by Dawn Marie
His hands reached behind my head, grabbed my hair and yanked my head back. He observed my eyes as he bent down and claimed my lips with his hard ones. This was no romantic kiss. His lips circled mine, licked and bit. His wet tongue soon pushed deeply between my lips claiming my tongue as well. Sucking, twirling, biting, nipping on whatever he could reach. My fingernails found his shoulders and sunk deep.
His hips never stopped pounding his eight-inch cock deep into my cozy wet pussy. As my pussy and body came unglued on his cock, he released my lips as I screamed with the released lust. He began to growl low in his throat, as he grounded his cock hard against my pussy. Sunk deep as he could go, coming with a hard splash and a long, long moan.
It was primal.
It was mind-blowing.
Closing my eyes, I released a breath. I was suddenly so tired. I didn’t know what was happening with us. With him. I was unsure of myself. I was scared. I was suddenly in an unknown world. A world I didn’t have a clue how to act in. Opening my eyes, I was lost.
He pulled out and away. Simple as that. Over to his side of the bed. His hands going above his head, legs spread out before him, as he closed his eyes. If I had been with a lover, I would have been instantly drawn to his naked chest. He’d rub my back and hair. Kiss my head. Kiss me gently and tell me thank you. Or, I love you. And, that hit me with a sadness.
“Get dressed,” he ordered with closed eyes. “Get out of my bed.”
“What?”
Shock had hit and it was not nice. My whole body froze.
“Are you deaf?” he yelled. “Get dressed so that I can take your ass home!”
The goddamn nerve of the name. What an asshole!
I got up naked, sperm running down my leg, and picked up my dress off his floor taking it to the bathroom. Once inside I closed the door, turned on the light, and wiped myself. I didn’t bother looking at myself. I knew I was horrible. Tears came. Dear God, I can’t stop them, I thought. I wiped them off my face with my hands and turned off the light. I stood there in the dark for a second trying to calm myself. Then I open the damn door.
He was already dressed in jeans, a tee shirt and his boots. The bed was still a mess. I didn’t know where my bra was and I didn’t care. I found my shoes and slipped them on quickly. I walked to the bedroom door not looking at him. Once I made it to the living room, with his heavy footsteps behind me, I snatched my purse where I left it. I waited by the front door head down.
He stopped next to me, and didn’t say a word as he opened the front door. I walked out as he locked his door heading to his truck. He beeped the doors open as I pulled open the door and got inside. I didn’t say a word. There was no reason.
Pain ate at my insides. I couldn’t wrap my head around his actions. What drove a man to act so nasty? I rubbed my wrists they were hurting. I looked at them in an unsteady gaze as they were red with round marks. How could I explain them? It was plain to tell that I’d been tied-up, restrained.
The road noise and the darkness of the night put me into a sleepy haze. I lay with my head against the side of the truck door, eyes closed. I could smell him. I could feel the heat of his gaze on my body. I could still feel his damn hands touching my body. My nipples drew up into hard little pebbles. I knew he saw them. I wanted to cry but this time I held the tears back. Swallowing I could only hope from the turns and the sounds I was almost home.
As I cracked my eyes open, the time on the radio said 2:30 a.m. and I can’t remember being out so late. I looked up and noticed we were turning at my street so I sat up. I had my purse in a tight grip and I wanted out of this prison. Wanted to be away from him. Dyane wasn’t for me. He wasn’t. I feel like a whore, I thought. Dirty.
He pulled to a stop in my driveway and I wasted no time getting out. I slammed his door shut as hard as I could. Then the damn tears started. I heard him yell my name, “Dawn.” As I briskly walked to my front door.
I didn’t look back. I didn’t stop. I unlocked my front door and shut the door locking it. I stood there until I heard his truck leave. Then I headed to bed where I could break down.
Only a few times in my life do I remember really breaking inside and falling apart inside. Crying so hard you think you’re drowning, sinking into a bottomless pit. A death of a loved one, a first-love, a divorce or a break-up with someone you loved. The emotions of the whole wicked affair, fucking him, just exhausted me body and soul. I needed to cry my eyes out and then pull myself together.
It’s just…I thought he was different.
I thought he was the ONE.
The one for my life. My heart.
But you can’t give your heart to someone who does not want to claim it.
And it hurts like a motherfucker when you do just that.
Chapter 9
I wish honestly, I could say I’m alright this morning. I’m not. It’s the morning or should I say early afternoon after my horrible “hook-up” with Dyane. I’m sitting on the couch drinking a hot cup of cocoa wishing things would have been different. Maybe waking up in his bed with him, breakfast in his bed, some funny conversation, and then maybe make-out. Just enjoy each other, with no games, no pressure.
The horrible, disgusting way he treated me I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe the man is so cold. I did not expect what he had voiced to me to be the actual truth. It’s hard to just except that yes, he is a cold-hearted bastard.
I am hurting in more ways than one. My body is sore and tender. My heart is cracked in places and I’m not sure how long it will take to heal. I do know I should just move onward. Forward. So, that’s what I plan to do come Monday.
Until then I’m staying home and resting. Giving my body and mind a good rest.
Only thing is as I go to my bedroom to lay down, snuggle under my warm sheets and comforter, is that I wanted him. And, it’s my own fault for putting myself in this situation. But I really had saw something, hoped something, that was inside him. Dyane Nelson just wasn’t what I had first thought. I really didn’t understand dirty, raw, nasty sex.
Now I do.
Sleep overtakes me…with it I pray it will heal my puncture wounds and make me stronger.
I blink the tears away as the memories are getting to raw, too deep inside my heart to keep talking about them. But I need to tell this story… the pain is unfathomable.
The story continues and it’s a painful one. I wish I could say it was happier.
I wish…for so many things…
I slept the weekend away. Saturday and Sunday I hardly left my bed. Between bouts of sleeping and crying, I was just a mess. Sunday night I got up, dressed in some normal clothes, fixed some dinner and turned on the television. It was a good feeling to do something normal. Even if it was just watching a silly television show.
I hadn’t check my phone all weekend. I decided to check it. I slid it open and my heart started beating at a frantic pace. I looked twice at the message. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to text me!
Dyane: Text me!
He being Deputy Dyane Nelson.
This sudden rage, I guess that is a good name for what I was feeling inside, came over me. That man has made me a nervous, crying wreck and he almost really, really got to me. Deeply. However, I’m tougher and stronger than I look. That old saying don’t judge a person by first impressions…heard that one, haven’t you?
Well, don’t.
I didn’t reply. I hope you don’t judge me for that decision. But I deleted it. All his messages. Maybe if he had actually called me, I would have replied. Maybe. But he didn’t. Did he? Therefore, I didn’t feel in the mood to talk to him. I wasn’t ready. If I ever would be ready to talk to him again.
I finished my television show and took a long soak in a hot bath. Picked out my outfit for Monday morning for work, planned my lunch and went to bed. It was a start to get back to my normal routines.
Thinking I’d have a peaceful sleep was just rubbish. I didn’t sleep good was an understatement. I slept l
ike shit. Felt like shit. I had woken up around midnight in a sweat, shaking feeling Dyane’s hard hands rubbing my body. My pussy was wet, as I touched my bare clit and felt the dripping on my fingertips. It felt like his cock was pounding into me. I swear it felt so real.
I had to handle my passionate nightmare myself. The climax was hard, body shaking, and I took a cool shower afterwards. It was around 2 a.m. before I got back to sleep. Waking up early at 6:00 a.m. to get ready for work just made me cranky. I had wanted to be bright and cheerful but that wasn’t to be the case. At least not for Monday.
Driving to work I prayed with my fingers crossed that I’d have a good week.
Chapter 10
The week passed by in a big blur. It was finally Friday night and I was excited to be off work. I had plans to meet some high school friends at the movies. An action movie that we all liked was playing. I had been wanting to watch it like forever. So, it was my chance to get out and forget. I was looking forward to the night away from home. A night away from regrets.
I dressed in blue jean shorts with a frayed bottom, white strapless tank top, and white sandals. Light makeup with an extra effort on accenting my eyes. Bright purple lipstick, splash of my favorite floral scent, hair brushed, picked a white purse and I was ready. The movie started at 7 p.m. and with the drive into town I needed to like leave now! It was 6:00 p.m. and I didn’t want to be late.
The drive was a good way to calm doubts. I needed to just forget life problems and just have some fun. I found a parking spot at the end of the parking lot, and walked to the long line at the ticket booth. My friends were there just ahead and they laughed how I’m always late. I let them know I’d see them inside. Lots of families and couples were out. It’s always strange being single. It feels like everyone knows that.
I got my ticket, walked inside the movie theater as my friends hurried ahead wanting to get seats. It’s better they went first away to pick where they wanted to sit. As we all six hurried in the dark to find seats, the girls decided to sit up in the back, almost the top row at the very top of the seats. Fine by me, I muttered. They all slide in, down the line, and I got the end seat but still in the middle.
Which meant there were like four empty seats next to me, that would probably get filled with people soon. As we talked among ourselves till the credits ran, the girls made jokes about us still being single and no men friends. Ah… the jokes carried on till the seats started getting full everywhere. We laughed and the girls sipped their drinks, wishing they were alcohol and crunching on their popcorn.
Movie previews were starting on the screen and the girls went quiet. A few whispers now and then, as we ooooed and ahhhed over the hot actors on the screen. Vampires were sort of my thing, and some of my girlfriend’s thing also. To say we were all excited was an understatement. The laughter and talking got louder. I was ready for the movie to start.
The four seats were still empty next to me. No sooner than I thought that a couple started walking towards the back rows, I watched them as they took those first steps up the rows. My friend Laura, whispered in my ear, “He’s hot. Wouldn’t mind handcuffing him.”
I looked at the guy, my gaze slipping over the girl, and my stomach wanted to throw-up. It was Dyane! Oh, my God! I couldn’t believe this. Not tonight.
I didn’t know what I wanted to do, leave or stay. I wanted to see this movie so badly. I hardly ever had the chance to see my friends. We all worked, went to school, or had kids and lead very busy lives. It was hard for all of us to get together. I wanted to have a good time out. This just wasn’t real I thought.
I leaned over to Laura, and whispered in her ear. “Pinch me.”
“You’re crazy!” As she pinched my bare leg, hard.
The other girls laughed loudly and yelled, “You two get a room!”
As I looked up, the walking couple was putting the seats down next to me. I rubbed my hurting leg, took a sip of my drink, and thought just my luck. The movie opening was starting and it looked good. As the music and words started on the huge screen I became focused on the movie.
My left hand was on the arm rest next to my seat when I felt a hand touch my hand. I looked up quickly in surprise, Dyane was grasping my hand, rubbing his fingers onto my wrists. I gave him a dirty look, and snatched my hand onto my lap. Turning my eyes back to screen, as action started to fill the void. My friends were whispering, laughing, and gasping as the movie played out.
Who in the hell does he think he is I thought. As I looked over at the girl he was with. She was younger than me, blonde hair, thin, no boobs, heavy makeup. I wanted to barf. That’s the truth. I’m sure you’ve experienced that feeling once or twice in your life. This was no exception. After all, as I watched the movie on the huge screen in front of me, I couldn’t help to think about how his hands touched me.
Where they going to touch her?
The movie was a long one. Somewhere in the middle, the girl got up to go somewhere, and Dyane took that break to whisper into my left ear. I wanted to slap him! There probably was a ticket somewhere for that I bet. The urge was a strong one. I had to bite my tongue and the inside of my cheek. As his hot breath mingled into my hair, then his wicked voice into my ear, “I want to fuck you again.”
Clinching my eyes shut, I focused on the movie. As the girl came back to her seat, I said a quiet thank you under my breath. My friends continued joking and laughing. They even had me joining in with them might as well. As the movie came to an end, we sat while everyone got up to leave, except the couple stayed seated also. We all hugged and said our goodbyes, promised to have lunch together, do this again, etc. and stood up to walk out.
As I stood up, Dyane stood up with his friend and they began to walk out. I followed behind them, with my friend Laura behind me, and the rest of the four girls behind her. Once we were out into the main part of the theater we went our separate ways. It was dark and late now. The place was full for a Friday night.
Walking to my car, I wasn’t aware of where I was going, and before I knew it I felt someone behind me. As I came two cars away from my own car I turned to glance behind me and I couldn’t believe it. Dyane was there! I don’t know what came over me…anger? I stopped walking, as he came next to me, he made no effort to hide the fact he was after me.
“What in the hell do you want?” I demanded.
“Dawn,” he drawled, “I need to talk to you.” His navy-blue eyes were blazing with pent up emotions. Mine said I don’t care.
“Too bad.” I replied sarcastically as I walked to my car. I beeped it, and pulled the door open. As I put my purse inside and got inside hurriedly I shut the door locking the car.
As if he knew he couldn’t do anything without a scene, he turned and walked to his truck. That’s when I noticed the girl in the seat, and his truck parked four spaces down and over from where I was parked. The blasted nerve of the damn man I muttered at least past Sonic on highway 90. I don’t remember how I made it home so late at night, pissed off. But I did.
Once I was home, undressed and a cool drink I calmed down a tad bit. Not too much. The what the hell feeling was still there. As I got ready for bed I looked at my phone, and a hot fire entered my body. The man was annoying as a red fire ant. I wanted to pour gasoline on him…how dare he text me!
I stayed in bed, the text running through my mind.
Dyane: Dawn, answer me or I’m coming over! I want to talk to you…
I’m not answering him. I am not answering him. I’m not. I repeated inside my head. As teardrops formed in my eyes, slipped down my cheeks, making me wipe them off with my hands. I can’t do this…
I laid snuggled in my bed, almost falling to sleep when I heard a loud banging on my front door. I turned on my lamp beside my bed and got out of bed in my red silk nightie. Walking to my front door, I peeked out the kitchen windows to see who was outside. Not many people came to my door at almost midnight.
It was Dyane!
The man had some real balls…balls I w
anted to smash with a baseball bat.
I unlocked the door, and stood there in the two-inch space, glaring at him.
He just looked at me calmly. I think that pissed me off even more. I’m not sure. I just know this man set off feelings I did not want to feel. He was just too much everything. Heat. Passion. Charm. Sexiness. Cockiness. Whatever name you want to label him, he was just too much of it.
“What do you want?” I yelled at him.
“I’d like to speak with you Dawn,” he responded quietly.
“Some other time, I’m sleeping,” I snidely replied. Pushing the door shut, or fixing to, as his big booted foot stopped the process.
I tried to push the damn door shut. He was too strong. His hand went up to grab the door and pushed it opened. His large frame standing in the opening, as he pushed his way inside my darkened living room. I stood there in my red silk nightie, shaking with anger and desire. He had a lot of nerve.
All the feelings I had been locking inside me came back to the surface. They were a hot slap in the face. How could this one man bring such chaotic feelings to my heart? I wanted to hug him, kiss him, but slap him at the same time. All the pent-up anger, passion, whatever label I gave it, they came barreling through my body all at once.
I stood in the middle of my living room shaking with too many emotions for this man. A man I did not know what he was after from me. What did he want now? Was he even sorry for the way he treated me? Did he feel sorry? I somehow doubted it. However, yes, deep down inside I wanted to believe this man could feel regret. Sorrow. Pain. Did Dyane want to be loved? Didn’t we all just want someone to love us?
Dyane shut the door. The clicking closed sound brought my blue eyes quickly up to his navy-blue ones. His face was drawn tight with regret. Was it possible? His eyes gleamed back at me with sadness. I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t. This man shocked me and hurt me more than any other man to this date. I couldn’t afford to let him get any closer to me.