“Why pay rent?” Jess asked. “Seriously, just shove what you want to keep in a storage unit somewhere and get rid of the house.”
“I just want to keep my options open.”
“I’m hurt that you think you won’t want to stay here.”
“Jess,”
“I’m just joking, honey.” She laughed and patted my arm.
“So I’ve been thinking,” Barney said.
“Always a bad sign.” Jessica told him.
“Shut up. Anyway, Brynne, I can overlook you being a... an eternal,” he said, and he shot a quick glance at Jess, like she had been warning him or something. “And you’re not really fifteen, so...”
“Barney, leave the poor girl alone.”
“So we should go out sometime. When you’re feeling better.” he said.
“Oh,” It took him all this time to get the nerve to say anything and he does it now? He still sort of creeps me out, even if he has been sort of sweet the last couple of days. “I’m sorry.” I said.
“See. I told you she wasn’t interested.” Jess said. “Do you have that out of your system now?”
“Are you sure?” he asked me.
“It’s just... you're my best friend's brother, and it just would be weird, that’s all. I mean brother's are off limits.”
“Oh.” he said. His smile dropped off of his face. “Sure, I get it.”
He left the room and I let out a sigh in relief. That was bad. That was way bad. I hate letting people down, but I can’t just go out with everyone who asks. Not that I get asked a lot. Barney does sort of creep me out, and he is Jessica's brother. What was I supposed to say, ‘Eww gross, you stupid freak’?
“I’m so sorry about my brother.”
“That’s okay.”
“So you want some dinner? I mean it’s just meatloaf, not blood, but it was really good meatloaf.”
“Sure, that would be great, Jess. Thanks.”
She brought me a plate full of food. She helped me into a seating position again and waited for me to try to feed myself before she grabbed the fork and started feeding me.
“This is so humiliating.” I said, between bites and with tears running down my face.
“You’d do it for me if I was hurt and needed you to.”
“I have never felt this helpless.”
“Honey, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”
We finished the humiliating ordeal of her feeding me. That is so awful. You don’t know what helpless is until you have to have someone feed you. And when she was done, she asked me if my tummy was full, then ruffled my hair when she left the room. She’s treating me like a little child.
I laid there, staring at the ceiling and hugging my doll tightly to my chest. I’m going to have to go to the bathroom soon. I guess having to have help using the bathroom is worse than being fed.
“Jenna, this is horrible. It is so horrible that it’s almost funny. I mean I’m stronger than anyone in this house, by a long shot, when I’m not hurt so badly. And yet I have to completely rely on them. This sucks.”
I waited for Jessica to come back up. I waited for a very long time, and I was starting to worry that she wouldn’t make it back in time. And when she did, she had two ice-cream cones.
“Hope you like vanilla.”
“Um, Jess, I need to use the restroom.”
“Oh, okay. Let me... let’s see if I can set these down.”
She set them on the dresser. They’re flat on the bottom, and they’ll probably stand up for a while, but they are going to drip on her dresser a lot before we get back.
She started to go for Barney, but I told her I thought we could do it without him this time. It’s too embarrassing to have him help me. And so we did make it to the bathroom. I was crying by the time we got there, and not because of humiliation this time, but because it hurt so badly.
When we finished and she returned me to the room, I had her sit me on the end of the bed so I could rest for a minute. Then she helped me dress. Rather, she dressed me. In an actual dress, too. I thought it would be easier to get on and it wouldn’t rub against any of my cuts too badly. They’re all sort of scabbed and crusty now anyway, but I didn’t want to take any chances. Plus it’ll be easier to go to the restroom next time.
She picked up the remains of the ice-cream cones, wiped up the mess, and ate what was left of hers. She offered me the one they got for me, but I didn’t want it.
“Can you take my debit card from my purse?” I asked her. “The PIN number is 1856. If someone is getting new bunk beds then they’ll need money. And get something for yourself, like some new shoes or something.”
“I have shoes.”
“Go get some nice heels. And a new dress or two, if you want. Or some jewelry, or a new purse, or anything. Get a new phone, or a new television if you want.”
“You don’t need to buy me things, Hon.” she said. She hugged me. “But I appreciate the offer.”
“Last I checked, I had something like seven and a half million dollars in the bank. And I never really had anyone to share it with before, ya know?”
“Are... you’re serious!” Her mouth was open for a moment and her eyes were wide. “Wow, I knew you said you were rich, but... how? How can you have that much money?”
“I bought stock in Microsoft, IBM, Apple, and just almost every other electronics company I could. I had a lot more, but I had a lot of stocks that went down the toilet when the economy fell apart a few years ago.”
“But... I mean holy freakin' crap, Brynne!”
She hung out with me, chatting, until I was tired. Then she turned out the light so I could get some sleep.
“Where are you sleeping?” I asked.
“On the sofa.”
“I could sleep there and you could have your bed back, if you will help me down there.”
“That’s okay, honey. I’m fine. And maybe Dad will get the bunk beds tomorrow and we’ll both be in here.”
“I’m not sure I could make it to the top bunk right now.”
“I can sleep on the top for a few days. And then as soon as your better we can switch, ‘cause I don’t want the top bunk.”
Tuesday, May 24
I woke up and actually managed to roll over and look at the clock without feeling too
horrible. It hurt, but it was bearable. Ten after nine, so Jess would be at school already. So I guess I’m on my own for the bathroom, ‘cause I’m not asking Barney for help.
I rolled a little farther, then pushed myself into an upright, seated position on the side of the bed. Gosh it hurt, but I can take some pain.
“Jenna, this is going to be bad, but here goes.”
I leaned forward and stood up. Ripping pain shot through my legs and up my stomach and chest. I almost sat back down, or fell down, but I didn’t. Instead I stopped and took a deep breath and then walked, very slowly, toward the restroom. It hurt so bad, but I made it.
By the time I was back in bed I was so exhausted that I couldn’t stay awake. But it was a huge improvement.
I woke a few hours later and, though I knew it would hurt, I forced myself out of bed to try to walk around again. I took Jenna with me this time. They can make fun of me all they want, it’s comforting to have her with me.
I stood at the top of the stairs, contemplating a descent. After about five minutes, I decided I should at least try it. I made it down five steps, then stopped and sat for a while. After resting, I made it the rest of the way to the bottom.
I made my way into the kitchen, where Barney was cooking something that looked roughly like chilli. It smelled really good, too. I sat at the table, glad to be up, but also really, really out of energy.
“Is there enough that I can have some?” I asked. He jumped, then spun and looked at me.
“What are you doing up? Holy crap, you scared the hell out of me.”
“I’m getting a little better. It was hard, but I made it down here.”
“Let me get yo
u a bowl.”
He got another bowl down and filled it and sat it in front of me. He got a glass of milk for me, and I didn’t even ask. And he got the ketchup. I don’t know how he knew, but I do like ketchup in my chilli.
I had to stop every few bites, but I managed to finish my food. It was really nice of him to get me all that, but I still don’t want to ask for his help to get back up the stairs. I really didn't think this through before coming down. How am I getting back up there?
“Um, I’m going to take a nap on the sofa.” I said.
“You want me to go get you a blanket or pillow or anything?”
“I’ll be okay. Thanks, Barney.”
I laid down on the sofa. When I woke up the television was on. Before I opened my eyes I sort of took inventory of everything. Still hurt, but I feel a little better. Let’s see, there’s a blanket over me. Barney must have gotten it anyway, once I fell asleep.
“Hi.” I said. Mrs. Sloan is sitting in the chair across from me.
“How are you feeling?” she asked. “Did you sleep well?”
“I guess. I feel a lot better.”
I worked my way painfully into a seated position. I was still chilled, so I pulled the blanket up over me and hugged my doll tightly against me.
“Where is everyone?”
“Barney is over at his friends’ house. Ted and Jessica are out getting burgers. Jess said she knows what kind you like.”
“Yeah, I eat at the diner a lot.” I told her.
“She’s supposed to be working tonight, but she wanted to stay home with you.”
“Oh.” Great, one more thing for me to feel bad about. “Well, if she wants to quit... I mean I have a lot of money, and I don’t mind sharing some of it. I just... never did before because that job means a lot to her.”
“She’s an independent girl.”
“She is.”
She very much is. Independent. And stubborn. Like she’s the kind of girl that would stick by a friend, even when everything in the world says you shouldn’t. Stubborn and independent like she makes up her own mind and then changes other people’s minds by force of her will. Like convincing her family to not call an ambulance, because the chopped up best friend is a vampire, or something like it.
“Why are you letting me stay here?” I asked her. “Jess told you what I am, you know what I am, and you know that I’ve killed people.”
“So you have killed people?” she asked. Her voice is a little shaky. “Jess said you don’t do that.”
“Not in a very long time.”
“I have a hard time picturing the gentle, tiny little girl that I know as a killer.”
“I never meant to.”
“So how many?” she asked tentatively.
“Do you really want to know this, Mrs. Sloan?”
“If you’re going to be living here, I think I deserve to know. And I think you should call me Peggy.”
“When Alejandro changed me I just did what he said. I didn’t know anything, and I had no clue what to do at all. So back then it was... I had to get blood from the source.”
“Do you grow fangs?” she asked, completely seriously.
“No. I have to cut with something. But I can just bite with my teeth, if I need to. Just no fangs. And it heals. You can see what Jessica’s finger did.” I never really like thinking about this. “But at first I didn’t know when or how to stop after just a little, and I drank too much from the first two.”
“I thought you said four?”
“A few years after that, I was walking along a road at night and this carriage, this horse pulled wagon, came up beside me and this guy grabbed me and shoved me into this wagon. He was really drunk. His hands were all over me, and I shoved him away. And he fell from the wagon and broke his neck.”
“Well that was self defense, honey.”
“Yes. And then just after the turn of the century, the twentieth century, I was caught by this guy in an alley. He saw me, he figured out what I was.”
“So you killed him? Brynne, I don’t understand this at all. I can’t imagine you doing something like that.”
“Not on purpose. I was going to run, but he came at me with a knife, and in the fight I twisted it around and he ended up... I stabbed him in the chest. And then I got scared and ran off.”
“Self defense again.” she said. Then after a pause “So why did you run off? I mean it seems gruesome to me, but I would imagine it’s an easy meal, right?”
“What if someone came by? Ninety pound little girls aren’t supposed to be able to wrestle down a three hundred pound man.”
She was tensed up, her muscles all drawn up tight and her breathing accelerated. She really understands the awful things I’m capable of now, I think. How awful I really am.
“I never asked for this.” I said. I sniffled and closed my eyes to try to hold back the tears. “I have spent so many nights wishing that it had been me that he killed instead of the rest of my family. Or even with the rest of them. But what am I supposed to do, give up and starve to death? I tried that, and it’s just too hard. I can’t help being a monster.”
“You’re not a monster.” she insisted. “You’ve done the best you can with the hand life has dealt you.”
“I killed people.” I said, dipping my head in shame.
“When you didn’t know better and in self defense.”
“That doesn’t forgive it.” I said, barely above a whisper. “I shouldn’t even exist. And I always thought I was the last, that eventually I’d die and that would be it, but apparently there are a lot of us. So he lied to me about that, too. Like almost everything.”
“Brynne, I think beating yourself up about this for what, a century? is enough punishment for any wrongs you may have done.”
She’s willing to forgive me. Why is it they’re all so calm about this? I don't think anyone else would just handle having someone sort of like a vampire showing up with their daughter as well as they are handling it.
“Jessica said you have some talents.”
“Um, yeah.” I don't want to do this, but she deserves to know anything she wants to.
“What kind of talents do you have?”
“I’m sort of fast, and I can run for hours without resting. I’m strong. Not super human strong, but very strong. Stronger than almost anyone in town, I guess. My eyesight is better than any normal human, by a long shot. I heal, which you’ve noticed. And then I can hear really well.”
“Is that it?”
“Pretty much.” Good grief, what does she want? Does she think I should be able to turn into a bat and fly away?
“How well do you see?”
“I can probably read the newspaper from a block away.”
“Okay,” she said, smiling. “That is good.” she said. “How about your hearing?”
“I... it’s good. Like at home I insulated extra just so I could sleep. And I’m really sorry about this, it’s not like I have a choice, but when I’m here you don’t really have any secrets. I just can’t stop hearing.”
“So you hear all our conversations?” she asked. She sighed and gave me a very frustrated look.
“Pretty much. I always try to ignore it, though. Usually, anyway. I was sort of listening that time when I cut my hand when slicing watermelon. Jess and I were in the bathroom, and I heard your discussion.”
“I don’t even remember what we were talking about.”
“Me. That’s sort of why I was having a hard time ignoring it. Barney was speculating that I was gay, and Mr. Sloan was wondering why I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Oh yes, I remember that now.” She looked away, a little embarrassed.
“But now you know why.”
“You could still date.”
“For a few months. And then I’d have to break up with them.” Plus, Barney was right.
Jess and her dad came back with the burgers. They usually eat in the dining room, but tonight we ate in the living room. At least I was
able to feed myself. The fries were especially good.
I noticed that the newspaper Mr. Sloan had was always being shuffled away from me. After a while I got a peek at a headline about another victim whose blood was drained. I have to do something when I’m healed.
I had to have help to make it up the stairs. I was able to walk to the stairs, but I just didn’t have the strength to go up. And once Jess helped me to the top, we sat on the top step so I could rest.
When I was able to continue, she helped me into her room. It’s our room now, I guess. At least for the time being. And there are bunk beds set up where the other bed was. I can’t believe I slept through those being delivered and set up.
“I got you something today.” Jess said. “Well, you got you something.” She held out a pair of earplugs on a string. “Maybe they’ll help you sleep.”
“I’ve been sleeping pretty well.”
“Because you’re sick. When you get better, you will definitely want those.”
“Thank you.”
Brynne, Non-Vampire (The Non-Vampire Series Book 1) Page 9