by Ian Hall
I got in, got what I wanted, plus a few extra things (including my father’s stash-o-cash from inside the mattress), and got out. Almost.
There was one more thing I needed; this picture of the three of us on vacation in Hawaii four years ago. It was the funnest time of my life and all of us looked so happy in that picture; a totally perfect moment captured forever…and I wanted to take it with me.
Mom always kept that picture on the fireplace mantle downstairs.
Somehow I’d just about completely forgotten that I was supposed to kill Hannah and Barton. The trip down memory lane had distracted me and I got all kinds of sloppy; too comfortable.
Well. The second the top stepped squeaked I knew I was totally screwed.
So Halloween came. I tried to act all ‘same as before,’ but it proved difficult. Years ago, I’d trick-or-treated like everyone else, but since twelve or so, we’d just handed out candy to the younger kids.
The porch had been decorated for weeks, and even the fake cobwebs had cobwebs of their own. That night, I sat at the bottom of the stairs, ready for the onslaught. I looked a pretty crummy zombie, a little black around the eyes, some fake blood, and old torn clothes; I hadn’t put much thought into it.
The doorbell first went at five-twenty-six p.m.
I opened it with a feeling of utter boredom to find Mary-Christine outside - and wow! Dressed as the she sexiest witch I’d ever seen.
Her bodice fluffed up her tits to allow a great cleavage, and her make-up was crazy good. I stood open-mouthed and taking it all in, and having a stirring in my trousers, when mom burst past and started doing the usual mom ‘coos’ and stuff. I’m glad she did, because my ability to speak had temporarily left me.
Well, the rest of Halloween went really quickly. With my baby to keep my spirits up, I threw myself into the zombie thing. Mom spent most of her time in the background, but she smiled a lot, and took lots of pictures, proud of her beefcake son and his very pretty girlfriend.
Dad came home around eight-thirty and reckoned that we all should close up shop and go have some dinner. He looked in a particularly good mood, but mom put her foot down, determined for our Halloween shop to stay open ‘til nine. In the end, he didn’t grumble too much.
Dinner turned out to be a busy Applebees, because dad wanted a beer or two.
“To celebrate,” His grin became cheesier. “I got kicked sideways at work!”
I sat only half listening. We were in a booth, and my sexy witch snuggled beside me. I thought I couldn’t stand it. Her boobs were throwing themselves at me, I knew what those things felt like, and her bodice stuck them out so much.
“Sideways?” Mom asked. “Is that a good thing?”
“Yeah, well it’s all thanks to Mary-Christine’s dad, Dave.” That got my attention. “Dave’s got a new project starting next year, and he’s gathering a team. There’s no extra money as such, but there’s no glass ceiling, either.”
I could tell dad was excited, and we toasted his move sideways.
The meal came, and we all had our fill. I had no idea I was so hungry until the plate sat in front of me. Almost like I’d missed a meal somewhere.
“So have you settled on a college, son?” dad asked.
Taken aback a little bit, I shook my head. “Not really, Dad. I’m easy right now.”
“Well, the company can help with all that.” He jabbed his fork towards Mary-Christine. “There are programs that employees can take advantage of. Phoenix, L.A.”
“Oh, I thought of keeping it local.”
“Flagstaff? NAU? Oh, I think we could do better than that.”
Number one, I didn’t like the idea of moving; I had just gotten a girlfriend, and I didn’t want to make a decision about something that lay eight months away. I also had the mild-mannered Clark Kent/Superman thing going on that I couldn’t tell dad about. I mean, you can’t come out and say: “You know, Dad, I’m not sure what colleges have the right vampire-killing courses,” could I?
I mumbled, the conversation died, and we got on with dessert, because I was still hungry.
It did make me face a little bit of reality, though.
As I laughed and ate the hot cake and ice cream, I realized that these days were drawing to a close. My schooldays were soon ending, and I knew Dad would now prattle on about college ‘til I made my mind up, and Mary-Christine and I had really just started going out.
Damn.
I cuddled with Mary-Christine in the back of the car on the way home, and dad dropped us both off at the Muscat’s.
Once inside, I cornered Dave in the dining room. “I need to ask a question.”
He lounged farther back in his leather chair. “Fire away.”
“Well, here are the facts as I see them. We’re involved in the vampire-slaying business. But at the same time, I’m at school, going to college soon, maybe.” I paused, trying to figure exactly how to phrase the main question. “How does my vampire-killing affect my life decisions in the future? I mean, has my life changed totally, and how does this all affect me?”
He sat for a moment. “Think of it this way; our ‘business’ is life. The main thing that we do is live our lives, Lyman. We are born, we marry, we have kids, we die; hopefully in that order.” He looked serious. “We also have to make money; we have to work to support the ‘life’ part. But we have a part-time gig, popping vampires.”
“But what happens when I go to college?”
“Things will change, Lyman. Perhaps there will be a vampire hunting cadre there. Perhaps not.”
“But what about me and Mary-Christine?”
To my chagrin, he laughed. “Lyman, you’re only going through what every teenager does when college rears its ugly head!” the laugh continued. “The only difference is you also hunt vampires!”
Hannah came up at me with the speed of a freaking runaway train. My mind froze; but only my mind. My body went into action.
We were at the top of the stairs and I sprung at her. If we’d been mortal, both our necks would’ve snapped in the fall. Being vampires, once we hit bottom, each of us just sort of bounced onto our feet and I found myself crouching like an attacking tiger.
My instincts were set to “kill.” I barreled through Hannah. Her body felt thick and heavy but I pushed her back so hard, she left a Hannah-shaped indentation in the wall. Plaster broke off in dusty chunks all over the place. Pictures fell. The window rattled in the pane. Hannah, though, wasn’t even fazed.
I felt her fist in my gut before I ever saw it coming. Little bright lights like stars flashed in my eyes and I felt dizzy and nauseous. I dropped to the floor. That bitch could hit; a fact I remembered all-too well.
I’d never fought back before. And she wasn’t prepared when my fangs dug into her calf. With one hand above her knee and one hand below, I snapped her leg in two.
Suddenly my ears were filled with her wailing; more dizzying than the punch. But, I felt my way through the searing pain between my eyes and found the fireplace poker. With one easy plunge it sank through her chest. Blood trickled down her mouth and her eyes went blank.
It seemed like a long time, but I don’t really know for sure how long I stood over her, all wowed and freaked out that I’d beaten the most vicious vampire I’d met so far. However long it turned out to be too long. I’d all but forgotten that I still wasn’t alone.
Barton came up behind me, reaching around to snap my neck. But he was way too slow. I threw him off easily enough - I mean the guy was basically a sack of lard anyway. Before he could roll off of that ginormous gut of his and face me, I had him pinned. One quick yank: beheaded.
This time I didn’t stop to admire my ninja-ness. The picture sat on the mantle; that’s what I had risked life and limb for and I sure as heck didn’t intend leaving home without it.
My fingers barely brushed the brass frame when I felt a strange burning through my middle. I looked down and found the pointy end of the fireplace poker sticking out of my stomach. The wa
rm, oozing feeling must have been my blood running out.
I heard a crunching sound. Either bones were snapping or someone was shaking a tin cup full of gravel. When I turned around, Hannah stood behind me. Her eyes were wide open and she had a very perplexed, puzzled look on her face. As she started to slip down to the floor, her body fell in a heap but her head just kind of hovered there. It was so weird. You know - one of those dreams that you know is a dream because everything’s just too bizarre to be real?
Only, this wasn’t a dream at all.
Jackson dropped Hannah’s head to the floor, rolling it far away from her body. Then he went around me and pulled the poker out. He caught me when I started to fall and carried me over to the couch.
“Just lay still. It’ll take a while but your injuries will heal. I’ll take care of this mess.”
“What will we do with the bodies?” I asked.
But of course when I looked at them, they’d both crumbled to dust and fragments of bones, their clothes still lying, crumpled where they’d fallen. A couple of garden trash bags would deal with both.
More Questions than Answers
I lay awake that night and couldn’t get to sleep. My first thoughts were, of course, of Mary-Christine, and that stunning costume, but she did slip after a bit. The events of the last few weeks were hectic in the extreme and the Karate and guns were only the extreme outside part of it.
I was a Helsing, and although mom and dad seemed to have no idea of their heritage, Dave Muscat had.
Questions began to multiply in my head.
Somehow, Dave had conspired to find either Dad or me, and have us tested, or have our lineage traced or something.
Did that mean that one of my granddads had been one?
And how exactly had Dave Muscat found me?
How big was this Helsing family?
Had Mary-Christine’s appearance at Alan’s gate that day a coincidence?
I wondered if my kids would carry the gene. Our kids. But that just made me think of doing it with Mary-Christine. Not a good image in your head if you’re trying to get to sleep.
Who controlled the Helsings? I mean, they seemed to be not above the government, but Unicorps was a big company, and at least one of their ‘research’ facilities seemed heavily involved.
Despite my sleeplessness, I awoke early the next morning, at seven-o-six precisely. I dressed quickly, determined to find out what I could, and my first port-of-call would be Dave Muscat.
Mary-Christine’s dad left for work at eight-thirty, and I knew that he read the morning paper extensively beforehand, so I had a little window.
“Come in, Lyman.” Dave looked surprised, and opened the door wide. “What’s the occasion?”
“Eh, I’m building a picture in my head, and hoped you could help.”
“Sure. You had breakfast?”
I shook my head, and he preceded me through the large kitchen into his study.
Two small leather couches faced each other over the small room. He took one, I sat on the other.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Well, I’m not sure what order these questions should be in, but I’m just going to start, and see where it goes. Is that all right?”
“Fine by me.”
“The Helsing gene? I have it, but not mom or dad?”
“Well, technically, you all have it. It’s just dormant in your parents. It seems that because of the double whammy though, your genes are very active. Probably amongst the highest we’ve found.”
“That brings the next question: how do you know all this?”
By the look that passed over Dave’s face, he hadn’t been expecting that one.
“Genetics is not an old science,” he began. “Most of the work has been done since the fifties and sixties. DNA has been a wealth of information ever since. Unicorps is the only laboratory to structure a test for the Helsing gene, and the test has been in place since 1982. Over the years, we’ve established a database, and today have extensive knowledge of the gene and its path through the generations.”
He obviously thought he’d answered the question.
“Why is the Bracks family in Gregor?”
“Ho!” Dave laughed. “So the gloves are off, huh?”
I sat resolute. I mean, if I had the beginnings of a man’s body, why shouldn’t I stand up for myself? I sat in silence for a moment, wondering if he’d answer the question.
“Unicorps brought the Bracks family here.” It seemed that all Dave’s friendly vibe had gone. “We detected the gene in your father and mother in 2003. We get a voluntary DNA sample from all employees and spouses for standard drug testing. To have both parents with the gene is rare, so we arranged your father’s transfer and promotion. We have been watching you since then.”
“Did you test my DNA?”
“In 2005.”
“Without permission?”
“Don’t go there. We grabbed some red hair from a hairbrush. You are the real deal.”
Although I feigned annoyance at the infringement of my personal freedom, it didn’t really bother me. “Grandparents?”
“We haven’t checked, there seemed no point. They’re too old to put at risk.” He sat ready for the next question, but Mrs. Muscat popped her head around the door. “Toast, coffee?”
“Yes, please,” we both replied in near synchronicity.
“So, how much of Unicorps is involved in this?”
“It’s not a huge vampire-bashing organization, if that’s what you’re getting at. We have people high up, but only a fraction of the company has any idea what my department actually does.”
“Are you the top man?”
Dave nodded. “In this area. We have a few personnel at my level.”
“Ok. Your family. Are you all Helsings?”
“Yes, we are. I met Roni in 1987. She joined Unicorps, and her gene got reported to me. I then found interest in what lay inside her jeans, so to speak, more than her actual genes. As you have already seen.”
I was surprised at Roni working at Unicorps. She seemed the stay-at-home mom type.
“So both Mary-Christine and I are double Helsings. Is there going to be any problems if we have children?”
“Quadruple Helsings?” Dave’s eyebrows lifted. “My, you are thinking ahead, aren’t you? No, Lyman. Thank you for being so thorough, but there’s no danger there.”
The toast arrived, and we each got our own tray. Roni placed coffee on the wooden floor. “Everything okay in here?”
“Oh, Lyman here is just bringing himself up-to-date with all the Helsing stuff. Nothing bad. Well, apart from the fact that he just asked permission to have children with Mary-Christine!”
We all laughed, and I knew my face went beetroot red because I could feel it. For once, glad that Mary-Christine was not present.
Roni left, and I slowly finished my mouthful of toast.
“So you brought the Bracks family to Gregor. What for, exactly?”
“We actually needed a man in your dad’s field, it wasn’t a false transfer. But it certainly was because of your genes that he got chosen.”
“So my being here is part of the great plan.” Then, as I said it, I realized that I didn’t particularly care. “How about me and Mary-Christine meeting? Did you stage that too?”
Dave laughed. “Now that is a funny story. We asked her at the start of the school year to keep an eye on you, a kind of undercover mission. Then one day she comes home and tells us that she met you, and even kissed you. Seems she really threw herself into her mission!”
“Last one for now,” I began, a big grin on my face. “If I’m going to college with Unicorps in mind, what do I major in?”
Jackson must have carried me back to his place, because I certainly couldn’t walk. I flitted in and out of consciousness for a couple of days.
Jackson wiped my brow, and whispered encouragement. Apparently, the first time dead is always a bitch; they don’t tell you that in Vampire 101.
The pain felt unbelievable; sometimes - when I got awake enough - it felt like my insides were on fire. Then I’d fall into this un-asleep state and have what I’ll call a dream but I don’t really know for sure if it was; vampires don’t sleep a whole lot and since I’d been one I hadn’t dreamed at all. So, whatever I went through, it seemed like my consciousness rested somewhere else.
When I lived in that other place, I felt like I lived underwater. And the water boiled. My skin peeled off in chunks, cooking off the bone. I kept trying to flap my way to the top and break the surface; but it always proved too deep.
A day or so after I’d come out of it, I told Jackson about the un-dream.
“I really wonder if that’s where my soul went after I became a vampire,” I told him.
For once he took me seriously. Jackson, sitting on the edge of my bed, suddenly looked down on me with the saddest expression.
“I wish I knew what to tell you, Mandy,” he said. “All these years I’ve just kind of hoped that my soul returned to God while my body remains earthbound.”
“I wouldn’t have thought vampires believe in God.”
Jackson almost smiled at that. Almost. I mean - the slight turning up of this mouth was the closest to smiling Jackson Cole ever came.
“Amos Blanche didn’t take everything away from me - certainly not my beliefs; before he turned me, I had plans to go into the ministry, and I still pray every single day…of course, the Bible doesn’t address the Lord’s position on vampires so I can’t say for sure that He still listens to me.”
Then, in the twinkling of an eye, the smile vanished.
On a ‘Jackson’ diet, my body still felt super weak; and continually starving. Jackson handed me a plate. He had been feeding me a steady diet of his mice to get my strength up. It certainly helped, but it proved heck of a slow. I looked at the limp rodents and felt my stomach turn over; it might as well have been a pile of Brussels sprouts.