He leveled his gaze at her once more, almost pinning her to the back of her chair with his penetrating stare. “I never wanted children.”
Chilled by his hard look and words, Mel drew a deep breath. Her hands felt as cold as his cold heart. She hid them under the table, clutching them together.
“You’ve made that clear.”
His voice was icy, bitter, unforgiving. “Besides, you already had a child.”
“What do you mean?” Mel’s mind buckled at his words. Had he really said what she thought he’d said? She had never told him about Cory. How did he know?
“You know who I mean. Cory Noble.” His words were hushed and carefully measured.
The restaurant noise sounded far away as if she were at the far end of a tunnel. Fear spiraled through her, twisting and turning in her stomach. Totally focused on her ex-husband, Mel tried not to cower under his hostile stare. She felt her face grow hot.
He released his piercing stare for one moment, his gaze dropping to his glass of tea. Picking it up, he drank. His eyes came back up to capture hers once again, and he set down his glass.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she hissed.
“Come, dear. You were never good at lying,” he said. “I’ve known about that bastard child since we married.”
The earth seemed to open up and swallow Mel into a black void. Her vision blurred, obscured by the overwhelming darkness. Her breath became forced, as if clods of dirt obstructed her nose. Why would he call Cory that horrible word? Bastard. Her child was not a bastard. Her child had a name and a home and a sister who loved her. Mel struggled to respond. She struggled to understand. She felt as if she climbed the edge of a slippery chasm.
“How did you find out?”
“Does it matter?” Lenny shrugged and continued to appraise her. “As I’ve said before, you don’t lie well. You have a very honest face.”
When she could reclaim her breath, Mel lifted her chin and replied to his intense scrutiny with what she hoped was a cold look. “You continue to surprise me.”
He looked pleased with himself. “I thought I might.”
Underneath the table, Mel absently plucked at her napkin. It wasn’t important how Lenny knew about Cory. Maybe he’d heard it from that lawyer he’d been tight with once, maybe from a business contact, or a friend of the Nobles. It didn’t matter. What mattered was what he planned to do with the information, and why he was bringing it up now.
When she didn’t say anything, Lenny took another sip of his tea, letting her fret longer, like the cat with the mouse.
He set down his glass, and continued to look quite content. “Aren’t you going to ask how I found out about her father?”
Fear spiraled through Mel’s heart. “I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“Yes, you know me well.” Lenny sat forward. “Like I said, you’re very transparent. I knew you carried the torch for Hendricks from the beginning of our relationship. Remember all those heart-to-heart talks we used to have? How I held your hand and told you everything would be okay? Broken hearts mend, I told you.” His eyes hardened. “I fault myself for believing you’d get over him. But you never did. When I found out about the child, well, it was easy to put two and two together.”
Terror curved downward into Mel’s gut. Her mouth was dry as she saw again in her mind’s eye the naive teenage girl gaining comfort from the older, wiser man. He’d been so understanding. So sympathetic.
“That’s what you meant about telling Jake Hendricks?” Mel asked. Her hands beneath the table trembled, her voice wavered.
“I think Mr. Hendricks would like to know about his daughter, don’t you?”
“No, I don’t, or I would have told him long ago.” Mel drew her mouth into a firm line. She glared at the predator before her. “But it’s more than that. Cory is a happy child. It would serve no purpose to tell Jake, for there’s risk of hurting her.”
“It would serve my purpose, and frankly I don’t care about your child,” Lenny said.
“I’ve known you to be cruel to me.” Mel’s eyes narrowed. “And you probably did have that horse killed for the insurance money, but I don’t understand why you want to hurt an innocent child.”
Lenny’s expression was void of emotion. “I don’t want to hurt the child.”
Mel squared her shoulders. “Then what do you want?”
“I want your help with a little business proposition.” He put his palm flat on the table and leaned toward her.
Lenny was so sure of himself. Mel had hated that self-assurance during their marriage. For most of their time together, Mel had lacked confidence. It wasn’t that way now. She’d used her newfound courage to leave him. She certainly could stand up to him now.
“No one gets everything he wants, Lenny.”
“Yes, I found that out.” He curled his hand into a fist. “I didn’t want the divorce. You got what you wanted. Since you destroyed our marriage, I think I should have a little compensation.”
Mel barely restrained her anger. “If anything affected our marriage, Lenny, it was your distance, your lack of ability to open up, to really care about another human being,” she stated. “And your lies.”
Lenny’s eyes hardened. “So, it’s my fault. Our divorce was my fault. I don’t think so. What about your lies?”
His indictment slammed Mel in the gut. She had not lied. She’d just never told him about Cory. She felt that same old frustration, that lack of control. Her marriage had been a roller coaster ride, and once she had stepped off, she’d regained some sense of respect for herself.
“I think two people are at fault in a divorce,” Mel reflected. “I was wrong to marry you in the first place. I was too young, but I tried to make it work. I just didn’t have much help from you.” She looked up at him.
Lenny made a sound of derision. “You made a fool of me when you married me.” His gaze hammered her and an odd expression marked his features. “What’s done is done, though. Right now I’m going to tell you a little about my business proposal.”
“What’s that?”
“Remember the money I owe you for the sale of our house? I need it. You don’t. Turn your portion of the house over to me, my dear, and I won’t tell Hendricks everything.”
When she didn’t speak, Lenny went on, “He’ll be angry with you, you know. He won’t forgive what you’ve done to him.”
“Jake isn’t like that,” Mel assured him, hoping to convince herself.
“He’s a man isn’t he? You lied to him, just as you lied to me.”
“I never lied to Jake. “
“Ah, there’s a fine line. Let’s say, you didn’t tell him the truth.”
Mel stared. It was as if he had read her silent thoughts.
“Hendricks won’t buy your silly explanations. He won’t trust you. You took his daughter away from him.” Lenny continued to torment her, his voice like a distant roar of water. It was as if she was in a run-away canoe spiraling toward that terrifying water fall.
“How do you know he even cares about having a child?” Mel shot back, and tightened her grip on the fabric of her napkin. “His career is all important to him.”
“Grasping at straws, darling? I’ve seen him with Cory. For whatever inane reason, the man adores the child.” He smiled then, and Mel could not control a shiver.
“You’ve been spying on us.”
“At a horse show, it is so easy to watch what’s going on. I didn’t spy on you.” Lenny shrugged his shoulders. “I observed from afar.”
“There’s a fine line there too,” Mel charged, not concealing her anger.
“Maybe so, but you might say I don’t care.” Lenny grinned. “I need the money. Now sign this release or I’ll tell Hendricks.” He pulled a piece of paper from his coat pocket and shoved it at her.
His threat was not lost on Mel. “I don’t like blackmail.”
Lenny disregarded her agony. He ignored her anger. With a vicious smil
e on his lips, he captured her with a self-satisfied gaze. “It really matters little what you like, my dear ex-wife. Your secret will be safe with me, as long as you do what I say.”
Mel rose and tossed her napkin on the table. “You do what you have to do, Lenny, and I’ll handle it.”
Her senses reeled as she turned her back on him and strode out of the restaurant.
Chapter Twelve
In the half-light of the August night, Mel entered the dim barn. Her senses had all but shut down. She was numb. Staring straight ahead, she drifted down the aisle. On either side of her, horses stirred in their stalls. Their quiet rustling and a distant train whistle were the only noises. Even her steps were muffled by the soft shavings under her feet.
Not bothering to flip on a light, Mel was guided by her need for comfort. She entered the darkened stall of Royalty’s Dreamer. The mare lifted her head and moved toward her. Mel held out her palm as a token of greeting.
The mare’s breath warmed her hand. “Good girl.”
That cozy, horsey smell surrounded Mel, soothing her.
“No, I didn’t bring a carrot,” she said to the insistent horse.
Mel slipped her arms around the animal’s neck, resting her cheek against the soft, warm flesh. Shutting her eyes, she nuzzled Royalty’s neck. It felt so good, so homelike, so complete.
Why did life have to be complicated? Maybe that’s why she loved the simplicity of the horse business. Feed, groom, exercise, muck the stalls, feed again. Get up the next day and do it all over again. Day in and day out.
Mel shifted her stance, but continued to hug the willing mare. Lenny’s revelation still held her in a deathlike grip. He knew about Cory, had known about her for most of their marriage. She’d lived a lie with him. As she had struggled to put Jake and Cory behind her, to be a good wife, Lenny had known her deepest secret. He’d known, but never forgiven her. Or forgotten. He’d held that information, waiting for his chance to use it. To blackmail her.
Mel rubbed her cheek against Royalty’s neck. What she didn’t understand was why Lenny hadn’t used his knowledge to block their divorce. It didn’t make sense. He had let her go.
Yet she believed him. He would tell Jake about Cory if Mel didn’t sign that stupid paper. Cold fingers of dread slithered down her spine. She swallowed hard and grasped the horse tighter. Lenny would tell Jake, but hadn’t she decided to do that herself? Hadn’t she concluded that their relationship must be based upon trust? She must tell Jake and do it before Lenny got a chance.
“Who’s there?”
A spray of light burst across Mel’s face. Alarmed, she opened her eyes to see a dark shadow behind a large flashlight.
“It’s me,” she called out as she dropped her arms from the horse’s neck.
“Me, is it?” Jake lowered the light from her face so she could see his features in the dusk. “Well, me, what are you doing here?”
Mel thought she heard amusement in his voice and automatically stiffened. Why did she have that reaction to Jake? Why was she defensive with him? The arms of rejection had a long reach. They had messed up her life for many years. She shook herself mentally. It was time to forgive. She needed to make the effort.
“I’m just visiting Royalty,” Mel countered. “What are you doing, spying?”
“I resemble that remark!”
He was laughing at her. Mel had often heard him use resemble for the word resent. She saw the humor in his eyes as he came nearer, and his dimple, high under his left eye.
“You’re so cute,” Mel said with sarcasm.
“Not as cute as you, sweetheart,” he replied, coming nearer.
“Oh, cool it. What are you doing here?” Although she acted angry, Mel didn’t mind his banter. She left the stall, pulling the door shut.
When she turned around, Jake was standing almost on top of her. She looked up into his eyes, and their gazes held. The light was fading fast with only the shaft from the flashlight providing illumination. But in that muted environment, Mel sensed a sudden tension. As she quietly gazed at Jake, the warm buds of passion burst into bloom within her very core. She licked her dry lips, feeling herself go warm and then hot. He continued to stare, his empty hand opening and closing into a fist.
It was as if their visual connection sobered him. Jake glanced away. When he looked back, his expression was almost tender.
“Actually, I’ve moved into the office and set up a cot,” he said. “Thought it wouldn’t hurt for someone to keep a better eye on this place.”
“Sounds like a good idea.” Mel’s eyes faltered under his disconcerting scrutiny. She began to walk down the aisle. “You’re spending the night?”
“And every night until things are settled around here.” He fell into step by her side. “I thought you went out to dinner.”
Mel avoided his leading statement. “I did. I’m back.”
“I see.”
She felt the question in his response, as if he wanted to know more. Uneasy, her nerves drawing taut, Mel fumbled to change the subject.
“Let me see your humble abode,” she said, turning her eyes up to his.
It was a mistake to look at him. His gaze caught hers again, his eyes soft. The barn was growing darker by the second. At the end of the aisle, a horse kicked at the wooden wall of the stall. Mel felt her heart almost hit the wall of her chest. She swallowed hard, not daring to look away for fear he’d think her afraid.
“Come right on in. You won’t recognize the place,” Jake said with boyish eagerness.
Passing within a hand’s-breath of Jake as he ushered her into the brightly lit office, Mel caught the faintly spicy scent of him. She paused on the threshold to try to regain her composure and adjusted to the brightness within the room. The air conditioning was on, and the room was uncomfortably cold. She shivered from the temperature or Jake’s nearness.
Jake crossed the room to turn down the air conditioning unit. Given time to recover, Mel glanced around the room. The old desk and sofa had been pushed into a corner to make way for a hard-looking army-like, canvas cot. A bundle of blankets was folded at the foot, and a pillow was tossed on top.
“It may be primitive, but it is home for as long as necessary,” Jake said, the deep timbre of his voice holding a note of amusement. “Come on in. We don’t want to air condition the whole stable.”
Mel moved into the room, and Jake shut the door. When he turned to look at her, she felt like a rabbit in a snare. This wasn’t a good idea. Too intimate.
His gaze moved across her face like a soft breeze. As she stood, returning his expectant look, she realized she longed for him, for his simple touch, for the natural feel of him.
“So, why did you stop by?” Jake asked, the gentle roughness of his voice beckoning Mel.
How could she admit she’d needed the contact and the warmth of another living creature? His eyes were too intense, stripping her too bare with a passion Mel recognized even across the room.
She turned away and off-handedly picked up his pillow. “I have a habit of hugging horses,” she joked, hugging his pillow to her breast.
“And why is that?” Jake walked nearer.
She felt him behind her. Felt the bewildering closeness of him. Swallowing hard, she turned to him again.
“I’ve always thought that with a good horse to hug,” words tumbled inanely from her lips, “you have no need for a man.”
Jake tossed the flashlight onto that sofa. “Maybe you never had the right man,” he said, the implication of his words hanging like destiny between them.
Desire knifed through Mel. She drew a sharp breath. Jake watched her as she struggled with this new, but familiar, sensation. She gripped the pillow tighter, hoping it would protect her. From what?
Herself.
For as surely as she knew this growing ache would never be assuaged without its natural outcome, she knew Jake would not make the first move.
Clutching the pillow, she raised her right hand and lightly str
oked his cheek. His skin was warm to the touch, and rough with a day’s growth of beard. He sucked in his breath. Reaching up, he grasped her hand, and held it tightly against his cheek.
“Mel.” He spoke her name almost sighing with relief.
She should tell him about Cory before things got out of control. She should bare her soul, just as she longed to bare her body to the man who held her hand in his. She should speak...now.
Jake removed the pillow from her grasp and tossed it on the cot. Still holding her hand, he drew her forward. Mesmerized by the scent of him, his very presence, his touch and feel—Mel was unable to speak. He caught her other hand and drew them both up to his chest, tucking them into his larger grasp.
“I won’t pretend I don’t want you.” His words were almost a groan.
“I know,” she whispered.
His gaze held her hostage, drawing her captive into his ardent mood. She lowered her eyes, snuggling closer to him. He kissed the top of her head, and she shivered. He caressed her cheek with his lips and her skin leapt. A strange urgency surged through Mel’s blood, blocking out all other thoughts.
Her eyes drifted shut. He lifted her chin with a fingertip and his lips grazed her lashes. She felt their warmth, their slight wetness. He pulled her hands up around his neck, forcing her to rise on tiptoe to meet his now incessant kisses. He smothered her whole face with tender offerings of love, finally seizing her mouth with his, his tongue thrusting inside. Mel responded. Her whole mind was awash with sensation, just as her body was alive with a throbbing, a hurting, and a desperate need.
His kisses grew deeper, more insistent. It was as if he had a goal—to draw her out of herself, to make her one with him.
Finally, he broke off his ambitious attack, and hugged her tightly to him. Mel thought her ribs would break. Yet she hugged him back, wishing he would never leave, hoping they would never be apart.
“I have protection,” he said against her hair. “We were stupid to do it that one time before without it. It’s lucky for us you didn’t get pregnant.”
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