abby. “Bring it here.”
The skillet was swooped out of hands by Skylar, and the small cooler at Tessa’s feet was liberated from her as well, this time by Becky.
“But…it’s dessert,” protested Tessa. She looked at Brian. “I swear, it’s a sweet dish, not a savory one. It’s not like garlic bread.”
He chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry, they get that. With Becky here, the sugar twins become three-prong-strong as the sugar triplets. They can eat dessert before, during, and after meals.”
After everyone silently watched Abby put a huge forkful of the roll, loaded with ice cream and the gooey caramel and honey, in her mouth…and groan in culinary bliss, they all rushed forward to grab bowls and heaped on servings as well.
Tessa stood looking around at the table, blinking slowly in wonder.
“You okay, sweetheart?”
“I never had this before,” she whispered quietly.
Brian smiled. “What a rabid clan of folks fighting for the last piece of food?”
She laughed and shook her head. “A family.” Gazing at Skylar, she added quietly, “Skylar is so lucky to have a family like this. HD gene or not, she’s going to be just fine.”
He wrapped his arms around her, wanting to ask her then and there if she wanted a lifetime membership to join their crazy family…when suddenly, they heard an ear-splitting scream from Skylar. They both spun around and saw Abby clap her hand over her mouth.
Tessa rushed forward. “Ohmigod, is something wrong with the dessert?” She was already grabbing the paper towel roll so Abby could spit it out.
“No, no,” cried out Skylar, jumping up and down as she turned to Abby and nodded vigorously. “Tell them.”
“Honey,” said Abby quietly, “Today was your big announcement day.”
Skylar rolled her eyes. “OMG, if you won’t tell them, I will!”
“Tell us what?” broke in Brian, his expression caught between concern and confusion.
Abby sighed, even though her eyes were dancing with excitement. “Skylar overheard me saying to Connor that I’m probably going to be asking him to haul Tessa over here to make this for me when I have my 3 am pregnancy cravings.”
Stunned, Brian’s head whipped between Connor and Abby. “Pregnancy?”
Connor nodded, his expression that of pure proud-papa joy.
Brian rushed over to scoop Abby up in a huge python hug. “Congratulations you two!”
With a quick look of concern, Connor stepped forward, “Careful, man.”
Plopping a kiss on Abby’s forehead before turning to his brother and gathering him up in a big bro-hug. “Dude, it’s not like I can shake the baby out of her.”
“He’s been like this for months,” complained Abby, with an adoring head tilt in Connor’s direction.
“Months?” bellowed Brian. “How far along are you?”
“About four and a half months.”
Looking over at his brother, Brian asked quietly, “So is everything…”
“Great so far,” he confirmed. “The baby is growing like crazy, Abby’s HCG levels and everything have been great so her doctor is optimistic so far about the viability. There’s so much more technology available now that wasn’t available when Abby was a teen so we’re doing everything we can to monitor her and the baby.”
“Connor’s been treating me like I’m made out of glass the entire time. I can’t even lift a finger without him having a fit.”
Brian gave him a horrified expression. “Bad idea, man. I made that mistake once when she got the flu in college. It was diva city for the next month,” he lied.
“Connor, honey. Can you come over and lift my middle finger for me please?” asked Abby prettily.
Brian burst out laughing and gave the happy parents-to-be another round of hugs.
It didn’t register until a short while later that the SilverHawks theme song had been ringing in the air during the loud banter fest that followed.
And that Tessa was no longer in the yard with them.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CONNOR WINCED as he looked out his office door and saw Brian storming down the hallway. He immediately hit his intercom button. “It’s fine, Laura, you can let him in.”
Brian barged into Connor’s office and slammed his hands down on his desk. “Where the hell is she?”
“For the last time, I still don’t know, man. Honest to God.”
“Why aren’t you worried? If it were Abby that were missing, you’d have had Jay and your firm’s entire investigative team on it from the second you noticed her gone.”
True.
“But Brian, Tessa isn’t missing. She’s been contacting you. Hell, she’s been in contact with all of us.”
“She hasn’t been at her apartment in days!” Brian roared. “It makes no friggin’ sense. She’s getting all her work done online but no one knows where she’s staying. And the only thing she keeps telling everyone, me included, is that she needs a little time to take care of a few important things. I swear to God, that woman is a walking flight risk. When I find her, I’m going to chain her to my damn bed for good.”
Holy shit. This was not the calm, easygoing brother he’s known all his life. “What the hell has gotten into you?”
“She has! But I can’t say the reverse is true. The woman refuses to let me in, to let me help her.”
“Brian, maybe she doesn’t need your help.”
Suddenly, the anger just fizzled right out of Brian like hot air out of a balloon. “Then what good am I to her?”
“What?”
“Beth and Abby, they always needed me. Tessa just plain doesn’t. She’s proven it to me time and
time again. She’s been doing everything on her own for more years than I’ve even been responsible enough to take care of myself. She’s survived more loss than I have, overcome more hardships, and achieved more feats—all without a family, without a home, without even friends, really. So what good am I to her? I may as well just be a casual fling for all the effect I have on her life.”
Connor sighed. The nonsensical ramblings of a man blinded by a woman were always hard to hear. “Do you love her?”
“I love her past sanity. It defies reason or caution, it trumps…everything. She thinks, and I know you do a little bit too, Connor, that she’s everything I should avoid. Because she HD. Because of my past and her future. But she’s everything I can’t live without. Everything I refuse to live without.”
Surprised, or stunned, more like, Connor sat there and studied his brother’s fierce expression. Brian was willing to go into battle, hell, he was willing to wage a war if need be.
For Tessa.
“Well then…go get her, man.”
“I HAVE a surprise for you!” cried Jilly, clapping excitedly.
Grinning, Tessa went over to sit next to Jilly’s bed. Since her flight back had been delayed, she’d only had a quick minute to shower off the travel grime before booking it over to make sure she didn’t miss her visit with Jilly. “Did you draw me another picture in the circus? Because I think I like the one when I’m the lion tamer the best.”
“Nope! It’s this!” Jilly used her thumb to slide open her nightstand drawer.
Tessa peered inside. It looked like a little cosmetic compact, except instead of a skin powder that looked like it would belong on a human, it was bright, neon green.