by Deanna Chase
“Link,” I said as I stood.
He jumped up, his fur matted flat against one side of his face.
I laughed. Doggie bed head. “Let’s go out.”
Talisen jumped up and shoved his feet in his boots. “Let me take him. It’s cold out. Not to mention, if Asher’s minions have found this place and have started watching it, I don’t want you to be spotted.”
“But spotting you and Link is okay?” My tone was skeptical.
“No. Not okay exactly, but I can talk my way out of that scenario. If you’re spotted, it’s over.”
I nodded and watched as my two favorite men disappeared out the front door. A stinging chill whipped through the cabin, settling into my bones. It was early spring and normal for the temperature to drop several degrees at night. With no hope of lighting a fire, I rummaged around the cabin searching for blankets. In the one and only closet, I found an old quilt and a cotton thermal blanket. Neither were enough for one person. I closed my eyes and sighed. We were going to need body heat if either of us wanted to get any sleep.
An odd mix of excitement and nervousness made my stomach do backflips. The thought of being wrapped in Tal’s arms all night made me ache for his embrace. But this wasn’t the way I wanted it to happen. Out of necessity. Not to mention, I hadn’t forgiven him for leaving me in the first place. Maybe it wouldn’t get that cold.
Goddess, I hoped not.
I pulled the Murphy bed down from the far wall and made it up with the pillows and blankets I’d found in the closet. Then I stood there staring at the bed, my heart fluttering out of control.
The door banged open on a gust of wind. Link bounded in, shaking aggressively. White flakes of snow splattered around him.
“Damn,” I muttered. Snow in the area was rare, but not unheard of.
“It’s coming down pretty hard,” Talisen said, brushing the flakes off his head.
I stood there, stupidly staring at his flushed face and the moisture clinging to his dark blond hair. He was so handsome, rugged with his stubble, and athletic. So alive. Nothing like the vampires I’d been hanging out with. David had a tan now, but he was too perfect. Too sculpted. Not… real. Talisen was a hot-blooded male from head to toe, and I wanted nothing more than to be wrapped in his embrace.
When I didn’t speak, his eyes shifted to the Murphy bed. I watched him, fingering the hem of my sweater.
He let out an audible breath as he blinked a few times. Then his face and body relaxed. He turned to me, transformed into the easygoing Talisen I’d known my entire life. “Right or left?”
“Huh?” My throat was dry and the question came out as more of a croak.
Talisen’s smile widened, and I swear I saw a sparkle of mischief in his emerald eyes. He jerked his head toward the bed. “Which side do you prefer?”
The fact that he didn’t even know seemed so unreal to me. We’d been together for such a short time we hadn’t even learned the most basic things about each other. At least basic intimate things. Though he did know exactly how to touch me to make me shiver. A tingle ran up my spine at the thought.
Stop that! The last thing I needed was unrealistic fantasies. Tonight definitely was the worst time to be picking at that thread. “The right,” I finally said when the silence became too deafening.
He chuckled and moved to the left side, kicking his shoes off as he went. “Come on, Wil. Lighten up. It’s not like we’ve never shared a bed before.”
I scoffed. Yeah, but the last time he’d held me all night, making me feel safe and loved, had been a few days before he’d left. I didn’t know if I could handle being so close to him with the mile-wide gulf still between us.
His smile vanished. “Willow?”
“Yeah?” I jerked my head up, startled out of my thoughts.
Slowly he walked over to me, holding a hand out.
I didn’t move to take it.
“It’s okay. I promise. I’ll be a perfect gentleman. We both know that without a heat source we’re going to need each other in order to keep warm tonight.”
I stepped back. “I have Link.”
He gave me a wry smile. “True enough.” The smile vanished as his eyes turned serious. “I guess I deserve that. Maybe if Link takes the middle of the bed, that will be enough.”
Disappointment claimed that deep place in my heart, the place that had been hopeful and overjoyed with an excuse to have Tal’s arms around me. I cleared my throat. “Yeah. That sounds like a good idea.”
No. It didn’t. And I would still be cold. Tal’s healing energy had the ability to warm a person from the inside out. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to admit I wanted that sort of intimacy from him. Not tonight. Maybe not ever. My heart was too bruised. Too confused. I understood what he’d said about the Void and needing to maintain his distance. But he never should’ve left the way he did.
After brushing my teeth at the kitchen sink, using a new toothbrush I’d found in a box of supplies, I crawled into my side of the bed. With one pat of my hand, Link jumped onto the bed and over me to settle in the middle. I curled into his back and draped one arm over his lean wolf body. He twisted his head and licked the side of my face in contentment.
“Love you too, Link buddy.” I adjusted my head on the pillow and closed my eyes. My breathing turned to a steady rhythm of a peaceful sleeper, but I was one hundred percent alert. Tal still hadn’t come to bed. I heard him shuffling around the cabin but was too stubborn to open my eyes to see what he was doing.
And just when I thought he’d never join us, the mattress dipped with his weight. I felt him shift closer to Link and was hit with a wave of his light redwood scent. My eyes fluttered open reflexively.
He was sitting up, his shirt discarded as he stared down at me.
I swallowed, my mouth dry at his perfectly sculpted chest. He’d been working out. And oh damn, it wasn’t fair. Not fair at all. Closing my eyes to rid my mind of his naked torso, I licked my lips and asked, “Something wrong?”
“The temperature is dropping.”
“So get in under the covers. It’s cozy in here,” I lied. Cold was seeping in through the blankets. Link kept my right hand and my chest warm, but the rest of me was complaining loudly. Damn early spring storms.
“You can keep lying if you want to, but I can see you shivering from here.”
Crap on toast. Of course he could.
“Well, what would you prefer, for me to lie to myself or bitch about it?”
“Neither.” He reached over and tugged the blankets up, brushing his fingers over my chin. As much as I wanted to ignore it, I couldn’t. His touch sent a bolt of sweet warmth straight to my very toes.
“If you let me hold you, I can make sure you stay warm and comfortable.” His expression was soft, the question clear in his gaze. Did I trust him enough? Or would I prefer to suffer rather than be forced to endure a night in his arms?
The longer the silence dragged on, the cloudier his expression got. But he never said a word. He wasn’t that kind of fae. Always helpful, always stoic. He’d do anything he needed to in order to help. And he’d do it without complaint. But that didn’t mean he’d be around the next time I needed him.
Tal slid under the covers next to Link. When he was finally comfortable, he glanced over at me. “I got the message. Really. But the offer stands. If you want me, I’m yours.”
Chapter 9
If you want me, I’m yours. His words hung in the air, taunting me. When had I ever not wanted him? I lay stiff and unmoving. If I relaxed for even a moment, I might throw myself at him. Thank goodness Link was between us.
He’d stayed in wolf form. Even though only Tal and I were in the cabin, the two people he trusted most, he knew there was something more going on, that danger still lurked in the woods. But I was much more worried about what was—or wasn’t—going on in the cabin. I had the covers tucked around me, and Link was providing a little bit of heat to my left side, but he was on top of the blankets, his body h
eat escaping into the cold room.
I turned onto my side, pressing my back to him and curling into myself. But as the minutes ticked by, I started to shiver. Link jerked his head up and placed his long snout on my shoulder. It was a comforting gesture but did nothing to warm me. My blood was too thin from living in New Orleans for so long. When my teeth started to chatter, I heard Talisen let out a long breath, but he just lay on his side of the bed… waiting.
Dammit. This was ridiculous. The wind was now whistling through the cabin. I rolled over and sat up, bringing the covers with me. “Over here, Link.” I patted the right side of the bed. He moved without hesitation, and I scooted over and slid back down in the bed.
Talisen still hadn’t moved. He was staring at the ceiling, not acknowledging me.
“Does the offer still stand?” I asked quietly. I knew I was being stupid and overdramatic. I could trust Tal. I just didn’t know if my heart could stand being so close to him. To be touched by him.
Without looking at me, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to him. The chill in my bones thawed the moment he engulfed me into his embrace. I placed my head on his chest, my entire body relaxing against his.
“You can trust me, Wil,” he whispered as one hand trailed through my hair.
“I do,” I forced out as a hot tear slipped down my temple.
“Then what’s the problem?” His hand moved to the base of my neck and down my spine, making me want to flare my wings in pleasure. But I kept them tucked to my back, warm under the covers.
I took a moment to just breathe, trying to get my emotions under control. He was so warm, so solid beneath me. Everything about him was familiar and comforting. The way I felt in his arms was like coming home in a way that I hadn’t experienced even when I’d visited Mom’s shop or her house. He was everything to me in a way David would never be. It was all clear in that moment. I wanted him. Wanted to be with him and only him. But I couldn’t lose who I was to do it.
“You’re afraid of something,” he said into the darkness. “And I don’t mean Asher or his followers. You’re afraid of me.”
My body tensed, but I didn’t pull away from him. I couldn’t. I was too weak. Wanted him too much. Finally, I sighed into his chest. “Not you,” I said by way of explanation. But it was no explanation at all. Physically I knew I was safe. But emotionally I was a wreck, and in my heart of hearts, I knew it wasn’t all his fault. I shared the blame just as much, if not more.
I’d had a lot of time to think about why he’d left, and I had to admit that if the situation had been reversed, I wouldn’t have handled things well. If he’d put himself in danger to help a vamp who was in love with him, I’d have lost my mind. He’d had every right to be angry at me. Could I really blame him for leaving such a messed-up situation? No. But most of the resentment had been tied up in him cutting off contact. Now that I knew why, I had a hard time being angry at him.
No, the fear was coming from deep inside me, from knowing that if I gave myself over to him again and our relationship didn’t work out, I’d never be the same. All I wanted right in that moment was to have Talisen back in my life. To be able to lean on him, to talk to him, to be in his inner circle. But getting romantic, as much as I wanted to lift my head and kiss him until everything else was a distant memory, was not an option. I needed my friend. I couldn’t risk losing him again.
I hugged Tal and shook my head. “I could never be afraid of you,” I reassured him as another tear rolled down my face. “You’re my best friend.”
His body relaxed beneath mine as his arms tightened around me. Letting out a soft breath, he kissed the top of my head, prolonging the motion in a tender display of relief. “Always. No matter what.”
I hiccupped on a sob, unable to calm the emotions claiming me.
“Jeez, Wil. I’m so damned sorry. I should’ve never left you in the dark.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.”
“Never again.” He brought his right hand up and tilted my face so our gazes met. “I promise.”
The sincerity in his gaze nearly broke me again, but I sucked in a breath and gave him a small nod, knowing I should promise something in return. But I wasn’t sure what. I couldn’t promise to stay away from vampires or that I wouldn’t put myself in danger, because I would. I’d do whatever it took to protect my nephew. Even if it meant fighting for Allcot.
“Can you do something for me?” he asked.
My heart stilled. There was a time I’d have said yes to anything. But now… there were some promises I couldn’t make. “What?”
He closed his eyes and curled his fingers in my hair. “It doesn’t matter.”
That ache was back in my chest. We’d always been able to talk to each other. This new, strained dynamic was exactly what I’d feared would come to pass. I pressed against his chest and rose up to meet his gaze. “It matters to me.”
He brushed his fingertips over my cheek ever so lightly and nodded. “I know, Wil. Let’s just sleep. Okay?”
Reluctantly, I nodded. He’d tell me what was on his mind when he was ready. I hoped so, anyway.
The wind was still whistling between the cracks of the modest cabin, but in Tal’s arms, I was warm and safe for the time being. Before long, my lids became heavy with sleep and my breathing evened out. I was in that world halfway between consciousness and sleep when I felt Tal shift slightly. His hand wrapped around mine pressed to his heart and then, just barely audible, I heard his deep voice whisper, “Don’t give up on us. I won’t survive it.”
My eyes flew open, but I didn’t move a muscle. My breathing hitched momentarily before I made a conscious effort to keep it steady. I was certain he hadn’t meant for me to hear him. My heart started to race. He had to know I was awake. But he didn’t say anything further as his chest rose and fell in an increasingly steady pattern until I was sure he’d gone to sleep himself.
As comfortable as I was draped over Tal and snuggled on the other side by Link, it took me a long time to finally slip into the welcome void of sleep.
***
I was startled awake by a vicious growl.
“Link?” I called as I sat straight up in bed. Talisen was already moving toward the door, crossbow in hand. Where had that come from?
“Shh.” Talisen pressed against the wall and peered through the slit of the curtains.
I swung my legs over the bed and wrapped the blanket around my shoulders as I stuffed my feet into my athletic shoes. Link stood on guard at the door, the hair on his back standing straight up. A shuffling noise sounded from outside and he growled again, this time jumping up on the door.
“Down, Link,” Talisen ordered.
Link did as he was told, but his teeth were bared, ready to attack.
Tal glanced at me. “Get in the closet.”
I eyed the small walk-in just off the kitchen and contemplated refusing but decided to do as I was told. Talisen had been right the night before. He could talk his way out of a search party, but if they saw me, all bets were off. Clenching my jaw, I slipped into the tiny utility closet and shut the door.
“Open up, Kavanagh,” an angry voice bellowed through the door.
Link’s growls grew more insistent.
“Relax, Macinson,” Tal said easily. “It’s just me and the wolf.”
Peering through the crack in the door, I watched as Tal pulled the door open, revealing a man who was clearly a vampire. His features were entirely too chiseled, too perfect, to be human. Only I couldn’t feel him. What was wrong with my vamp detector? What was different about this one? Another Fae? No. If he was undercover wouldn’t he be working with Tal?
“What are you doing here?” The tall vampire was dressed in black thermal snow pants and a matching jacket. A ski hat was pulled down over his ink-black hair and he carried a tranq gun.
“Waiting out the storm.” Tal glanced at Link. “I’d invite you in, but the wolf isn’t friendly. Better if you stay outside.”
&nbs
p; Macinson flattened his hand on the partially open door and pushed, but stopped when Link crept forward. He took two steps back, giving Link the space he demanded. “Where the fuck is she?”
Tal raised one eyebrow. “Who?”
“You know damned well who. The fae. Your friend.”
Tal leaned his forearm against the door and swung the crossbow over his shoulder. His brows pitched together as he gave the other man a confused look. “She’s with Hunter. Didn’t you see her when they got back to the compound last night?”
Macinson let out a hollow laugh. “The bitch attacked him. Escaped before they ever made it up the mountain.”
Tal’s eyebrows shot straight up in the perfect imitation of shock. “Attacked him? Willow? You’re kidding, right? But how could she overpower a vampire? That seems unlikely.”
Macinson scoffed. “You’re so naïve. Didn’t you learn anything about her when you were banging her last winter?”
I scowled. Banging me? Had Tal been telling everyone that’s how he knew me? If anyone did any research at all, they’d know we’d grown up together. Why the messed-up lie?
“Seems like you could’ve spent a little more time investigating her abilities and a little less time fu—”
“That’s enough,” Tal barked in anger. “I was there to get information on the Cryrique. Not Willow. Besides, I’ve known her for forever and am well aware of her abilities already.”
“Idiot,” Macinson said under his breath. “Well, she nearly killed Hunter. If it hadn’t been for that human we stumbled upon, he’d have slipped into an unrecoverable coma. That bitch has powerful magic. Too bad you were too stupid to unravel it. Maybe then you’d be able to do more than just watch the dog.”