“They don’t care.”
“Yeah they do. And I want to go home anyway.”
“Oh.” I could feel my eyes filling again. I wrapped my arms around her. “Please don’t be mad. The thing I’m not telling you, it’s just really personal. It has no impact on us.”
“I didn’t say it did. I wish you’d trust me.”
“I do. Don’t be mad. I don’t think I can handle you being mad at me today. I love you.”
Did I just say that? Oh wow. I’ve never really told anyone that. At least not anyone I was dating. Not that we’ve been dating long enough for me to really feel like that. But I do. At least sort of.
“I love you, too.” she said after a minute.
“I want to tell you.” I whispered. “It’s just really dangerous for people to know.”
“I wish I understood what you meant with that.” she said back. “But you’re not going to tell me, are you?”
“No.”
“Okay. For now.” She kissed me. “Someday, though? Soon.”
“Um, I... don’t know if I can, Teresa. I’m really sorry.”
“Are you afraid?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“If it was something that happened to you, or something you did, I don’t care. Love, it’s okay. I mean there’s nothing you could have done or could have had happen to you that would make me not love you.”
“You don’t know that.” I whispered.
We walked, sort of silently, back to the Sloan’s house. Teresa kissed me goodbye, but it was sort of quick and lacked feeling. She’s so upset with me, even though she’s trying not to be.
I went inside and stood at the door, watching her through the window until she was out of sight. I tried, really tried, to keep from crying, but it wasn’t working. I was doing okay, but every now and then a tear would escape.
I turned and saw Mrs. Sloan sitting on the sofa. She was doing a crossword puzzle, but I could tell she was sneaking peeks at me. I went over to the sofa and sat down next to her.
“Is Jess around?” I asked. Even I could hear how upset I sounded.
“She’s out with Tony.” I'm still jealous. Even if I have a girlfriend now, I still have feeling for Jess.
“Oh. I’m going to take a nap. Can you wake me for dinner? I mean if you... if it’s okay if I have dinner with you.”
“Stop asking, it’s okay for you to assume you’re eating with us, it’s okay for you to come in without ringing the doorbell, it’s okay to treat this like your own house, honey.”
“Thanks.” I actually didn’t ring the bell this time. I wonder if she noticed. “Well, I’m going to lay down.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“About what?” I asked.
“Whatever has you so upset.”
“You don’t need to listen to me whine, it’s okay.”
“Sometimes it helps to talk about things that are bothering you, Brynne.”
“I’m used to not talking about them. I’ve lived alone for a long time.”
“You don’t live alone now.”
I scooted back into the seat and stared at my hands. So she wants to listen to my complaining. Where do I start? What has me so upset, really? And why am I crying?
“I told her I loved her.” I said.
“Okay. So that upsets you?” she asked. She put her crossword book down.
“Yeah, of course.”
“I guess I don’t understand. Were you lying? I mean I don’t know why you would say that if you didn’t mean it.”
“It just came out! I didn’t mean to say it, but I was upset and I just said it.”
“But do you? It’s okay if you do.”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I think so. Which makes it worse.”
“Why? Honey,” She was smiling. “Love is a wonderful thing. It’s a great feeling.”
“Because... I have to leave.”
“You don’t have to leave. You’re welcome here, we want you here.”
“Not because of you guys, you guys have been great. But I can’t tell her. She wants to know why I was so upset, and I was upset because I heard of another attack.”
“You are not responsible for that. Stop blaming yourself!”
“I just don’t know what to do.”
I sat there and cried for a while. She got me some tissues, and then she sat next to me and put an arm around me and pulled me against her. I remember my mother doing this once when I was crying about my dog getting trampled by a horse. I miss them. Not all the time, but times like this. But I’m glad to have Mrs. Sloan here right now. Peggy. I keep forgetting she wants me to call her Peggy.
“You could try telling her.” Mrs... Peggy said.
“Tell her I’m upset that some strangers are killing people in some other town?”
“No. Well that, too. But tell her your secret.”
“And put her in danger! It’s bad enough that I’ve put all you in danger, but I won’t do that to her. I wouldn’t have done that to you if I had a choice.”
“I’m not sure why her knowing would put her in danger.”
“Because!”
“Are you afraid she’ll say something and those people will find her and torture her to get to you?”
“Maybe.”
“Do you think it’s possible that they may already have seen her with you, and now she’s in the same danger no matter what you do? Only maybe it’d be better for her to know what may happen to her.”
“But... but...”
But what? I can’t think of any good arguments right now. Actually, I can’t think of anything right now. I just have no idea what to do anymore. About anything. I feel so worn down.
“I need to sleep.” I said.
“Good idea. Sleep on it. Give it some thought.”
“I feel like everything is going bad. I don’t know what to do, Mrs. Sloan. Peggy.”
“Just try to calm down and relax.”
“Usually I run away at times like this. There’s never been a time quite like this, really. I should have ran off instead of telling Jess.”
“All of our lives would have been emptier if you had.” she said. “Brynne, we all absolutely love you, honey. You’re such a sweet little girl. And whatever has happened up till now, it’s in the past. We are where we are. So don’t have regrets, okay?”
“I don’t know how you can be so accepting of this.”
“Because I got to know you before I knew you were a vampire.”
“I’m not a vampire!”
“Well, whatever you are.” She gave me a little squeeze. “You should tell her.”
I went up and laid in the bed, figuring I’d stare at the ceiling and not sleep. But I did fall asleep. A few hours later Jess shook me to wake me for dinner.
“Dinner is ready, hon.” she said.
“Thanks.”
“Mom says you’re having a bad day.”
“No.”
And just like that I was in tears again. She hugged me and held me as I told her all that was bothering me between sobs. I can hear them downstairs, already eating their food. They didn’t wait for us.
“Mom is right, you should tell her.”
“Jess,”
“You love her. You have to tell her.”
“I can’t.” Look where telling my best friend got us. “She'll hate me.”
“I know you think that, but she’ll deal with it. Or maybe she won’t. But at least you’ll know. If you tell her and lose her because of it, is it any worse than not telling her and just leaving her? That would hurt her, Brynne.”
“And me being... rejected over this wouldn’t hurt me?”
“You have people who understand and can help you through it.”
It was hard to sitting with them to eat dinner. And on top of everything else, I need more blood again. Getting cut up so badly has really weakened me. I’m healed now, but it has taken a lot out of me. I’m going to have to go looking for some more.
“Stick around.” Peggy told me, after we ate. Everyone was getting up.
“Um,” I said.
“What’s up?” Jess asked her.
“Jessica, maybe you should leave us alone.”
“Does she have to?” I asked. This could be bad. Is she going to kick me out?
“She can stay if you want her to.” Peggy told me/
Peggy cleared away most of the dishes. I tried to help, but she shoved me back into the chair. When she was done, she sat across from me. She took a drink from her glass, then stared at me for about two minutes before she spoke.
“So how much do you really love Teresa?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t strike me as the kind of girl that falls in love easily.”
“I’ve never...”
“But you are with her now?” Jess asked.
“I... guess.” I said, nodding. Didn't we cover this already?
“Well it’s important that you don’t just guess right now.” Peggy said. “Do you love her?”
“Yes.” It’s so scary to even admit that.
“Does she really love you? I want you to think about that for a minute. Is this just an infatuation for her, or do you think she really loves you?”
“They haven’t been dating for very long, Mom.” Jessica said.
“But sometimes you just know.” I said. They were giving me that ‘how would you know’ look. “I’ve seen it a lot. I watch people.”
“So what do you think?” Peggy asked.
“I think she does.” I can feel tears on my face.
“Do you really want to spend the rest of your life, however long that may be, and not know what it’s like to truly let yourself experience that, honey?” she asked. “That would be such a loss.”
“I don’t want her to get hurt.”
“She won’t get hurt, Brynne.” Jess said. She put her arm around me. “You need to tell her.”
“I can’t. She’ll... she won’t believe me.”
“Then you’ll have to prove it to her.” Peggy said.
“She’ll be scared of me.”
“I wasn’t.” Jess said.
“You were too.”
“Okay, a little, but it didn’t take me long to get over it. Because I love you, you’re my bestest friend of ever, girlie.”
“Nice grammar.” I said. She's trying to make me smile. “What if she... what if she hates me? What if she tells someone and they come for me? What if...”
“Brynne, honey, “ Peggy said. “You can’t live your life on what ifs. You need to decide if you love her enough and trust her enough to tell her. But I really think you should.”
“But... I’m scared.”
“I’ll help, if you want me to.” Jess said.
“We all will. Just tell us when and we’ll help you tell her.”
“I... I’m... I’ll think about it.” I wiped my face. “This is so hard. This is why I've always just ran off before when things got tough.”
“Sometimes the hard stuff is worth sticking around for.” Peggy said.
I sat in our room, crying and thinking. They’re right. I need to either tell her or break up with her. And I don’t want to break up with her. I mean... I love her. I do.
“Is Teresa there?” I asked. I think it was her uncle who answered the phone.
“Brynne?” Teresa said, just a few seconds later.
“Hey. So can you come over? I really need to talk to you. It’s important.”
“Sure.”
“Can you spend the night?”
“Hang on.”
She was away from the phone for a while. I guess I should have asked permission before inviting someone to stay in the Sloans’ house. I don’t think they’d mind, usually, but this being my girlfriend may change that.
“Brynne. Hey, yeah, I can stay over. What’s up?” She asked, concern in her voice.
“I just really need to talk to you.”
“I’ll be there in a while.”
I waited, curled up on the bed, listening for her. It wasn’t too long until I heard a car, then I heard her at the front of the house. Then the doorbell. Then she was on the stairs. I did my best not to cry.
“Hey, love. What’s going on?”
“I just... need to tell you something. About me. The thing I couldn’t tell you earlier.”
“Oh.” She looks scared now.
She sat on Jessica’s bed and I climbed down to sit next to her. Jess was coming up the stairs, I could hear her. This is going to be so hard.
“Jessica is coming.” I said.
“What?”
“I can hear her.”
“Okay.”
She looks so confused. And she actually seemed to be worried about me. I turned toward the door and waited. And waited. Jess had just started up the stairs when I told her, and she was taking her time and walking very softly and slowly. And then she appeared in the doorway.
“I have very good hearing.” I said.
“I guess so.” Teresa said.
“She also has great eyesight.” Jess told her.
“Good to know. Brynne, what is it you wanted to talk about?”
“This is it. Or part of it.” I told her.
“I’m confused.”
“And you will be for a while.” Jess told her. “So our girl here has some special talents. Mostly stuff that’s hard to prove, like being able to run really fast and keep going for hours.”
“You’re a fast runner? And why is this so bad? So bad that you wouldn’t tell me earlier?”
“No, there’s more.” I said. “I also am really, really strong.”
“And?” She sounds mad.
Jess said “Fast, strong, super hearing, super eyesight, can’t go out in the sun. Sound familiar?”
“What do you mean?”
“I have to...” I took a deep breath and looked at Jess, and she nodded. “Like once every few weeks I have to have blood. To drink.”
“What? Alright, I don’t know what this stupid game you’re playing is, but...”
“Can you get a knife, Jess?”
“I’m going home.” Teresa said.
She started to get up, but I grabbed her arm. She’s shaking. Maybe she thinks the knife is for her. Like I’m going to cut her so I can drink her blood. I did just say I drink blood.
“Stay. Please. I promise you won’t be hurt.”
“Brynne, I don’t know what this is about.”
“Just wait a few minutes. And then you can go if you want.”
“Just tell me what it is you were going to tell me.”
“She’s a vampire.” Jess said. She handed me a box knife she had in her desk.
“I’m not a vampire!” I turned back to Teresa. “Well, not exactly. But sort of.”
“Yeah, okay.” She laughed. “You’re so weird.”
“I heal really fast, too.” I said. I slid the knife down my arm, just enough to make it bleed.
“Brynne!” She lunged at the knife and grabbed it from me. “What the heck are you doing!?”
“Just wait.”
“Don’t worry.” Jess told her.
Teresa scooted away from me as far as she could and sat there, crying, not knowing what to do. Jess got a wash cloth from the bathroom. It had been about a minute since I cut myself, and when I wiped away the blood the cut was almost invisible.
“See.” I said. “No more cut.”
“How?”
“We told you, she’s a vampire.”
“Stop calling me that!” I slid over and grabbed Teresa’s hand. “I don’t age. Almost, anyway, so I’m stuck at fifteen. For a while now, actually.”
“How long?” she managed to ask.
“I was born in eighteen fifty-six.”
“Yeah right.”
“You want more proof? Let’s see, when you came over here the first time Tony asked you why you were so nervous, then told you to just chill. I was sitting up here when I heard t
hat. Right now Peggy and Ted are watching a country music video. You want to go down and check?”
“Having good ears doesn’t mean anything.”
“And everything else?” Jess asked.
“So what about you?” she asked Jessica. “Are you one too?”
“No. Just her best friend.”
“So why are you telling me this?” she asked. She is shaking and crying. “If you are what you say you are, why tell me? Am I like dinner, or something?”
“I would never...”
“She doesn’t hurt people.” Jess said.
“I get blood from blood banks. I would never, ever hurt you. I love you, that’s why I’m telling you. Because you need to know.”
“Okay, so now I know.”
“And you believe me?”
“I don’t know. This is all so hard to believe, ya know?”
It’s not an easy thing to prove, really. What do I do, attack someone so she can see it? I’m not an animal. I can’t prove that I’m not aging, not unless she sticks around for a couple of years. I can prove the little things, like the healing and hearing, or show her how easily I burn in the sun.
“Are you okay?” I asked her.
“I’m fine.” she said. She sniffled. “I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ve been fine for a century and a half, I’ll be okay.”
Brynne, Non-Vampire (The Non-Vampire Series Book 1) Page 14