Sydney Harbor Hospital: Zoe's Baby

by Alison Roberts

Alisi gave her a nudge. ‘Go,’ she urged in a whisper. ‘I think he wants to show you the moon on the beach.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘I’ll look after Emma.’ Alisi’s expression was curiously solemn. ‘You should go with Teo.’

  He led her along a forest track. It smelled warm and damp and there were occasional drifts of some deliciously scented flowers. There were scuttles of unidentified creatures and insects as well but Zoe wasn’t bothered. Her hand was in Teo’s and she would have happily gone wherever he was leading her.

  It turned out to be a beach that she hadn’t seen before. A small curve of sand that was ghostly white in the moonlight. The sea was so calm there were virtually no waves, the moonlight reflected in a path that led to the curl of soft foam caressing the sand.

  ‘My beach,’ Teo said.

  They discarded their sandals and walked the length of it, hand in hand, letting the water wash over their feet, deliciously cool. When they got to the end of the tiny bay, they stopped and looked out to sea, soaking in the sheer beauty of it all and the warmth of the tropical night. At least, that was what Zoe was doing. Finally, she drew in a deep breath of utter happiness and turned to thank Teo for showing it to her, only to find that he wasn’t looking at the moon and the way it was reflected on the sea.

  He was looking down at her.

  His head dipped. Slowly. Slowly enough for Zoe to know that he was going to kiss her. Slowly enough for her to have ducked her head and let him know that she didn’t want that to happen and no offence would have been taken.

  But Zoe did want it to happen. More than she had ever wanted anything in her entire life. The magnetic pull towards him was so strong she could feel her toes sink into the sand as her weight shifted, her body lifting to close the distance a fraction faster, her head tilting at the last moment so that his mouth could find hers more easily.

  The first brush of his lips was so gentle. A soft touch that was barely there, and then he raised his head again to look at her. Zoe’s lips were still parted. She had to run her tongue across them. To taste him. To make herself believe it had really happened.

  He was watching her. His breath left his lungs in a low groan and Teo gathered her into his arms properly. And this time, when his lips touched hers, Zoe knew they weren’t going to be taken away any time soon. They moved over hers, the pressure a dance all of its own, and when she felt the slide of his tongue Zoe could swear something inside her body started to melt.

  It had to be her bones. That would explain why they both sank into a kneeling position on the sand, the kiss unbroken and gaining intensity so quickly Zoe wanted to cry out, but the sound was lost inside his mouth. Teo’s hands found the knot on her sarong and it fluttered against her body as it fell. He stripped off his T-shirt and dropped it and Zoe saw the moonlight bathing his glorious, dark skin. She could still hear the echo of those tribal drums as he unclipped her bikini top and discarded it. She arched back as his hands covered her breasts, the sharp sensations in her nipples so intense they were painful.

  She lay back as his lips salved the pain into pleasure like nothing she had ever felt before. She lifted her hips so that Teo could drag her last piece of clothing away and she reached for his shorts to help him. Her desire was a living thing now, the urgency overwhelming, but Teo stayed her hand and stifled her whimper with his mouth. He soothed and stroked her and made the pace more fitting to the slow rhythm of the waves beside them. Gentle and sure and…relentless.

  Zoe had no choice but to be carried along, totally lost in the sensations. The exquisite pleasure. The sheer wonder that this was Teo making love to her on a private beach bathed in moonlight. When she cried out for the last time, Teo’s cry joined hers. A sound of triumph and ultimate satisfaction. Two sounds that became one and were swallowed by the vastness of the tropical night.

  Zoe had no idea how long they stayed like that, entwined on the sand. Still joined. Finally Teo eased himself away from her but they were still touching as he took her hand again. He led her into a milky-warm sea and they swam together.

  The silence didn’t worry Zoe at all. Talking aloud might have broken the magic of being here. She’d never swum naked before and the delight of it was like a dessert after the feast of Teo’s lovemaking.

  Even then, the pleasure hadn’t ended. Teo dried them both with his T-shirt and spread Zoe’s sarong so they could lie together on the sand again. This time they simply held each other and talked quietly. About nothing important, like what Zoe wanted to do on her last day tomorrow. About everything important, like what Zoe wanted for Emma as she grew up. And every so often, when they caught each other’s gaze, they would kiss. Softly. With a tenderness that wasn’t going to ignite renewed passion.

  This was Zoe’s last night on the island and she knew she would remember it for ever. Whatever happened back home, she wouldn’t regret what they had just done. How could she, when it had been so perfect? Propping herself on one elbow, Zoe took a moment to simply look at Teo. To imprint the memory of this night in her head. She had to touch him then. She traced the marks of his tattoo with her fingers.

  ‘Did it hurt?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I understand why you have it.’ Zoe leaned over to press her lips against the skin she was touching. ‘It’s a mark of who you are.’

  ‘A chosen mark,’ Teo agreed, his voice a soft rumble in his chest that Zoe rested her head against. ‘It tells a story of the people I come from. My roots.’

  His arms came around Zoe.

  ‘Life leaves all sorts of marks on us,’ he said. ‘Frown lines, smile lines, stretch marks.’ His hand left her back to touch her head. To stroke her hair. ‘Sometimes the marks can’t be seen because they’re hidden inside but they’re all important because they’re the story of who we are.’

  Zoe could feel tears slipping down her cheeks. He was talking about her history. The things that scared her. He was accepting her for what she was. Scars and all.

  And in that moment, Zoe fell in love with Teo. So hard and so deeply that she knew there would never be any turning back. She had never, would never, love anybody as much as she loved him. She was his, heart and soul.

  He just didn’t know it yet.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ZOE looked…radiant.

  That was the only word Teo could think of when he saw her again the next day. She was on the beach with Emma and she was holding her baby close and cuddling her and looking at her like all the mothers he knew looked at their babies. With love.

  Whatever barrier Zoe thought she had that had stopped her bonding with Emma was obviously gone, and Teo’s heart squeezed from the joy of it.

  He couldn’t take the credit. The bond had been there all along but Zoe hadn’t been well enough to recognise it. He had helped, certainly, by showing her how to relax again and what family could be like. He had encouraged her to come here, to a place where it was hard not to find what was real. And maybe their lovemaking on the beach last night had also had something to do with it. Zoe had let go and allowed herself to feel.

  She had been his for the taking.

  Maybe she could even be his for the keeping?

  His heart had been captured by this woman and her child even before the magic of last night. He’d stayed awake for a long time after he’d taken Zoe back to the fale. Pacing his house, alone and…lonely. But he’d done what he’d hoped to do that day he’d been so astonished at seeing the sad, frightened side of Zoe. She was on the right track now.

  Happy.

  This was when he needed to step back. To be her friend but nothing more because that’s all he could ever be to any woman.

  But it was so hard this time.

  Zoe had seen him arrive.

  ‘How do you do it?’ she demanded. ‘How do you make babies laugh?�
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  ‘Like this.’ He scooped Emma from her arms and held her up, a chubby baby wearing nothing but her nappy. He blew a raspberry onto the soft, bare skin of her tummy.

  Emma waved her fists in the air and shrieked with laughter. He handed her back to Zoe.

  ‘You try it.’

  Her eyes widened. She took Emma onto her lap. She bent her head and blew a very creditable raspberry onto her daughter’s tummy. Emma’s eyes widened even more than her mother’s had. She didn’t shriek this time but she giggled, a delicious gurgle that made Zoe laugh as well.

  Teo’s gaze was caught by the back of Zoe’s neck. Pale, pale skin that hadn’t been kissed by the sun yet. He wanted to kiss it himself. Then Zoe’s head swung up and she was smiling at him. Right into his eyes. He could feel it, all the way into his bones. And he knew what that feeling was.

  Love.

  ‘Got your camera with you?’

  ‘In my bag.’

  ‘I’ll get a shot of you and Emma.’ He found the camera in the side pocket of the beach bag. ‘Make her laugh again.’

  ‘There might not be much room on the memory stick left cos I’ve taken so many photos.’ But Zoe blew more raspberries and Teo captured the images.

  ‘I’d like one of these,’ he said. ‘Man, I take some good photos.’

  ‘I’ve taken some awesome ones myself. I can’t wait to get them onto a computer and have a proper look.’

  ‘That could be arranged. I’d like you to see my house before you go, anyway. That way you’ll know what it’s like if you ever want to come back and use it for a holiday.’

  ‘Me too, Uncle Teo.’ Alisi’s little boy Sefa had come running from the surf. ‘I want to see your house.’

  ‘You’ve seen it before.’ But Teo lifted Sefa into his arms for a bear hug. ‘Of course you can come. Everybody can come. After lunch. Before we take Zoe to the airport.’

  But the babies needed a nap after lunch and everybody else declared it was too hot to walk all the way to Teo’s house so, in the end, it was just Zoe and Teo and Sefa who went. Sefa’s little legs got tired before they got to the end of the forest track so Teo carried him piggyback until they got to the beach, where the little boy’s energy suddenly returned and he had to run in and out of the waves at top speed as the adults walked on the damp curve of sand the receding tide had left.

  Teo held Zoe’s hand and, when he turned to share a smile at Sefa’s glee, he knew they were both thinking about being here last night.

  Being together.

  The wave of longing caught him unawares. Desire he could deal with but this was much deeper. He wanted to be with this woman for ever. To see that smile every day. To feel her hand in his as they journeyed through life.

  Maybe he was wrong to have cut himself off from that kind of love. That devotion that could be the heart and soul of one’s life and give it the meaning and joy that nothing else could replace.

  He opened his mouth, to say something to Zoe. To tell her he loved her?

  He didn’t know. And he didn’t find out because Sefa chose that moment to come barrelling towards him and cling to his leg like a large, damp limpet. Teo had to pick him up again. He was still carrying the small child as he led Zoe into his house.

  ‘Oh…Teo…’ Zoe was standing in the living area of the house tucked into the edge of the forest. The wall’s massive folding doors were open and the room and the wide deck beyond seemed to be a part of the beach. ‘This is…gorgeous. Do you sit here to watch the sunsets?’

  ‘Always.’ The word came out with a curious gruff edge. Maybe it was seeing Zoe here, in the home of his heart, obviously loving it. Or maybe it was the feel of the child still in his arms. Teo could imagine it was one of their own children he was holding. Part of a family of his very own that lived in this house.

  And it felt…perfect.

  Blindingly perfect but, for just a few precious minutes, that didn’t seem to matter.

  It mattered a lot when Zoe was scrolling through the full-screen images of all the photographs she’d taken. Teo was fixing cold drinks for them all in his kitchen and he’d been listening to Zoe’s excited exclamations.

  ‘Oh…here’s a gorgeous one of all the children swimming.’

  ‘This sunset is incredible. I think I’ll have it blown up to make a poster for my bedroom.’

  ‘Here’s Kali and Emma asleep together. They look so cute…like puppies in a basket.’

  ‘Ooh…wait till you see this one of you with the fire dancing.’

  And then Zoe went oddly silent. Teo added ice cubes to the lemonade and peeled the wrapper off an ice block for Sefa.

  ‘Sit out on the deck,’ he told the little boy. ‘That way it won’t matter when it drips.’

  ‘Teo?’ Something in Zoe’s voice made Teo leave the glasses of lemonade where they were and walk towards her empty-handed.

  ‘What’s up?’

  She was sitting in front of the computer and there was an odd stillness about her.

  ‘Probably nothing but…’

  ‘But what?’Teo was right behind her now. He put his hand on her shoulder as he leaned forward to look at the picture on the screen. He caught a whiff of Zoe’s scent and lowered his head so that it was touching hers. They were both looking ahead at the photograph. It was a shot from last night, at the barbecue. One of the table, groaning with food, with the children crowded around filling their plates. Zoe clicked the mouse and there was another picture of the children. This time it was Sefa standing beside his big brother, Maru, beneath a tree. And then a closer shot of Sefa’s wide grin and tousled mop of black curls.

  Such a happy kid. Teo could feel himself smiling. He looked away from the screen to nuzzle Zoe’s neck. Man…if Sefa wasn’t sitting right outside, he’d just scoop Zoe up and carry her to his bedroom and make love to her. He’d—

  ‘Do you see it?’ Zoe whispered. The way she swallowed was audible. Or maybe Teo was only just becoming aware of the tension in her body. He blinked and looked again. And then his hand covered hers on the mouse and he clicked through all the images he could find that had Sefa in them. Back and forth until he got to that close-up of the little face.

  How could he not have seen it? The flash from the camera was reflected in Sefa’s eyes. One eye looked normal. The other eye had a distinct white circle in its centre.

  It could mean nothing.

  It could also be an obvious sign of a retinoblastoma, a rapidly developing cancer that affected the cells of the retina. And maybe it did have one of the best cure rates of any form of cancer but this was Sefa—a child who had a place in his heart like no other.

  He’d been playing with this child only minutes ago. Giving him a treat. Having some stupid fantasy about him being part of a nuclear family of his own. And seconds ago, he was thinking of nothing but making love to Zoe.

  Blinded by love.

  For one mercifully brief but horrible moment Teo was taken back to when he was no more than a child himself. When his love had blinded him to what he had to do to protect the person he loved the most. His hand slipped from Zoe’s shoulder as he straightened. He shouldn’t even be touching her. He’d known the danger all along but he’d let himself ignore the warning bells.

  There was no ignoring this.

  ‘Sefa?’ He walked slowly to where his beloved nephew was sitting on the edge of the deck, chubby legs dangling and swinging, his tongue out to catch the drips of his ice block. ‘You nearly finished?’ Teo ruffled the black curls on Sefa’s head. ‘We’re going to take you for another visit. Would you like to go and see the hospital where I work?’

  The flight back to Sydney was the first chance Zoe got to try and put the pieces of her day back together again.

  The way it had started, with
the glow of her love for Teo somehow spilling over or melting that barrier so that she was also, gloriously, in love with Emma as well seemed like a dream now.

  With a sigh of pure relief Zoe realised those feelings were still there as they sped through the night sky into the small hours of a new day. She could see the back of Teo’s head as he sat, two rows up and on the other side of the aisle. The last time she had walked past to go to the toilet Teo had had his arm around Alisi, who was sitting beside him, sobbing silently against his shoulder. Was Alisi asleep now? She had to be exhausted after the nightmare her day had turned into.

  Just the sight of Teo’s head…the memory of how it felt to bury her fingers in his hair as she helped bring their heads close enough for their lips to touch was enough to start that melting sensation in the pit of Zoe’s stomach. And it wasn’t just that she wanted to touch him again. To be touched by him. This was so deep there was no end to the love she felt for him.

  He’d been amazing today. From that first, horrible moment of recognising the threat in that photograph, he’d been so strong. Sefa wouldn’t have had any idea of the fear dogging their footsteps as they’d raced back to the village because Teo had kept him laughing. He’d sent him to play with his big brother while he’d talked to Alisi and Rangi and the senior members of the family. And then there’d been the car ride to the local hospital where a simple ophthalmoscope had been all the equipment a doctor had needed to confirm the possibility of a potentially deadly disease. Even then, Teo hadn’t faltered.

  ‘We’ll take him back to Sydney tonight,’ he told Alisi. ‘We can’t be sure until he has an examination under general anaesthetic and I don’t want to do that here. He needs someone far more qualified than me to make a final diagnosis and start treatment.’

  ‘Treatment?’ Alisi had clearly been terrified. ‘What kind of treatment?’

  ‘I’ve been on the phone to Finn Kennedy, the director of surgery at my hospital. He’s going to find the best ophthalmologist available in Sydney. In Australia, if necessary.’