by Storm Chase
Oh well, she thought, it's not like he'd put in stalk Pandora or send Mac some dope.
She threw the iPad on the bed. She wanted to scream but knew it wouldn’t help. She was stuck. Her only option was to talk Xavier into letting her out. Or connect with the outside world. And to persuade him, she’d have to be very, very nice to him.
Chapter Six
As the sun rose slowly in the sky, Pandora considered her options. The more she thought about her situation, the more awful it looked.
If by some miracle she did manage to get out, it wouldn’t be easy to get anyone to believe her story. She hadn’t a shred of evidence to show she hadn’t known she was handing information to an enemy agent or that Sir Harry was a murderous traitor. The fake brigadier would be long gone, and Sir Harry would deny everything. Or maybe he’d already told the police that she’d been the one stealing information and passing it along. She might end up in jail.
Pandora’s heart sank at the thought. The idea of prison scared her silly but she couldn’t stay here. Not with people who thought kidnapping and murder were normal. She was also certain that Xavier would get bored with her, at which point she’d end up like that girl in the video or dead; she didn’t know which was worse.
A murmur of voices was drifting through from next door. When she peeked round the corner, she saw the room was full of soldier types, all wearing side holsters. They were setting up tables and unrolling maps. These must be the experts who were going to use Xavier’s talents to trick their enemies into falling into deadly traps.
Throughout the afternoon their voices rose and fell. They all seemed to smoke endlessly. Even closing the bedroom door didn’t prevent the smell from drifting through.
Pandora sat in the bedroom as she considered her own situation and became more and more depressed. When the sky outside turned red and darkened, the voices next door finally stopped.
Slowly she got up from the bed and listened. The room next door was silent. She peeked round; the guns had gone. Xavier wasn’t there either. Maybe they’d all gone to the party in the apartment below to celebrate. The thought of what was happening there made her shudder.
The more Pandora thought, the more depressed she became. She looked out of the window at the last remnant of red sky and came to a decision. She’d messed up her life beyond repair. Her father, her mother and Richard had been right: she was a waste of space. Pandora came to a decision. The thought that had been haunting the edges of her mind for weeks stood out clearly. There was nothing else to do.
She walked into the kitchen. The knife she’d picked up that morning had been useless for throwing but it had a serrated edge. Pandora picked it up and without giving herself time to think, sliced it across her wrist. It didn’t cut properly and there wasn’t a lot of blood. Typical. She was such a waste of time that she couldn’t even kill herself properly. Frowning, she held the knife at a different angle. This time she’d do it right.
“Pandora, no!” Xavier leaped across the room and grabbed the knife. He wrested it away from her, and threw it in the sink. “Oh my God, you’re bleeding! Why did you do that?”
Pandora looked at him dully. “Why?” she asked. “Because there’s no point, is there?”
He froze, his mouth opening and shutting in shock. “It’s not supposed to be this way,” he whispered. “I did everything he said. Everything. He said you’d be happy.” He stared at her wrist. “You tried to kill yourself. Because of me.”
With absolute amazement Pandora saw tears in his eyes. She stared at him. “You thought it would be okay to stalk, kidnap and rape me?”
“But it wasn’t like that!” he cried. “I could never hurt you!” He stared at her wrist. “You’re bleeding. I don’t know what to do about that!” He sounded panicky.
“Maybe you should call your expert,” Pandora said sarcastically.
“Are you crazy?” Xavier said appalled. “I can’t trust him! He obviously got it all completely wrong. I need to find someone else.”
Xavier simply wasn’t real. She wanted to hate him, yet there he was, standing in front of her, dashing away the tears from his eyes and shaking like a leaf. He obviously cared.
He was examining her wrist. “You’re bleeding,” he said worriedly. “And it’s close to the vein. I’ve got to stop that. They’ll know what to do about that if nothing else.” He tugged his phone out of his back pocket.
“Xavier, wait,” Pandora said. She stared at Xavier, seeing the panic in his eyes. Strangely enough it calmed her.
She looked at her wrist and saw a trickle of blood dripping slowly down the soft white inner skin of her arm. After months of guilt, trying to take her own life had seemed the right solution but now she’d cut herself, she suddenly felt released. Pandora realised that she didn’t want to kill herself anymore. Her fear and depression fled, leaving only anger and determination. She’d live through this; find a way out. She wasn’t going to let Sir Harry and the bastards he worked for get away with this.
“Panda, you’re bleeding.” Xavier still looked stricken. “You need help.”
Pandora decided that Xavier’s people sounded like they’d graduated in the school of human trafficking. They might persuade him to do something really awful. With a shudder she remembered some of the horror stories she’d read in the papers about gangs who beat and raped their victims until they were too exhausted to fight. “Hang on a minute, Xav. Don’t do anything.”
“I have to. You’re hurt!”
“It’s not serious.”
“Yes, but you did this on purpose.”
“It’s not deep. I didn’t do it right. I never do anything right,” she sighed.
“Oh Pandora!”
He folded his arms around her. She could feel him shivering with tension.
“Come on,” she said. She rinsed her wrist under the kitchen tap. The cut was shallow and bled sluggishly. She’d had worse kitchen accidents. Xavier was standing next to her looking anxious. Suddenly Pandora felt terribly sorry for him, but the horrible manipulative part of her said that maybe now he’d listen to her. “Let’s talk.”
They went to the living room and sat down on the squashy sofa. He sat down next to her and held her hand. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself. Tell me what I have to do, Panda.”
“Send me back to England.”
Xavier gulped. “Pandora,” he said, “I can give you anything you want. Money. Clothes. Jewellery. Holidays on any tropical beach you like. But I can’t do that.” He hesitated and then confessed, “I can’t walk out either. I’m as stuck as you are.”
Pandora gasped. “What do you mean? You’ve been all around the world.”
“I’m wanted by the police in several countries and some of the people I used to work with are after me too,” Xavier explained. “I never go out by myself. When I do go out, I pick the time and place very carefully.”
Despite herself she was interested. “So you need permission?”
“Not exactly,” Xavier explained. “I used to have to wait for days to get everything arranged for just a run around the block. I’d stay in mostly but working out in the gym just doesn’t work every time. And as I can’t think right when I’m stressed my people decided to have a security team on standby all the time. They keep me safe. I wouldn’t last a week out there by myself.”
“If you’re stuck too, why can’t we both leave?”
“Why?” Xavier said surprised. “These are the best people I’ve been with, ever!”
Pandora stared at him in amazement. “You’re kidding!”
“I’ve had problems before,” he explained. “But as I got more skills, I got better deals.”
“This is a good deal?” Pandora asked. She found it hard to believe.
“Sure! The last lot I worked with tried to threaten me,” Xavier looked angry for a moment. “I fixed them,” he said in a hard voice. “I dropped them right in it and walked out. I joined this lot because they value me. They get me anything I want and
they keep me safe. Like when I told them I needed to get out more, they didn’t just up security, they got a good doctor to work on my face too.”
Pandora was totally taken aback. “You had plastic surgery?”
“Just a bit here and there. Enough to confuse facial recognition software,” Xavier said airily. “I’ve had it done twice now.” He pressed her hand. “My people are the best, Panda, really they are. They will keep you safe too. They promised.”
“Safe from who? Themselves?”
Xavier frowned. “Pandora, they’ve promised not to touch you. It came straight from the Committee.”
“Who are they?”
“We’re not exactly a formal business,” Xavier explained slowly, “but we’ve got a similar structure. The Committee approve jobs, arrange teams, hire specialists when needed and so on. They also organise taking out our competition.”
“Like the brigadier?”
“Yes. We’re having a turf war at the moment so everyone’s a bit tense. The Committee will deal with it. They always do. You’ve passed the debrief so you’re safe from them but your fake brigadier and his people might be after you. Your government too. Mac may be retired from official duty but there are others who are sent out to collar enemies of the state.”
She was an enemy of the state. She hated the idea. But maybe even that was better than this nightmarish world. “I think I’d rather go home and face up to what’s happened,” she said slowly. “If I could explain everything, tell them what happened, it may not be too bad. I’ll take my chances.”
Xavier swallowed nervously. “Panda, there’s something you don’t know. Everyone thinks you’re dead.”
“Oh come on! I’m standing right here!”
“You left a suicide note on your computer at work and jumped in the Thames on your way home. We provided a body, and switched your dental records so it was a positive match.”
She was back in horror movie mode again. Things like this just didn’t happen.
“If you turn up safe and sound you’d be in terrible trouble,” Xavier ploughed on. “Sir Harry reported that you leaked secret files, so if anyone snoops around and finds a problem, he’s officially in the clear.”
It was as she’d feared. But surely there was something she could do about Sir Harry? “But he killed a man!”
“He moved the body. It’s just another dead John Doe. Nobody suspects a thing.”
Pandora struggled to get a grip on her thoughts. It was all fantastic but deep down she knew that Xavier was telling the truth. She’d been erased. And it wasn’t make-believe.
“Panda, this is what my people are expert at,” Xavier said earnestly. “The Committee are incredibly powerful. And they don’t have to follow anyone else’s rules. They made their arrangements so that we are safe. You are now part of the group. Your fate depends on ours.”
“I didn’t choose this,” Pandora whispered.
“Nevertheless, you are in it with us. You have to understand: you don’t mess with the Committee. They don’t leave anything to chance. There’s too much money involved. You must accept this.”
She was too frightened to ask him if her parents had heard Sir Harry’s lies. If they had, they would think her a traitor. The thought was unbearable. “I can’t do this!” Pandora wept.
As Xavier reached for her, she shot past him, bolted down the corridor and locked herself in the bathroom. Leaning against the door, she slid to the floor and burst into tears. As she cried, she could hear Xavier talking through the door.
“Panda? Please don’t cry.”
“Go away!” she screamed. “Fuck off and leave me alone!”
The doorknob turned and for a moment she thought he might break the door down but then she heard him sigh. “All right, Panda. I guess you can’t hurt yourself with soap and an electric razor. I’ll be here when you’re done.”
She heard his footsteps walk away and gave herself over to grief. When she eventually lifted her head, her throat was sore from sobbing. She got to her feet and washed her face. When she looked in the mirror, she winced at the sight of her red eyes.
“You look god-awful,” she said to herself. “And you’re in deep shit, but crying’s not going to help.”
Pandora sat down on the loo and made herself think. After going over everything three times, she came to the bitter conclusion that Mac had been right: she had to adapt or she’d be dead. She was alive because Xavier liked her but if he went off her, the people he worked for would have no problem taking her out. Her throbbing wrist reminded her that she didn’t want to take the coward’s way out, which meant her only alternative was to suck up to Xavier and talk him into letting her go home.
Pandora sighed. It meant she’d have to talk Xavier into ditching ‘his people’ and she knew that wasn’t going to be easy. Common sense told her that they’d be very unhappy if Xavier tried to leave. Pandora shivered. If Xavier’s people ever found out that she was trying to talk him into jumping ship, they’d kill her. She’d have to be very, very careful.
At the thought of the task in front of her, Pandora felt very much alone. She’d never been able to convince anyone of anything, so was she kidding herself? Would Xavier ever listen to her?
He might if he really likes you, her manipulative inner voice piped up. After all, girls get men to do stuff they don’t like all the time. At least, they did for their girlfriends, Pandora sighed to herself. So be a girlfriend, her inner voice shouted. Do what it takes to get out of here!
At first Pandora shuddered but long reflection told her that her inner voice was right. Xavier wasn’t going to like her very much at all if she lectured him by day and slept on the sofa by night. The fact that she was confident that he wouldn’t force her into anything made her feel better. Despite everything, she wasn’t afraid of him.
Pandora forced herself to her feet. There was no point in hiding in the bathroom. The sooner she got out of there, the faster she could go home and explain what had happened. With Xavier backing her up, they would believe her - and maybe they could do a deal. After all, she’d not realised she was passing information to criminals, and if she told the truth, and got Xavier to give up his people, they might get immunity.
Taking a deep breath, Pandora opened the door and peeked out. The apartment was silent. Seeing Xavier had disappeared, Pandora was irresistibly drawn to his computer bank. The second she drew near, she heard the lift open. Not wanting him to think she was messing about with his things, Pandora shot over to the sofa and sat down.
“Pandora! Are you all right?” Xavier came over and looked at her with worried eyes. “You’ve been crying. Do you want an aspirin?”
“No thanks,” Pandora said. “Sorry, Xavier. I just got a bit-” Despite her best efforts, her eyes were filling with tears again.
Xavier sat down and put his arms around her. Pandora stiffened a moment and then relaxed. Just like the day before, he felt like a tower of strength. She took a deep breath and took comfort in the hard muscles and the hand that was gently massaging her neck. But when he began murmuring, “There, there,” in an awkward way, Pandora laughed. Hearing her, Xavier began laughing too. “I’m not very good at that,” he confided. “But Paco told me it would make you feel better.”
“You asked Paco?” Pandora sat back against the sofa, leaning into Xavier’s body and pulling his arm around her shoulders. Paco, she remembered, was the tall Latino, the one who’d been there when Xavier had talked to the guns.
“Paco has a lot of girls,” Xavier said. “And lots of them aren’t hookers.”
“Terrific,” Pandora said dryly.
“You’re being sarcastic, right?” Xavier looked a bit worried. “I know how to talk to working girls but you’re not one of them so I thought I might be messing up. Did I get it wrong?”
“It seems like sound thinking,” Pandora said.
As before, her sarcasm went straight over Xavier’s head. “Right. You see, Paco looks after the business side so it didn’
t occur to me to ask him for input until now. I gave him a summary and he says the Committee sent the wrong man.”
“Does he?” Pandora said politely.
“Yes, I should have followed my instincts because I thought it sounded all wrong. I mean, first he said to beat the hell out of you and lock you up without food for five days-”
Pandora put her hand on Xavier’s chest. “Xav, for God’s sake!”
Xavier smiled at her. “I’d never do that, Panda! But when I told him to forget it, he came up with the idea of doping you. That didn’t sound right either but he said it was the best way and as the Committee said he was an expert-”
Dear Christ, Pandora thought to herself. Whatever it takes, I have to get Xavier to flip on these people and take us both out of here. She forced herself to keep calm. “So you bought the boost.”
“Yes, I have to say I had a blast,” Xavier admitted. Then, correctly interpreting Pandora’s look of fury for once, he quickly added, “Although I know now it was a terrible thing to do!”
“Do you hell!” Pandora snapped. “You’re only saying that because it made me mad at you.”
Xavier blinked. “That’s exactly right, Panda! How did you know that?” He smiled ruefully. “It’s not just not being able to tell other people’s feelings, you know. I don’t know much about women.”
“Yes, I can see that,” Pandora said wondering if the Alice down the rabbit hole feeling would ever go away.
“I should have asked Paco before.” Xavier said guiltily. “That’s the problem with specialisation, sometimes it’s not the pros who have the best intel.”
“Really? That must be a useful work lesson.”
Xavier grinned at her. “That’s sarcasm! Good, I’m glad you’re feeling better, Panda! Paco told me I’d fucked this up so badly that it would take complete abasement and a truckload of chocolate before you’d even think of talking to me.”
Pandora couldn’t help smiling. “Chocolate is the universal language of apology, is it?”