by ERIN BEDFORD
And yet, I had been able to stop Dharma from dumping the milk shake on Cass. In truth, that could have gone better. I still hadn’t been able to salvage my favorite jeans because of it.
I still had so many questions and not enough answers. I knew I would have to talk to my dad or Azazel to get them, but I wasn’t going to hang around her office waiting for him to show. I’d done enough waiting on my dad in my life.
Chewing on my lower lip, I considered what I could do while I waited. I couldn’t stay in my room forever. I’d already missed morning classes. Everyone was probably talking shit about me now. How I couldn’t bear to show my face after I ruined the weekend for everyone.
Like it was even my fault. Dharma, of course, got none of the blame.
I sighed and stood. Figuring I could get a smoke in before I faced everyone at lunch, I grabbed my pack of cigarettes and shoved it in my back pocket. My hand automatically went for my cellphone, but I then remembered I still didn’t have it. Something else I’d have to talk to my dad about.
Soon.
I walked out of my room with my head held high. I wasn’t about to let anyone make me feel bad about myself. None of this weekend had been my fault. Dharma was the one to blame. If she hadn’t had such a chip on her shoulder about the whole putting her in a coma thing then none of this would have happened. Which was also her fault for putting her nose where it didn’t belong.
There were a few stragglers in the hallway on my way outside but most of them gave me one look and hurried the other way. I suppose fear was better than ridicule. If I had to choose between the two of them…after all I was used to people being afraid of me.
Determined not to let it bother me, I forced myself not to walk faster, to keep an even unhurried pace. It wasn’t until I reached the courtyard full of statues that I finally relaxed.
My boots thudded against the stone walkway as I made my way to the weeping angel. If anyone knew my pain it would be that guy.
Wasting no time in lighting up, I breathed a big exhale of sweet sweet relief.
Azazel hadn’t told me when my dad would be showing up. The anxiety of not knowing of waiting for him to appear so I could give him a piece of my mind was agonizing. I’d stayed up most of the previous night’s practicing what I would say to him.
Did you ever even love mom? Did you love me? Why? Why? Why?
That was the million-dollar question.
Why?
For power? To finally take down the angels and rule…heaven? Earth? I didn’t know enough about the celestial politics to know what the end game actually was. I only knew what those books Dex gave me told me.
The Watcher would see the end of the world and change it to their will. With me being the Watcher.
I snorted to myself.
It was kind of ironic when I thought about it.
The Watcher. Really? Me?
I’d done nothing but watch the people I knew, the people I loved and those I didn’t, die over and over again until I didn’t want to leave my house. The fact that my entire existence depended on me watching the rest of the world burn was just plain hilarious.
But I wasn’t just a watcher now, was I?
My mind drifted to the library. Flames had come from me. Me! I’d never thought I’d be able to do anything like that in my life and yet…
I pulled my cigarette from my mouth and stared at the tip, willing it to burn like I’d seen Dex do before.
After a long minute of staring, I huffed in annoyance, muttering to myself about being ridiculous.
“It takes practice.”
My head jerked up and I half expected to see Dex there as he usual was, but the voice came from outside the metal fence.
“Cass?” My brows rose with the pitch of my voice.
“In the flesh.” Cass chuckled, wrapping his hands around the bars of the fence. His golden blonde hair was pulled back today in a small ponytail at the nape of his neck. He wore a worn out dark brown leather jacket and matching boots. His jeans hugging that fabulous ass as always. What surprised me was the motorcycle sitting a few paces away from the fence.
“How did you even get here?” I finally asked once I stopped gaping, then I realized what he’d said. “Wait, you know about-”
“Angels, magic, and all that?” Cass arched a brow and smirked. “Well, yeah.”
“You said you didn’t believe in that crap.” I narrowed my eyes on him in accusation.
Cass cocked his head to the side. “I lied.”
I stared at him for a long minute and then asked slowly, “Who are you?”
He opened his mouth to answer but I stopped him.
“And no lies. Fuck knows, I’ve been lied to enough these days.” I took a long drag from my cigarette before dropping it to the ground to stomp it out.
Cass chuckled once more. “Alright, then. My name is Cassiel, but my friends call me Cass. And I’m an -”
“Angel,” I finished for him, crossing my arms over my chest. “Yeah, I got it.”
He arched a brow.
“Every angel has the stupid -el at the end of their name. God putting his little stamp on all of his creations. At least, the ones he cares about.”
Cass seemed surprised by my knowledge. “What about Lucifer? His name doesn’t end in -el.”
I walked slowly over to the gate and stopped just out of touching distance. “Trick question. His name was originally Lucifer, it was changed after he fell from heaven. Before it was Samael.”
“Ah, so they do teach you lot something in there.” Cass smiled pleased at my answer.
Clicking my tongue, I shifted just a bit closer. “Yep. They also watch your every movement and put little shock collars on you, so you don’t go wandering off.” I showed him the bracelet on my wrist I hadn’t had a chance to get Azazel to take off yet.
Cass huffed a laugh.
“What?”
Shaking his head, Cass held onto the bars and leaned away so he was almost swinging on them. “Nothing, just for a bunch of rebels they sure do have control issues.”
I snorted. “Tell me about it.”
“Then why don’t you leave?” Cass stopped swinging and locked eyes with me. “Just walk out the front door?”
I waved the bracelet in response. “I have this for one which I hope to get off today but secondly,” I reached out and touched the fence my hand bouncing off of it before I could even reach it. “Can’t get through the barrier without a faculty member to lower it.”
“Ah,” Cass leaned close and placed his forehead against the metal bars. “If you could get the barrier down and that bracelet off, would you?”
“Would I what?”
“Leave.”
I gave him a suspicious look before getting as close to the fence as I could. “In a heartbeat.”
Though as I said the words guilt tugged at my heart. There were reasons to stay. Several in fact but my dad’s betrayal was hard to ignore. He didn’t even give me a choice in the matter. He just picked what side I’d be on and kept me in the dark so I couldn’t make up my own mind.
Shifting the conversation, I backed up a few steps. “Don’t your kind want to kill me?”
Cass gave me a panty melting smile, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Why ever would I want to do that?”
“Because I’m an abomination,” I supplied for him. “At least, that’s what Michael called me.”
He laughed. “Michael has a big old stick up his ass. Not all of us think like that. Besides…” his lips curled up ever so slightly. “You’re the Watcher.”
“So, you knew who I was when we met?”
Shrugging a shoulder, Cass gave me a knowing look. “Perhaps I had my suspicions and all I had to do to confirm them was to follow your little group of misfits back here.”
I shrugged. “That’s just what I was told.”
“Well…you can’t believe everything you hear.” He cocked a brow and smirked, then paused and angled his head to the side.
“Well, I better be going. I’ll see you around, Watcher.”
I unabashedly watched the way his pants hugged his ass as Cass walked back to his motorcycle. He threw his leg over it and winked at me before the engine roared to life and he drove away.
Not even a minute later Ayden came outside. “Hey, there you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”
I glanced away from where Cass had disappeared. “I’m right here. What’s up?”
She gave me a curious look but then said, “Your dad’s here.”
Well, that was convenient. I darted a look back to the fence wondering if Cass knew that my dad had arrived.
“You okay?” Ayden stepped up beside me. “I know you’ve had a rough weekend, but things will look up soon. Trust me. Plus, you’re dad’s here.” She smiled brightly at me. “That’s got to count for something right?”
I didn’t remind Ayden that my dad and I had a strained relationship at best but now that I knew he’d been using me this whole time I wasn’t exactly sure what we had anymore. Instead, I forced a smile to my face and nodded. “Right. Let’s go. I want to get this thing off me and get my phone back.”
“Ugh.” Ayden made a face at my bracelet. “I got that thing taken off the moment I got back. I don’t know how you kept it on all weekend.”
I lifted a shoulder and dropped it, frowning. “I had a lot on my mind.”
She nodded. “I get ya. Dharma was such a bitch at the diner. Then on the bus she spent the whole-time talking shit about you to anyone and everyone who would listen. You’re so lucky you got to ride back with Dex.” Ayden sighed happily as if she would have enjoyed it a bit more than I did.
“Yeah, lucky,” I muttered as we walked into the school. “And don’t worry about Dharma. She’s just an attention whore.” I told her with a shake of my head. “There are more important things to worry about.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Like that hottie, Cass, from town.” Ayden clasped her hands in front of her, letting out a dreamy giggle. “I could think of a thing or two I’d like him to study if you know what I mean.”
I winced. I did.
Not wanting to burst Ayden’s bubble, I kept silent on the whole Cass was actual an angel bit. At least, it did explain why I was so drawn to him. The whole celestial attraction apparently worked both ways on Nephilim. Too bad it didn’t make my dad any more likable. I didn’t know how I was going to get through this conversation without burning the whole place to ash.
Chapter 21
A part of me felt like I was walking to a guillotine. Each step that I took along the hallway was like a punch to my gut. Everyone stared and whispered as I walked by. No doubt talking about this weekend.
I tried to hold back an eye roll, but it was oh so hard.
Ayden followed along beside me chatting normally about what happened while I was gone, what I’d missed in class, and so on. Her voice became background noise and I stopped pretending to listen to her as Azazel’s office came into view.
“Hey,” I interrupted Ayden, placing a hand on her arm. “I just want you to know that whatever happens, I’m glad you became my friend.”
Then I did something I never did.
I hugged her.
Laughing slightly, Ayden hugged me back. “I don’t know what brought this on but I’m glad you’re my friend too.”
Releasing her, I walked over to the office door and knocked. Azazel’s voice answered telling me to come in. I twisted slightly back to Ayden and gave her a small wave and smile.
Confusion covered her face, but she returned both.
Entering Azazel’s office, I saw my dad sitting on the couch I had woke up on the first day here. I pushed back the need to run over to him and berate him with questions. I wasn’t a child. I wouldn’t get answers from these people by acting like one.
Walking up to Azazel’s desk where she waited, I held my arm out. “Can you remove this please?”
Azazel exchanged a look with my dad and for a moment I thought they weren’t going to do it. Then with a flick of her finger the bracelet fell off.
I kept the sigh of relief from coming out but couldn’t resist rubbing my wrist where it had been.
“Elle,” my dad began, standing from the couch to approach me. “I understand you wanted to speak to me.”
I scanned over my dad in his pristine suit and jacket, noticing there wasn’t a mark on him. “You don’t even look like you’ve been in battle.”
“I told you, he was fine,” Azazel interject with a disapproving frown. “Is that all you wanted him for? He has more important things to do than -”
“Azazel.” My dad’s voice stopped her, his gaze sharp on the other angel. To me, his face softened. “Elle, what’s wrong? I heard you’ve been fighting? And you caused another student to go into a coma?”
My jaw clenched tight and I wanted to glare at Azazel for tattling but knew it wouldn’t help me right now. “I’m not exactly the same as everyone else here, as you know.”
He nodded in understanding. “Yes, I know but you must try to get along with the others. You may need them in the future.”
My fingers curled into fists that I kept down at my sides. I kept my voice as neutral as possible as I bit out, “Fine. Can I have my phone back?”
This time my dad exchanged a look with Azazel and then gave me one of those looks parents do. The one that said, ‘I’m doing this for your own good even if you hate me for it.’ How he even knew that look was beyond me. He’d never acted like a parent one day in his life.
“Elle, Eleanor.” My dad sighed and placed his hands on my shoulders.
A flash of something hit me. Not like my other visions. It was only a small hit. A flash of lightning and a wing. Nothing else. It’d be disappointing except I’d never had a vision when touching my dad. Never. Not once.
“Are you alright?” My dad asked, rubbing my shoulders in what I guess he thought was a soothing manner. “Are you getting sick?”
“I’m fine." I swallowed thickly. He’d never even bothered to keep from touching me. Did he think that I couldn’t get visions of his death? Or did he just not care? Either way, I wasn’t about to share with him what I’d just seen. “My phone?”
“You don’t be needing it.” He dropped his hands from my shoulders and adjusted his suit jacket. “I’ve taken care of your friend problem. You don’t have to worry about her freaking out as you say.” He gave me a small smile obviously pleased with himself.
My heart fell to my stomach and my hands shook as I barely got out, “What do you mean, she’s been dealt with? What did you do?”
“Now, Eleanor,” my dad held a hand up and tried to explain or rather lie to me.
“What. Did. You. Do?” I practically shouted in his face, no longer playing the dutiful daughter.
Sighing with annoyance, dropping his good father act as well, my dad locked eyes with me. “I removed you from her memory. She won’t come looking for you and neither will the rest of your mother’s family. So, you can stop worry about them and focus on your studies. Here. Where you are safe.”
I stared at him for a long moment, unbelieving what I had just heard. Then a maniacal laugh spilled forth from my lips and I clutched my stomach unable to stop it.
“Eleanor?” my dad frowned and reached for me. “Elle?”
I slapped his hand away from me and swiped at my eyes which had begun to tear up. “You don’t care about me at all, do you?” I swung around to glare at Azazel and him. “All you care about is keeping me on your side of this stupid war.”
“What are you blathering on about?” My dad huffed and crossed his arms in annoyance. “You’re my daughter. Of course, I care about you.”
“Then why? Why?" I screamed at my dad, anger swelling inside of me. "Why did she have to die? Why is any of this happening to me? I'm just an ordinary girl. I never asked for this power.” I backed away from him and toward them door. “If you and the angels want my powers so badly then you can just have it a
nd leave me out of it.”
"It doesn't work that way, Elle. We can't control the future as you know." My dad tried to soothe my rage.
"Don't touch me.” I swung my fist at him. “You're just like the rest of them. Angels. Fallen Angels.” I shook my head. “Nephilim. You're all alike." I felt power build up inside of me as my insides burned. "Mark my words. You'll regret the day you ever created me."
I ran from the room before he could stop me, my eyes burning with unshed tears.
He didn’t care. Not at all. I’d hoped that talking to him would help. That I could somehow understand what he was doing. Why he had lied to me.
In a perfect world, he would have hugged me close, told me it was all for my own good and that he loved me and my mom more than anything in this world.
Except he hadn’t.
There was no use pretending like he would be anything other than what he had always been.
The hallway blurred by as I ran, my feet pounding on the stone floors beneath my feet. Tears streamed down my face as my heart pumped harder. I had to get out of the school. I had to get away from this place. I could feel that burning inside that had come before with Dex.
If my one experience with this feeling told me anything it was that something was going to get blown up in the next few moments. Except this time, I didn’t have Dex to help me control it.
So, I did the only thing I knew to do. I headed for the courtyard. It was large enough that I wouldn’t hurt anyone other than the statues and foliage and let’s be honest no one was going to miss them.
A voice called my name on the way out the door, but I didn’t stop. I had to get out. I had to be able to final…
I reached the middle of the courtyard.
…let go.
A screamed ripped from my throat as I threw my arms out to both sides. Every inch of me burned as the world around me turned to molten flames. The grass and bushes turned to ash. The statues melted in their posts. Even the stone beneath my feet scorched from the power that unleashed from inside of me.
“Elle!”
Dex’s voice broke through my rage and I turned to face him, the flames around me licking the edges of him. He didn’t flinch away.