After that she’d turned to Amy, hoping her sister would stay home long enough to eat a meal with her. But she should have known better, Rachel thought when she recalled the disdain on Amy’s face at the very mention of spending any time with her older sister. So Rachel was stuck eating alone yet again and having mounds of leftovers. Cooking for her family was not doing her ego much good, Rachel decided as she carried a glass of sweetened iced tea to the table.
The sound of the doorbell demanded her attention. When she opened the front door, she was surprised to see Michael standing on the other side of the screen. “What are you doing here?”
“You invited me to dinner.”
“And you declined.”
“True, but a guy can change his mind.”
She’d been crazy to ask him to dinner, and now she didn’t know what to say. Her only defense was she’d thought that the two boys would be eating with them. She didn’t want to share a cozy dinner for two with Michael, especially after their conversation at his house earlier that day. Forcing a smile, she opened the screen door and allowed him inside.
“When’s it ready?”
“I was just sitting down to eat.”
He walked into the kitchen and took in the table set for one. “Where is everyone?”
“They took one look at what I prepared and made a mad dash for the peanut butter jar. I guess I’m going to have to start experimenting with peanut butter in my recipes.”
“Where are Shaun and Garrett?”
“Out back devouring their sandwiches.”
“And Amy?”
“Out with Kevin. Those two are inseparable. I’m worried about what she’ll do.”
“She fancies herself in love.”
“She’s not even seventeen.”
“Way too young to know what love is.”
His sarcasm knifed into her. “I’ll share my dinner with you if you can leave the past out. A deal?”
He tilted his head to the side and thought for a moment. “A deal. But you’ll have to face the fact that your sister thinks she’s in love with Kevin, and she doesn’t want to leave Magnolia Blossom to see the world.”
Rachel sucked in a deep breath, pressing her lips tightly together. The contrasts and similarities between her and her sister’s lives were obvious to both her and Michael.
“We haven’t sat down to dinner yet, and I’ll have my say, Rachel. You’re the one who brought up the subject of Amy.”
“So you think she’ll do something foolish?”
“That’s always a possibility. Just remember when you were her age. You tell me what you think she’ll do.”
She shook her head. “I’m afraid I can’t put myself in Amy’s shoes. We’re very different people. We want different things out of life.”
“Are you so sure about that? Have you discussed this with Amy?”
“Discussed it with Amy? You know I haven’t. She won’t talk to me about anything.”
“If she feels you’re backing her into a corner, she’ll come out fighting.”
Rachel laughed, no humor in the sound. “That’s all we do.”
“She’s trying to preserve the life she wants the best way she knows how.”
“Like I did?”
“Yes. You wanted something different from me ten years ago and you went for it. What you have to ask yourself now is do you want the same thing?”
“To be a chef? Yes, of course.”
“No. To avoid a commitment to another person.”
Her breath caught in her throat, and her heart missed a beat. Michael had a way of striking below the belt and doubling her over with his words.
His eyes clouded with an expression Rachel couldn’t read. “The commitment I’m talking about now is the one you need to make with your brother and sister. I know it’s too late for us. We had our time ten years ago. Whatever we develop now wouldn’t be the same thing.”
No, it wouldn’t be. She had been a teenager, a senior in high school. She was a young woman now. Rachel glanced away and gestured toward the food on the table. “If we don’t eat soon, it’ll get cold. I’ll get you a plate.”
“Rachel, your life has changed—”
“Don’t, Michael. I’m trying.”
“Remember the other day when you talked about getting help with parenting? Come to church this Sunday. Talk with Reverend Williams. He has five children and has dealt with many parenting issues. He’s always listened to me when I’ve had a problem.”
But she wasn’t like Michael. She didn’t open up easily to anyone. She’d spent all her life keeping her feelings bottled up. “I’m sure he has, but—”
Michael laid his fingers over her mouth to still her words. “Don’t dismiss this. Church is a good place to start bringing your family together.”
Rachel blinked, nonplussed by his touch. His gaze drilled into her as though he could convey silently how strongly he felt about his faith. When he dropped his hand, she stepped back. “Shaun said something about it to me. I’d already decided to attend next Sunday.”
Michael smiled. “I’m glad. You won’t regret it.”
His smile, as usual, warmed her and flustered her. She pointed to the chair at the opposite end of the oblong table. “We’d better eat.”
He sat next to her. That action affected the rest of the meal. Rachel was too near to him for her peace of mind. She had a hard time focusing on what he was saying. She was too busy watching him drink his tea, savor the food she’d lovingly prepared, smile at something she managed to say. By the time dinner was over, her nerves were as taut as a rubber band stretched to its limit. She wondered when she would snap from the strain.
“Let’s do the dishes later. The sun’s setting, and I know the view from Flora’s patio is beautiful.”
Rachel looked at the mess in the small kitchen and remembered the night before. “I have a better idea. I’ll clean up later after you’re gone.”
“Sure you don’t want my help?”
“Yes.”
“I’d be nuts to pass up a chance not to do the dishes.”
She was the one who was nuts for thinking they could be just friends. It was like jumping into a raging river to save herself from being burned.
Michael refilled the glasses of iced tea and handed Rachel hers. As she walked to the back door that led to the patio, she felt as though she were walking to her doom. The air was warm, laced with the scents of gardenia and honeysuckle, a gentle breeze stirring enough to keep things cool as the sun dipped toward the horizon. Shaun and Garrett, as she knew they would be, were gone to the park to play with the other kids. She and Michael were alone with a riot of colors splashed across the sky, offering a beautiful backdrop to the evening ahead.
Warily, Rachel sat in a chair and took several sips of her tea, relishing the coldness as it slid down her throat. Normally, she enjoyed silence, but right now the quiet eroded what composure she managed to have. “You’re going to have Shaun and Garrett work on the riverboat. Have you decided to finally do something about it?”
“Yes.” He lifted his tea and sipped. “The boat is a sound one. The repairs it needs are cosmetic. I’ve decided to renovate it and use it for short trips on the river. There’ll be a restaurant on it.” He cradled the glass in his large hands and stared into her eyes. “Will you help me design the kitchen while you’re here this summer?”
Her hands trembled. She nearly dropped her drink and had to place it on the table. “Why me?” she asked, shocked by the offer.
“Why not? I don’t know of anyone more qualified than a chef who is making quite a name for herself. I’ll pay you for your services. Strictly business between us.”
For a brief moment she was tempted to accept. She couldn’t. She would be in constant contact with Michael, and that was a temptation too risky to take.
“Rachel, I know this offer is a surprise. Frankly, it’s a surprise to me. But it makes a lot of sense if you think about it. It’ll give you something to do
while you get to know Amy and Shaun. Don’t give me your answer right now. Promise me you’ll think it over.”
She nodded, still too stunned to do much else. Her mind swirled with the possibilities. The job would help her when she designed her restaurant in New York. Michael wouldn’t be able to devote all his time to the kitchen. He was a busy man with a plantation to run and with the rest of the riverboat’s renovation to oversee. But nevertheless, she would probably be around him every day.
“When did you decide to renovate the riverboat?”
“I’d been toying with the idea for some time. I need to do something with it. Keep it or sell it. I just couldn’t sell it. It was my legacy from my grandfather.”
“Just like you can’t sell Whispering Oaks?”
“Yes.” He finished the rest of his tea in two swallows and put his glass next to hers on the table. “When I ride over the land, I think back to the past and imagine my great-grandfather doing the same thing, or one of my great-uncles working in the field as a young boy. We all had to learn about the plantation by working it right alongside the farm hands.”
“A family tradition?”
“Yes. My family has a lot of them. I like the feeling of belonging. I’ve tried to pass that on to Garrett.”
“My immediate family doesn’t have any traditions unless you count knowing the best way to pack a suitcase.”
With memories of her phone call with her mother, Rachel stared at the sky, the few ribbons of color left merging with the darkness. She was determined not to let her mother destroy the serenity of the moment. Rachel pushed the memories away. She felt insulated from the world as the night edged closer, and for a few minutes she allowed herself to forget her problems and savor the evening’s beauty.
“Traditions have to start somewhere, Rachel. You can start some with Amy and Shaun.” Michael cut into the silence.
“They’ll have their own families soon.”
“Shaun still has a few years to go.” A chuckle added a richness to his words.
“Hopefully, so does Amy. What kind of person is Kevin?”
“He’s a good kid. Plays on the football team. He’s part of the same youth group that Amy belongs to at church. He was also on the debate team that won state this year. I think he’ll get a scholarship to Ole Miss.”
“For football?”
“No, academics. Actually, the way they started dating was he tutored Amy in math last semester.”
“Ah, so she’s inherited my ability for math,” Rachel said with a smile.
The night completely surrounded them now, and the only light to illuminate the patio was what streamed through the living room window. But Rachel didn’t have to see Michael’s expression to know he was staring at her. She looked toward the dark sky, trying to ignore his intensity. “I didn’t realize it was getting so late.”
“Yes, and I’d better be going. Are you sure you don’t want help with the dishes?” As he rose, Michael picked up the two glasses.
“Yes, you’re off the hook. I’m just glad that I had someone to share my dinner with. Eating alone is lonely sometimes.”
Rachel followed Michael into the kitchen and stood by the door while he placed the glasses on the counter. He glanced at her and caught her staring at him. Her cheeks flushed and she backed into the dining room as he came toward her.
“The more I think about you designing the kitchen on the riverboat, the more it makes sense. Is there anything else I can say to persuade you to design my restaurant?”
Rachel’s steps were halted by the dining room table. “I don’t know when my restaurant deal will come through. I might not be able to finish your project.”
“If that happens, then you’re free to leave. You know me. When I do something, I like the best.”
She blushed even more at the compliment. “I’ll be gone for sure by the end of summer.”
“Then we’ll need to get started as soon as possible. Most of the kitchen can be done by then, possibly the whole thing. That’s over two months away.” He grasped her upper arms and pulled her close.
She breathed in his scent and relished it. She touched her hand to his chest, intending to push him away, and marveled at the steady beat of his heart while hers was pounding. The rhythm of his heartbeat began to increase the longer she stayed in his embrace.
“I can give you a tour of the boat tomorrow morning. How about nine?”
She nodded. She would have agreed to anything as long as he was touching her.
Michael grinned. “Good. You won’t regret helping. I’ll see you tomorrow at nine.”
Rationality slowly returned, and his words sank in. “Nine?” She gripped the back of a dining room chair for support.
“For the tour of the boat.”
“Oh, that.” Oh, no, she had agreed to help him with his kitchen! One part of her knew that and was elated; the other part was appalled.
“Yes, that,” he said and turned to leave.
She indulged herself in what was becoming her favorite pastime, watching him move. She couldn’t do it. Look what happened to her willpower just being near the man. She’d agreed to do something she knew was wrong for her. Tomorrow morning she would have to tell him she couldn’t design his kitchen.
* * *
Michael stood at the railing of his riverboat and watched Rachel pull her car into the parking space next to his. After spending a sleepless night, pacing from one end of his bedroom to the other, he’d finally decided he wasn’t totally crazy to have asked her to help him design the kitchen for his restaurant. Only half-nuts, he thought with a derisive laugh. The plain and simple truth, though, was he had never been able to resist Rachel when she had really needed him, and she needed him—even if she was completely unaware of that fact.
Somewhere around three in the morning he’d come to the conclusion that he’d given her the chance because he knew she would have to have something to work on while she was here or she might leave sooner than she had announced. That wouldn’t be good for Shaun and Amy. Somewhere around four he had known he had to see if there was anything left between him and Rachel because every time he was near her it felt like there was something between them. But memories of what had happened ten years before wouldn’t vanish. How could he trust her not to stomp on his heart again? Somewhere around five he’d decided he could be her friend and keep their relationship strictly professional. And somewhere around six he had declared himself a fool.
They’d had their chance, and for whatever reason, God in His infinite wisdom had decided the two of them wouldn’t work. As friends, maybe. As a couple? A bittersweet laugh spilled from his lips.
As she walked toward the riverboat, he watched her long-legged strides. She was beautiful, talented and scared to care about anyone for fear that person would leave her. She liked to do the leaving first. She had spent her life avoiding roots while he had spent his trying to build a stable, grounded life tied to a community, church and family he loved.
If he was going to prove to himself he wasn’t a total fool, he had to make this partnership work. Besides, for Amy’s and Shaun’s sake, he wanted this to work.
Dear Heavenly Father, please guide me and help Rachel to see that making a commitment to her family isn’t a bad thing. Commitments are what make life worth living.
Michael focused on her expression and knew she had come to tell him she had changed her mind. He had expected that. He affected her whether she wanted him to or not. That would scare her, threaten all she thought she wanted. Now all he had to do was convince her not to change her mind. She was an excellent choice to design his kitchen.
* * *
As Rachel made her way to the riverboat, she set her jaw in determination. She would tell him she couldn’t do the job, then leave before he could persuade her otherwise.
She had seen him at the railing on the upper deck, but by the time she arrived at that location, he was gone. She began her search in the main salon. As she passed through the lar
ge area, the size of two ballrooms, she saw such possibilities that she almost stopped to appraise it more thoroughly. She had to remind herself she was on a mission. She couldn’t think about the beautiful carved moldings, the brass fixtures, the picture windows that afforded a clear view of the river and land beyond.
She headed toward the back of the boat, toward what she knew had once been the kitchen. She came to a stop just inside the doorway. The room was huge, and that would be the only thing she would keep. The rest of it would have to be gutted. There was nothing salvageable, from the antique stoves to the cabinets with missing doors. She visualized the kitchen as it should be. She put a halt to her musings when she pictured herself stirring something on one of the new stoves, everything clean and shiny in the brand-new kitchen.
This was a mistake. She took a step back, intending to call Michael about her change of heart. She should never have come to the riverboat. With another step backward she hit a solid wall of human flesh. Hands gripped her arms to steady her, then turned her.
Her heart plummeted when she saw the endearing grin on Michael’s face. She was doomed if she didn’t do something fast.
“You’re right on time, Rachel. Let me give you a tour. Then we can talk about where you want to start.”
“That’s not why I’m here.” She had to remain strong even though his smile warmed her.
He released his hold on her and started to guide her toward the front of the riverboat.
She halted, forcing him to stop. “I can’t do it.”
“Are you backing out? Rachel, we have a verbal agreement.” He stepped closer.
She tried to move away and found herself trapped between Michael and the doorjamb. “I’m breaking it.”
“Why?”
“I don’t have the time.”
“What are you doing with your time while you’re here?”
“Taking care of Amy and Shaun. That can be a full-time job.”
“Is it?”
She dropped her gaze and murmured, “Well, no, but only because they have their own lives with not much room for me. I hope to change that.”
The Courage to Dream Page 8