He took another tactic. “How was it that you didn’t have to tell them the name of the father?”
“I told them I didn’t know.”
The answer was too simple. “So, you acted as if you’d slept around, and didn’t know who the father was? You labeled yourself a slut. Mighty clever of you, Mel.”
“It wasn’t like that, because the father was never an issue. His name wasn’t required.” She was quiet, subdued.
Jake’s anger grew. “Seems as if they would want to know the paternity of the child.”
“Not if the state had no stake in raising her. I put her up for private adoption. Her records are sealed.”
His daughter’s records were sealed, just like his heart. “Let’s go home,” he said, and slammed the passenger side door, throwing them into deep darkness.
* * * *
Things weren’t settled between them. It was like calling a baseball game at the fourth inning because of rain. Jake was in limbo. His mood was as ugly as the rain-soaked Sunday afternoon. Crossing the short span of grass between the barn and Pop’s white clapboard cottage, he wondered how Mel felt. Last night they’d driven home in silence, helped Dave put away the horses, and gone their separate ways.
Jake didn’t like it. He didn’t like their rift, but there was nothing he could do. She had wronged him. Wronged their child. He refused to let her remain in control. Now that he knew the truth, he wanted a say-so in this part of his life.
“I came to see Pop,” Jake said when Mel opened the door.
She glanced warily at him and stood aside to let him pass. Her hair was loose, not bound in a braid or a formal bun for showing. The auburn strands, curlier because of the humidity, framed her pale face. Her hazel eyes seemed wider, the circles under her eyes darker. The lift of her chin told him nothing had changed between them. For a moment, he longed to cup her face in his hands and smother it with repentant kisses. But it was a fleeting urge. He entered the darkened living room in annoyed silence. He had nothing to repent.
“No, Pop, don’t stand.” Jake went forward to the sofa and took the old man’s hand. “How are you doing?”
“Damn terrible. Like warmed horse shit.”
Jake couldn’t suppress a grin at his simile. “That’s terrible.”
“Sit down, boy. Take the weight off your mind.” Pop waved a gnarled hand toward a worn easy chair.
Jake settled into the seat and leaned forward, clasping his hands. Pop looked like a bruised basketball. His face was red and purple and swollen, especially under his eyes.
“Can’t eat a damn thing either except this soft baby food stuff.” Pop pulled a face. “Soup and mashed potatoes and pudding.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll soon regain your strength,” Jake said.
“Damn dizzy still.” Pop frowned.
“Some of that is from the effects of the anesthesia, not just the concussion,” Mel explained. “The doctor told you you’d be dizzy and exhausted for a while.”
Jake glanced at her where she stood behind the sofa, as if the heavy piece of furniture protected her from him.
“I thought I’d report on the call from the sheriff this morning.” He hauled his gaze back to focus on Pop.
“Yeah, what’s goin’ on? I feel like a horse put out to pasture. Can’t remember bein’ attacked so folks treat me as if my whole mind is blank.”
“I told you what the sheriff told us last night at the show,” Mel protested.
Jake smiled. “Well, that’s why I wanted to fill you in. When the sheriff’s men got here last night, Sam was gone. Now the state police are looking for him.”
“Damn coward,” Pop grumbled. “Sounds guilty to me.”
“That’s what Vickers thought.”
“I can’t believe that scalawag Samson was strong enough to knock me out.”
“He surprised you,” Mel said, her hand lingering on the back of the sofa.
Jake watched her fingers grip the old fabric, her eyes shrouded, her features closed. “I don’t understand his motive.”
“I’d say greed,” Pop declared. “It’s one of the oldest motives in the world,”
“But who paid him? The realtor?” Mel’s gaze shifted across the room.
“Strange things happen in life,” Pop said.
Jake focused his stare at Mel. “Yeah, I know.”
She flushed and returned his gaze look for look.
Pop glanced up at Mel. “Well, seems as if it’s my nap time. Doc said to get plenty of rest.” He grappled for a handhold on the arm of the sofa. Jake sprang forward to help him stand.
“Don’t like bein’ puny,” the old man grumbled.
Jake supported his arm as they turned toward his bedroom door. “I agree with you, Pop.”
“Nothin’ worse than bein’ beholdin’, that’s for sure. I haven’t been the best patient. Mel has been a real trooper, though.” Pop paused at the threshold of his room. “You ease up on her, boy. Give her some more rope. Things’ll work out.”
Jake wondered what he meant. Did the old trainer know about his fight with Mel? Did he know about the child?
Pop went into his bedroom and shut the door behind him. Jake turned to find Mel had gone to the window. Her back to him, she looked out at the rain.
“His spirits are good.” Jake walked toward her. “You can gauge it on the amount of complaining he does.”
“His bark is worse than his bite,” Mel murmured.
“At least he’s predictable. There’s no guess work where Pop’s concerned.”
Mel swung around to glare at him. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Jake shrugged. “Just what I said.”
She turned from him and crossed to the sofa, picking up the pillow that had fallen to the floor and placing it against the cushion.
“Sounds as if that’s guilt talking,” he jabbed at her from across the room. “Must have been carrying around a lot of guilt for a lot of years.”
Mel twirled, her eyes flashing. “I have nothing to feel guilty about.”
“In your opinion.”
“I did what I thought was best at the time. I had no choice.”
“Are you trying to convince yourself?” Jake didn’t recognize the spitefulness in his voice. It was hard for him to acknowledge the depth of his anger. Troubled, he turned from her, breaking off the confrontation and staring at the barn in the distant haze.
Mel didn’t break it off. She came at him, her voice raised. “I don’t need to convince myself. I did what I had to do for the child. She was my first concern.”
Jake didn’t believe her. He didn’t believe his child was better off with some stranger. Without him. Without her real mother. Without her real family.
He took a deep breath, and faced Mel. “Besides wondering why you never told me, I’m wondering who else is involved. Who sent me that picture? Do you know?”
Mel lifted her chin and swallowed. He saw the fear shift across her face. “It was my ex-husband.”
Jake cocked his head. “That doesn’t make sense. Why would that man get involved?”
“Blackmail.”
The word was ugly but precise. Jake frowned. “Are you going to tell me why?”
Mel swallowed hard once more, but she didn’t back down. “I told you Lenny said he wanted me to give him the money from our house.”
He took a step toward her. “But if he sent the picture, he’s ruined his little blackmail scheme. Why would he do that?”
“I refused,” Mel said. “He had no control over me. He was angry so he sent it to you.”
“So he has nothing to hold over you?”
“No, I suppose not.”
“Unless he tells me the name and location of the child.” Jake dropped the truth between them like a dog dropping a ball.
She looked away. He saw the uncertainty race through her eyes. He knew she hadn’t thought of it that way.
For a moment, Jake felt sympathy for the petite woman across from him. He wanted to go to h
er and crush her into his arms. He wanted to kiss the top of her curly auburn hair, and dribble kisses down her neck to the base of her throat. He wanted to rub against her, letting the sharp bones of her pelvis ignite him to flames. He wanted to be hot inside her.
Sucking in his breath, he understood he couldn’t take pity on Mel. Too much was at stake. “If you tell me the name of the child, your ex-husband will have nothing to hold over you. You’ll be free.”
“I can’t.” Her voice was small, like a child’s.
His anger flared again. “Why can’t you?”
She lifted her eyes to him, their hazel depths ablaze with new determination. “I hate it when the birth parents change their minds and show up to take an innocent child away from what she knows. From her family, her school, her friends, her life. I won’t let you do it. It’s not fair.”
“But I can’t change my mind. I didn’t have a choice, remember?”
“I didn’t either.” Her words were like venom. “It wasn’t my choice to get pregnant. It wasn’t my choice for you to run off to California. I chose not to abort the baby. I chose to give her up for adoption. But they weren’t real choices. If I had my way, you would have married me. We would have been a family. But I wouldn’t harm an innocent child because of our mistakes.”
“You had another choice. You could have told me you were pregnant.”
“I didn’t want it that way. I wanted you to want me for myself. I didn’t want to force you into something you didn’t want.”
Jake saw the tears pool in her eyes. At the same time, he recognized the hard set of her jaw. She wouldn’t tell him what he wanted to know. They were at an impasse.
“There’s nothing I can say to convince you?” His heart was heavy.
“Pop said something to me once about forgiveness.” Mel sounded as if she were in a far off tunnel.
“Forgiveness? That’s pretty pathetic when so much is at stake.”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
Long moments of silence shouted through the room. Outside the rain splashed haphazardly on the steps of the porch. The gutters, crammed with debris, spilled like a waterfall near the multi-pane window. Jake noticed a spider had made a home in the corner of the window sill.
“Maybe it has more to do with trust,” Jake offered after the silence had intensified even more painfully.
“You didn’t trust me when I was eighteen.”
“And you don’t trust me now.” Jake looked at her ashen face.
“How can I?”
“I’m the one who was betrayed,” he reminded her.
“I’m the one thinking about what’s best for a precious little girl.”
“Neither one of us will compromise?”
“I can’t,” she whispered. “It should be her choice, when she is older. When she is more mature.”
He looked at her, his heart twisting with anguish. “You’ve never wanted her to know you?”
Mel glanced at the floor. He saw the suffering shift across her face. “All the time. I’ve ached for her to know me. I’ve cried at night because we will never be a real family, the three of us, like it should have been.” She lifted her gaze.
“How does your ex-husband know the truth? Did you tell him?”
“No. I never told him. Somehow he figured it out, and kept it secret from me.”
“That’s a strange thing to do,” Jake commented.
“You have to know Lenny. He has his agenda. He tries to accomplish his goals no matter what stands in his way.”
Jake wondered if Mel’s words were prophetic. “I suppose I could ask him for the name. You seem sure he plans to use it against you. Maybe he’ll tell me.”
“Maybe he will.”
Silence settled around them once more as they appraised each other. Mel didn’t look away. She glared at him sadly, her breath coming in ragged gasps. Jake gritted his teeth. His heart in turmoil, he felt like a battered football player after a losing game.
Her eyes were grim. Walking to the door, she opened it. Outside the rain had intensified.
“I guess we have nothing more to discuss,” she said.
“I guess not.” Jake stepped out the door and into the storm.
Chapter Seventeen
The water from Sunday’s rain had drained enough from the sandy outdoor arena by Monday afternoon to allow Mel to give Cory’s riding lesson outside. The summer sunshine felt good after the dismal weather the day before. Mel welcomed the heat on her face, just as she welcomed the opportunity to interact with her daughter.
“Push with your left leg as you’re going around the corner,” she directed.
Cory followed the instruction, laying her leg into Royal Tiara’s side. At the trot, the gelding responded by sticking near the corner rail instead of swerving outward as he had been doing.
“Now tickle your reins a little. Get the horse’s head up.” Mel watched from the center of the arena as Cory circled around her. “Use tiny bumps. Like this.” She raised her hands to demonstrate. “Yes, that’s right. When you raise the horse’s head up, he’ll pick up his hooves higher.”
Cory came around the corner and headed into the straight-away. “Now use that whip on him, once. Push him into the bridle.”
The child responded with the correct signals and the huge horse reacted with a springier, more animated trot. It was fine to see how well Cory took instruction and how well she was able to follow it. Cory and Royal Tiara presented an elegant picture at the trot. Mel bit her lip. Would she win her equitation class at the World’s Championship in Louisville? Cory wanted it so much and had worked so hard for it this summer.
“Walk,” Mel drawled to let horse and rider catch their breaths.
Jake and Vanessa watched from the outer rail. Mel turned her back on them while she followed Cory with her eyes. Was she wrong not to tell Jake about Cory? A familiar tightness gripped her stomach. What was best for Cory? After all, she no longer had a typical family. Both her adopted parents were dead. Her new “mother” was single. Just as Mel would have been if she’d kept her daughter.
Had she done the right thing? Suppose she’d kept Cory but still married Lenny? At that time and in that same state of mind, she could have made the same unfortunate mistake. Living with Lenny would have been bad for Cory. Mel frowned. Maybe Lenny wouldn’t have wanted her with the extra baggage. After all, he’d always been possessive of her time and her attention. He didn’t want a family.
Funny thing, these what if games. What if Jake had wanted to marry her? Her whole life would have changed, Mel realized with an aching heart. She shouldn’t do this to herself. She’d beaten herself up over what could have been for far too long. She had to deal with the reality of today.
“Go ahead and pick up your trot,” Mel said.
“Trot, Tia.” Cory’s tiny voice carried in the hot breeze.
What was best for Cory now? Fists clenched to control a sudden trembling, Mel turned to watch her child circle the arena. The girl was happy. She loved her older sister, and Vanessa loved her. Cory loved Royalty Farm and the horses. She was bright and pert, but respectful of her elders. Because she felt loved. Because she gave love.
Mel’s heart wrenched painfully. She had her answer in the smile and the lift of the chin of a very confident and content little girl.
Cory was fortunate. What kind of life could Mel have given her? At age eighteen she’d had no money. Pop had never been well off. It wouldn’t have been fair to put the burden on him. She’d been fighting her own demons then, and how long had it taken her to overcome them? Ten years? Ten years and a divorce from a man who had wanted to control her thoughts and her actions.
Mel squeezed her eyes shut. It was all the more important to solve the mystery of who was trying to ruin Royalty Farm. Winning the World’s Grand Championship became critical as well. If Royalty Farm went under, the shine might disappear from Cory’s face. Mel could not control the former problem, but she had some say over the latter.
&
nbsp; She opened her eyes. “Come on in and line up.”
Cory trotted over to Mel and stretched out the horse. Strolling forward, Jake smiled up at the little girl. Mel’s heart stumbled at his sudden closeness.
“I’ll be the judge,” he said and walked around horse and rider.
Suppressing a small grin, Cory raised her chin.
“Keep your hands even.” Jake came up to Cory and took hold of her wrists. “Arch your wrists over like this.” He positioned her hands. “Nice, very nice.”
Cory retained her composure, but Mel saw by the light in her eyes. She was pleased by Jake’s attention.
“Good job, Cory. Now go put your horse away.” Mel dismissed her.
“Walk, Tia.” The girl kicked her horse out of the stretch and walked toward the gate Vanessa held open.
“Changed your mind?” Jake asked.
“No.”
He made a sound of bitter amusement and started toward the gate. His bronzed body was lean and athletic. With a pang of regret, Mel’s gaze lingered on his indecently tight jodhpurs as he walked away from her.
So, that’s the way it was going to be. Stalemate. She knew she’d made the right decision then. But what about now? She wasn’t so sure. She regretted what could have been between them. Maybe she should tell Jake. Maybe she should trust him.
“Jake!” Dave ran from the barn.
By the time Mel had joined Jake and Vanessa at the gate, Dave had reached them, panting. “The sheriff called. Sam is dead.”
Vanessa’s hand went to her mouth. “My God!”
“What happened?”
“Vickers doesn’t know. All he knows is the state police found Sam’s body floating in the Salt River in Bullitt County. Appears he was murdered.”
“How can they know?” Vanessa asked.
“He had a gunshot wound right between his eyes.”
Mel felt her pulse quicken. She took a steadying breath wondering who would have killed the pitiful little groom. More importantly, why would someone kill him?
* * * *
After supper Jake found time to catch up on his chores in the tack room, but his mind drifted elsewhere. Now that he knew about his daughter, he couldn’t remove her phantom-like image from his mind. Where did she live? Was she happy and well?
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