by Alexis James
I pause to take a gulp of my beer and test the temperature of the room. Mia glances between the two of us, gently patting her husband’s knee and occasionally offering me an encouraging smile. Cruz, on the other hand, remains stoic, glaring out the window and ignoring both of us.
In the past I’ve played it relatively close to the vest with my brother. Sharing confidences is something he’s never been particularly good at either, so I shied away from telling him my deepest, darkest thoughts and feelings. But I consider how he’s changed since meeting and falling in love with Mia, and how he’s let go of some of the ghosts from his past. He a different man now than the one he was a few years ago; someone with a clear understanding of how real love can change your entire life and your entire way of thinking.
With that thought in mind, I say softly, “She’s different, Cruz. She’s not like the other chicks I’ve dated. She’s special.”
He finally looks right at me, growling, “Don’t you dare say you’re falling in love with her. You don’t know the first thing about it.”
Mia’s eyes widen as she watches my reaction, but she wisely remains silent. The need to yell or scream hits hard, but I’m not about to feed into his expectations. I fully understand that I’m a love ’em and leave ’em type of guy, but this outright distrust he has toward me is nothing at all like what I’ve experienced in the past.
“Maybe not. Maybe I have no clue what real love feels like. But I do understand what I feel for her. What I have felt since the moment I first laid eyes on her. I’ve felt it even though I’ve gone through the motions and kept up my dating habits. I’ve felt it even though she’s done nothing to lead me on or give me any reason to believe we’d ever be anything more than just coworkers and friends.” Tearing my hands through my hair, I force my eyes to his. “When I look at her I see a future. I see someone I want to wake up next to every day. Someone I can’t spend enough time with. I see a woman who will continue to keep me guessing for years to come. Someone who will challenge me in every single way.”
Mia lets out a muted “aww,” but her husband is less than convinced. “And the child?”
“She’s not a child. She’s fifteen.”
He shakes his head dismissively. “You believe you’d be good father material? This from the man who hasn’t ever been able to commit to more than a few weeks with any one person.”
Hurt spirals in the center of my chest. “Sure, I have a shitty track record, but you did too, or have you forgotten?” While I know nothing about his personal life prior to meeting Mia, I do know that he’s had a reputation for being a coldhearted son of a bitch, treating everyone as if they’re nothing more than an annoyance. “Jesus, man, people do change. You have so why should I be any different?” Rising, I tip back the beer and drain it fully. “When the fuck did you become so damn judgmental and self-righteous?”
The iciness I’ve grown used to over the years slowly starts to fade and moments later before me stands a man with a deeply concerned and troubled expression. “Christ, Roman, I don’t want you to get hurt. Can’t you see that? If she is indeed the only woman you’ve ever really loved, then if you’re anything like me you’re invested, body and soul.” I nod in agreement. “And what about the girl? You’ve developed a relationship with her, but are you willing to be her stepfather and take on the responsibility of a child full time?”
“I have no idea. I sure hope so, but at the rate this is moving she’ll be off to college before I even need to be concerned with it.”
Mia grins. “She’s playing hard to get, is she?”
“Nah, not really. Just … hesitant. Very hesitant. And worried that she’s going to lose her job by dating me.”
Cruz frowns. “She’s not going to lose her job. Jesus … am I really that bad?” Mia and I both instantly respond with a loud, resounding yes. He chuckles and wanders into the kitchen, returning with more beers for him and me and a glass of juice for his wife. Once we’ve all settled back down on the couch, he asks, “So you asked her to come next weekend?”
“Yes I did. Emmy too.”
“Is she aware we’ll all be there, the entire family?”
I shrug. “I think so. But I’ll make sure to give her the rundown before we get there.”
“Mama is gonna love this,” he replies with a smile. “I expect you and Sabrina to keep things professional at work.”
With a chuckle, I remark, “Oh, you mean like you and Mia do, disappearing into your office for hours on end.”
Her face flames bright red, reminding me of a certain other beautiful woman, but Cruz is quick to counter. “My company. My rules. And apologize to Mia.”
Annoying as it is, I gotta say that I admire how protective he is of his woman. “I’m sorry, sweetness. Didn’t mean to offend.”
Mia laughs. “Sure you did.”
Finishing off the beer, I drop both empties off in the kitchen and murmur, “Yes, of course we’ll keep things professional.” I’m not about to tell either of them that only a short while ago she was rubbing against my cock and kissing me as if her life depended on it … in her office. “I’m outta here. Thanks for everything.”
I share a hug with Mia while Cruz walks me to the door and before I can step out, he pulls me in close, whispering, “I love ya, baby brother. Don’t ever forget that.”
Shoving down the shock at hearing him express affection toward me, I guy-slap him on the back and reply, “Yeah, man, I won’t. I love ya too.”
The phone rings just as I’m pulling out of the driveway, Marco’s name lighting up the screen. “Hey.”
“Amita and I are having cocktails. Want to join?”
Not really, but I also don’t want to go back to my apartment and fixate on how much I want to be with Sabrina. “Yeah, I’m just leaving Cruz’s. Be there soon.” He rattles off the name of this place we like to go by the beach and a short while later, I’m strolling into the bar and settling in at their table overlooking the beach.
“Whatcha doin’ out in Biscayne?” Marco asks, looping his arm around Amita’s shoulders.
“Had to talk with Cruz about Sabrina.”
They exchange a glance with one another. Then my brother asks, “What’s up with you two anyway?”
“I invited her and her daughter to join us on the boat next weekend.”
“That’s huge,” Amita murmurs, sipping her mojito.
Nodding, I order something to drink and sit back with my hands across my stomach. “Cruz flipped at first, but we talked and he’s … given his blessing, I guess.”
Marco’s brows shoot up. “You guess?”
Shrugging, I glance out at the water. “Well, you know Cruz. He heard me out … then he told me to act professional at the office.”
Marco howls with laughter. “Yeah, like he and Mia behave professionally.” Amita hits him across the chest playfully. “What? It’s the truth. Those two spend so much time fucking on office time that I sometimes wonder if they even own a bed at home.”
Shaking my head, I chuckle. “Crude, man. Really crude.”
“Yeah, but you know I’m right.” He dips his hand into the basket of corn chips. “So this is serious with you two, like the real deal?”
“It is for me.”
I’m saved from further explanation when Amita’s phone rings and after a quick few words, she disconnects and gets to her feet. “Sorry, boys, I gotta run into the office for a few.” She frames Marco’s face with her hands, stating, “Behave yourself.”
“Never.” They share a kiss that’s just teetering close to an R-rating, and then she loops her bag over her shoulder and wiggles her fingers as she strolls away. Marco watches her disappear then turns to me with a wide, cocky grin. “Damn, I love that woman.”
Chuckling, I reply, “Really? What a surprise.”
We order another round of drinks just as my first one is dropped off, and when the waitress disappears again, Marco gives me a narrow-eyed look. “If Cruz really did give his blessing on
this union, how come you still seem upset?”
“Not upset, just … I have a lot to think about.” I’m completely out of my element with this woman in every single way. She’s older than me, she’s a parent, and she’s basically given her life over to raising her child. How the hell do I compete with that? How the hell do I give her the space she needs to trust me completely without scaring her to death?
“Come on, man, talk to me.”
Gulping at the margarita on the rocks, I scrub one hand over my face and exhale fully. “She’s pretty much done nothing but raise her kid since she had her. She doesn’t date at all and hasn’t since she dated Emmy’s dad.”
Marco’s eyes widen. “Are you telling me she hasn’t fucked anyone since then?”
“Christ, Marco, have some damn respect.” He rolls his eyes and waves his hand, urging me to continue. “She hasn’t been with anyone since then. And I’m a little …”
He grins. “Blue balled?”
I can see that Amita’s warning to him shot right out the door after her. “I was going to say that I’m a little nervous. That’s a lot of responsibility.”
“Better make sure you do it right, you know, give her a good amount of orgasms to make up for all the ones she’s missed over the years.”
This conversation is going nowhere fast, and while there are times I enjoy my brother’s flippant attitude toward relationships and sex, this is not one of them. “Forget it. Let’s talk about something else.”
Leaning on the table, he palms his glass and looks directly at me. “Sorry, man. I guess I don’t understand what the big deal is. Fuck the girl and be done with it.”
A few months ago I’d have been happy to do that, but everything in my life has changed—starting and ending with Sabrina. “This is not just about whether or not we sleep together. For me it might be just about sex, but for her it’s a much bigger deal. She’s got a kid for crying out loud. So when are we supposed to work our stuff in?”
He chuckles. “Hell if I know. Ask Mama.”
My eyes widen in shock. “Oh hell no.”
“Dude, you need to relax. You are way overthinking this whole thing. Just be happy, get to know her better, spend time with her and the kid. It will happen when it’s right for both of you. Until then, I’ll be happy to loan you some porn.”
Rolling my eyes, I murmur, “I have my own stash of porn, thank you very much.”
“Well you’re gonna need it.”
If this afternoon’s session in her office is any indication, I’m gonna need a lot of it, and soon. The woman spins me upside down like no one ever has but as much as I might want her, I know I have to do as I promised and let her set the pace. Until then, hopefully all this crazy shit inside my head will settle down and I’ll stop second guessing myself constantly.
My stomach rolls with excitement as Roman pulls the truck away from the curb and drives toward our destination. This entire week has been one big roller coaster of emotions: first elation over what happened between us at the office then relief when he phoned me later that night to tell me about his conversation with Cruz. The nerves settled in completely on Monday when he stopped by my office after hours to give me some details about the family excursion on the boat. Since then I’ve had this knot of fear right in the pit of my stomach. Will his parents like me or will they worry that I’m too old and I have too much baggage for their young son? Will Emmy and I be accepted with open arms or will the leftover animosity from a few months ago between Roman and Cruz remain? Roman assures me that his brothers will be welcoming and that Amita is looking forward to meeting me as well, but even at this exact moment I have my doubts.
It’s all really too much and twice now I’ve tried to back out, but he’s right there with his warm, beautiful smile reassuring me that we’re going to have fun and that it will be good for Emmy to be around a big, boisterous family. His reassurance has done little to quench the persistent worry, but I try to take my cue from him and my daughter, both of whom are very excited to spend the day out on the boat.
Emmy chatters nonstop the entire time we drive across town, right up until he cuts the engine at the curb outside of parents’ house. Then she shoots me a wide-eyed, nervous look, and I’m quickly reminded how new this is for her … for both of us.
“Come on, ladies. Let’s get a move on.”
Tote bags in hand, we scurry along after Roman, who gives me a reassuring smile before shoving the front door open and announcing, “We’re here.”
Various voices greet us from the other room as I take a quick look around the beautiful home and follow him down the hall which spills into a large kitchen. Mia is the first to greet me, coming right up and hugging me and greeting Emmy like a long-lost friend. Then she introduces us to Amita, who gives me a quick up and down and winks, telling me how happy she is to finally meet me.
We move into the living room where the three Moran brothers are circled around a tiny dark-haired woman with shocking blue-green eyes. She’s speaking to them in a flurry of Spanish, waving her hands around while they all nod obediently. But when her eyes lock on me, she instantly stops speaking and moves toward me with a bright, beautiful smile.
“Hello, my dear, you must be Sabrina.” Reaching out, she takes my hand in hers. “I’m so happy to meet you.”
“Hello, Mrs. Moran. Thank you for having us. It’s lovely to meet you.” She’s a mirror image of her two oldest sons, though I can clearly see the resemblance to Roman in her smile and dimples. It’s obvious this woman is the heart of the family; each and every person in the room hangs on her every word.
I turn toward Emmy, gesturing for her to join us. “This is my daughter, Emerson.”
Mrs. Moran pats Emmy’s hand and smiles. “Hello, child. It’s so nice to have a young person in the house again.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
While they get to know one another, I scoot toward Roman and whisper, “Well, that went better than I anticipated.”
He grins. “Told ya.”
Just then an older man enters the room, scanning the faces until he reaches mine, and slowly works his way toward where we’re standing. Roman has told me about the health scares his father has had, but you’d never know it looking at the healthy color on his face as he sidles up next to me and says hello.
“Papa, this is Sabrina and her daughter, Emmy.”
He kisses each of my cheeks, and I’m pretty sure I fall head over heels in love with the handsome man. “What a beauty you are. My son giving you any trouble?”
I shrug and dart Roman a sideways look. “Not too much. I can handle him.”
Mr. Moran slaps his son on the shoulder, stating, “Good. He needs someone like you.”
There’s a flurry of activity as we get our things together and head out to the boat. The elder Moran’s decide to remain behind at the house, but Mrs. Moran assures me that we’ll have plenty of time to get to know one another at dinner later tonight. Since I had no idea this excursion would last past a few hours in the boat, I smile and nod and thank her once again.
Emmy takes my hand as we follow the rest of the group down the dock, whispering, “Geez, Mom, everyone is so pretty.”
Snickering, I offer her a nod and peruse the men and women in front of us. I’ve been around the Moran brothers before but as always, I’m slightly stunned that three men can be related, look so alike in so many ways, yet be so differently stunning in their own way. The two women … well, it goes without saying that beautiful people choose to be with beautiful people. Though Mia and Amita share some similar traits—tiny in stature with long, dark hair—Mia has a warm, exotic look about her while Amita is literally drop-dead stunning to look at.
I then have to ask myself what the heck does Roman see in me? I’m not bad to look at, mind you, but I’m not what you’d consider stunning or exotic. I’ve always considered myself too tall, too skinny, and too plain, with fine blond hair and blue eyes that are a dime a dozen anywhere you look.
Emmy frowns and tugs at my hand. “Come on, Mom.”
My feet are rooted to the ground and my eyes nervously search out Roman, who takes one look at me and hops down from the edge of the boat and makes his way toward where I’m standing. “Hey, you okay?” He and Emmy exchange some silent looks back and forth, and then he gently shoves her toward where Marco is waiting to help her board. Once she’s out of earshot, his hands frame my face and he whispers, “Talk to me. What’s going on?”
“Everyone is so … so …” A lump settles in my throat as I tear my gaze away from the beautiful people on the boat and look up at him. “Seriously, Roman, I can’t compete with this.”
He frowns. “There is no competition here. They just want to get to know you, that’s all.” Leaning close, he whispers, “Please take a chance on this. Do it for me. Do it for us.”
He has no idea what he’s asking but if the pleading look in his eyes, the almost desperate need I hear in his voice is any indication, I know this means more to him than I can possibly imagine. Swallowing down the lump of fear, I give him a nod and a weak smile. “Okay.”
Roman grins. “Can I kiss you?”
Laughing, I shake my head. “No, you may not. Everyone is looking at us.” I do take his hand in mine and his sigh of relief is all the reassurance I need that I have the strength to look past the outer prettiness and to the heart of the family that loves him.
By the time the boat finally pulls away from the dock, we’re all laughing at Marco’s antics, and Mia has taken my child firmly under her wing. Cruz drives the boat, easing it out into the water as the warm, balmy air slides over my skin. Roman and I are seated toward the front of the boat, next to Marco and Amita, and Mia and Emmy are sitting in the back, talking animatedly back and forth with one another. Music blares from the speakers that hang above us and since the first choice of music today went to Emmy, we’re all cringing through some boy-band stuff, counting the moments until it’s over.