by Lexi Ryan
“Then try just why?”
Why. “Revenge.”
“For what?”
“For the night I escaped Camelot.” I lift my eyes to meet Max’s. I’ve come this far. I might as well go deeper. I may not want to tell my story, but I need to. Have to. Max deserves to know the kind of danger I’ve put him in. The danger I brought into his home. “Revenge for the night I tried to burn him alive.”
Twenty-Four
Max
My stomach knots painfully, and I want to personally track down Patrick McCane or Patrick Henry or whatever the hell his name is and tear him apart. Not just because he came into my home, but because Nix is so terrified right now, her fear is a palpable thing.
She watches me from under her lashes as if I might turn on her at any moment, but I know this woman and I know without her explaining that anything she did to Patrick she did in self-defense.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, and Cade says, “Tell us what happened.”
Nix takes a seat and steadies her gaze on her hands in her lap. “A few months after I moved to Camelot, I decided to run away. I had to. I was pregnant.”
Pregnant. That word is just another in a long line of kicks to my gut. I don’t just want to hold her while she tells her story; I want to crawl into it and back in time so I can protect her. A young, pregnant Nix trapped with a group of fanatics.
“It was Patrick’s,” she says, “but I couldn’t tell anyone that. Regardless of how I felt about Camelot, it was Patrick’s home. He was to be the next vicar, and I didn’t want him to lose that and worse—be exiled because of me.”
I sit on the couch near her but far enough away to give her the space I instinctively know she needs. “What did you do?”
“I lied. I said I was still a virgin to protect Patrick. And maybe they knew I was lying or maybe they’re all fucking crazy, but they said they believed me and that a pregnant virgin was clearly a gift for Vicar Jeremiah. They were going to make me his eleventh wife on my seventeenth birthday.”
Cade’s looking at Nix, his face grim.
“But you were a child,” I say.
She attempts a smile. “That’s what I kept telling them, but my fate was sealed. I made a plan to run away, and Patrick? At first I thought Patrick was on board. He didn’t want me to leave, but he couldn’t stomach me as his father’s bride either. He gave me his Thurisaz rune and told me that if I was going to start the battle, I’d better finish it.”
“That’s the symbol that keeps popping up?” Cade asks.
I nod. “The night before I was supposed to marry Jeremiah, I was going to escape while the men were in the sweat lodge preparing the groom for his day. They’d been guarding me closely since the discovery of my pregnancy, and I wasn’t sure what they’d do if they caught me trying to leave. They decided his bride needed to spend the night in the church, soaked in holy water so I would be cleansed before the ceremony. They tied me to the altar, wet in my white gown like some virgin sacrifice. Patrick was ordered to watch me while the elders took his father to the sweat lodge.”
She draws in a breath, and I can tell she’s not here with us anymore. She’s there. Trapped in the memory and the horror of her old life.
“What happened?” I ask.
“Patrick left. I thought he was checking to make sure the coast was clear. I thought he was going to help me escape. But when he came back, I could hear the fire crackling outside. I could smell the kerosene and feel the fire’s heat as it ate its way into the building. I think he was on some sort of drug. Maybe he’d taken something so he could get through what he’d decided he had to do. I don’t know. But for whatever reason, instead of freeing me from my restraints so I could leave Camelot, he decided to burn the church while I sat tied up inside.”
She stares into space for a long time, then shakes her head. “Sorry.”
“Take your time,” Cade says.
“He sat down next to me at the altar. Eventually, I gave up on reasoning with him and asked him to untie me so I could hold his hand. He gave me one free hand. Smoke filled the church, and we could hardly breathe. He lost consciousness first, and I used my free hand to untie my other.”
The memory is dragging her through a mental hell, and I can’t sit here and watch anymore as she endures it alone. I scoot over so I can pull her into my arms. She lets me, resting her cheek against my chest.
“I left him in there,” she whispers. “I was afraid he would kill me if I tried to save him, and I left him there to burn.”
“But he didn’t.” I stroke her back. “You did what you had to do, Nix. It was self-defense.”
“He was unconscious. I could have dragged him out of the church. I could have saved him and then run, but instead I trapped him. There was always something a little off about Patrick, and I knew that, so maybe I wasn’t as surprised as I should have been when he set the fire. And because of that, it was instinct that made me leave him there. I was so afraid he’d never let me go.”
“Where did you go?”
“I got out to the road and flagged a car down. I called the fire department and had the guy take me to the hospital. I was having contractions, but I was only four and a half months along.”
“Did they come for you?” Cade asks.
“No, and I didn’t go back for my family. I called my mom later and learned they never found Patrick’s remains in the church, so I assumed he escaped. I was grateful.”
“And the baby?” I ask.
She pulls back and meets my eyes, and the loss there breaks my heart.
* * *
Nix
Max wraps his arms around me and presses a kiss to my forehead. “Are you doing okay?”
I force myself to breathe. Nothing is great, and yet everything is better than I’d anticipated. Cade left a few hours ago. He’s working with a friend of his at the Indianapolis PD to find Patrick. I got a lecture about how his job would be easier if I’d have reported everything thirteen years ago, but they’re going to put an APB out for Patrick. According to the hospital, he should be very weak and easier to track. At least in theory.
And Max . . . Max isn’t running away from me. Even after learning about what I did.
“I’m okay.” I nod. “That’s the first time I told it to anyone outside of Camelot.”
His arms tighten around me. “Are you up for tonight? I’m sure she’d understand if you just wanted to hole up for a while.”
For a minute, I’m not sure what he means, but then I remember. Lizzy’s wedding.
I go to the living room and sink onto the couch. “I can’t go.” I take a deep breath. This is the way it has to be. “I don’t know what he’ll do next,” I whisper. And as terrified as I am, there’s also a sense of relief in the feeling that we’ve begun racing to the inevitable conclusion. After thirteen years, I’m ready for this to be over. One way or another.
Max sinks next to me on the couch. “I’ll stay with you. Can you take time off work? We could get the hell out of Dodge. Go to Indianapolis or Chicago for the weekend. Longer if you want.” He grins. “I’m sure Claire wouldn’t mind a few more nights in Paris.”
He’s trying to make light so I won’t feel guilty, but it’s not working. “No,” I say. “You’re going to Sam and Lizzy’s wedding. You’re a groomsman, and they’ll want you there. I just need to stay away.” And pray like hell Patrick won’t hurt any of my friends to punish me.
“I understand,” Max says, “but I don’t want you to be alone.”
“If he wanted to hurt me, he would have done so already.”
He shakes his head and takes a breath. “I want you to stay with Cade. Not the whole night, but while I’m at the wedding and until I can get away from the reception.”
“Cade?” I ask. “Seriously? What happened to all that irrational jealousy you were harboring toward him?”
“Oh, it’s still there.” He smiles softly, slips a hand into my hair, and lowers his mouth to mine, kissing me long an
d soft and sweet. “I’m more concerned about your safety than I am about him stealing you away from me.” He touches his forehead to mine.
I lift my hand to his face and stroke the stubbled edge of his jaw. “Why haven’t you pushed me out of your life yet?”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because I’ve brought you nothing but trouble.”
He cups my face in both of his hands and draws back to look me in the eye. “You bring me a whole hell of a lot more than trouble, Doc.”
“Like what?”
“I could kick Kent’s ass for leaving you. He made you believe you aren’t worthy when the reality is . . .” Something flashes in his blue eyes, then he’s trailing kisses along the edge of my jaw, the side of my neck, and up to my ear, where he whispers, “You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. You’re beautiful.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “Strong.” The side of my mouth. “Resilient.” The other side. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
Then he slants his mouth over mine, and I’m dizzy with wonder, lust, and something I’m too scared to name.
Maybe I should try to convince him to keep his distance from me, but for the first time in my life, all the objections from my mind aren’t loud enough to be heard over the delirious pounding of my heart.
Twenty-Five
Max
“Stop looking at me like that,” Nix says, straightening my tie. “I’m going to be fine.”
Sam is one of my two best friends in the world, but I have no desire to go to his wedding tonight.
“I know you are,” I grumble. “But I’d have more fun here in bed with you.”
That makes her smile. Mission accomplished.
Sure, Cade can protect her, and I’m not worried about him trying to steal her out from under me anymore, but the idea of walking away—even for a day—leaves a bad feeling in my gut. How could that idiot Kent have his ring on her finger and then leave her forever when he learned what she did to protect herself? It just doesn’t make sense to me.
Three taps at the front door have Nix and I turning in that direction, but Cade pokes his head in before I can reach it.
“Come on in,” I call. He’s early. He wasn’t supposed to pick up Nix for another twenty minutes.
“We got him,” he says, his lips stretching out into a grin. “A couple of officers caught him collapsed outside Nix’s house and took him in. He’s in the hospital under armed watch.”
Nix stills next to me, and I take her hand and squeeze—my best effort to remind her she’s not doing this alone.
“That’s great news,” I say when she remains silent.
“What’s he saying?” she asks.
Cade shrugs. “He hasn’t admitted to anything yet, but that’s typical. We’ll work on him and he’ll crack.”
Incrementally, she relaxes beside me. “You have him,” she says, as if trying to process the information. “He can’t get to me.”
Cade nods, a self-satisfied smirk in place. “We got him.”
She throws herself into my arms, and I hold her while she takes in shuddering breath after shuddering breath.
“It’s going to be okay,” I whisper, stroking her hair. “He can’t hurt you anymore.”
“So I guess this means you can go to your wedding,” Cade says.
“Shit. I need to find something to wear!” She bites back a smile then rushes off toward the bathroom.
“Is that normal?” Cade asks as the door down the hall clicks closed. “I just picked up the man who’s been stalking her and threatening her for the last three months, and she didn’t shed a tear.”
I shake my head. “As far as I can tell, she doesn’t cry. At all.” I have noticed. It’s almost as if Nix doesn’t believe she’s entitled to her own grief. “I guess all this is nothing compared to what she went through as a kid.”
“Maybe,” Cade says. “Listen, I didn’t want to say anything to Nix. She deserves to have a good time tonight, but the truth is, I don’t know how long we’re going to be able to hold this guy. His recent crimes are minimal, but I’ll dig up whatever I can, see if we can bust him for something else.”
“What about what happened before? Arson? Attempted murder? Those are hardly minimal.”
“There’s no statute of limitations on murder, but attempted murder is a Class B felony. The statute of limitations on that is five years.”
“He murdered their child when he set that church on fire.”
“We could dig up the hospital record for the child, but we’d have to prove causation, which means proving he set the fire.” Cade gives me a grim nod and pats me on the shoulder. “I’ll work with the prosecutor and do everything I can.”
“Thank you.”
“I’ll be around tonight. Call me if you need anything. I don’t want her alone. Not yet.”
“You think Patrick might be innocent?”
“Unlikely,” he says, “but in my line of work, I’ve learned never to take anything for granted.”
“I’ll make sure she stays with the girls when I can’t be with her today,” I say. “Good thing you’re the one who has to question Patrick and not me. I don’t think I could talk to him without using my fists.”
“Resisting the urge to use your fists on well-deserving candidates is kind of a job requirement.”
“He fucked her up so badly,” I mutter.
Cade studies me, and the silence stretches so long between us that it grows thin and uncomfortable.
“What?” I finally say.
Cade smirks. “I’m trying to figure out if you even know . . .”
“That I’m in love with her?”
His smirk turns to a grin and he nods. “Yeah, I guess you do. Have you told her?”
I’m shit at hiding my emotions. “No.”
“A woman who’s been through as much as she has?” Cade shrugs. “Pretty sure she’s gonna need to hear it. A lot.”
I arch a brow. “Thinking of a second career as the new Oprah?”
Cade grimaces. “Fuck off. I’m trying to help.”
“Yeah. I know. And I’m trying not to scare her away.”
Twenty-Six
Max
“Can we get everyone out here for the Humpty Dance?” the DJ asks.
Girls rush to the dance floor, giggling and dragging their friends with them.
The bride grabs Nix’s hand, and Nix shakes her head, laughing. Liz, of course, wins that battle, and I’m treated to the sight of all the women attempting that ridiculous nineties dance move.
I haven’t seen her this relaxed in months. They have Patrick, and she’s safe. And she has me, and nothing I’ve learned about her past has scared me away. And for now, she doesn’t need to know that they might not be able to hold Patrick for long.
I catch her eye, and she grins and lifts her palms to the ceiling, then limps to the side along with the song’s direction.
Even while she’s acting like a goof, she’s sexy as hell. She’s wearing a dark blue number that hugs her tight curves and shows her long legs. After Cade left, she sauntered out of the bathroom in her underwear, holding the dress and asking me if I thought it would be okay. I almost dragged her into the bedroom right then and there, but Sam would have kicked my ass if I missed pictures. Would’ve been worth it, though.
By the time the song ends, the girls are laughing more than dancing.
“How about we slow it down,” the DJ says, transitioning to a slow, jazzy number.
Nix and I meet at the edge of the dance floor.
“Come on,” I say, wrapping my arms around her. “Dance with me.”
She shakes her head and smiles. “As I just so expertly demonstrated, I have zero dance skills.”
“You can stand on my feet, then.” I lead her onto the dance floor and loop her arms behind my neck.
She sighs and melts into me, her head against my chest, her fingers finding their way into my hair. “Thank you,” she whispers.
“For what?”<
br />
She lifts her head and studies me, and the hand in my hair drifts around to touch my cheek. “For sticking by me. For believing in me and understanding the terrible decisions I’ve made.”
“Not all guys are like your ex-fiancé.”
“Sure,” she says, “but I don’t think any guys are like you.”
I hold her close, dip my head, and press my lips to hers.
* * *
Nix
A dream. That’s the only way I can describe tonight. A dream wrapped in happiness for two of my best friends who just vowed to love each other forever. And Max. He holds me as if I’m something precious, and I’m starting to believe that maybe, to him, I am.
The dance ends, and though I’m reluctant to leave his arms, I’m too vulnerable in them.
“Want a drink?” he asks.
I nod. “Red wine?”
He heads to the bar, and I head to our table, one of those long, soft sighs building in my chest.
My phone flashes up at me with an alert, and I unlock the screen to see a series of missed text messages from a number I haven’t seen before.
Unknown Number: Are you done playing games yet?
A chill ricochets through me and my fingers fly across the screen before I even think about what I’m doing.
Nix: Patrick?
Unknown Number: Oh no. Patrick is with the police now, thanks to your friends. That’s fine by me since he desecrated our graveyard last night. But God will take care of him.
Nix: Who is this?
Unknown Number: Your other half. I asked God to show me who was true, and he led me to the fire. You rose from it and then again. Now come home. God made you for me.
I stare at my phone, my stomach churning and my hands shaking.