by Layla James
“At least he told you bye,” Liam whispers.
My heart thumps an extra beat. Like Liam’s mom done him. “Um…I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about that.”
Liam bumps his shoulder into mine. “It’s okay; it was a long time ago. I barely remember it.”
“It still hurts,” I say. I mean it as a question but I already know the answer.
“It does.”
“Have you…have you tried to contact her?”
“Don’t know how,” he takes a bite of hot dog, “don’t know her address, where she went, her cell phone or anything. I don’t even really know if she is alive.”
“You know her name, right?”
“Yeah, Mary Beth.”
“Last name?”
“Well, it was Erickson, but I’m not sure if her and my dad are even officially divorced or not. I guess they would have to if Dad married the Barbie Clone. He never talks about her. He never told me why she left or where he thought she might have gone.”
“You asked him anything about her?” I take the last bite of my hot dog.
He shakes his head. “Nope, I did when I was younger. He ignored me. Now, he is never home and bitch queen is always there. So, I just stopped asking.”
“She is kind of a bitch,” I say. “Just saying.”
“Talking dirty today,” Liam says, smiling.
“I cuss sometimes.”
“Sometimes?”
“I said shit that one time.”
Liam throws his head back and laughs. “When you can count on your fingers how many times you’ve cussed, you cannot say you cuss.”
I laugh. “I’m not as good as you think.”
“How do you know I think you’re good?”
“You wouldn’t have agreed to this. You know being with me will give you a break with your teachers. Someone like you just doesn’t date someone like me.”
Liam makes a small sound in his throat that I don’t know what it means. “That’s not true…” he stops. I am hanging on his words. I want to shake them out of him. But his lips are shut tight.
“What is true?” I ask.
He closes his eyes, shaking his head. “Nothing.”
Agh! I look out over the ocean. I can’t look at him. What was he going to say? I change the subject. “I think we should try and find your Mom.”
Liam is too quiet. I look over at him. He is staring at me. His grey eyes so…beautiful. “No,” he says, shaking his head back and forth.
“No? Why not?”
“I don’t want to,” he says, trying to stand up. I grab his arm, pulling him back down. He stiffens at my touch.
“I know it’s scary, but just think about it. We might find something. We might find her. That would be great right?”
“Yeah, but what if she doesn’t want to see me?” he whispers.
That’s the reason. He is scared. “Look at you,” I say; poking a finger at his chest, “you’re awesome. There is no way she would not want to see you.”
He smirks, bringing a dimple up on his cheek. “I am pretty awesome, aren’t I?”
“Don’t push it.”
He laughs. “Maybe,” he says, hesitantly. “Maybe.”
“That’s a start.”
He throws a piece of napkin at my face. “So, little bear, about this dance…”
I throw the napkin back at him. “We don’t have to go to that thing,” I say. “Jen just wants to live out her dreams through me. Her parents are like drill sergeants.”
“But, little bear, what would people say if Avalon High School’s newest couple didn’t show up for the Homecoming dance?”
I smile. “You want to go?”
“Never been, first time for everything, right?” He digs his fingers into the sand.
“Right.” I know I’m smiling like a Chester cat but I can’t help it.
Liam rolls his eyes, reaching up and pouring sand on my hair. “Hey!” I yell. I pick up a hand full and sprinkle it on his head.
He looks back up at me, shaking his hair, sand flying everywhere. “You better run,” he says.
I yelp out, jumping up running away from him. The sand is weighing me down, but I dig harder anyway. I get to the water, when Liam wraps his arms around my waist, swinging me around. He is moving toward the water. “No,” I yell. “Please.” I’m laughing so it’s coming out in gasp. “No!”
Liam walks knee deep and tosses me into the water, my head dunking under. “Shit!” I yell. “It’s cold.”
Liam is smiling. “Well, not such a goody-goody, today, are we? You are getting close to counting on two hands now.” He wiggles his fingers in front of him before offering me his hand. I try to pull him down with me, but he laughs, pulling me out, effortlessly.
My clothes are drenched. I look down. My shirt is stuck to me and I’m freezing. Liam’s eyes meet mine. “Um,” he says, shaking his head. “Here,” he takes off his shirt, handing it to me. I take it. I turn my back to him; slip my wet shirt off and into his warm one.
He is standing behind me, hands in his pockets. My eyes travel down his chest. Oh, shit. I want to run my fingers down his wash board abs. He is tan, hard and…I’ll say it, sexy as hell. I will myself to stop checking him out right in front of him.
“See something you like?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I say.
Liam cocks an eyebrow.
I step toward him, mouth close to his. When he reaches for my waist, I push him down into the water.
“I’m gonna’ beat your ass,” he yells, as I run toward the blanket.
I lie down on the blanket and laugh. It feels good. Liam’s pants are soaking wet when he gets to me. He looks down at me, smiling. “You asked for it,” I say.
He tilts his head to the side, dropping to his knees. I sit up, but he pushes me back down. He reaches for my ribs. I start to laugh. “No, stop,” I say, laughing. He digs his fingers into my side, tickling me. My dad use to tickle me so hard, I would laugh until I cried.
“Say you’re sorry,” he says, smiling.
“No!” I yell. “Stop.”
“Say it,” he says.
“Sorry! Mercy! Uncle!”
He stops, looking down at me. I’m still out of breath. Liam is laughing along with me. “You asked for it,” he says.
I suddenly realize how this looks. Liam is sitting so close to me, his legs touching mine. His face turns serious. Liam’s lips part. I want to kiss him. I want him to kiss me. I just want him. He leans down a few inches, until he is hovering over me. Ah, hell. His fingers brush against my jaw. It sends shivers down my body. I moan. I don’t know where it comes from, but it just happens. Loudly. I know he hears it.
Liam snatches his hand back, shaking his head. “Um, I’m going to go throw away our trash. I’ll meet you at the Jeep.” Liam grabs the remains of our napkins and walks toward the trashcan.
I can barely make myself move. What just happened? Was Liam going to kiss me? Was he going to hold me? I sit up and look over toward him; he isn’t looking back, only walking quickly toward a trash barrel. I close my eyes. Don’t let yourself care Katy. Suck it up. I chased him away. Jeez, way to go, Katy.
I grab the blanket and fold it up. I walk back to the Jeep alone. Try to act normal. I wait by the passenger side door, leaning against it. Liam walks toward the Jeep, hands in his wet jeans pocket. He doesn’t look right at me. It’s like he is afraid I’ll turn him to stone.
“Ready to go?” Liam asks, unlocking the door. I nod, pulling myself up into the Jeep. Liam’s eyes are wide, his shirt still off, and his pants soaked. I want to say something. I want to make him talk to me. Had he wanted to kiss me? Was it just in the moment? Did my dang moaning like an idiot scare him?
God, I hope it’s none of that.
I give Liam a sideways glance. He is staring forward. He doesn’t look at me. I bite my lip, looking out the passenger side window. This is awkward.
The ride home is silent. Liam turns up the radio, but it doesn’t seem like he is
even paying attention to it. He just stares forward. I sigh. I’ve never known Liam to stay quiet this long.
When we pull into the driveway, Dad’s SUV isn’t there. I’m half relieved. “Um, so, I had fun. Thank you,” I say, lowly.
Liam looks over at me. “I’m glad you did. You needed a break.”
I nod. “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?” I have my hand on the door handle. He doesn’t stop me.
“Tomorrow is school,” he says.
“Yep.”
“Well, see ya then,” he says, looking out his window. I want to grab him, hug him or touch him. But he is looking the other way. He wants me to leave. I do. I get out, waving at him, while he drives away. I walk over to my bag sitting in the grass. Mom didn’t pick it up? Something must be wrong.
I hesitantly open the door. Mom is sitting at the kitchen table when I walk in. Her eyes are glazed over. Her face emotionless. Her hair looks like a bird’s nest.
“Momma?” I ask.
She glances up at me. “Katy, you’re home…where have you been?”
“With Liam. We went to the beach for a little while.”
She glances down at my shirt. “Is that your shirt?”
I shake my head. “Liam’s, I got mine wet, he let me have his.” She nods, staring into space. “Are you okay? What’s the matter?”
She places her hands over her face. She lets out a small sob. I walk toward her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. They’re shaking. “Momma,” I say.
“He is leaving. Really leaving. I knew he would some day. I knew we didn’t love each other like we should, but it…it’s happening. I’m going to be alone. I won’t wake up to him anymore. ”
I squeeze my mom tighter. God, I’ve been so selfish. I haven’t even considered my mom’s feelings. It’s all about me. She is losing her husband. She is losing twenty years of her life.
“I just don’t know where everything went wrong. It just happened. He didn’t care, I didn’t care. We barely spent time together. It became routine being together.”
I clear my throat and run my fingers through my mom’s hair. “This happens every day. People fall in and out of love. It’s as simple as turning a switch on and off. I know Daddy and you love each other, but sometimes it’s easier to love someone and not be with them. Does that make any sense?”
She smiles into my shoulder. “Yes and no. It just hurts, that’s all. He said you ran off today.” She pulls back to look at me. “I know this is probably going to be hard for you, but we can handle it. We can get through this all by ourselves. We will have each other. `”
I nod. “I know we can. We just have to believe that we can.”
She nods, pulls me down onto her lap and strokes her fingers through my hair. “I’m the one supposed to be giving you advice, not the other way around.” She smiles. “When did you get so smart on relationships?”
I shrug. “I’m not, believe me.” I have a pretend relationship right now, I do not need to give anyone advice.
Mom wipes her eyes. “How are things at school? With Jennifer, Hayden…Liam?”
I twist in her lap. I desperately want to get away from her now. The mother daughter moment seems to have gone from lovey to uncomfortable. “Um, things are fine. Hayden is jealous.”
Mom lifts an eyebrow. “You aren’t trying to make him jealous are you? Because, as your Mom I have to tell you that is never a good idea.”
Yes. “No. It’s just kind of a perk that comes along with it. He even bumped into Liam and me today when we were…” I trail off. Shit. Mom doesn’t need to know the gory details.
“When you were what?” she asks.
“Talking in the hallway…hey, I guess I’m going to head on upstairs to work on some homework.” That does not exist.
She lifts an eyebrow. “I told you he was cute,” she says. “I knew you two liked each other. I can tell by the way he looks at you.”
Looks at…me? He doesn’t, does he? My heart flips in my chest. My stomach feels like bees are swarming inside of it. “How does he…look at me?”
Mom smiles. “He is your boyfriend. You see how he looks at you.”
But, it’s just pretend. “Yeah, I guess sometimes, it just happens.”
“Oh,” Mom says, standing up. She rummages around in her purse. “Jennifer called and told Dad about the dance this Friday.” She pulls out a wad of cash. “Dad left this for you. Jennifer explained how extremely important it is for you to have the ultimately perfect, sexy dress for homecoming. Her words not mine.”
I grab the money. “Thanks Mom.”
“Thank your Dad.”
Maybe later. “Talk to you later.”
Chapter Six
“Come on, try the one with the sides out,” Jennifer says, pushing me into the dressing room.
I groan. She is really bossy. “I’ll look like a baby prostitute,” I whine.
“You’ll look hot. Believe me I know fashion.” She twirls around showing off her kitten sweater. “You may not be able to tell because my mother still dresses me, but one day…” she says.
I laugh and lock the dressing room door. I slip into the dress, zipping myself up. “So, what are you wearing?” I ask through the door.
“Oh, I’m not going,” Jennifer says.
What? “What? You’re making me go and you’re not even going? Why aren’t you going?” I ask, stepping out of the dressing room. Jennifer gasps.
“First off, my mother would have a stroke. Secondly, no one asked me. Thirdly, if they did my mother would make me say no.” She puts her hand on her hip. “You know this, now spin.” I spin a circle. “Until then, I will live my dreams through you, my young child.” Jennifer is smiling. “You look amazing. Stunning.”
“I feel like a prostitute.” This is a little bit of a lie. The dress fits to me perfectly. It’s to the knee, well fitted and a hole cut out of each side. I swirl to each side, looking at myself.
“You look hot. Stop being so damn dramatic. Liam is going to love you in this.”
There that name is again…Liam. He has barely talked to me since our ‘moment’ at the beach. He walks beside me, talks to me, picks me up, but something isn’t right. He is being quiet. Too quiet. It makes me want to look as hot as I can. Maybe that will get him talking?
“Yeah, he will, won’t he?” I ask.
She nods, smiling like a lunatic. “So, I talked to him and told him to get a wrist corsage with black ribbon,” she says.
“I haven’t even bought the dress yet, Jennifer,” I say, admiring the way it barely hits my knee.
“Yes, but I hid this dress in the back just for you. I knew you’d get it.” Jen smiles.
I laugh. “That’s why you’re my best friend.”
“Honey, I got this. This Asian knows what she is doing.”
After I pay, we go to the food court. We sit down with our Chick Fillet at a table in the center. I glance around and make sure there aren’t any angry gay people. I don’t have anything against gay people but I sure do love me some chicken. “So,” Jennifer says.
“So,” I say, tearing my chicken strip apart to cool.
“Have you guys done it yet?”
“What?” I bark out. “Who?”
Jen rolls her eyes. “You and Taylor Lautner? Liam, duh!”
“No! Of course not. We’ve only been dating a freaking week.” We’re just pretending! You can’t pretend to do that, it’s either do it or don’t!
She holds her hands up in surrender. “Okay. Okay. I’m just curious. Damn. Can’t blame a girl for fantasying over him. He’s hot. Anybody with eyes can see that.”
Something tingles in my belly. You can’t be jealous of your pretend boyfriend, Katy. “Yeah, he is,” I snap.
“Do you plan on doing it?” she asks, over her chicken strip.
“I don’t know, we haven’t even been going out a week, like I said. That’s a big step for anybody. It took me and Logan seven months before we done it.”
I roll my eyes. “Jennifer, you’ve never done it, you don’t know.”
“You don’t know if I have, there was a rumor I gave it up at Asian camp,” Jen says.
“You started that rumor.”
She smiles. “It was still a rumor.”
I cock an eyebrow. “New subject, this is making me nervous.”
“What’s making you nervous,” I hear from beside me. Liam is standing above me, his lip curled up into a smile.
“Nothing--,”
“Doing it,” Jennifer blurts out. “You know, shaking the chandelier, getting ya groove on, making babies.”
“I think he got it the first time,” I say.
Liam laughs and sits down beside me. He grabs one of my fries. “Yeah, I knew what you meant. What about it?”
“Nothing---,”
“I asked if you two had done it yet,” Jen says. “Katy went to freaking out like always.”
Liam chocks on my fry. He is probably repulsed. “What?”
“I know ridiculous,” I say.
Liam stares at me and cocks an eyebrow. He grabs my thigh and I shiver. He leans in close to my ear, pressing a soft kiss to my neck. All the heat in my body pulls to that one spot. “We just haven’t found the right moment yet. Not ready.”
Jennifer is wide eyed. When Liam pulls back, I’m quaking. “So, who won that game last Friday?”
“What game?” Jen ask.
“You know the game,” I bite through my teeth.
“There wasn’t a game,” Liam says. “It’s not even a season.”
I grab my chicken and shove it in my mouth. I can tell they are both about to laugh, but they hold it back.
After the embarrassment of talking about sex dies down, Liam offers to take me home. I would rather ride with Jennifer since Liam has been acting strange but what girlfriend wouldn’t jump at the chance to be alone with her boyfriend. So, I get in the Jeep with Liam.
“So,” Liam says, tapping his fingers along his steering wheel. “Homecoming dance tomorrow. Is that your dress in there,” he asks, eyeing the sack in the floorboard.
“Yep, it’s black. I like it.”
“Can I take a peak?” he asks.
I shake my head. “Bad luck.”