He quickly covered his crotch with his hands and shook his head. "No thank you. I'll keep my mouth shut."
Conall laughed loudly and Lucas snorted, "Yeah, uh huh."
I walked into the kitchen just as Lucas bit into a granola bar and bent down to tie his shoes.
"Do you not have time for breakfast?" I asked.
He shook his head and stood. "No, I gotta get going. But you all help yourself to whatever you want." He grabbed my hand and pulled me with him to the front door. He strapped on his shoulder harness, clipped on his badge, and positioned his gun after checking it.
Same routine as Dad. Probably the same as all the other detectives, too, but it reminded me of my father and I felt a lump form in my throat.
Lucas wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against his chest. I circled my arms around his neck and nuzzled my face into his jacket. He smelled wonderful and it comforted me easily.
"I know you are already aware of this, but don't go to your Dad's unless me or one of your brothers are with you, okay?"
I nodded, "I won't be going anywhere during the day at all anyway. I'll let them take care of that stuff."
"Good. We can go running tonight if you would like. Breathe some fresh air."
I pulled away and looked up into his bright blue eyes. "Okay. It would be nice to get out tonight. I feel like I'm dragging a bit."
He cupped my chin in his hand and moved his thumb over my bottom lip that was still a little swollen from his kiss. "You have every right to feel that way. You've been through a lot."
I didn't want to start crying so I took a cleansing breath and closed my eyes, trying to focus on what needed to be done. Dad wouldn't have wanted us to be depressed, he would have wanted us to appreciate life more and live it.
I felt Lucas' lips brush against mine and opened my eyes. He kissed me again, harder this time and licked my bottom lip before releasing me and stepping back.
"I love you, Ash," he whispered.
"I love you, too, Lucas."
He moved me to the side so I wouldn't be visible and opened the front door, shouting goodbyes to my brothers, then he was gone.
"You ready, little sis?" Fergus asked me from the kitchen door.
I nodded and folded my arms across my stomach, holding the pain inside.
He spread his arms open for me and I didn't hesitate to walk right into them.
"It will all be alright, Ash. I promise."
They were the same words my father said to me and they made me feel just as calm as they had that night.
***
The next two days went by in a blur of phone calls and planning. My father's superiors helped take care of quite a bit of the arrangements, but I wasn't given any of the details. Conall and Fergus told me that it was simple enough that I didn't have to worry about it.
Which pissed me off a little, but I decided to pick my battles.
When our cousin Mark told us it would be best to do a closed casket, I flipped out a little bit. I still hadn't even seen my father's body and no one was going to let me, but the last time I saw him didn't make me feel like he needed a closed casket.
"I don't understand! We need some kind of closure! Why are you guys fighting me so hard on this?" I yelled at my brothers.
"Don't worry, kid," Conall said calmly. "It will all be alright."
"Stop saying that!" I shouted back and stormed off into Lucas' bedroom where I stayed the rest of the day.
We had been arguing for most of the day, all of us stressed about the funeral the next morning. It was hard to be forgiving when all you wanted to do was find and torture the people who shot Dad. My brothers kept muttering quietly to each other then stopped whenever I walked into the room. They were keeping something from me but I didn't give them the satisfaction of letting them know how curious I actually was.
It was when Fergus told me what Mark had said that I completely lost it. Accused them of shutting me out of one of the last things I could do for my dad. I felt like the privilege had been taken away from me.
Lucas had come home and found me on his bed, crying my eyes out. He laid next to me, holding me in his arms for I don't know how long before convincing me to come out and eat some dinner with the rest of them. He promised to make my brothers stay at my father's for the night so I could take a break from them.
I loved them to death, but they always treated me like a child. Like I couldn't handle life and everything that came with it and I resented them for it. My whole life was spent letting them hold me back. Mom would have chewed them out for it, but she wasn't around to do anything about it anymore… and neither was Dad.
It was later that night and, like he promised, Lucas told my brothers I needed a night to myself. They argued for a moment, but something Lucas told them convinced them to give me some time. I didn't hear most of the conversation, but the little bit that I caught at the end made me wonder if they were planning something dangerous. Something stupid.
That's when I realized they weren't going to let me help. And why should they? I had no experience with any of this stuff. The only thing I was good for was being the upper hand.
Every conversation I started about helping them ended with it being too risky for me. I was the only reason they had an upper hand in the case at all. I heard the men that came into my house that night and they were convinced that could be useful. So I was the upper hand for both sides. The bad guys just didn't know it yet, or so we hoped.
My brothers were just about to walk out the door when Conall turned and asked Lucas about a couple other detectives at the station.
"Have they been giving you anymore problems?"
Lucas shrugged, "Same as the last two days."
I stepped into their little circle and faced Lucas head on, curious to find out what they were talking about. He hadn't really told me much of anything. "What problems?"
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, tugging on it before bringing it back to his side. A sign that something wasn't right. "Gibbs and Montgomery want me off the Banetti case. They keep telling me I'm compromised because of how close I was to your dad."
"What? That doesn't make any sense," I replied, shocked that anyone would want Lucas Shade off of a case. He was the best they had.
"Yeah, well, the night your father died, they showed up at the scene and tried to strong arm their way onto the case. I thought it was because they were just as mad about what happened to the captain as I was, but they have been following me around, asking me all kinds of questions about where I was that night and the nights before."
"You were with me."
"They don't know that, Ash."
Everything clicked then. These guys thought that Lucas had something to do with my father's murder which would mean they thought he had something to do with the leak. He wasn't going to give them an alibi because that would mean telling them I had been around.
"I don't understand why they wouldn't trust you," I said slowly.
"Same reason I don't trust them. I figure, the more they try to get me off the case, the more suspicious they become to me. They keep telling me there's too much evidence against me, but they haven't said much more. Gibbs has had it out for me ever since I took on Banetti and would do whatever it took to push me off of it, but my partner, Justin Rains, will back me up if it comes to that."
I was silent for the next few minutes as he and my brothers finished up their goodbyes and what the plan was for the next day during the funeral. The story they wanted to follow was simple.
They had arrived two days ago, I arrived tonight. I was going to be flying out the day after the funeral, back to Ohio. It made me look ignorant and bratty, not caring enough to show up early and stay later, but the boys were convinced it wouldn't matter. There wasn't supposed to be anything for me to stay for.
I decided to play devil's advocate and ask what the plan was for the flight out. If someone was curious enough about me, they would want the details. That's when they
had gone online and purchased a plane ticket to Ohio for the date they wanted.
A little extreme to me, but whatever. My opinion obviously wasn't going to work out for them.
Lucas was wary about who was going to approach me at the funeral and demanded that I not leave my brothers' sides for anything unless it was to be at his side.
Something didn't feel right. The fact that I had to be so suspicious when I should be honoring my father made me cagey. I didn't want to be guarded to anyone who crossed my path, but it was what Lucas had asked of me.
"Trust who I trust, who your brother's trust. It's the safest way," he argued.
"Okay, then."
"Okay?" he had repeated cautiously. Conall and Fergus looked a little wary of my response, too. They weren't used to me being so acquiescent.
"Yes, Lucas. I trust you. I trust my brothers. I'll get over it. I'm not happy about it, but what else am I going to do, right? I've had lots of practice throughout my life obeying the demands of my brothers, my father, even you. What's so different about it this time?" I gave each of my brothers a hug as I said it and I meant it the way it came out, sarcastic and bitter, but I planned on doing exactly what I had said I would. Then, I made my way back into the kitchen and finished cleaning up.
"We aren't doing this to lock you up, Ash," Lucas said from the doorway. He was propped against the door frame with his hands in his pockets, watching me move from the table to the sink, rinsing off all the dishes from dinner.
I didn't respond and not because I was being a woman about it, but because I didn't want to say anything I would regret.
"We just want to keep you safe. I want to keep you safe. If anything happened to you…"
I sighed and turned off the faucet, "I know. I'm just not myself right now."
"You need to get out. Tomorrow will be good for you in more ways than one. You'll get the closure you need, you'll get to say goodbye. You'll get some fresh air."
I nodded but didn't turn to face him and I felt his eyes on the back of my head.
"I know it sounds morbid, but since we aren't going to have anyone over afterwards, we can take you out to do something fun."
"Remind me again why we aren't doing the social thing afterwards."
He moved across the kitchen until he was directly behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Well, your grandparents for one thing. They aren't getting in from Ireland until early in the morning. Con is going to pick them up at the airport and they are going to be exhausted. Plus, it's not really wise to have a get together with everything about this case being so up in the air. It's too dangerous for everyone."
"Right."
"There's also the fact that the investigation is still going on and having a bunch of people over at the house might destroy any other evidence your brothers can find there. They have been going through your dad's office looking for any other ideas of what he found. And, none of us like the idea of you being close to the guy that was there that night. He would most likely be there."
"Right," I repeated.
"Let's get you to bed, Ash," he said gently after a few long moments of silence. Everything sunk in then and I felt exhausted so I let him lead me into his bedroom and climbed into bed. He had held me close the last two nights without instigating anything more and I was grateful. I needed to think about my dad and I spent most of the nights doing just that. I didn't have any nightmares, but I was restless. Having Lucas next to me helped, but after what I had just discovered, I felt like it was hurting him.
He was being accused of something awful, something he would never in a million years do, and I was the only one who could vouch for him, but he wasn't going to give me up to protect himself and I worried that he would let it go too far. Gibbs and Montgomery had it out for him, but why?
There was a reason my father told me to go to Lucas first. He must have wanted him on the case and no one else. He didn't know who to trust either.
My brothers will make it right, I thought to myself before drifting off to sleep, surrounded by him.
The next day only fed my fears.
Chapter 8
Lucas
Everything went smoothly at the funeral, but Lucas wouldn't feel relief until he had Ash back to where he knew she would be safe. He had watched her the whole time, in her fitted black dress, standing next to her brothers looking so small. She had stared at the casket in front of her, barely blinking, and refusing to connect her eyes with anything or anyone else. Her grandparents tried to engage her at one point, but she was too far away in her own head.
Her brothers had glanced his way several times throughout the service, all three of them had been keeping a vigilant eye out for anything out of the ordinary.
If you could even say this was ordinary.
He felt awful that there was no time for any of the Brannocks to really truly mourn. There was too much tension, too much uncertainty, and he knew it was going to make Aislinn snap, eventually. Her brothers looked upset, but they were determined to make things right for their little sister and it was in his nature to agree with them.
They were all gathered close together, waiting for the guests to leave in their cars, when Ash spoke in a shaky voice.
"I need a moment. Alone. Please," she pleaded with her brothers then looked to him. "Please, Lucas. Just a moment. I won't go far."
Her brothers wouldn't meet his eyes and neither one of them wanted to tell her no. They knew how hard she had worked to stay strong for them and accept what they needed her to do.
"Okay," he nodded. "Stay close. We'll keep an eye on you."
She didn't say anything, didn't give any kind of response. She just turned and walked away from them and toward a large oak that wasn't far from her father's grave.
"I think we have all underestimated her," Conall said, watching her lean against the tree and look up to the sky.
"She doesn't deserve this," he said to them. "Her whole life has been nothing but 'do this' or 'don't do that', all for her own safety. She hasn't really lived. Even the last seven years has been spent trying to find a way to…"
Fergus and Conall looked at him with guilty expressions.
"And now that the captain is gone…" he trailed off and looked down at his feet, feeling just as guilty as they were. If he hadn't been so selfish, so incredibly terrified of his feelings for her, she wouldn't have spent the last seven years of her life feeling like a child in the middle of nowhere. She wouldn't have missed so much time with her dad.
"You're right, Luke," they muttered.
Justin walked up to their circle then and greeted them with a sympathetic smile. "My best wishes go out to you all. I wish we could figure this shit out sooner rather than later."
"Thanks," both Conall and Fergus said in unison.
"That sister of yours seems to be as stoic as you boys," he said and Lucas felt his fists clench. Justin was looking her way appreciatively, but her brothers and Lucas each gave the man a hard look.
"She is," Fergus bit out, "doesn't mean you need to stare at her like a horny teenager."
Justin lifted his hands, palms out, in surrender. "Hey, I mean no harm. She's beautiful. You guys should be proud of that." He glanced at Lucas and sighed. "You talk to her much, Shade?"
He could only nod.
"That's good. She going to stick around for a while?"
He realized he was being an asshole. The man was only trying to be friendly and they were all treating him like he was going to grab Ash and run. He worked with the man almost every day and he was a genuine person, only concerned about how the rest of them were dealing, especially Lucas.
"Nah, man. She is leaving tomorrow morning," Fergus replied, obviously softening up to the guy like he had.
"That's too bad. Would be nice to spend some time together as a family, right? How long have you all been apart?"
Her brothers dove in to the conversation with Justin and asked their own questions about what it was like to work with Lucas Shade
. Before the man could say anything, they told him how sorry they were that he had to endure every day with an 'ornery bastard like Luke' and it was like they had all been friends forever.
Lucas glanced over to where Ash was still standing, but she wasn't alone anymore and he felt his blood boil. He wasn't doing his job.
Gibbs and Montgomery were talking to her and her back was turned to Lucas so he couldn't see if what they were saying was making her upset or not. He didn't hesitate to make his way towards them and he noticed her brothers stiffen when they turned and saw what he saw, but they stayed back.
He heard her voice before he got to her and she sounded pissed. "How dare you accuse him of that. He would never do anything to jeopardize his job or the people he cares about."
Gibbs was watching him approach and smiled like the cat who ate the canary. "All we are asking is that you be cautious around him. We know you are leaving tomorrow, but you can't be too careful."
"Too careful about what, asshole?" he said menacingly.
Ash let him step in front of her, blocking her view of the two men he wanted to open a hole for and bury in this very spot. He felt one of her hands grip the back of his jacket and just about lost it. He may not have gotten along with either one of them, but he thought they had enough respect to let the captain's family be and not cause them anymore issues. Guess he was wrong.
"You. It's only a matter of time, Shade. You are the number one suspect for us."
"Well, it's too bad you aren't in charge of this case then, huh?"
"Doesn't matter. The evidence is piling up. We just wanted to make sure Ms. Brannock knows who she is dealing with." He tilted his head so he could see Ash, "My offer still stands, ma'am. I would be happy to escort you to the airport, for your own safety, of course."
She scoffed a retort back to him, but only Lucas heard her and his lips twitched at the filthy words that left her mouth.
Gibbs just kept smiling at her and Lucas was barely able to contain himself. His fist wanted contact with the shithead's face, but he held back, knowing it would only upset Ash more. Montgomery looked warily between the two of them and excused himself before walking away from the potential brawl.
Leverage (The Brannock Siblings) Page 11